Title: Caught In the Act
Author: Sailor Billion Dollar Princess
Distribution: Ask me first
Disclaimer: I don't crap. Only the cigarette brand is mines
Rating: R
Content: Language & Smoking
Characters: (Main characters) Rey Mysterio, Edge, Chavo, Eddy, Benoit, RVD, Team Angle, Kidman, Undertaker, Konnan, Stone Cold, Stephanie, Shane & Vince McMahon, Booker T & Sean O'Haire
Note: Edge's neck is never hurt in this story
"I need a smoke." Rey thought as he walked into the empty office of Stephanie McMahon. Happy that the boss was out, Rey pulled out a small silver and blue box of cigarettes. He giggled with joy while pulling out the white cancer stick and put it between his lips. He stuffed the box back in his back pocket. Rey reached into his front right pocket and pulled out silver lighter with his mask logo on it. He pushed the button of it and the flame came out.

He moved it closer to the end of the cigarette and lit it up. Rey put the lighter back in his pocket and puffed away on the cigarette. He removed the stick away with his fingers and blew out the smoke. Enjoying the smell and taste, Rey sat back on the desk and sighed. It had been one year and two days(Gundam Wing) since he had his last smoke.

Tygress made him stopped smoking because she thought it was disgusting and he quit just for her. Rey looked at the burning cigarette and grinned at it. "I miss you." he told it. He took a few more puffs of it, until he heard footsteps.

"Thanks, Funaki. I'll take a look at this as soon I get home." said Stephanie, outside her door with the DVD of the anime, Utena: The Black Rose Saga Vol. 1 in her right hand. Rey's eyes bugged out and he gasped. He started to run around the room as Stephanie continued to talk to Funaki.

"Hide the cigarette. Hide the cigarette. Gotta hide it." his mind screamed. He looked at the trashcan and shrugged his shoulders. He toss it in the small black can with papers. Rey watched on as a small flame starts. The door opened finally, Rey stepped in front of the trash can with a fake smile and Stephanie entered.

"Hi Rey."

Rey started to sweat, but he kept that smile. "Hey."

"Anything you want?" she asked, putting the DVD in her bag. Rey shook his head.

"Nope! I was just walking in the halls and figure I just come in here." he lied. Stephanie cocked an eyebrow. She could smell a lie from a mile away. That and something was burning in the room.


"Yes, Stephanie?"

Stephanie put on a sweet smile before continuing. "Do you smell something burning here?" Rey started to panic.

"No." he said. Seeing smoke, Stephanie moved away to see what was behind the short man. Rey quickly got in the way with a smile. She try again, but Rey was in the way again.

"Is that FIRE I see?!" demanded Stephanie. Rey looked behind and back at the beautiful boss.

"...Maybe," he answered. He quickly picked up the trashcan. " I'll put it out." he said. He ran past her and down the hall. Stephanie leaned out the doorway.

"Wait! You can just put it out with water in my bathroom!" she called out.

"That's okay! I know a better way to put it out!" responded Rey. Stephanie shook her head in shame and shut the door.

"That boy ain't right."
Benoit napped in his room as Edge read the paper. Benoit like Edge. He was quiet and not a fool, unlike his other tag team partner that will remain nameless.*coughKurtAnglecough* Life was good to him at last.

"EEEEEDDDDDGGGGGGEEEE!!!!!!" screamed someone while running down the hall. Edge fell out of his chair, pages floating in the air. Benoit jumped up in fear, then he fell off the couch with a thud. Benoit sat up on the floor in disgust.

"What the hell is going on?!" he cried out. Edge had swirling circles in his eyes as he lies there. Benoit sighed. Sometimes, he hates his life. Rey busted into the room and ran straight to the bathroom. "Mysterio! Have you lost your masked mind?!?" Rey closed the door, then reopened it and popped his head out.

"...Maybe." he replied, then he shut the door. Benoit shook his fist at the door and snarled at Edge, who finally woke up and sat up.

"What happened?"

"That midget friend of yours is here with a flaming trash can!"

"Which midget? I mean, I'm one of the tallest guys here. Everyone is a midget to me..."


Rey opened the door and popped out his head. "Yes?"

"I wasn't calling for you! I was talking to Edge about you!"

"Oh!" Shut the door. Reopened the door."Hey Edge."

"Hey Rey!"

Rey closed the door. Benoit looked like he was going to cry. He was surrounded by morons and he was going to be one soon. He sniffed the air and made a sour look. "Do I smell cigarette smoke?"

Edge sniffed the air and made the same look. "Yeah." They looked at the door, at each other, at the door and back at each other. Edge softly knocked on the door. "Rey?"


"Why we can smell cigarette smoke in there?"

"...I don't know."



"You didn't answer the question."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't."

"....I farted. My farts smell like smokes."

Both Canadians dropped their jaws. Benoit recovered, then start to bang on the door.

"Damnit, Mysterio! Stop playing with us! Get out here!" he ordered. He stopped the banging, until Rey stepped out with the melted trashcan. He handed it to Benoit.

"This is Steph's. I didn't do nothing," he claimed. Rey jogged to the door and turned to the Canadians. "You didn't see anything." On that last note, Rey whispered and walk out.

"That boy ain't right." Benoit commented. Edge shrugged his shoulders.
**Next day**
Rey smiled as he blew out the smoke from his lips. He and Billy Kidman stood outside of the arena, away from the fans.

"I thought you quit smoking."

"So did I."

"Why are you doing this?"


Billy sighed. His little buddy was smoking again and he hated it too. He and Tygress hid the cancer sticks from Rey and Konnan. He thought it was funny when the guys broke down in tears after seeing Disco was smoking it all up. If he remembered, he has the scene on tape. Good ole video camera. "I talked to Konnan yesterday." Rey looked up with the cigarette barely on his lower lip.

"Sweet. Tell him I say Hi." said Rey. Billy smirked at him.

"You can tell him that yourself. He's signed."

The cigarette dropped from Rey's lips. Rey blinked two times "What?"



"Konnan is signed."


"To here."


"To Smackdown!."

Rey just stood there, then he did a back flip. He ran around the parking lot, cheering. "K-Dawg is back! K-Dawg is back!" he screamed. Billy laughed at his little buddy. Maybe Konnan can help him quit smoking again...yeah right.