Authoress: Michelle C.

Date: February 23, 2003 Series: Cowboy Bebop

Disclaimers: Uh… *Stares* Do you think I own Cowboy Bebop? My… you're stupider than I thought =D Run around in circles. *Watches as personz run in circles* Gooooooood personz. I've always loved obedient peoplez. (No, I don't own CB, as much as I'd love to =*[)

From the Eyes of a Shrew

Chapter 1

Oh, So Typical… Or Is It?

I sighed as I sat down. 'This is a life?' I thought dejectedly. I sighed again and stretched my legs out on the big ugly couch of the old ship. 'Repulsive old thing,' I thought, not quite sure myself if I meant the yellow lump Jet insists on calling a couch or the Bebop, the ship that 'Papa-dear', 'Brat', 'Mutt', the 'Lunk-head', and I call 'home'. Heh. Some home.

            I sighed again as I stared up at the fan. 'Why does Jet bother keeping that thing?' I thought, scowling.

            It was hot. Really hot. And the sore excuse for a fan was broken. Again. Didn't matter anyway. It only had 2 flap… thingies.

            The air conditioning was on the fritz again too. "Damned ship," I said aloud.

            "Talking to yourself again, Faye?"

            'Damn it.'

            "People are gonna start thinking you're a nut," he said.

            "Spike," I said and whirled my head around to glare at him, the simple action letting loose small droplets of sweat that were clinging to my now-screwed hair. "Spike," I said again, more slowly now. "Go away," I said, putting my head back down on the armrest. "Please," I reluctantly added when I didn't hear his stupid shoes moving any farther away from me.

            I closed my eyes and few seconds later, trying in vain to actually fall asleep. Yeah right. Like even the Mutt could sleep in the heat.

ddddddd          And that's when I felt him. 'Oh my god,' I thought twitching. 'He did not just do that.' I kept that thought in my head for a little while but it didn't help much. I thought it faster and faster until it all blurred into gibberish. 'He did not just do that, he did not just do that, he didnot just do that, hedidnot justdo that, hedidnotjustdothat, hedidnotjustdothathedidnotjustdothathedidnotjustdothathedidnotjustdothat……'

            But he did. Spike Spiegel had planted his butt on top of my legs. I had my legs together and they were in no way strong enough to move him, let alone to lift him off of me so I did the only thing that I could think of at the time.

            "Get your friggin' ass offa my legs, Spike Spiegel," I growled, my eyes still shut. Oh god, and guess what he did then. Just guess. Give up? Heh. Get this…

            "Nah. I don't really feel like it," he said smoothly.

            My eye twitched a bit more. I tried to pretend that I didn't hear him and squirmed a bit under his weight. I guess he couldn't have been what you would consider 'heavy' but he definitely wasn't light, that's for sure. Oh god. The heat was really getting to me by then.

            "Spike," I said sweetly, opening one eye a smidge, "please get the hell off of me." I said the last part with a bit of a sharper tone.

            "But I'm so comfortable," he said with a whine. Oh boy was he asking for it. 'Comfortable' my ass. I knew that he was just as uncomfortable as I was but was simply trying to get a rise out of me. Well…

            "Spike," I cooed now. "Spike, be a sweetheart," I said slowly, "AND GET THE FRIGGIN' HELL OFFA ME BEFORE I TAKE THAT MOP YOU CALL HAIR AND USE IT TO MOP THE GODDAMN FLOOR!" That oughtta show him.

            "No water," he said easily, leaving the couch finally. I lifted my back and sat up with my legs in the same position.

            "What?" I asked, my eyes shooting daggers at the back of that green afro of his.

            "No water," he said again without stopping.

            'Why that… that…' I couldn't find the right word for him.

            "Faye-Faye!" came a voice. "Faye-Faye, Faye-Faye!!"

            'Oh no,' I thought in horror. Quickly, I pulled my legs off the couch. Big mistake. "OW!!!" I cried. 'Damn it!' I thought, wincing. It was that damn hot, hot enough so that when I sweated so much and then left my skin on that stupid… leather (or plastic, or whatever the hell that cheap ugly lump was made of), it stuck! So my legs were pretty damn red when I got up…

            Rubbing my hot, and now stinging calves, I started to limp out of the room. 'Better this than having that little Brat jump on me. I'm tired enough anyways, and besides, it's too damn hot…' I thought before stumbling forward a few more feet.


            "Oof," I cried as Ed came leaping into the 'living room.' "ED! Get the HELL OFF OF ME!" I screamed, thrashing a bit. Wasn't it bad enough that that stupid Lunk-head sat on my legs, forcing them to stick like glue to the couch, did I have to have this… crazy little girl plow into me and then sit on my stomach too? Wasn't my life horrible enou—

            'Forget it,' I thought as Ed got off. "You're so lucky it's so hot, Ed," I said slurring my words slightly.

            I heard Ed laugh like a maniac and yelling something about water, fuel, and food. I was too tired, though, and trudged to my room, slumping into an untidy little heap on my bed the second I hit something soft, silky, and smooth.

            Before I fell asleep, I felt cool air all over my body. It was so cold all of a sudden…! I actually started to shiver from the cold, but was too tired to move.

            Man… What a whacked out day. First, it was so hot and all day when I was awake, it stayed that way making me think I would die from dehydration or something.

            Then, I was trying to sleep and I felt like I would freeze to death. 'The cosmos really hates me,' I thought before drifting off.

            The last thing I remembered seeing was a mop of fuzzy green hair by my door (which I was sure I had shut) and it coming closer and closer. The next thing I knew, I was in a blissful and pleasant place (at least for that time being) and away from the heat… the cold… whatever.