DBZ Fanifiction God: Blitzwing! I hereby order you to write this fanfic and only this fanfic!
Blitzwing: .... (Sits there staring blankly into space)
DBZFFG: Do you dare to ignore me!
Primus, god of Transformers: Stand aside you pathetic minor god! Never try to order around one of my creations! Blitzwing! I order you to write!
Blitzwing: .... (Still staring blankly)
DBZFFG: Oh yeah, that really worked, (Looks over as Aerogauge enters the room)
Aerogauge: Amateurs. (Starts giving Blitzwing a backrub) Blitzy, are you going to write for me?
Blitzwing: .... (Still staring, but with a look of relaxation on his face now)
Primus: Tell me, if you're the pro then how come he still isn't moving?
Aerogauge: Shut up...(Trunks enters the room)
Trunks: Stand aside Gods and Babes (Jumps on Blitzwings' shoulder) I'll give you ten bucks to write.
Blitzwing: Deal! (Runs to computer)
Trunks: Ha! novices (Taunts the other three)
Gunlord- Don't make me hunt you down.
"Welcome back Mr. Son, Miss Satan" Mr. Toonie said, seeming quite annoyed, "Now that your back can you please take that blasted gameboy away from your Siberian friend?"
"Why?" Gohan asked, looking up to see a large group of students gathered around Frieza while he played the gameboy.
"Attack it! Kill it!" One of the students exclaimed.
"Use a potion!" Another cried out, "Before you die!"
"Will you all shut up!" Frieza snapped, "And get away from me!"
"Move away!" Videl ordered, "Back to your seats now!"
"Yes Ma'am!" Most of the students exclaimed, running away from Videl.
"What are you playing anyways?" Gohan asked.
"I don't know, but I have to kill this demonic little creature!" Frieza said, pressing buttons wildly, "Bah! You have no chance you little yellow demon!"
"You're playing Pokemon?" Gohan asked, "You, formerly the most feared tyrant in the galaxy are having fun playing Pokemon."
"On my home planets there are some creatures similar to this who regularly try to eat young Ice jin" Frieza said, "Noo! How can it take out my fish warrior so fast!"
"Um, you were using a Magicarp against a Pikachu, water is weak against electric" Videl said, noticing the odd look she was getting from Gohan, "What? My seven year old cousin still plays it all the time and won't stop telling me about every little detail about every little creature"
"Sure" Gohan said, grabbing the gameboy from Frieza, "Now is time to be quiet"
"Hey!" Frieza exclaimed, trying to grab the gameboy back, "I didn't save the game!"
"I'll do it but you're being too disruptive with it." Videl said, taking the gameboy from Gohan and saving the game before turning it off, "You can have it back later"
"So what am I supposed to do to amuse myself now?" Frieza asked.
"Mr. Kold, I don't know how they do things in Siberia but here we are quiet when the teacher is trying to teach." Mr. Toonie snapped.
"(Shut up before I feed your carcass to my Saiya jin pet here)" Frieza said in his native language.
"Thank you, now then open your books to page 344" Mr. Toonie said.
"So what am I supposed to do now?" Frieza asked in a much quieter voice.
"Try sitting there and listening, maybe you'll learn something about our planet" Gohan said as the teacher started a lecture.
"I'll bet Zarbon and Ginyu are having more fun than this" Frieza mumbled.
"I just realized something" Chi chi said, pulling up to the grocery store with Zarbon, "You look like a complete fool in that outfit"
"You force me to come here wearing this then insult me because of it?" Zarbon said with a confused look on his face, "I don't understand this planet."
"Shut up" Chi chi said, running towards a payphone, "I need to get you some new clothes."
"What?" Zarbon asked, looking on oddly.
Chi chi dialed up Capsule corp and Vegeta answered the phone.
"Who the hell is it!" Vegeta snapped over the phone.
"Vegeta, put Bulma on the phone" Chi chi said.
"The woman is on the can or something" Vegeta said, the sounds of Bulma screaming at him in the background suddenly coming over the phone.
"Vegeta! How many times do I have to tell you if you don't know where I am you don't say I'm in the bathroom!" Bulma screamed.
"Well what am I supposed to say Woman!" Vegeta screamed back, "Perhaps I should ay you're dying your hair!"
"You know damn well that I don't dye my hair!" Bulma snapped back, "If you even think about telling anyone that I'll move you permanately to the couch!"
"You would come crying back to me after two days!" Vegeta laughed back, forgetting about Chi chi and hanging up the phone.
"Why that idiotic little prick!" Chi chi screamed, putting another coin in and dialing again. Vegeta answered the phone again.
"What now!" Vegeta yelled into the phone.
"Listen to me you short little bastard! Put Bulma on the phone now or else!" Chi screamed.
"You dare to insult me!" Vegeta screamed, "The woman is dying her hair, she's too busy to talk to you harpy"
"I am going to kill you Vegeta!" Bulma screamed from the background as the sounds of Vegeta laughing and running away could be heard, "Hello, sorry about Vegeta"
"Bulma, I need you!" Chi chi said, "I'm in town with Zarbon and I need to get him something to wear besides that dreadful armor"
"You're with Zarbon?" Bulma asked, chuckling, "How'd you manage to get him to listen?"
"Frieza ordered him to" Chi chi said, "I still have a hard time believing this could be the same Frieza that almost killed my Gohan"
"I have doubts too" Bulma said, "I'll meet you at the Satan City Mall, I think Goten, Trunks and Ginyu are in that area playing super hero or something, should get him something too"
"Alright, but how to we contact them?" Chi chi said, "Goten took to only spare communicator."
"We'll figure something out" Bulma said, "I'll be there soon"
"Zarbon!" Chi chi called, "Let's get going"
"Yes mistress" Zarbon said sarcastically, earning a whang to the head with the pan, "Ow!"
"Don't give me attitude." Chi chi said.
"Dende this is boring" Gohan groaned, looking over at Frieza who appeared to be fascinated by the lesson, "How can he be so interested?"
"This is all new to him, I highly doubt he knows anything about Earth history." Videl said, "At least he hasn't caused a disruption"
"Well, not another one at least" Gohan said, "I kind of wish he would, make things interesting."
"Can't win them all" Videl said.
A little while later Chi chi arrived at the Satan City mall to find Bulma and Vegeta waiting.
"What's the royal prick doing here?" Chi chi scowled.
"When he heard mall, he thought food court and bulk barn" Bulma said.
"No, I wanted to watch Zarbon make a fool of himself." Vegeta smirked, "The food is just a pleasantry"
"Great, this day just keeps getting better" Zarbon grumbled, "Why can't I just wear my armor, I have for almost sixty years!"
"You're sixty years old?" Chi chi said, "Could have fooled me"
"My species has incredible longevity" Zarbon said, "Which means while the monkey prince here is sleeping with the worms I'll be fit as a fiddle and dancing on his grave"
"Provided I don't kill you again!" Vegeta snapped, charging up a Ki ball.
"Vegeta....." Bulma said, glaring at him while Chi chi brandished her pan in a threatening manner.
"Fine" Vegeta said, extinguishing the Ki ball as Zarbon got a good laugh at the whipped Saiya jin, "Shut up, that just means I won't kill you now"
"So how are we going to get Ginyu here?" Chi chi asked.
"Believe it or not Vegeta has an idea, but he won't tell me what it is" Bulma said, turning to her husband, "Care to enlighten us now that we're here?"
"Yes, I saw in the paper today that the buffoon would be here signing autographs, it gave me an idea" Vegeta said, leading the group through the parking lot until he found what he was looking for, "Somehow the fool managed to get his hands on one of these, the Ferarri Enzo, only 399 have been and will ever be made"
"I know that, I bought you one remember? I had to go through a lot to get that thing!" Bulma said, "What's this got to do with anything?"
"This" Vegeta said, firing a beam at the car and making it explode, showering the parking lot with car parts and sending people screaming, "Now there's only 398 in the world and only 397 until I have the only one"
"How come he gets to blow something up and I don't?" Zarbon asked.
"Because he has a reputation for making people who sue disappear" Bulma said, "He can also be very helpful in hostile take overs and merger talks"
Gohan was trying to stay awake in class when his and Videls watches beeped. Mr. Toonie stopped talking and let the two crime fighters hear their message.
"Go ahead chief" Videl said.
"Videl, we need you and Saiyaman at the Satan City mall post haste!" The chief said, "Some one blew up a car"
"That's it?" Gohan asked, "You call us for a car?"
"It was your fathers car Videl" The chief said, "We have a description of the suspect, he is very short with very big hair"
"Vegeta" Gohan and Videl said at the same time, dashing out of the room.
"Where are they going now?" Frieza asked.
"They fight crime with the police, they'll be back soon" Mr. Toonie said.
"The HFIL with this, I'm going with them" Frieza said, standing up.
"Sit down Mr. Kold so I can get back to the lesson" Mr. Toonie said.
"I'm not going to listen to some weak pathetic human" Frieza said, flaring his ki and incinerating the clothes Gohan gave him.
"What the HFIL are you!" One student exclaimed as Frieza flew out a window at the same time as Gohan and Videl flew off the roof.
"What are you doing?" Gohan asked, "You're supposed to stay in class"
"I didn't want to be stuck with all those weakling humans, and that yellow haired female you call Erasa was pinching my tail the whole time" Frieza said.
"Right..." Videl said, "Where are your clothes?"
"Burned them" Frieza said, "They were itchy"
"Why'd you keep the hat?" Gohan asked.
"I liked it" Frieza said, flying after Gohan and Videl.
"I don't think it worked" Chi chi said. Jumping as four figures landed behind her.
"Halt evil doers or face the fury of!" Goten said, dropping into a pose that made him look like Bubbles the monkey, "Goten!"
"Trunks!" Trunks said, entering a crane pose.
"Goku!" Goku said, smiling and giving the Hercule victory sign.
"And Capt. Ginyu!" Ginyu yelled, going for his classic pose, "Together we are!"
"The new Ginyu Force!" They all said together.
"Okay then..." Bulma said sweatdropping.
"Kakkarot, what the hell are you doing?" Vegeta asked, trying not to laugh, and failing miserably at his attempt.
"I was bored so I decided to join them" Goku said, "In fact we were on our way to Bulmas so I could change into some armor."
"Good, while you're hear Goku I can get you some new clothes as well." Chi chi said, making Goku look unhappy.
"But chi..." Goku whined.
"So what, is there nothing to do here?" Ginyu asked.
"Yes, Now that you're here I can kill two birds with one stone, get you something nice to wear" Chi chi said.
"I like my armor" Ginyu said.
"Bad move Cap'n" Trunks said, as Chi chi grabbed Ginyus ear and prevented him from making a run for it.
"My Car!" Hercule screamed, running out of the mall, "My precious baby! What did they do to you! Who did this!"
"He did!" Everyone said, pointing at Vegeta, who was pointing at Zarbon.
"Don't try to peg this on me" Zarbon exclaimed.
"Someone will pay for this!" Hercule screamed, glaring at Vegeta.
"Ahem" Vegeta said, popping open a capsule and catching the scrapbook that came out, "August seventh, Plaintiffs suing Mr. Vegeta Briefs for wrecked childrens birthday party disappear, September first, Owner of baseball team disappears after launching suit against Vegeta Briefs for attacking star player Yamcha, need I go on?"
"You keep a scrapbook?" Trunks asked.
"Yes, say anything and I'll lock you in the gravity room with me for a week" Vegeta glared, replacing the scrapbook in the capsule.
"Never mind, accidents do happen" Hercule said, shaken by the scrapbook.
"What's going on?" Gohan asked, touching down with Videl and Frieza, "Having a party, this isn't the right place"
"Nice hat" Vegeta laughed, pointing at Frieza.
"Ha ha ha, shut up" Frieza said, "At least I can wear one"
"Ha ha ha, good bye" Vegeta said, blasting Frieza again.
"Vegeta!" Bulma, Chi chi and Gohan screamed.
"What? He insulted my hair" Vegeta said, heading for the mall entrance, "I'm going to the food court"
"Wait for me!" Goku exclaimed, dashing off after Vegeta at the mention of food.
"Wait up!" Goten and Trunks yelled, chasing after their fathers.
"When in Rome" Gohan said, transforming to his normal clothes and walking off after the other Saiya jins.
"Gohan! What do you think you're doing! Get back to school!" Chi chi exclaimed.
"Ok, I guess you'll be the one who has to look after them aside from shopping for Zarbon and Ginyu" Gohan said, "And Frieza when he gets back"
"Um.. On second thought I guess it won't kill you to miss a day of school" Chi chi said, dreading the thought of trying to control four Saiya jins in a mall...again.
"If you insist" Gohan smirked, "Are you coming Videl?"
"No, I think I'll help your mom and Bulma with the clothes shopping" Videl said, an grin on her face.
"Oh no!" Hercule exclaimed, zipping off after the group headed into the mall, "I left Buu in the food court!"
"Frieza!" King Yemma bellowed, "Can't you go two days without being back here?"
"Blame the short monkey 'prince', it's a game to him" Frieza muttered, Jumping off the edge back to Earth.
"Nice hat" One ofthe helper ogres remarked.
"Yes" King Yemma said, "Could have used some horns though"
"Hey! Why does he get to go back!" Sharpener screamed, "He's the one that killed me!"
"Will you just shut up and leave already!" King Yemma bellowed, "Leave now before I send you to HFIL and make you live with more aliens like him."
"I'm going!" Sharpener exclaimed, floating off towards the plane to heaven.
"Lord Frieza!" Zarbon exclaimed, bowing down as Frieza reappeared in front of them.
"What just happened?"
"Same thing that always happens, some one blows me up, I get yelled at by the horn head up there then I'm back" Frieza groaned, "Where did everyone go?"
"Food court" Ginyu said, "What ever that is."
"Now the three of you are ours" Bulma said, smirking evilly.
"We're going to have some fun with you" Videl said, matching Bulmas smirk.
"Don't forget I have to finish getting groceries" Chi chi said.
"Something is telling me it would be better to just fire a ki ball at my own head" Ginyu groaned.
"Oh no! You're not leaving me alone here" Frieza snapped as Bulma grabbed his arm and started dragging him behind her.
"Less talk" Bulma said, "More shop"
"Friends!" Buu exclaimed seeing the group of saiya jins dashing towards the food court.
"Out of the way gumwad!" Vegeta snappeed, dashing to the KFC.
"Hey Gohan, I'll give you three to one odds at least one of Frieza's men doesn't survive" Trunks said, smirking.
"You're on, I say they all live" Gohan said, "Put me down for a thousand"
"Where did you get that kind of money?" Trunks asked.
"Your piggy bank" Gohan laughed, heading one of the food court stalls.
"Hey!" Trunks exclaimed.
"So where should we start first?" Chi chi asked.
"Let's see" Bulma said, ignoring the odd looks she was getting for being with the three aliens, "We're going to need some of everything, underwear, pants, shirts, shorts, maybe a suit each"
"Hats" Ginyu said, surprising Bulma, "I want one too"
"I don't think we'd be able to find a hat that would fit your head" Chi chi said, "Your horns would really limit your choices"
"I can see him wearing a Robin hood hat" Bulma snickered.
"I have an idea" Videl said, "What about you Zarbon, you getting a hat?"
"Oh dear god no!" Zarbon exclaimed, "And risk messing up my hair? I think not"
"Tell me, is everyone from your planet as fruity as you?" Ginyu asked, having picked up on some earth slang while fighting crime with Goten and Trunks, "Or are you the only one like that?"
"What the HFIL are you talking about?" Zarbon snapped, noticing the three women laughing at him, "What?!"
"You don't want to know" Videl laughed, walking off with Captain Ginyu,"Come on Ginyu, I know the perfect store."
"Where did Frieza go?" Chi chi asked, a feeling of dread passing over her as she heard screaming coming from a nearby ice cream cart and Frieza walked over with a Hagen daz bar in his mouth.
"What did you do!" Bulma scolded.
"I wanted ice cream, the person refused to give it to me so I singed him slightly" Frieza said, holding out several other ice cream bars, "I brought enough for everyone"
"You can't go around hurting people! If you wanted ice cream you should have asked!" Chi chi said, refraining from hitting Frieza with her frying pan, "I call milk chocolate."
"I wanted that one!" Bulma exclaimed, "Oooh there's two!"
"What is this thing?" Zarbon asked, taking the last one which was dark chocolate.
"It's a frozen snack" Chi chi said, "These are expensive, I can't afford to eat them all the time"
"Mental note, launch hostile take over of Hagen Daz company" Bulma said, happily eating the ice cream treat.
"Told you I'd find you something" Videl said, returning with Ginyu, who was wearing a snowboarders jester hat. Two of the spikes stood straight indicating where Ginyu's horns were under the hat.
"Not bad." Bulma said, "Considering how limited your choices would have been."
"It was a tough choice between this one and the cat in the hat one" Videl said.
"But that one wouldn't annoy Zarbon like this one would." Ginyu smirked, shaking the hat and making the little bells jingle.
"Stop that before I kill you." Frieza said, glaring at Ginyu, "You can only annoy Zarbon when I'm not around."
"Hey!" Zarbon exclaimed.
"So where should we start?" Chi chi asked.
"We don't know how to shop and try things on." Frieza said, pointing to a Victorias secret store, "Why don't you three give us demonstration in there."
"Men, it doesn't matter what planet they come from, they are all the same..." Videl groaned as Chi chi smacked Frieza with the pan, "You are a guy right?"
"Of course I am! And that hurt!" Frieza snapped.
"Come on, we'll start here" Bulma said, dragging the group to one of the stylish stores.
(A/N - I don't know the names of any brand name stores, you want those, talk to my step sister)
"I still can't believe you can eat that much!" Hercule exclaimed watching the Saiya jins eat after having closed most of the food court, "Those piles are bigger than you!"
"Meh" Gohan said.
"I wonder if the aliens are still sane" Trunks chuckled.
"With the woman, the harpy and the buffoon's daughter, I doubt it" Vegeta said between stuffing tacos in his face.
"Hey! I'm not a buffoon!" Hercule said.
"I will not put that on!" Frieza said as Videl held up a T-shirt with a cartoony snowman on it.
"Why not, It would look so cute! You being an icejin and all." Videl said.
"No! You're obsessed with making me look cute!" Frieza exclaimed, making as run for it, "I'm outta here!"
"Get back here!" Videl screamed.
"I never used to have to go into the Big and Tall section, Vegeta and Trunks could always wear clothes from the childrens section." Bulma said, "I think this suit would look very smart on you."
"I tend to agree" Ginyu said, examining the blazer and dress shirt, "I shall try them on immediatly."
"No you won't! We're out of here!" Frieza yelled, grabbing Ginyu and dragging him away, "These women are crazy!"
"Come back!" Bulma called, "I like it in this section..."
"Stop them!" Videl yelled, running past.
"Try on this, and this, oh this looks handsome, And this" Chi chi went on, piling Zarbon with clothes similar to Gohan's geek clothes, "Try them on."
"I will not wear these things" Zarbon said.
"Why not?" Chi chi asked.
"Because then I'll look like your son, and he looks like an idiot in them" Zarbon said, noticing Chi chi fuming and wielding her frying pan, "I'll be running for my life now."
"No one insults my Gohans clothes!" Chi chi screamed, taking off after the long haired alien.
"Well this is fun!" Frieza said, noticing Zarbon had joined him and Ginyu in running, "Why are you running too?"
"I insulted the monkey boy" Zarbon said.
"I heard that!" Videl and Chi chi screamed, chasing after them.
"To HFIL with this, I didn't do anything wrong." Ginyu said, stoping and jumping out of the way as Videl and Chi chi ran by, "I want to try that suit on."
"Traitor!" Frieza screamed, taking to the air and zipping over the heads of the other shoppers, gaining a good lead over Videl and Chi chi, "We have to hide!"
"There!" Zarbon said, veering into another store.
"Did you just see Frieza and Zarbon fly by?" Goku asked.
"Yep, I guess they made Mom angry" Goten said, happily finishing his Baskin Robbins ice cream.
"Or Videl" Gohan added, "She can be just like Mom sometimes."
"What happened to Ginyu?" Trunks asked, causing the rest of the group to shrug.
"You came back!" Bulma exclaimed, handing the suit back to Ginyu, "Here."
"Thank you, I can't imagine why the others didn't like this place" Ginyu said heading for a change room.
"While you change I'll pick some more out" Bulma called.
"Gohan!" Videl called, "Did you see where they went?"
"Over there" Gohan said, pointing to a video game store.
"Thanks!" Videl said, running with Chi chi into the store. What followed was a lot of crashes, several people screaming and then Frieza and Zarbon breaking the glass door as they ran out. Chi chi and Videl dashed out after them, Chi chi wielding her frying pan.
"Care to help us!?" Chi chi 'asked'.
"Buu, could you please help them catch Frieza and Zarbon?" Gohan asked the big pink Blob.
"Buu help!" Buu exclaimed, bounding off.
"Bets on how long it take Buu to catch them." Trunks said.
"You've liked everything I have chosen for you, Are you sure you feel alright?" Bulma asked, "Normally Vegeta would be refusing everything."
"Before my planet was destroyed in Frieza's invasion I had a girlfriend and I learned to trust a womans fashion sense." Ginyu said.
"I see." Bulma snickers, "So you were whipped."
"Yes.." Ginyu said looking down.
"Let go of us!" Frieza screamed as Buu walked in with the other two women.
"You piece of mutant bubble gum! You want to die!" Zarbon said.
"Ha, you couldn't kill Buu if you were ten times stronger than you are now!" Videl laughed, "Now you will try on the clothes and you will like it! Got it!"
"Yes ma'am" Both said, beaten.
So So sorry I took so very long, but a large combination of factors have cut back my writing time.
1- too many stories to update
2- I began volunteering as a bowling coach with my best friend and have to get up at 7 AM on saturdays and spend almost 12 hours straight at the bowling alley, very tiring.
3- School, only 3 weeks till I'm done
4- Obsession with Sele-chans stories, go, read them, they are good!
5- my dad lost his job so I've been working part time to cut his expenses.
6- New laptop, my brother took my only other windows compatible computer last year when he went to college so I've been getting caught up playing all my older games.
7- My grandmother is moving and I've been helping her to pack up her house.