A/N: I am a horrible, horrible person and I am so, so sorry that I dropped this the way I did. I lost the muse, and I am trying very hard to get it back. I got it back enough to write out this chapter at least. That counts right? I'm very sorry if it comes out choppy, I'm a little rusty again when it comes to writing. :-)

I hope you enjoy it all the same!


"Alright, so Mikey's just relaxing at April's right now." Raph sighed in relief. "That's good right?"

"Better than him leaving." Leo said. "Although I would have preferred for him to say he was coming home."

"At least we know where he is right now and that he's being looked after," Donnie told Leo. "I'd prefer him home too, but better April's than shell knows where."

"So when do we go get him?" Raphael questioned. "I don't want him to stay there…"

The sound of Donatello's phone ringing interrupted them. Donnie didn't need to look at his call display to know who it was on the other end. "Hi, April."

"Hi Donnie." April began. "I know you heard everything that went on over here. Are you guys doing ok?"

"Yes, well no, that is... As good as we can be I suppose."

"Would you put that on speaker so we can hear her!" Raph snapped at his younger brother. "We want to talk to her too!"

"Oh, right, of course." Donnie stammered, pressing the speaker option on his cell. "Hey April!" Raph shouted once he knew she could hear him. "Is he really doing ok?"

"Well," she paused as she thought back to her conversation with him earlier and tried to not sound choked up. "As good as he can be, I suppose."

"How are you doing, April?" Leo asked gently.

"I'm...I don't really know." April admitted softly. "Shocked, sad, mad, scared, all at once. I don't know what to make of it. I honestly never would have expected this to happen, especially not to Mikey. How could any of us have missed the signs?" April rambled on, "I mean, I'm a reporter. I'm supposed to be able to figure out when people are hiding something and dig for the information they're hiding. I never even once thought that Mikey was hiding something like this."

"You sound just like us, April." Donnie said sadly. "We're still trying to figure out why he wrote the things he did in his note."

"Note?" April asked, surprised. "What note?"

The three brothers looked at each other, unsure how to answer. The silence lingered longer than April liked. "Guys!" She said, sounding upset. "What note?"

"His, well, his goodbye note to us and to dad." Leo finally answered, not wanting to think about it.

"You mean, like a suicide note?" April asked, as she up from the couch and began pacing the living room.

"Yes, that's what we mean." Raphael said solemnly. "I accidentally found it getting something from his room last night. He meant to do it last night while the three of us were on patrol and he was going to stay home, saying he didn't feel good. Obviously though, I found it before it got to that."

This time the silence from April was unnerving to the turtles. "April?" Donnie said. "You still there?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm still here."

Leo sighed. "You still ok?"

"No. Now I'm not ok." April said barely above a whisper. "You mean to tell me that I just spent almost an hour talking to someone that, had Raph not found his note, should be dead?! I just thought he was thinking about maybe doing something and was cutting to deal with those thoughts. I didn't think that he actually had the whole thing all planned out and is now living through a day he didn't want to live in to begin with!"

"April, please calm down." Leo said, trying his level best to stay calm as well.

"Sorry, but this is all a little hard to swallow," she admitted. "He just said to me on the phone that he hurt himself and he wanted to again, but didn't want to because Donnie patched him up. Then he said that he wanted to get rid of what was bothering his brothers, and then gets here and says that he's basically just in the way and…"

April was silent for a few moments again, putting the pieces of the puzzle together. "He thinks that he's what's bothering you."

"Yes."

"And he wants to get rid of himself to make you all happy?"

"Pretty much."

"Is that what he said in the note?"

"In addition to being a horrible son, a disappointment to us and a failure in general, that about covers it, April." Donnie confirmed as he removed his glasses to wipe a tear from his eye.

April made her way to the kitchen and sat at her table. "But, I, I don't understand." April began, leaning her head in one hand and holding the phone in the other. "How did he get to that conclusion?"

"We really don't know April." Raph told her. "He thinks I don't like him because I have to be his bodyguard, Donnie doesn't like him because he always asks him to build stuff and that Leo doesn't like him because he's not smart enough and doesn't take things seriously."

"You think what I said helped him at all?" She asked, hoping that something positive would come of it.

"Not really sure, Ape." Raph said. "I don't think he'll believe anything we say unless it would be that we'd say that he's right and we don't like him. It's like everything else, to him, is a lie."

The sense of dread April felt earlier was starting to come back. "I have to go, guys."

"Why!?" Leo shouted. "What's wrong with Mikey? Something happen there?"

"No, Leo. At least not yet." April tried her best to comfort the oldest turtle. "I just don't want to leave a suicidal teenager alone any longer than he's already been. You guys can come by in a few hours. Maybe Mikey will be ready to talk to you then, I'm really not sure, but I know you guys will want to come by no matter what just to know that he's ok."

"Ok, we'll be there."

"Oh wait," she sighed sadly. "It's light out. It was risky enough for Mikey to come in but for three of you…"

"We'll make it work, April." Donnie told her. "We can't wait until nightfall to go to your place. We just can't leave him there like that. We need to be there with him."

"Ok guys, I know you'll be careful." April smiled at the determination the three eldest had. Anything for Mikey, right guys? "I'll see you guys in a bit."

April hung up with the older turtles and looked back at the room where the youngest turtle was currently resting. Now what do I do? April mused. If he was that determined, I'm sure my story did nothing to help him. She made her way to the door and knocked on it gently. Hopefully he's doing ok and I'm just overreacting.


After April completed her story , Mikey made his way to her spare room to try and think things through. He lay quietly on the spare room bed, and thought about the events that had occurred over the last 12 hours.

Seems like a lot longer than that. Mikey mused. But, they've been trying so hard to help me from the second they found out about my note. Mikey thought about it a bit longer and shook his head. It's their sense of duty coming through; they really can't think that the runt of the litter is so important that they'd do all this for him. They'd just feel guilty if they didn't try to do something. It is all they've ever done; look after the helpless one.

Mikey could hear April talking on the phone in her living room. He quietly got up out of bed and silently opened the door to listen in on her side of the conversation:

"I know you heard everything that went on over here..."

They heard all that!? Mikey thought to himself. They heard me talking to her, and what she said to me!? He then shook his head, berating himself for thinking he would have been "away" from his brothers by coming here. Of course they heard everything...Donnie probably put mics or something in her apartment, or even on her, just for safety sake.

"Are you guys doing ok?"

Even I know that's a bad question, April. They spent their night in my room, uncomfortable as shell to keep me there and then I ran off. Had everything gone right, and I hadn't woke up this morning, they'd feel a lot better than they do right now.

He stood by the door, completely silent and unmoving. If master could see me right now, Mikey thought with a small chuckle, he'd be shocked that I actually know how to stand still and be quiet. Mikey was watching April, trying to figure out what his brothers may be telling her on the other end, then watched as her eyes grew big, and she seemed overwhelmed by fear.

"You mean, like a suicide note?"

Ahh shell, I forgot she didn't know about that part. Mikey nearly hit his head in the door, but held back so she wouldn't know he was still listening in. It's not that big of a deal, April. But now I do feel like a jerk for not writing something for you in there. I'll have to fix that too.

Mikey went through the night stand in the spare room, smiling when he found a pad and paper. I'm so sorry I forgot about you, April. Mikey sighed as he began writing. It didn't seem to help them understand, but maybe you will. It's not fault though, I'm too stupid to even write how I feel down well enough for people to understand me. I'll try to do better this time though.

Mikey finished up the note and left it on the nightstand. He then went back to the door, watching and waiting for April to leave the living room.

"He thinks that he's what's bothering you."

It's pretty obvious that I am what's bothering them, April, Mikey sighed. Look at all the things they have to do for me, just so I can function everyday! No one should be that much of a burden on others, especially on awesome guys like them.

After a few minutes, he watched as she went in sat at her kitchen table. Mikey snuck out of the room, and quietly took the coat and hat from the open closet.

I'm so sorry, April. It's just better this way. Mikey whispered as he quietly exited the apartment.

"I'll see you guys in a bit."


A/N 2: I hope I was able to clearly write what I had in my head. Basically April feeling like something was going to happen was at about the same time that Mikey started writing the note. Mikey left the apartment at pretty much the exact time that she said that she'd see the boys in a bit. She has no idea that Mikey heard a thing when she knocked on the door