So I still don't own Twilight, but that's okay because it makes borrowing the characters so much more interesting. I can make them as gay or as straight as I want. That's a lie if anything I only make them gay because that makes them way more entertaining. Not even for y'all but for me. It brings me joy and I feel like that's what should matter most.
For those of you who are curious and constantly asking me about Bella and whether or not she's at least a half vampire all I can say to you is shush and enjoy the story. All your questions will be answered in due time, but there is an order that must be followed which means I'm not telling you. Stop trying to jump to the end of the story. You willing hopped on this rollercoaster now just enjoy the ride. I promise it will all be explained later. Now on with the story!
Side Note: I realize I've been gone for a minute and I'm sorry about that. I originally planned to sit down and write a few chapters while I was on break, but I swear if it wasn't one thing it was another. I went back to my childhood home and turns out we didn't have internet. Nobody bothered to tell me that shit ahead of time. Then when we finally did get internet my computer crashed. Then while one friend was getting married the others new husband got into a car accident and died. You would think they could make it easy for me, but no! I'm supposed to be there for both of them and they live 7 hours away! On top of that I had a kidney infection and my mom was sick. 'Twas not a Merry Christmas in my house, but we made it through thankfully! My laptop is back in working order (for now) and I should hopefully be getting another soon. So for all of y'all who have been leaving reviews, PMing me, emailing me and hitting me up on kik (if you have it). I've been listening I swear. I have a new beta and everything I'm gonna try to be on it. I'm not gonna lie though I've be working on some new stuff as well so that's been a bit of a distraction, but I'm back and I'm gonna focus as much as I can. I promise I'm not just gonna disappear again for 3+ years without telling y'all something.
Thank you to everybody whosent me PM's and giving me some ideas to work with. Also thank you to everybody who left encouraging reviews because I actually do read every single one of those. Oh and for the Guest who checks to see if I've updated this story: Every. Single. Day. I don't want to make any promises, but I'm working on more chapters now so I'll try not to go another 1 month, 1 week, and 1 day without updating at least one of my stories, but again I make no promises.
PS: Thank you to my new beta, Imouto's Mad House, for being willing to work around my insane schedule and allowing me to bounce ideas off of you and even provide me with a few of your own.
It's now been a little over two weeks since Isabella first graced these halls after the Cullen's left her with a painful parting gift. Due to their negligence I've been constantly dealing with feeling as though I'm taking one step forward just too accidentally say the wrong thing and take two steps back.
She's far more sensitive than I originally anticipated and picking my words is becoming more difficult with each passing day. I just feel as though I can't really do anything right in her eyes. I'll forever have to bare the fact that I left her with her mother to be abused for pretty much all of her life just to move in with a father who never actually acknowledged her presence when he didn't have too.
I realize in part I should be more upset over the fact that Isabella is taking her anger at others out on me, but at the same time she doesn't have anybody else she can take this aggression out on. She's probably been bottling up her anger up for years, and she's finally being able to vent that anger. I wish she would choose another target, but if this is what she needs from me right now that I can try to grin and bear it for a little while longer.
Whether she admits it or not she was never willing to show this side of herself to the Cullen's simply because she was too busy trying to fit into their false sense of family. All they do is cook, clean, and play house, but I doubt they ever really deal with real issues outside of the occasional bloodlust.
"Sulpicia, my love, I can practically see your thoughts turning within your head. Would you mind telling me what's bothering you?" I sigh as I rest heavily in my throne as I stare at the ceiling.
"I just don't know what to do about Isabella. It seems like every time I make even a little bit of progress she takes offense to something I say and it thrusts me all the way back to step one. Now that she no longer really needs me to help her bathe it's becoming more challenging to find excuses to go see her." I rest my head on my hand heavily leaning closer to Aro. I realize it wouldn't be very proper for me to sit in his lap, but right now I really want too.
"If you don't mind my wandering ears I must ask, why do you feel as though you need an excuse to go see her? Why not go visit her simply because you can?" Marcus asks as he leans forward in his through to look at me.
I look down and shrug not really having a valid excuse for my actions. "I don't know I just feel like if I didn't have a reason to see her Isabella would find a way to completely dismiss me." I look up and see Marcus slowly nodding his head as he continues to look at me thoughtfully.
"Sweetheart, you know that you must be patient with our dear, Isabella. You and our beloved Jane have both talked about how she has never had a reliable parental figure who has actually stuck around. Constantly pushing you away is her only defense against letting you in." Aro says trying to comfort me to the best of his ability.
"I know and I really am trying to be patient and understanding, but it just so difficult because I want to be there for her. You know how much I regret never having the chance to raise my own daughter." I sigh as I resist the urge to run my fingers through my hair in frustration.
"Sulpicia, you know as well as I that it was not your fault. The fact that you managed to even keep track of your family shows just how deeply you care. The rests of us failed to do the same especially after so many wars that have taken place in our lifetime." Athenodora says ruefully which makes me realize that I wasn't the only one who never got to raise their child. I'm sure I'm coming across as being childish especially since Isabella is here safe and sound for the most part.
"I know Dora and I'm so sorry. It's just that she's only 17-years-old and she's already so jaded by life and unwilling to trust. This just isn't the life I envisioned for her." I hear Caius chuckle darkly which hits a nerve. I growl in his direction softly.
"I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you. I swear. I was laughing at what you just said. It's the most parent-esque sentence I think I've ever hear leave your mouth, Sulpicia. You know as well as anybody that you can't plan the life you wish a child to have. You have been watching your family for centuries, and every now and again they will do something you don't agree with. Why would now be any different?" I growl again more at myself than at him because as much as I hate to admit it he's right.
"I know you're right Caius, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still so angry about what Renee has done. Also, the fact that Xavier knew and never said anything infuriates at me especially because he thinks he can hide from me now." I growl in anger.
"Sulpicia, my love, please calm down. You know we are doing everything we possibly can to find him and bring him in. He has many questions to answers and nothing short of death will keep him from doing so." Aro growls softly helping me calm down a little bit. I hear a chorus of growl from Dora, Caius, and Marcus as well. I realize that I'm not the only one up in arms about what has transpired. They have all been so willing to accept Isabella in with open arms. Whether she knows it or not she is a part of our family I just need to help her realize that.
We all sit in silence for a moment as we collect our thoughts as work through whatever is going through our minds. "You know that most parents wouldn't look for an excuse to see their child, right? Many children do not know what is best for them especially while they are teenagers." Marcus says with a soft chuckle trying to lighten the mood.
"She already hates me Marcus. It feels like she blames me for everything that's happened in her life." Once again, I hear him chuckle softly.
"I don't believe she blames you for everything I think she's mostly upset over what could have been. Between Renee, Charlie and those damn Cullen's Isabella is still searching for the stability she has always craved. She might have believed she had found that within the Cullen's and well you saw how well that ended. You constantly having an excuse when you see her could possibly make it feel as though you don't want anything to do with her unless you have too." I nod slowly taking in everything Marcus has said because I never thought to look at it from that point of view.
"Thank you for the advice, Marcus. Now I think it would best if I went to go see Isabella and try to clear the air." I say as I use my vampire speed to appear outside of Jane's bedroom door. I knock softly a few times, just in case Isabella is indecent. After watching a few moments, I open to the door just to feel a bit discouraged when I see that the room is empty.
Jane must have finally gotten Isabella out of the room and taken her for a short walk. Based on what little I know about Isabella I feel as though it is safe to assume that she wouldn't want to be around too many off duty guard members. So naturally the next place I look for them would be the garden because it is beautiful and secluded. It takes a few moments of looking around the garden before I spot Jane and Isabella sitting underneath a tree both just looking up at the sky in a peaceful silence.
I stand back for a few moments and just watch them. In all the time that I've known Jane I can honestly say that I've never seen her look so relaxed. It's almost like she's been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders until she met Isabella. I really do hate to ruin their moment, but I really need to talk to Isabella because I've already wasted too much time waiting for her to finally warm up to me.
Jane continues to stare at the sky for a few moments longer before she finally decides to acknowledge my presence. As she looks over at me and nods I take that as my cue to give her a moment. "Bella," she says in a soft tone I've never heard her use not even with Alec.
"Yes, Jane," Isabella says in an equally soft tone that makes me question how much progress they've made in their relationship. Although just based on looking at her now Jane has been helping her make all the difference.
"I know that you have told me that you do not wish to discuss Sulpicia, but she's here to talk to you." I watch as the serene smile quickly slides off Isabella's face. I'll admit that does hurt, but at the same time I can't say I didn't see that reaction coming.
"She's already done her mandatory visit for the day. Why is she here again?" Isabella says as she begins to stand up, but is quickly stopped by Jane gently placing her hand on her thigh keeping her still.
"Bella, she's here because she cares about you. I realize you're still upset and I do not fault you for that, but at least here her out. I've been telling you that she was going to come talk to you eventually so you can't say you're really that surprised." I hear Isabella groan in defeat as she crosses her arms over her chest.
"I realize you're not exactly happy right now, but could you please just hear Sulpicia out? I think having a relationship would genuinely benefit the both you. Also, you know I would never suggest this if I didn't have your best interest at heart." I see Isabella begrudgingly nod and uncross her arms.
Jane looks over at me and nods and she begins to stand up. She takes her time dusting off her legs before she grabs Isabella's hand gently. "I shall leave you two alone to talk, but I will be waiting for you in our room." Jane says as she kisses the back of Isabella's hand before she takes off back towards the castle.
I chuckle softly when I see a blush working its way up Isabella neck. She looks so sweet and innocent when she's blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush. Whether Jane is willing to admit it or not, she's treating Isabella as more than just a friend.
I take this moment to sit down next to Isabella. Before she has the chance to say anything I beat her to the punch. "I realize you're still upset with me, but I would appreciate it if you heard me out before you say anything." Isabella looks at me skeptically for a moment before she nods silently.
"I realize I haven't exactly been the most present person in your life ever since you stopped needing my help bathing. I'm sorry if that came across as me not caring or as though I was forced to check on you at least once a day because that's not the case. I know you probably don't believe me, but I do love you Isabella." At that moment I pause to see if she's going to say anything, but she remains silent like I've asked.
"I've been making excuses instead of just coming to see you simply because I can. I realize now that that was wrong of me to do. I thought keeping a level of distance would give you time to adjust and heal. Even though we didn't talk that much when I would come to visit I would still check in with Jane every day for a full report on how you were actually doing." I watch as she goes from calm to upset in the blink of an eye.
"So are you why Jane has been so nice to me!? You've been using her to spy on me?" Isabella growls softly as she moves further away from me to creates more space between us.
"Actually no, Jane is being nice to you because she wants to be. You will quickly learn that Jane is never one to do something that she doesn't want to. There are people she has known for centuries and to this day she makes it her mission to strike fear in their very soul simply because she can. She's nothing like that when she's with you, Isabella." All I get in return is a silent nod as Isabella leans her head against the tree again and closes her eyes for a moment.
"Although while Jane was keeping me updated on how you were doing she was constantly calling me a coward for not asking you myself." That receives a soft chuckle as Isabella opens her eyes to look at me with amusement.
"I'm finding it hard to believe that Jane actually said that to you. I mean you are a Queen after all. I'm sure you're not really accustomed to being talked to like that, are you?" Isabella says with a bit of a bitter tone that I choose to ignore for now.
"Yes, it was a bit of a shock for me as well, but I can't exactly be upset with her especially when she was right. I should act more mature about all of this. I'm just worried I guess, because I do want you to like me, but I realize we probably got off on the wrong foot." I see Isabella is looking at me rather curiously. I'm not really sure how to feel about that until she chuckles.
"You know when you helped give me baths? That's the first time I can really remember actually feeling cared for. I can't remember the last time Renee actually tried to give a damn about me, and Charlie was always so awkward around me." In all this time I completely forget that Charlie might be wondering where Isabella has gone. Has she even asked about him? I don't remember Jane ever really bringing him up in any of our conversations.
"Isabella, in the whole time that you've been here have you ever been worried about Charlie? Surely he is worried about you and has noticed something, right?" I watch as she thinks for a moment before shrugging her shoulders.
"I'm sure Charlie is a little bit worried, but not to the point where he would actually attempt to look for me. At the same time that depends on if he's even noticed I'm not there anymore." What in the hell? How could he not notice she's been missing?
"What do you mean? Surely he would know that you've been gone for a few weeks now, right?" I see her shake her head slowly with a sad smile.
"Well I mean even though we lived together I really didn't see him all that much. He made sure to stay at work longer and come home after I had already gone to bed so we wouldn't be able to spend much time together." I feel my eyes beginning to darken as I imagine Isabella being all alone all the time.
"Why would he do that? You're his only child! Surely he would want to spend as much time as he possibly could with you." Again, I see Isabella shake her head slowly.
"Honestly I think when Renee left and took me with her Charlie was relieved. He never really knew how to handle me once he noticed my abnormality. In all the time we were apart he would never come visit, but I would get one awkward phone call on my birthday." Isabella says with another shrug as though that was just normal when it's not. He is her father and he did nothing!
I see her eyes began to well with tears and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and never let her go. She never deserved to experience such rejection from her own father from birth.
"So, you would rather him think you just up and left?" I ask trying to understand her point of view on this. The more I hear about her parents the more I release just how unfit they both were.
"Please don't get me wrong. I'm sure Charlie loves me in his own way, I guess, but it was never really in the way that I needed. I wish he and I could have had a more father daughter relationship, but we were more like roommates than anything else. He would pay all the bills, and for groceries, and I took care of everything else. I'm sure once he runs out of food he'll notice I'm missing … maybe." She says with uncertainty followed by a seemingly indifferent shrug that does nothing to mask the pain I see in her eyes.
"That is completely unacceptable!" I yell quickly losing control of my temper. Isabella abruptly flinches away from me quickly putting an end to my temper tantrum. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let me temper get the best of me." I say softly when I see her beginning move further away from me out of fear.
"Please come here I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry that I upset you." I say as I slowly try to place my hand on her shoulder, but again she moves away from me.
"Why did you get so angry? Are you upset with me?" I look at her in confusion. Why on Earth would I ever blame her? It takes a few moments for me to realize that this probably has something to do with Renee once again.
"I would never blame you for the relationship you have with your father. Or in this case, the lack thereof is all his fault. It's a father's job to love and protect his child no matter the circumstances, and in this case Charlie has failed on both accounts." I huff in frustration as Isabella just shrugs once again attempting to seem indifferent.
"I wish you could see what I see when I look at you, Isabella." I sigh as I gently begin to run my fingers through her hair. Thankfully she doesn't flinch away from me this time.
Again, we slip into silence as I pull Isabella closer causing her to rest her head against my shoulder while I continue to run my fingers through her hair. I don't really know what else to say about all of this especially when I don't know the whole story. Though one things for sure. I've now added Charlie to my hit list, right after Renee. I growl lowly in the back of my throat.
"You're growling again," Isabella says as she wraps her arms around herself tightly. I immediately stop and release an annoyed sigh.
"Yes, well that's what vampires do when they're upset. What else am I supposed to do when I'm upset with literally every parent you've allegedly had so far. And I use the term parent very loosely." I huff in frustration when all I receive in return in a soft chuckle.
"You should be prepared to be upset often then, especially if you actually want to get to know me, because if that little bit made you mad it will only go downhill from here. I doubt there's much about me that you will actually like." At this moment I look down and glare at her because she should never say that about herself.
"How about you let me be the judge of that, okay? Also, for the sake of full disclosure so you can't say I never told you later. I fully intend of killing both Renee and Charlie." That causes Isabella to pull away from me abruptly.
"Why would you do that? They've never done anything to you." She says with genuine confusion on her face that at any other time would have been adorable.
"They have done nothing your whole life but hurt you. That counts as doing something to me in my book. They were your parents and they failed you. You might be willing to overlook that fact, but I most certainly am not." I say with finality in my voice that let's Isabella know that I will not being changing my mind.
"When I told him what Renee was like he was upset and even said he wanted to kill Renee, but I never felt like he would actually do it. I can't say the same with you." Is she referring to Edward when she says him? I'll talk to her about that at a later date.
"Well you will quickly learn that I'm not in the habit of saying things that I don't actually mean. You will also learn that I'm a rather vengeful person so I'm plotting revenge against quite a few people on your behalf. Starting with the guard who was supposed to be watching you." Isabella looks at me thoughtfully before she finally voices her thoughts.
"So, you really had no clue what was going on the whole time? They really never told you anything?" She says softly, almost sounding hopefully.
"I promise you that I never knew. If I had any inkling as to what was really going on I would have flown to Phoenix myself to kill Renee and bring you back to Volterra with me. Though the second I did find out I sent Jane and Alec out to retrieve you because I was having a bit of a temper tantrum and Aro thought it was best if I didn't go. It was purely a coincidence that they happened to arrive just when you needed them, which makes me regret the fact that I wasn't there even more." She leans back to look at my face probably to see if I'm lying to her or not. Thankfully whatever she sees she deems acceptable as she rests her head back on my shoulder.
"I'll admit that in the time that I've been here I've wondered what my life would have been like if you had taken me away from Renee. I would like to believe that I would have had a happy childhood here, even though all of you feed from humans." Isabella says in a tone that makes me smile.
"Yes, well unlike the pathetic vampires you've been associating with here we are real vampires. Besides even though Carlisle believes he's far superior because he drinks from animals it actually makes them far weaker than he's willing to acknowledge. If any of his family had to fight a human drinking vampire they'd surely lose without much of an actual fight." I feel Isabella nod against my shoulder silently.
"If they ever had turned me like they claimed they would I doubt I could drink from animals. They're too innocent and I would feel worse killing an innocent deer as opposed to a rapist or murderer." I smile softly at the fact that Isabella has thought about becoming one of us. I would like it if she did, that way I would never have to worry about losing her to old age.
"Most of the people we feed from are considered to be bad people. So if you were to remain here that would never be an issue." Again, I feel Isabella nod against my shoulder. Another silent moment settles over us, but it's not exactly a comfortable silence. It feels like Isabella is thinking hard on something. "What's on your mind?" I ask softly.
"If you were serious about killing Renee and Charlie, then technically I would be an orphan. I don't really know how I feel about that right now." I rest my chin on her head as I now voice my thoughts.
"As long as I'm alive you will never be an orphan. You will always have a home here with me. I would love to have a daughter like you." I sigh softly as I wrap my arms around Isabella's waist pulling her closer.
"You mean you've dreamed of having a daughter who's a freak and is practically hated by everybody including herself?" Isabella says with a bitter tone that breaks my unbeating heart.
"No, I dreamt of a girl who is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I dreamt of a girl who needs my love just as much as I needed hers. I dreamt of a girl that Aro could spoil absolutely rotten with his love and compassion. I dreamt of a girl who would be my little princess. I'd very much love that girl to be you, whenever you're ready." I hear Isabella sniffle softly.
"How are you so sure that Aro will even like me? He might think I'm a freak too because of my condition." I weigh the thought of bending the truth a bit, but ultimately realize that wouldn't be in my best interest in the end.
"Whenever I would receive updates about you Aro would be present with me. He already knows about your condition and loves you anyway, just as I do." I feel Isabella try to pull away from me, but I tighten my grip around her enough to keep her still, but not enough to hurt her.
"He really doesn't care?" She asks softly when she realizes I'm not going to be releasing her anytime soon.
"The only thing he cares about is you being happy. The fact that you were born different doesn't change anything in his eyes. You'd still be the princess we've always wanted." I kiss Isabella's forward as she slowly nods her head finally settling back into my side comfortably.
"Maybe I could meet him one day." Isabella says softly as she begins to rest against my side heavily. I can tell by her voice that she's attempting to fight off falling asleep so I respond in a soft tone as to not disturb her peace too much.
"I'm positive he would absolutely love that. He's been trying to stay away to give you time to adjust and he didn't want to overwhelm you because he can be quite the character." All I receive in return is deep breaths as Isabella completely nods off.
I don't know how long we sit outside, but I just want to savor the feeling of finally being able to just hold Isabella like I've been craving since she arrived. When the temperature begins to drop I wrap my arms around her shoulders and underneath her knees. I swiftly stand up and walk her back to her room. Jane is kindly awaiting our return back to their room with the door wide open.
I walk in and gently set Isabella down on the bed. She wastes no time rolling over on her side and nuzzles into a pillow on the opposite side. I couldn't resist chuckling when I over and see Jane smiling proudly.
"That's my pillow she's snuggling with. She seems to really enjoy the way I smell." I nod in understanding as we both turn to look at Isabella again. I don't know long we're standing there before we hear her release a soft whimper.
"Is she still being plagued by nightmares?" I ask Jane softly when I hear her sigh as she moves to her side of the bed. She wastes no time sliding in next to Isabella and pulling her as close as possible. Thankfully that seems to quiet her immediately before the dreams could become too bad.
"Unfortunately they are an everyday occurrence. She really won't tell me much about them besides the fact that she's been suffering from nightmares for quite a while. I'd imagine they're only made worse why her most recent transgression." I nod silently as I see Isabella nuzzle her head into the area between Jane's neck and shoulder.
I feel my eyes blacken again when I remember what kind of condition Isabella was in when she originally graced these hallowed halls in Jane's arms. "We're still working on located that bastard. Would you like to be on the team that brings him in?" I see Jane is about to readily agree when she suddenly looks down at Isabella. I can see the hesitation in her eyes about the thought of leaving Isabella especially when she might need her.
"How about you two talk about it when she wakes up, and then you can let me know. It's not like you have to decide right now anyway." I see Jane nod as she tightens her grip around Isabella's waist.
I watch them for a little while longer before I turn and make my exit. I slowly make my way back to the throne room with a soft smile on my face. I know Isabella and I still have a lot to talk about, but I think we're finally on the right path for once.
Okay so I realize we've gotten off to a bit of a slow start here, but I don't want to rush this story especially since this is a rare pairing. For those of you who have left me messages and PM'd me I haven't abandoned this story I promise it's just been a rough semester for me. I'm going to try and write as much as I can while I'm on break, and hopefully I can manage my time better and write throughout the semester, but I make no promises on that.