Harry's bored of all of the messed up choices other people make for his life without even talking to him first, like he's an idiot. So when he's in a kids park before his 15th birthday with his 'stalker' Tonks and finds a weird coin, he chooses to let it decide for him from then on. Yes, or no? Its simple, yes? Well, it could be if his life wasn't such chaos and mayhem.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,587 - Reviews: 72 - Updated: 5/20/2013 - Published: 3/18/2013 - [Harry P., N. Tonks, Astoria G., Katie B.]
Harry James Potter is an average young man of average hopes and dreams. He's not quite fifteen yet, but in a few weeks he will be. However, average he might convince himself of being; he is far from average, or so jerks like to remind him. The fact, he has magical powers makes him above average to start with.
Then, something else puts him higher than above average. This is his surviving the unstoppable, (well it's unstoppable without some kind of solid object) Killing Curse. It supposedly hit him and bounced off. Its like that little rhyme the kids say, 'I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you throw at me bounces back and sticks to you', or something like that.
Anyway, Voldemort, THE Big Bad Evil Dark Wizard had been KO'd big style… well not KO'd really, more like torn from his body to spend the next thirteen years haunting a woods somewhere in Albania or Austria or something, he really didn't care too much on the details.
So, Harry's poor parents had died before hand: a shame most certainly. This is why the great, awesome, and super good guy leader of the light Albus Dumbledore placed Harry on the doorstep of his muggle relatives where he'll be safe and loved, at peace away from all of the fame he'll gain from his mysterious victory over some sixty year old dude with super awesome dark powers.
Now, Dumbledore might be awesome and smart with magic and be able to even convince himself and the smartest of his following of light wizards that something is the 'right' thing to do. However, in truth Dumbledore doesn't really understand people that much. He's like one of those shut in nerds, or geeks. He thinks he has a clue when in fact he doesn't, not really. However, rather than being socially inept and staying in doors away from people as he should, he ventures out.
This is where he sees people through rose coloured spectacles. There are those he knows are just plain douches, but he even tries to see them in a good light. He 'sees' that everyone can change and deserve the chance to prove it. He doesn't get the concept that is the bad guy murders some guys wife, husband, sister, brother, mother, or father that they deserve NO extra chance. There should not be any get out of jail free cards for the likes of them, but Dumbledore's strange and thinks that if someone repents they should be given a chance.
Now, this brings us to the old geezer dropping a freshly attacked, scared, and possibly hurt baby on a doorstep in England on a frosty November, early morning before the sun had even ventured out. It was just lucky Harry is a wizard or he could have frozen to death. But still, any responsible human being would have taken the baby to see doctors first, at the very least.
However, Dumbledore is naive, and the other two with him, one's an idiot so wouldn't think about it, and the other was too busy concerning herself with not wanting to leave the child with these, muggles, (which is a silly name they give non-magical peeps).
This brings us to Dumbledore's foolishness. He had seen both James and Lily Potter's wills, and in neither gave custody to Dumbledore or the muggles (The Dursley's). In fact, it stated in Lily's will that her 'sister' is no longer considered family, and under NO circumstances is he to go to them as she foresaw that they, (magic haters – most likely jealous) would mistreat her baby.
However, Dumbledore knows best of course, (yes that is sarcasm). He didn't believe a word Lily said. He believed it was just bitterness between sisters, but we all know he always wears his rose coloured specs when crap like this presents itself.
Later in the years to come when the old woman who lived nearby, a squib, (which is another silly name used for muggles born from witches). She was charged by Dumbledore to watch out for the boy, and she reported suspicious bruises on Harry, or outright said he's friendless and the whole neighbourhood has been led to believe he is a troublemaker, and blame Harry for all the wrongs his cousin Dudley does. However, Dumbledore just wouldn't believe her.
Dumbledore just couldn't believe that Harry's 'family' would ever care about him and love him any less than one hundred percent. He just couldn't fathom the possibility that Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived was an abused child… abused by his loving family no less. So all the squib lady, Ms. Figg could do is watch out for Harry, and make sure to feed him any chance she could get as Dumbledore wouldn't believe that the Dursley's were giving Harry hardly anything.
Ms. Figg had thought about calling muggle child services, but every time she went to, she convinced herself that Dumbledore will undo it all and push it aside as a misunderstanding no matter the evidence to prove otherwise. After all, Dumbledore believes that Harry staying with the Dursley's keeps him safe. Then, Dumbledore might replace her as Harry's watcher, and the new one might be as trusting and gullible as Dumbledore is, or just not care.
Dumbledore was simple enough to believe that it was a misunderstanding that Harry never got his letters inviting him to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry before his eleventh birthday, and sent Hagrid to sort it out. After all it seemed like a simple job for the friendly giant, and nobody else was around to do it anyway, and Dumbledore realized they had been travelling a bit, so figured they must be vacationing.
This is when Harry's life got flipped upside down with loads of people up to no good… or at least seriously stupid. So Harry turned up on the train after meeting a seriously dopey kid. He kind of thought he was funny so didn't mind making him his first ever friend. Though, he never liked that stupid dirty rat, and secretly made fun of Ron for sleeping with an animagus for four years. It wasn't even a cute woman magus, but some ugly old perv.
Anyway, Harry arrived, the Prince of Hogwarts. Though, he prays to the whole universe that nobody ever calls him that. He has enough stupid titles to deal with. It sometimes sucks being him, but he's learnt to deal.
Let's just skip all the years at Hogwarts to the holiday before his fifth year, after the resurrection of that dark dude you heard about earlier. You know the one that tried to murder baby Harry? The one that lost to baby Harry!? His name is Voldemort, or Tom if you really want to piss him off, (it's his normal people name – Tom Marvolo Riddle – anagrams as: I am Lord Voldemort.).
Well he used some evil ritual to come back, but NO! The Ministry of Magic doesn't give a crap! Well, they would if they didn't believe that evil Skitter woman's bull crap lies in the paper about Harry being a nut job. Seriously, if he thought Dumbledore wouldn't get in his way Harry would sue the Prophet, especially since they keep spreading little lies. However, since Dumbledore is letting them get away with whatever they like Harry knows Dumbledore in all his stupidity has a stupid scheme of his own in the works.
The schemes these supposed awesome 'great' wizards come up with are so elaborate they often go very wrong, but yet they still keep trying to pull them off. However, it's the schemes from scared little morons in power like the Minister that you should really watch out for. Minister Fudge is after all the type of person to bend or even change the law just to win some hard candy if he wanted it.
Harry sighed as he walked through the quiet park. Its early morning - six thirty if his watch is correct; it hadn't really worked well since he went for a swim in the lake at school for the second task of that stupid tournament. He just couldn't sleep much so he put on his crappy muggle clothes which used to belong to Dudley that don't fit right. He'll have to go shopping sometime after collecting some muggle dosh as soon as he can. He's tired of wearing this crap.
He rolled his eyes as that same woman is following him again. She's hidden but he can always sense her eyes, and knew it's a woman as he can smell her perfume. She is absolutely useless at tailing him, and she seems to be really clumsy. He had tried getting her and the others to talk to him sometimes, but none of them would. She had gasped the first time he let her know he knew she was there, but after that even tried to quieten her breathing. The others weren't nearly as shocked that they had been collared.
Internally shrugging he carried on until he found the perfect bush. He didn't give a crap if she's watching. She's the one stalking him and he is dying for a piss. He knows he should have gone before he went out on his morning walk, but he really didn't like to that early as his filthy family might wake, and he doesn't need them bothering him. Life with them is a lot better now than before Hogwarts, but that doesn't mean he wants to test their patience. Plus them being 'happy' make Harry happy as they just pretend he and his 'freak' friends don't exist.
Shrugging for real this time he pulled down his zip and pulled 'it' out. He smiled with a sigh as he let loose and took great pleasure in the small gasp his stalker let out as he let go and watered the bush. He's not the type to be shy about him self, especially after all of the Quidditch and practice has helped lightly tone his body.
Anyway, he knows he's quite well hung, by far the largest in his dorm, and he had caught glimpses here and there of older boys in the toilets so knows he's larger than those he's seen anyway, not that he cared to take too much notice. So, he had nothing to be ashamed of in that area, and his body has gone through a bit of a growth spurt over the summer so he's not so short any more
He shook off after the last spurt of pee left and put it away before he gets a 'problem' as he wondered what his stalker looked like and imagined a hot young woman. Its always the way… it must be so much easier being a girl. If they get the 'problem' they don't get a huge bulge in their pants. Teenage hormone suck, but at the same time they're great. It's complicated, but at least he doesn't have to deal with the whole period thing. That does not sound good. Though, it explains why moody-Hermione comes out to viciously hate Ron once a month for just under a week.
Harry's just glad that moody-Hermione has never hated him, but then he tends to not say stupid things at just the wrong moment like Ron does. He shivered at the thought of being that stupid. Ron can be fun, but he doesn't have a clue, and Harry wondered whether the Christmas gift of a book on girls and hormones would be taken well. Though, thinking about it, Ron would never read it so it's a waste of bother. Plus, if the girls found out and any were… he shivered at the thought.
Sighing he stretched and yawned as he turned to where his stalker is and rolled his eyes, feeling his courage egging him on. "Ginny Weasley stalks me much better than you, and she doesn't use an invisibility cloak," he said laughing as he felt her shifting uncomfortably. "I have loads of girls stalking me, but you are one of the worst!"
"I'm not stalking you," her voice just blurted out. She sounds fairly young Harry figured as his smirk widened on his lips. "I-I've been ordered to watch you by Dumbledore," she relented as she's already spoken she saw no reason to play quiet any more "I'm not supposed to speak with you, and if you knew I was here, you really should warn a girl before just pulling it out to pee."
"I'm not supposed to know you're there remember," he replied blushing with a laugh. "Well, later Invisa-Girl," he said waving as he went on his way letting her pretend nothing happened. After all, he doesn't want anyone to have to suffer one of Dumbledore's 'I'm disappointed in you' speeches, then his 'but I forgive you' speech, and finally the, 'don't do it again' speech.
He wondered how easy it would be to ditch her, but then pushed that thought back, remembering Dumbledore speeches. No. He's a man, and men don't let potentially hot young women suffer through such torture. It's just not the gentleman thing to do.
Therefore, he continued on his way and heard that his stalker wasn't trying as hard to be quiet any more He didn't know where he was walking to, and he never did, but it cleared his head a lot.
It had been over an hour when he arrived at a park he hadn't been to before. It was obviously new as the playground was new and shiny still, so he could only guess it's been in place for a few months at most, and the vandals, his cousin etc. haven't yet gotten to it yet. He entered the play park and slid up onto one of the swings moving back and forth.
He felt like telling his stalker to join him on the spare swing but chose not to bother. He guessed she wouldn't. She either believes whatever line Dumbledore gives her, or goes along with it to save her the hassle of his bull-crap speeches that make little sense and confuse people so much they just nod their heads in agreement anyway just to end the torture.
Harry decided he was going to ask her. "So Invisa-Girl," he spoke suddenly, which might have surprised her. "What do you think of my family?"
He didn't think she was going to answer for a moment when she did. "They're… great," she said, but it was obvious she forced herself to say that.
Harry laughed and rolled his eyes. "No… not what Dumbledore has fooled him self into thinking! What do you think?"
"They should be in jail!" she blurted out before she could stop herself. "I mean seriously. I heard from a few other members of Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix that Dumbledore is really naive, but I never thought for a moment that he… he…"
"That he could really think bitches like them is a cool place for your 'super' hero to stay with as a kid?" he asked and finished for her laughingly.
She laughed a little at that and Harry was surprised as she pulled her invisibility cloak off. He was right to think of her as hot. She is. Her body is slender, and her skin looked soft to the touch, and she has a nice large and firm bust, not too big but not small either. Her blue eyes sparkled with amusement and her flaming red hair just made her smoking.
"You could say that," she said smirking as she dumped her Invisa-cloak, sat, and swung on the swing next to his. "With relatives like them you're certainly ready for enemies trying to kill you."
"Yeah," he replied stretching out the word. "I would rather not have either. It seriously cuts into my social life."
"I know what you mean," she answered with a sad sigh. "I'm Tonks, by the way," she introduced herself before she continued. "I joined the Order because I want to help, but all I get is baby sitting duty."
"Hey I'm not a baby!" he retorted glaring at her. "Or do you want another look to proved it?" he asked the last with a smirk and light blush.
However, her blush exploded as she shook her hands in defence "S-sorry, well… yeah… you're freaking hung kid!" she blurted out looking even more embarrassed, but at least Harry's cheeks darkened too.
"Well, anyway," he began when suddenly something caught his eye. It was a twinkle, or spark of the early morning sun on something in the grass. He hopped off his swing and walked over to it with Tonks following looking confused.
He picked it up. It's a large silver coloured galleon. He frowned as it was weird. It didn't have the Gringotts crest on it. However, it did have two engravings, one either side. The side he would presume to be heads had a naked fairy on it seeming to be smiling brightly with sweet little angle wings on her back with three feathery tails.
However, the fairy that he would call tails too was naked with dragon or devil wings and a tail carrying blades in it with cute little horns on the side of her head pointing up with her hair at a backwards slant. The coin held weight and had a strange feel to it. He flipped it once and he watched as it tumbled back into his hand. He liked it.
"Wow, that's a pretty cool coin you found there," Tonks said with a teasing smile as she watched him flip the coin a few times. "What are you going to do?" she asked in amusement. "Make your choices based on a flip of that coin?" she asked laughingly. "Though, it might be better than following Dumbledore's decisions."
Harry grinned as he held the coin up showing the angel side. "Destiny is yes," he then flipped the coin to show the devil fairy. "Fate is no," he said smirking as he flipped the coin. It span and both watched as if it was moving in slow motion before Harry snatched it from the air and placed it flat on the back of his left hand hiding it from view.
Then he removed his hand to reveal Destiny. "It looks like I'll be letting this coin choose from now on. Anyway, leaving my life to chance has got to be safer than leaving it to Dumbledore. Check this," he said readying to flip his coin again. "Should I leave the Dursley's?"
Then flip, caught and saw it had landed on Fate.
"I guess not yet," he replied laughingly. "I'll have to wait for that blessed day, huh, Invisa-Girl?"
"You can't really be letting that coin decide your life for you," Tonks said looking doubtful.
Harry shrugged sheepishly as he flipped the coin and it landed on the angel fairy. Then before she could react, he had given her a small kiss on the lips startling her.
"It's got to be better than letting Dumbledore or any one else dictate my life," he answered as he pulled back smirking.
"Well, later Invisa-Girl…" he said cheerfully, happy with his coin as he walked round her. "Maybe next time you'll flash me some of that hot body of yours," he laughed as he began his trek back to Privet Drive.
Tonks took a few moments to gain her senses before scurrying under her invisibility cloak and quickly following him with a small amused smile, licking her lips.
"Maybe I will… give you a little show sometime," she whispered to herself too quiet for him to hear from where he is.
It had been a couple days since Harry had found his awesome coin. He lay on his bed in his horrid muggle crap just flipping his coin. It was odd, when he didn't ask it to make a decision it landed evenly, first heads, then tails, yes, then no, Destiny and Fate. It was weird alright, but as long as it helps him out and steers him right he'll take Fate and Destiny's help in making the right choices and that beats the alternative.
This brought him to a predicament. He wants to go muggle shopping as he flipped his coin and asked whether that was a good idea or not and he got an affirmative.
However, he can't go anywhere by himself as he tried yesterday and Moody didn't hesitate in stopping him from going that far. It annoyed the heck out of him, and if not for his coin might have hexed the jerk. Who the hell does he or Dumbledore for that matter think they are stopping him from getting what he needs?
This seems to include food too as he was stopped from entering the local convenience store, which is only at the end of the street. Sure, he would prefer to get some sandwiches from the local hypermarket or proper sandwich shop but he had to do. The Dursley's don't feed him, so he had actually had some muggle money and went to get his own.
He doesn't know why Dumbledore would forbid him using the local shops, or getting himself some new and respectable clothes. However, that's the excuse Moody gave for not allowing him. Though, Harry wasn't allowed to use his magic and his coin said no to just smacking him.
Harry wasn't sure why Fate kept him from just slugging the man, but he supposes Moody is more experienced and is allowed to use magic. It was just so frustrating and he didn't like it. He'll have to get Dumbledore and Moody back for that, and his coin thankfully agreed that carefully plotted revenge was a must.
It wasn't that he knew what kind of revenge shall begot his tormentors but he'll surely think of something. It's always so depressing at the Dursley's because of their ignorance and hate. He wondered whether he can find some magic to seal Dumbledore under their authority for a few days to see how he likes going hungry and the racist abuse.
He nearly snorted at the thought. It's not just wizards and witches they're racist about, but black people, Pakistani people, Indians, (which is odd as they complain about these 'curry stinkers' and then order it themselves from the local Indian). Then they complain about Orientals, and just foreigners in general, and not to mention all the emigrants taking all of the jobs or whatever.
If they put all of their hate for everyone else, including the neighbours into something productive, the place would be manageable. They gossip with the neighbours about other neighbours and still, they gossip about each other to them too. Seriously, what is wrong with this world or these people?
Though, thinking of that the Magical People are just as bad with their racism. That's not just the purists, but thinking of the Weasley's, Molly Weasley is always calling muggle science rubbish. Picturing the way the muggles are advancing they're bound to notice the world is smaller than it should be eventually.
Then the muggles will investigate, and because of the magical world's arrogance and ignorance they'll be discovered. It really could be only a matter of time with the entire magical world hidden, making the world look smaller than it is. If the magical world wants to stay hidden, he supposes they have to evolve out of this medieval funk they've been in since, well the medieval eras.
Thinking back to his shopping dilemma though, he could probably convince Invisa-Girl to take him but the day before then she told him she has work so won't be able to hang until the following week or something, though Harry's suspicious of that, it sounded like a lame lie, anyway he's impatient.
He's not sure he could wait only to find out she's never coming back because Dumbledore discovered she had taken off her cloak and talked with him, and has been now since he found her. It was near impossible to see if the old man has any reason for not wanting him to have contact with his people.
It felt like Dumbledore liked to segregate him from his people every year. It got him depressed, and honestly made him think about doing some pretty cruel things to his muggle aunt and uncle, but he's never thought about hating them because they're muggles, but because they're evil bastards!
He got a lot of time to think about why Dumbledore does this. It couldn't be because he's safe here. He isn't safe as his uncle had proved over the years with his attacks. It seems more likely that Dumbledore likes taking away all of his hope and then handing it back like it's his to take and give.
Harry had to take some calming breaths after thinking that. He hates the thought, but the more he thinks it the more he believes it. Dumbledore could only have one reason, and that's control. Harry knows that he has done everything Dumbledore had expected of him and more.
The old man pretends that he's trying to protect Harry, but sends him off, unprepared, subject to abuse or evil wanting him dead. The old fool doesn't listen to anyone but himself. The old man must be stopped at some point; he must, for the benefit of everyone's safety.
If the old man continues doing what he's doing the Death Eaters will win, and Voldemort will conquer the magical world, the muggles will then, soon after find out and war will begin the likes that will exterminate magic from the Earth. Though, he doesn't care if the muggles ever find out about the magical world, he would like that to be a peaceful reunion of the days of Camelot and Avalon, or something like that.
He sat up sharply on his bed, flipping his coin, he caught it. "Shall I be the one to stop Dumbledore's crazy schemes?" he asked, opening his hand to find the angel, Destiny, yes.
Harry grinned as he flopped back on his bed as he thought about the money he'll need to go shopping. He has enough to buy some food, if he could get to the shops unimpeded, but nowhere near enough to buy a whole 'wardrobe' of clothes to replace the crap he has to wear ten times too big that belonged to Dudley, his fatty cousin while in the muggle world.
How, he wondered was wearing this crap in the muggle world for anyone's benefit, except, he wondered more. Perhaps Dumbledore doesn't want him to look respectable enough to potentially make any muggle friends. Now he isn't afraid of Dumbledore or his 'family' he could make muggle connections, which could make him happy enough to not care too much about Dumbledore and magical world dangers.
The thought was chilling, but the thought of making muggle friends was nice. He doesn't have any aversion to muggles like the rest of the magical world. In fact, he found them nicer in many respects, such as clothes, and cleanliness. The witches and wizards of the magical world, well in the UK at least are filthy backwards people.
He had always felt a quiver when thinking of the eating establishments in the magical world, and just before his third year of magic school had to spend so long in a 'hotel'. If he owned the place then his cleaners (if there are any) would get the sack.
Flipping his coin again he caught it on Destiny again; he smiled. At least he can now just leave it to Fate, Destiny, and Chance. It will have much better results than any scheme Dumbledore comes up with to ruin his life. Flipping again it landed on the angel.
Harry couldn't help but chuckle as he wondered how he could possibly get some muggle cash or whatever. He would certainly have to get to Gringotts Wizarding Bank. He had no choice but to write a letter to the bank, even though he's certain the old man Dumbledore steals his mail, which is probably some major crime to the goblins, and hopefully as a whole in the magical world.
He'll have to bring that up with the wrinkly little monsters when he gets a chance to see them next. It's obvious now he thinks about it as he has NEVER received ANY fan-mail or presents like he probably should have, so what happens to it all?
He had asked the old man about mail before but he had just smiled and said 'nobody has sent you anything', but even then Harry doubted him, but back then, he was the awesome light wizard Albus Dumbledore. It sounded like a crime not to believe him, but Harry's grown up a lot since being such a foolhardy child.
This thought of money made him wonder. His father's family was supposed to be quite wealthy, and his trust fund is huge, alone. Is there a main vault that he is unaware of? Thinking of that, from what everyone says about his parents is true then they would have left funds to reimburse his guardians, and make sure Harry is taken care of.
He's sure that whatever the truth is, it won't be very nice. The thought of Dumbledore being happy hurting him and then using others to do it so he can have plausible deniability made his blood boil. He didn't need the coins help to know he's going to seriously hurt the old man someday, if not then kill him slowly and painfully.
Harry groaned as he saw what he might soon learn, calming himself down a little. He jumped up from his bed and sat at the rickety desk that Dudley had broken and Harry just about fixed, though admittedly it's still dodgy. He only had a few nails and a broken hammer. He still isn't sure how Dudley broke a steel hammer.
He grabbed a pen and paper as it's so much easier and better to write with compared to a feather and dipping ink. He seriously wondered why mage are averse to using such a genius invention, but waved it off as arrogance and ignorance, but more importantly, jealousy and stupidity.
The Boy-Who-Lived to hate that title wrote out a quick letter to Gringotts, asking whether his guardians are paid from any family money. If they're being paid he is so forcing them to buy him whatever he wants. After all, money like that would hold insurance or something would it not? Insurance to make sure it is used for its intent, and if not returned or whatever, so he'll be able to use that to get Petunia to take him shopping and buy him whatever he wants.
He just hopes that the letter reaches its intended. He knows when Hedwig, his owl, hadn't done the job she was sent on properly. Most times, he suspects that the letter is stolen, read, and if it's nonsense for his friends, sent on as if not read. However, if it's something Dumbledore doesn't want him to send, or read, then it's gone forever no matter how many times Harry might try.
After he finished the letter, placed it in an envelope and tied it to Hedwig's leg, he instructed her to NOT let the letter be taken by a human even if she has to attack them. She nodded her consent and then flew off chirping, happy with her task, and zoomed out of the window.
Harry contently returned to lounging on his bed and inevitably fell asleep. He woke up several hours later, after having a great Tonks dream and woke with a raging boner in his boxer shorts. He had only been wearing them because it was too hot to wear too much. It might be England but they do have the odd scorching week or so in summer.
He was quite sweaty and blurrily looked to his chest. He has some muscle definition from the sports and fighting for his life he does at Hogwarts, but he supposed he could do with more. His glasses were perched on his nose funny, and he pushed them up, but it didn't make his eyesight all that better. He had tried telling the Hogwarts School nurse about his poor glasses.
After all, the glasses aren't prescription, and his Aunt Petunia only bought them for him from the Pound Shop when a teacher mentioned his bad sight. He can only do the things he does so well because of years of having no choice, years of having to, to survive. He only wears these glasses because they're better than nothing.
It was reading he had the worse trouble with, which is why he doesn't do very well at school, and why he's better when given verbal instructions. He's can read, but even with these glasses it's very difficult and he needs the book up in his face. The nurse had just smiled and said for him not to make trouble fibbing, but he could see some semblance of guilt.
So, there's an idea; he'll get his eyes tested or… perhaps the magical world have a simpler way, like glasses that automatically adjust to his eyes. He wouldn't be able to get them himself, but, he flipped his coin and it landed on Fate, the devil, surprising him.
He had thought about getting Hermione, one of his friends to get him some, but she probably would ask Dumbledore about it and he would say no, so who else he wondered.
However, he sat up fast and his boner was gone real quick when he saw Dobby and Winky in his room looking weak, tired, and filthy, but pleased with themselves, staring at him with big black eyes.
"D-Dobby…! Winky…! What the hell?" he asked looking around to see a highly smug Hedwig taking a snack from her owl treat box. How she figured out how to open it he doesn't know but shrugged as he smirked as she had blood on her feathers and talons, and looking to the elves, he may have found his errand runners.
He looked back to his owl; he knew her. She would never get blood on her from small, normal owl prey, but large game. He realized proudly that she actually attacked a human trying to steal her delivery and did a good job of it as she only has some ruffled white feathers and other than that and some human blood looks perfectly fine.
"Harry Potter, sir," Dobby said looking hopeful as he offered up a parchment letter. "We is seeing the Great Harry Potter sirs owl being attacked for her letter sir," he spoke in reverence. "She was fighting these two humans, and we couldn't not help so we is stunning them!" he said excitedly. "Then we help Great Harry Potter sir's owl deliver letter to goblins. We wait we did for reply," he said offering up the letter again.
Harry smiled nervously as he took the letter. "Umm… thanks guys," he replied nervously, feeling a little concerned for their health. "But… what's wrong with you both, you look ill, maybe I should call a vet or something?" he asked wondering whether house-elves go to vets or hospitals or whether most wizards would just throw them away and let them die.
"Oh no Great Harry Potter, sir," Dobby replied with a weak smile. "We is dying because Headmaster will not let us connect to the magic of Hogwarts to become Hogwarts Elves. WE are free. We have been dismissed, and it is great dishonour for wizard to accept House Elves who have been fired, but we is not capable of living without the power of our masters!"
Harry held back from the growl as he slid up and round to sit on his bed he glared at Dobby, the elf flinched. "You should have told me sooner," he said without hesitation. "I Harry James Potter accept both House Elves Dobby and Winky as my elves!"
Both elves went wide-eyed with awe and shock. "You is meaning it?" little Winky asked with tears in her eyes as he nodded yes. "You is greater wizard than any, Dobby says, but Winky had never believed, but now, Winky believes," she whimpered out as swirls of light bound both elves to him.
"You are both exempt from the clothe rule!" was his first order shocking them further. "You are permitted to wear uniforms rather that pillow cases. I want my elves to look respectable after all."
"H-Harry Potter sir is so great," Dobby whimpered as he held Winky. "Winky, we is being looked after and treated good with the Great Harry Potter sir," he said while she nodded in agreement also sobbing.
Harry just quickly opened the letter and hoped their excitement isn't so great they start screwing in front of him or something equally as gross. He read as his new elves watched and frowned as he looked over the statement. It seems he was right and his parents have been giving the Dursley's money. Heck, it was enough that Vernon didn't have to work if he didn't want too.
However, it's obvious these bastards are completely greedy. He'll have to deal with them, and looking at the blurry letter, he turned from it too his elves, smirking as he now has weapons to use against his 'family'.
"Dobby, Winky," Harry said and they straightened up. "Be sure to sort out your uniforms to represent your status as my butler and maid, but first you are to stay out of sight, follow me, and defend me without your magic being detected if I'm in danger, OK?"
"Yes Master!" they both replied together as they disappeared in a white foggy mist.
Harry frowned, intrigued. "Maybe they could teach me how to do that," he muttered to himself but shrugged as he flipped his coin. It obviously thought this was a good idea too, but great minds, if the coin has one or something, whatever.
Therefore, he shrugged and headed downstairs. It's about dinner time, but Harry had found a loophole around Dumbledore's no muggle shopping rule called ordering a takeaway. He wouldn't want to eat with these douche bags even if they did invite him.
He entered the kitchen dinner, smiling, and startled his bony aunt, hippo cousin, and… dinosaur uncle as he walked straight over to the fridge to see what they'll do or say. They stared at him as he just opened the fridge, pulled out a can of orange Fanta, opened it and drank with a smug look on his face, still holding a certain statement.
"What do you think you're doing boy, stealing from us you scrounger!" Vernon bellowed, which reminded Harry more of a dinosaur. Though, really, Harry would much rather the company of dinosaurs, probably better conversations too.
"Stealing huh?" Harry asked with a pleasant smile as he placed down the bank statement on the table. "I always thought I was a worthless good for nothing. However, it seems you get enough from me to quit your fucking job. According to this statement, you're supposed to spend the majority of this money on me, food, clothes, toys, and stuff like that! I so wonder what a lawyer would say in two years time when in the magical world I'll be a legal adult. You'll be paying this back for the rest of your lives including my banks high interest rates!"
"You can't do that," Petunia said angrily. "That money was for us taking you in!"
"You and your bastard husband have referred to me as a burden taking from YOU!" he hissed out his reply in anger. "However, it had been you that's been taking from ME!" he retorted hatefully. "You'll be taking me shopping tomorrow morning, and you'll buy me whatever the fuck I want. If you refuse, I may let slip some of the hateful things you've done over the years to my world's papers, and you know why I'm famous and revered. It could get messy!"
He shrugged smilingly as he turned around and left them to strew in fear. They obviously don't know his world's only real paper is a mess and not on his side, but they're idiots. Though, thinking about it, he flipped his coin and grinned widely as he caught it as he entered his room, two can play plausible deniability, he thought to himself thinking of Dumbledore.
He pet Hedwig with a grin as he wrote a new letter to Gringotts telling them to freeze the guardian funds during the school year, and to decrease it to one tenth, let them see who has the real power in the household. Then he might have mentioned the company his uncle works for, something about wanting it.
He can use his control over money to control the Dursley's, plus his coin said it was a good idea, and he even double checked. Not even Dumbledore can control how much money the Dursley's get. However, Harry can now that he knows about it.
"Sorry, Hedwig, but I need the money by tomorrow morning, and you won't get attacked this way," he said petting his bird as he had also asked for extra muggle money, and wanted it quickly. He turned to the two house elves. "OK, Dobby, I want you to get something's for me. I want you to use magic to pretend to be a muggle and buy one of every different type of muggle glasses, the expensive, stylish ones.
"Then, take them to the magical world to get self-corrective lenses in all of them and any other magical additions they can put in them, OK?" he asked and the elf nodded readily and quickly disappeared. He turned to Winky. "OK, then I want you to go to Gringotts and deliver this letter for me, OK?" she nodded proudly, took the letter and disappeared.
Harry then went to sleep only to wake several hours later, that morning, looking surprised as his bed was now somehow a king size with comfortable covers over him, and looking around. The place was spotlessly clean, and all of the broken things were repaired. However, that wasn't the weird thing; it was the hundreds of black, blue, silver, and other coloured glasses cases stacked up against one wall.
"Does the Great Harry Potter sir like?" Dobby asked as he brought some cases over and gave them to Harry.
He frowned as he pulled out the first pair, surprised that they were actually nice. They're metal framed, coloured black with some thin green lines down the hands. They're rectangle shaped, modern muggle glasses, and placing them on his nose he double took as he had never fully seen Dobby before.
"Whoa, I like," he said, getting the other case to the side, got out of bed and stood up, looking into the fixed mirror on the wardrobe. "Much better, clearer, and wow, what functions do they have?"
"They is having, self-corrective lenses, dust repellent, water repellent, and unbreakable charms, sir," he said excitedly. "They also have some extras sir, like see in the dark charms, and help you see further, but that's all sir, he said glasses don't have enough glass to charm them to see through things, but Dobby says that is not good enough for master, master needs to see through things."
"I don't really Dobby-," he tried to say but the elf was on a roll.
"So, he says he has something," the elf continued gleefully. "Something special, one of a kind, his father made it, but he can never find prints to make any more, but so complicated; he no think he could make it; his dad better than him. I hear stories that his dad was great eye maker, for people, wizards and witches too see, but he make special things, like Mr. Moody eye, but he make, specially!"
Harry looked to the crazy elf, more confused than ever when he lifted up a small square box the size of something you might buy jewellery in. Harry took it from the elf cautiously and opened it. He was surprised that it was a weird yellow coloured glass ball, eerily the same size as an eyeball.
"Umm… Dobby, how much did this cost and did you not realise I'm not missing an eye?" he asked the elf septically
"It cost twenty thousand galleons but it's worth it sir," he said almost causing Harry's heart to stop. This eye in muggle money must be the equivalent of a top of the range all the extras super car. "You don't need to lose an eye sir, it special, you place it over which eye you like, and it bonds."
"Then why did I need all the glasses?" he asked, wondering how much all of them cost, he was willing for that, but this. "Wont this give me back, normal sight?" he asked, looking around, enjoying how much these glasses worked for him.
"Dobby thought of that," he said quickly while shaking his head. "Only get good sight in one eye, other still need glasses," he said sadly.
Harry looked at the weird eye, frowning in thought. "Well, are you sure it's safe?" he asked, concerned.
"Yes sir, Dobby checked the magic," Winky interrupted helpfully.
Harry sighed as he flipped his coin, surprised it landed on Destiny, so he shrugged, pulled off his glasses and paused as he was about to pick up the eye. He looked to his coin thoughtfully.
"OK, Destiny, my left eye, and Fate, my right," he said before flipping the coin and when he caught it he was looking at Fate. "OK, then my right eye it is," he said plucking up the fake eye and sighing as he placed it to his right eye.
He first thought that something was wrong with it when he winced and cried out at the blinding yellow light as the 'eye' slipped into his skull, burning into his real eye; he grit his teeth for a moment before the pain went leaving a mild itch like he would get from too much rubbing.
Blinking in surprise he was surprised as he closed his left eye that his right was crystal clear and he was seeing through the far wall, outside as if it was just an illusion. He concentrated and his vision drew back, somewhat normal, and placing on his glasses his vision was perfect.
"OK, I could get used to this," he said, grinning. "Dobby, you're the greatest," he said, smirking as the elf puffed out his chest with pride, now wearing a blue butler suit while Winky was wearing blue and white maids dress with apron and headdress. He was surprised to see a coat of arms, but it consisted of Fade and Destiny, though covered, entwined like lovers in each other's arms, more like an outline in an upside down triangle.
He shook his head about that and moved to the mirror and groaned. "Well, I suppose I shouldn't have excepted perfection," he muttered to himself as his right eye is now a brilliant and bright yellow with odd pixelation, clashing with his dark emerald eye drastically, but at the same time it seemed to just work.
Then, that's not mentioning his scar had somehow burst open and green and black gunk blood oozed out, like something died, and smelt really, really bad. He grimaced as he turned to the elves while they both looked concerned by his reaction.
"Well, never mind, just pack away all of those spare glasses except for," he picked up a case, looked inside to see some dark lens-glasses. "These I'll keep out," he said placing them on his bedside table. "I need to take a shower, so I'll be back in ten, are the Dursley's up?"
"Yes Master Harry," Winky agreed readily. "They is waiting on you, we hear them complain, they're mean."
"Right, well, I'll be ready soon," he said, grabbing a towel he left the room needing to get rid of the stench of death. It made him quiver thinking about what that could mean, or be, or something.
He took about half hour in the shower and by the time he had finished and wrapped a towel around his waist, looking in the mirror his scar had healed over again, but now it was just a thin line, nothing like before. Shrugging that off as inconsequential he went to his room where the elves had lay out some clothes for him, the best muggle clothes they could find, which wasn't very good.
Looking himself over in the mirror he looked out of the window to see the sun out, blindingly bright and replaced his normal glasses for the transition shades. They're black metal framed too, but more sleek and stylish, like something from Men in Black, (yes he has seen a few movies before, sneakily of course).
He neatened out the rubbish he's wearing a little as he smirked. His new eye wasn't hard to control, more like instinct, or second nature, but he realised he can't use it to look behind him like Moody can use his.
However, add in the eyes zoom features, and the glasses zoom features, and what seems to be anti-glare, and he can see the loveliness of that snob from across the streets teenage daughter while she's fully clothed. It was interesting, as though it was only one eye, if he concentrated hard enough his peripheral vision doubled over the see-through effects.
Now, it was time to get something out of what his 'family' has stolen from him over the years.
He sighed as he showered and dressed before walking downstairs to find Petunia sitting nervous with Dudley looking bored and as if he didn't give a damn about anything. Harry smiled in amusement as he watched them for a moment before his aunt stood up as she noticed him.
"H-Harry," Petunia stuttered out, which made Dudley stand too. "W-we'll be driving into London to get whatever you need. Umm… Dudley needs some new things too, so I thought it wise that he comes with us."
Harry smiled with a nod. "Dobby, Winky!" he said and the two Dursley's gasped as the little monsters wearing a maid and butler outfit appeared. "These two creatures are highly powerful and will seriously harm you if you try to pull any kind of shit! Understand?"
Petunia and Dudley paled as they nodded quickly. "Good," Harry said smilingly as they both disappeared. "My magic as of now can be detected, but theirs cannot!" he said smugly as he led them out front and to Petunia's small three-door car.
She opened the doors, Harry folded the passenger seat forward, and Dudley reluctantly got into the back and Harry in the front. "Buckle up Dudley," Harry said smilingly as he clipped his own belt in.
Dudley fumed as he did as he is told. Harry knew he wouldn't have put his seatbelt on if he wasn't told. The fat git just doesn't get that he could be a danger to Harry or his aunt if they were in an accident. Though, knowing his newly acquired elves, they would probably have rescued Harry quickly enough that it wouldn't matter.
London was busy and Petunia looked like she wanted to cry after several shops. Harry was now dressed in a black suit with shiny shoes, and even black shirt. He had for the first time in his life had his hair professionally done. It's now waves of black messy spikes, and after buying the suit looking in the body length mirror surprised with how good he looks. He had gotten a few other types of suits too, and now Petunia wanted to get Dudley a new suit, so they were off looking around for something.
Harry had also gotten a brand new sport watch that actually cost one hundred and fifty pounds and would have been awesome during that swimming task. He'll have to get it magically modded when he next goes to Diagon Alley.
Harry adjusted his black tie as he smirked. "I can't see you but I know you're there!" he chimed causing a gasp and a hushed voice telling someone to shut up. "Invisa-Girl, you lied to me… and Moody what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked but got no reply. "At least tell me I look great in this outfit."
"You look great…"
"Tonks!" growled the old ex-auror. "Dumbledore's already disappointed that you were caught talking with Potter, and taking your cloak off!"
"So Dumbledore spies on his spies…!" Harry asked rolling his eyes and chuckling. "That's kind of amusing, but then I suppose it's always easier to spy on your own spy," he said laughingly. "Now listen up Moody, no one can say who she can and can't hang out with. If she wants to take the stupid cloak off she can! If you have anything to say about that… I'll," he paused and flipped his coin.
Then he grabbed at Moody's cloak pulling it away and yelled loudly in panic. "Get away from me you weird old man! NO I won't come with you for cookies and milk!" It only took a moment for security to dog pile him and Harry left with his new invisibility cloak. "Constant Vigilance my dear Invisa-Girl," Harry snickered as he could hear her following him.
"He's going to be pissed with you, Harry," Tonks spoke quietly just before they found his aunt eyeing him suspiciously.
The rest of the shopping trip was less entertaining and soon they would arrive back at Privet Drive. Harry was surprised as he picked up that Tonks had entered the house. He took all of his things to his room and let her in before he closed and locked the door.
She threw off her cloak and looked at him with a groan. "I am going to be in so much trouble because of what you did to Moody," she complained sadly. "I mean, sure he deserved to get knocked down a few pegs, but have you ever had to sit through one of Dumbledore's speeches. I think only his fanatics can ever sit through one without wanting to kill them selves!"
"Sorry," he replied sheepishly as he pulled out his brand new lap top computer. He had never had anything like it before, but growing up always wanted one like Dudley has. Its super-slim line and top of the range. He had even bought plenty of books on how it works and stuff. If he has to stay at the Dursley's then he might as well have something fun to do.
"I didn't mean to cause you trouble," he continued shrugging as he started unpacking his new computer. "I'm just… well; my coin said it was OK. Anyway, I don't get what Dumbledore's problem is. Why does he need you hidden? It's just retarded. There can't be any logical answer to it. I think the old man's lost it."
Tonks sighed as she slumped onto his bed, taking a seat as she watched him plug in his new muggle thing and set it on his desk. "Yeah, well when I asked he said its all for the Greater Good, whatever that means."
"It means he doesn't have any real reason," he replied with a shrug as his computer lit up after he found the on button. "Either that or whatever reason he has is so stupid that he doesn't think you'll agree."
She shrugged with a sigh. "I doubt Dumbledore will let me come back after this," she said shaking her head. "I guess I'll get going and see you whenever the old man summons you," she said laughingly as she stood back up.
Harry turned in his chair grinning at her. "And I had hoped you were going to flash me some flesh!" he said teasingly.
She lightly blushed and let out a laugh as she winked. "Maybe next time baby," she said quickly stealing a small kiss before she disappeared under her cloak and the door opened and closed.
He grinned and closed his eyes. He could feel her creeping down the stairs, and soon she was out of the house without incident. He had always wondered about his ability to sense people. If he gets to know them well he can even tell who they are. If he ever told Dumbledore about this trick he's certain he would say it comes from Voldemort, just like he says his parseltongue does. Though, he doubts very much whether either do.
During the next week Harry read a lot about computers and managed to hook his up to the Dursley's wireless network. The internet was barely being used anyway as Dudley seems to like going out and bullying little kids more.
He found all sorts of things. However, he was amazed at all of the rumours around the world about the supernatural, which he realized includes him. It was quite amazing how not-secret the magical world seemed to really be. Though, it was more a conspiracy than anything. However, he found plenty of things like online magic books and correct details about magical creatures.
However, his eyes bugged when he Googled his own name. Heck, he's some kind of freaking myth even amongst the muggles. He had even found a forum dedicated to discussing the possible ways he could have survived the Killing Curse. To be honest, most of them were quite ridiculous.
Though, on one magic related forum there happened across one person who was quite rude and annoying with their assertion that magic doesn't need a focus. After all, a wizard or witch would have had to invent it after discovering their magic. It had taken Harry a while to get her confidence enough to get her to Skype with him. Though, he opened the account under the name Evan Harrison as to not let her believe he's a fraud.
He liked her ideas. She is smart, and the both of them started video calling and talking long about it. It doesn't hurt that she's pretty too. "Evan… there's something I want to tell you," she said with a light blush to her tan checks as they had been talking. "M-magic exists… it really does… I mean… my… I mean… I'm a squib… it means my parents were magic, but I'm not. I was raised by squibs too… my parents didn't want a squib after… you must think I'm crazy."
Harry shook his head smiling at the blonde haired cutie. "Of course not… I'm a wizard," he said shrugging as he drew his wand. "The wand thing is pretty stupid, and I've been practising, but I haven't got anything yet. Who were your parents?"
"I'm not too sure," she said in awe. "I just know there family name is Malfoy."
Harry grimaced which made her give him a weird look. "Sorry, they're just… well… they're a Death Eater family, you're lucky they let you live."
"No!" she gasped out. "Y-you're lying, they can't be. How would you know! You can't be certain!"
"I'm Harry Potter." He just said this and she cut off the link and wouldn't answer his calls before signing off. He tried everything to get back in contact, trying to get her to talk with him but she wouldn't. Well, at least he has that one memory of her flashing him her boobs, but he'll miss her.
He worried about her. Even if she's mad at him he likes her despite the fact he found out she's a Malfoy.