*POP POP POP*
*Plip POP PHISH POP*
*POP POP POP*
*Plip POP PLIP*

Frieza - don't you have a disclaimer to say?
*LAB - *Hunched over a huge pile of bubble wrap* No, too busy, I'll share this bubble wrap if you do it.

Frieza - deal, Blitzwing does not own DBZ, All he owns is his own planet, massive droid armies, and massive war fleet.

LAB - Ixnay on the arway leetfay!

Frieza - Gimme some now.

LAB - No, mine!

Frieza - You said!

LAB - um... No I didn't

Frieza - Why You! *attack LAB, starts a brawl*

LAB - Get off me! Um, don't look at this, read the story, Ow! no biting! *bites Frieza's arm"

Frieza - GAH! OW! Stupid Monk... er .... ROBOT!

LAB- Hey! My bother and I beat you rather easily when your father invaded our galaxy!

Frieza - GRRR! *Uses pliers on LAB's nose*

LAB - OW! WHY YOU LITTLE! *Bops Frieza ala 3 Stooges**Turns to you* Are you still here? Read the story!

Frieza - HA! I stole your Cape! *runs*

LAB - HEY! My mom made that for me! *looks at you again* What? Robots have mothers, the machines that built us, and stop reading this! read the story! *chases Frieza*
696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969

Frieza's New life

"Court is now in session, the honorable King Yemma presiding" an ogre in a tacky business suit said, "Case of the People of HFIL vs Frieza"
"Frieza, we have received a record number of complaints stating you are constantly bullying other spirits and being very annoying" King Yemma said, "How do you plea?"
"MFFT MGHDT!" Frieza mumbled through his muzzle which he was placed in to prevent the possible firing of mouth Ki beams.
"I take that as a Guilty, it's just easier that way." Yemma said, " I sentence you to be returned to life under the care of a being far stronger than you are"
"MFGHTSF! FHEHS!" Frieza tried to yell out.
"Who is there that can handle Frieza sir?" The tacky ogre asked.
"Hmm, I know! Get me Dende!" Yemma yelled.

(A/N - if this were a movie then the opening theme would begin here, but it isn't)

On Earth....
Gohan was flying home from school one day. It has been almost a year since the Buu saga occurred and Gohan had just finished his first week of his senior year. He and Videl started officially dating a few months after Buu, and Gohan couldn't be happier. Until now at least.
'Gohan! please come to the look out now!' Dende telepathically communicated to Gohan.
"Huh?" Gohan stopped dead, "Dende? why?"
'Just do it, you won't like this and it's not my doing!' Dende communicated, ' And no the toilet isn't overflowing again!'
Gohan cringed at the last time Dende had called him for an emergency and all that was wrong was the toilet overflowed flooding the lower levels of the lookout.
"I'll be there in a few minutes!" Gohan said changing course for the lookout.
'This better be important, Mom'll kill me for being late' Gohan thought as the lookout came into view. Dende and Mr. Popo were standing outside awaiting. Dende was visibly nervous when Gohan touched down.
"Well, what was so important?" Gohan asked the trembling Namek.
"Before I tell you I want you to understand that I had no say in the matter! This came from King Yemma himself" Dende said.
"That bad? Oh well, not your fault I guess, what is it?" Gohan said.
"Well, umm, Piccolo, please bring him out..." Dende said hiding behind Mr. Popo.
Gohan looked over as Piccolo emerged dragging a familiar figure behind him.
"Let go of me you cucumber" Frieza yelled.
"Dear Kami No.."Gohan groaned.
"Sorry, can't help it Gohan" Dende said.
"King Yemma kicked him out of Otherworld for being extremely annoying." Mr. Popo said, "You should feel honored to have been chosen by him to watch over Frieza"
"Honored! I get to baby-sit the worst tyrant in the universe and you think I should feel honored." Gohan yelled.
"Do you really think this stupid monkey can control me?" Frieza said struggling to reach the ground since Piccolo was holding him right off the ground.
"Kid, just take him, there's nothing you can do, and he's really starting to annoy me" Piccolo said setting Frieza down. Gohan stared in Frieza's eyes and Frieza started back.
"Look, I don't want this as much as you do, but we're stuck. If you even think of killing anyone or blowing up the planet I will kill you again, and I'll keep killing you every time you are sent back" Gohan said angrily.
"Why should I fear you? last we met you couldn't even beat my Ginyu Force?" Frieza smirked.
"Things have changed I am beyond a super saiya jin, My father could kill you with a pinkie, as could Piccolo, And your old friend Vegeta is far more than capable of and willing to kill you easily" Gohan growled, " Now are you going to come with me peacefully or do I have to tie you up in Ki bonds and lock you in a closet until they finally take you back into HFIL?"
Frieza stared and contemplated. On one hand Gohan could be lying, his father dead and Vegeta still too weak to fight him, on the other he could be telling the truth and a whole world of pain would be waiting for him.
"Fine monkey, I won't cause any trouble" Frieza mumbled deciding to wait to see if the young Saiya jin was lying or not. Gohan lead Frieza to the edge of the lookout and jumped off, free falling a bit before beginning to fly towards home.
"What do you do around here for fun?" Frieza asked, " blow up a random weakling? get two weaklings to fight the the death?"
Gohan snickered, " We chop wood."
"Thats..IT?! KING YEMMA WILL SUFFER FOR SENDING ME HERE!" Frieza exclaimed earning more laughs from Gohan.

Several minutes later Gohan landed in front of his house followed closely by Frieza.
"You expect me to stay here?" Frieza said.
"I didn't expect you at all! Just remember that even my little brother can kill you so don't try anything!"Gohan warned again. He walked up to the door followed closely by Frieza and opened it.
Immediately his acute hearing picked up a sound. He stepped out of the way as Goten flew by, missing him and plowing into Frieza. Frieza was taken by surprise and skidded back, finally falling on his rear and stopping.
"GET THIS THING OFF ME!" Frieza yelled trying to push Goten off his chest.
"You're no my big brother, who are you?" Goten asked.
"Goten, meet Frieza, Frieza, my little brother and clone of my dad." Gohan said.
"You're funny looking" Goten said hopping off Frieza's chest.
"Hmpf.." Was Frieza's reply as he hopped to his feet.
"Gohan? Is that you? Can you help me with these groceries?" Chi chi said walking up the path behind them along with Videl and two mountains of grocery bags.
"Okay Mom, You help Videl Frieza" Gohan said.
"Make me" Frieza replied.
"Do it or else I'll dedicate all night and all tomorrow to killing you in the most painful ways possible and then I'll drag you over to Vegeta and let him have some fun!" Gohan threatened.
Had Frieza no been mainly white he would have paled completely. He decided it would be wise to listen to Gohan. He used his telekinesis abilities to levitate the groceries out of the two women's arms and into the house. Chi chi and Videl looked upon the newcomer slightly stunned.
"Gohan who is your new friend?" Chi chi asked having never seen what Frieza looked like, only knowing his name.
"Mom, Videl, This is Frieza, the guy who almost killed everyone on Namek ten years ago" Gohan said,"And I'm baby-sitting him as a personal favor for King Yemma"
"I am not being baby-sat! OW OW OW! STOPPIT!" Frieza cried out as Chi chi unleashed a fury of smacks with her Patented SkullBasher Frying Pan.
(A/N - she uses the royalties to feed the saiya jins, how else would she afford all that food?)
"TEACH YOU TO TRY TO KILL MY BABY!" Chi chi yelled out beating on Frieza's skull.
Gohan couldn't resist falling over laughing while Goten and Videl looked on confused at the whole situation.
"Monkey! call off this crazed woman!" Frieza ordered Gohan.
"Why should I? Maybe if you said please and and stopped calling us Saiya jins monkeys then I may help you" Gohan said still laughing as his mom was beating up one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy.
"Grr...OW!" Frieza growled as Chi chi landed a solid blow to his forehead, " all right! Please stop this crazed person!"
"Since you ask so nicely" Gohan smirked, "Mom, please stop hitting Frieza, he's learned his lesson."
Chi chi stopped hitting Frieza and whacked Gohan hard over the head. It was now Frieza's turn to crack up watching the demi Saiya jin cower from the steel object.
"Mom! what was that for!" Gohan cried out rubbing the new lump on his head.
"That's for bringing that thing home!" Chi chi fumed.
"Excuse me but I am not a 'thing' I am an Ice jin" Frieza corrected Chi Chi. Chi chi thanked Frieza with another blow to the head.
"I don't want that thing around here! It may try to kill some one" Chi chi said smacking Frieza before he could correct her again.
"What else am I supposed to do with him? This came from King Yemma himself, Just let him stay until they agree to take him back." Gohan said.
Chi chi understood the seriousness and the honor bestowed on a person if they are given a task by King Yemma himself.
"Ok he can stay but at the first sign of ANY trouble he is gone!" Chi chi said disappearing into the house.
"How did she aquire such a strong weapon?" Frieza asked rubbing his head.
"Gohan, could you please explain who this is?" Videl asked having not caught any of the conversation from before.
"Videl this is Frieza, former tyrant and intergalactic dictator" Gohan said.
"Pleased to meet you" Videl said offering her hand to Frieza.
"you had better not be planning on hitting me with one of those things like that other woman" Frieza said cautiously shaking her hand.
"Well with all the beatings and introductions aside shall we go in and figure out where you are going to sleep until they take you back?" Gohan asked pushing Frieza inside.
Videl and Goten followed Gohan and Frieza into Gohans bedroom. Goten had gotten his own room after Gohan and Videl started dating so that Videl could have his old bed in Gohans room when she would stay overnight.
"I guess you''ll have to sleep in this bed for now" Gohan said pointing to the second bed in the room.
"Hmpf....I'd rather be back in HFIL..."Frieza mumbled.
"Your own fault for getting kicked out." Gohan said, " I don't know why they punished me by putting me in charge of you."
"Shut up..." Frieza grumbled as Goten started tugging on his arm, " What do you want?"
"Come and see my room and all my toys and my pet toad! actually it was Gohans, he said he caught it after he was teleported off of Namek and it used to be some guy named Captain Ginyu and.." Goten said dragging Frieza off.
"Monk...Boy Help me!" Frieza cried trying to get loose from the young demi Saiya Jin.
"Naw, have fun Goten, and don't destroy anything Frieza!" Gohan called after him.
"since you gave away my bed where will I sleep tonight?" Videl asked smirking.
"Well, we always seem to eventually end up next to each other at some point at night so what's the difference?" Gohan grinned putting his arms around her and kissing her. Their embrace was interrupted when Chi chi yelled that Goku had arrived home from sparring with Vegeta.
"I'd better go tell dad what's happened so there isn't an accident" Gohan said releasing Videl.

"Hey son, anything interesting happen at school today?" Goku said trying to sound like a concerned parent.
"No, but something happened after school, guess what" Gohan said.
"Oh! I love guessing games! um.. You dumped Videl for another girl!" Goku guessed.
"What? NO! let me but it this way, who caused you to first transform into a super saiya jin?" Gohan asked.
"Oh no! did Krillen get killed again? he seems to die as much as me" Goku said looking sad.
"no no no, krillen isn't dead! I hate to say this but Frieza is" Gohan started before being interrupted.
"Get that thing away from me!!" Frieza cried out running into the living room followed closely by Goten.
"Wait! don't you want to play with Capt. Ginyu!" Goten called out carrying the frog with him.
"Frieza! what are you doing here?" Goku said sounding serious and sliding into a fighting stance.
"Ah, the monkey, this time you will be the one loses!" Frieza exclaimed charging at Goku. Frieza didn't even get near Goku as Gohan had grabbed his moms frying pan and held it in front of Frieza making him run right into it, knocking him out cold. Chi chi grabbed the pan from Gohan and hit him in the head once.
"MY PAN!" Chi chi screamed before hitting Goku also, NO FIGHTING IN THE HOUSE! now go get cleaned up because dinner is almost ready."
A murmur of yes Chi chi's and yes moms and a single groan came from the motley group.
Several minutes later the group assembled back at the table, Frieza didn't want to sit with everyone but Gohan had forced him.
"At least I'm at the head of the table" Frieza said sitting in one of the two single chairs on each end of the table. Goten was at the other end, Chi chi and Goku on one side sitting together and Gohan and Videl on the other.
"No! I'm at the head!" Goten said cheerfully puffing out his chest.
"No I am" Frieza said pointing to himself.
"Nah uh! I am!" Goten said.
"No me!" Frieza replied.
"ME!"
"NO ME!"
"ME!"
"NO ME!"
"ME ME ME ME!"
"ME ME ME ME!" the two argued until Gohan got fed up.
"QUIET! neither of you are at the head of the table! Mom and dad are!" Gohan said, "You two are on the sides!"
"Aw...." Goten groaned.
"Hpmf." Frieza grunted.
"Thank you Gohan, now everyone dig in!" Chi chi said. Frieza poked at his food looking at it oddly.
"Why aren't you eating Frieza?" Goten asked.
"How do I know you aren't trying to poison me?" Frieza asked.
"If we were to poison you you'd just end up back here so what would be the point?" Gohan asked.
"True... " Frieza said before cautiously taking a few bites. Frieza grinned and then started wolfing everything down until he was full.
"well did you enjoy it?" Chi chi asked.
"If I were to kill everyone on this planet I would leave you alive and make you my personal cook" Frieza said licking his lips.
"Huh?" Chi chi replied.
"That means he liked it a lot Mom" Gohan said.
"Oh, thank you, Gohan would you please help me do the dishes?" Chi chi asked.
"Ok mom" Gohan said going to help her. Goku decided to go outside and take a bath in his barrel.
Goten tugged on Frieza's arm to get his attention.
"What do you want now?" Frieza grumbled.
"Do you want to play Hyper Dimension?" Goten asked.
"What is that?" Frieza asked the young one.
"It's a game that Trunks mom made after daddy killed Majin Buu, It' s a fighting game with all the Z fighters and villains, there's even one that looks like you!" Goten said.
"Like me? Show me!" Frieza said following Goten.
"This may be interesting." Videl said following.
Goten hopped into the living room and turned on the TV. He pulled out his game console and popped Hyper Dimension into the slot.
Goten handed the second player controller to Frieza as Videl sat on the couch to watch.
"Hey! I am in this game! prepare to die!" Frieza said choosing himself.
"I am the champion of this game!" Goten said choosing Gotenks.
"How come no one ever picks me?" Videl mumbled.
In the kitchen Gohan had just finished washing the dishes.
"WHY WON'T YOU DIE!" Frieza yelled out.
"NAH NAH! CAN'T KILL ME!" Goten cried out laughing.
"Oh no..." Gohan groaned running into the living room. He skidded to a stop expecting to see Frieza and Goten fighting but instead saw Frieza sulking on the couch and Goten and Videl playing the game.
"What was the yelling about?" Gohan asked.
"Hey big brother! I beat Frieza! Aren't I the best?" Goten said losing concentration on the game against Videl. He was playing as Vegeta and Videl was playing as herself.
"You only won because you memorized all the buttons, I was just learning." Frieza snapped before returning to a sulking position.
"Hey Goten I just beat you" Videl said smirking and watching the victory cut scene. On the TV it showed Videl punching and kicking Vegeta like mad but not causing any damage. Vegeta turned to the screen and started laughing, letting his guard down. Videl then kicked Vegeta right in the nuts, making him keel over covering his jewels as Videl smiled at the player and gave the V finger sign.
"I love that scene" Videl chuckled remembering the time she actually did kick Vegeta there. His voice was high for the rest of the day, which he spent trying to find and kill Videl.
"No fair! I was distracted!" Goten whined.
"You let your guard down like that for real and you'll end up like Vegeta on the TV" Gohan chuckled, "I got next game!"
"I shall destroy the winner!" Frieza exclaimed enjoying the earth video game.

Chi chi and Goku looked on on the group playing Video Games.
"Hmm, Goten seems to like Frieza, this may not be as bad as I thought, as long as he doesn't try to kill anyone" Chi chi said.
"um Chi, can I uh... well...." Goku said watching Gohan and Videl play while Frieza and Goten looked on.
"Ok, you can go play, I'll finish the cleaning" Chi chi smiled, "It's like I have three kids"
"Yes! Frieza! I challenge you!" Goku exclaimed hopping over the back of the couch.
"I'm so scared!" Frieza said sarcastically.
"I hope things go all right at the picnic tomorrow." Chi chi said.