Tag to 3.10 The Debt.

# 2 told you I'd let them go

Her name is Hannah.

Hannah is a sweet, blonde twenty something born and raised in L.A. She had walked up to him on beach two weeks ago and without much further adieu asked him out for drinks. It was probably her straightforward approach and obvious interest in him, that had made him ignore all the reasons why he should have said no (her being a little bit too young for him being one of them). She was fun. She was interested. Easygoing and uncomplicated enough to meet up with on two more occasions.

So even if he knows exactly what led to this current situation, Deeks is a little surprised to now find himself fishing his keys from his jacket pocket while Hannah leans against him, almost purring in his ear.

He tries to ignore the incessant voices in his head, saying something about this being wrong for so many reasons, that he shouldn't even have called her back the day after they first met.

Finally managing to unlock the door and let them into his apartment, Deeks is once again reminded of how long it's been since he did this. There was a time when this was what his weekends looked like but yeah... That's a long time ago. Monty is perched on his usual cushion in the couch and lifts his head upon hearing the commotion by the door.

"Aww, you have a dog! He's adorable!" Hannah gushes as she spots Monty who's still just eyeing the pair, almost skeptically Deeks thinks. Yeah yeah, I know, buddy. It's not your usual Friday snuggle this weekend either. But things are a little bit off with her right now.

As if Monty reads his thoughts, the old dog simply eyes them both before jumping down from the couch and trotting out to the kitchen, ignoring Hannah and showing his disapproval in his own doggy way.

"Don't worry. He's a bit of a grumpy old man sometimes," Deeks says lightly, hoping Hannah doesn't realize exactly how much that is a lie. Because he knows that had his usual Friday dinner company stepped through the door tonight, Monty would be on his back getting his belly scratched by now. Fortunately Hannah doesn't seem to be bothered at all and Deeks lets himself be distracted by the feeling of her lithe body beneath his palms.

Just like on the beach when they first met, Hannah shows what she wants and Deeks finds himself almost relieved by not having to take any initiative tonight. He soon finds himself being dragged by his shirt towards the bedroom. As he works the zipper on Hannah's dress, he absently wonders if she'll notice the fact that there are two toothbrushes in the cup on his sink. And if she will spot the tiny pile of bobby pins and hair ties on the shelf above it.

She doesn't though. Even if she does, she doesn't say anything.

But the next morning, Deeks knows she definitely notices the pair of size 7 bright neon pink running shoes haphazardly strewn by the front door. And she most certainly notices the size 2 velour hoodie draped over the armchair in his living room.

But once again she doesn't say anything. She just gives him a knowing almost rueful look before she leaves. He knows Hannah probably thinks he's just another asshole who just cheated on his girlfriend. But he really can't seem to be bothered by it.

Deeks watches her leave through his kitchen window, feeling a little bit guilty that it really doesn't bother him at all that he most likely won't see her again.

The guilt stays with him throughout the rest of the morning. As he walks Monty and gets ready for work, the nagging feeling somehow morphs into a different kind of guilt. Towards someone else. The kind of guilt that makes him hurry through his morning routine to have time to stop for coffee on his way into work. The only kind of guilt that makes that heavy feeling settle in his chest.

He blatantly ignores the fact that he decides to stop by the coffee shop that just happens to be Kensi's favorite. It means taking a detour but he has time today. He made time today...

He makes sure to get her order right, the right amount of cream and sugar, and tops it all of with a six pack of her favorite donuts.

Twenty minutes later Deeks pulls up outside the Mission and by then he's at least admitted to himself what he's trying to accomplish here. It's an apology. And he knows Kensi will spot an apology coffee when she sees one.

He doesn't even have anything to apologize for. He did his apologizing. Sure, two weeks ago when he had been naive enough to go with Hetty's idea to catch the mole within the LAPD, while thinking his partnership with Kensi would come out unscathed on the other side.

But he had apologized. She had said it was fine. But it hasn't been fine at all since the Fisk op. It's not like it's all awkward silences and avoidance tactics so no one around them has any reason for being suspicious. They're still working seamlessly in the field, the workdays are still filled with banter and their constant competing over... well everything.

But their thing has changed. It's different. As if they have to settle on what it once was and what the Clarence Fisk op did to it. Because there is most definitely a thing now. An outspoken thing.

"What did you do this time?" Kensi greets him as she spots the familiar label on the coffee cups and the size of the accompanying bag. Deeks usually only brings two pastries. Donut for her and something less sweet and fried for himself. Today they're all donuts. Six of them. Meaning they're all for her because he rarely brings breakfast for the boys. Not that Sam would eat them anyway.

"Nothing. Just took the longer route to work. Had some time to kill," he says, praying it comes off causal and not at all like the blatant lie it is. She might be teasing him but that doesn't mean she's noticed that something is off. And that no matter how well she's able to play things off; if he told her, she would most definitely not look at him like she does now, eyeing both him and the donuts with a soft smile on her face. He doesn't know what he would say anyway. That he picked up the first beach bunny available in a desperate attempt to distance himself from Kensi and the complications from the Fisk op? Yeah, that would go down well...

So he keeps quiet and Kensi just eyes him for a moment longer before directing her full attention to the pastry bag. He's off the hook for now.

The guilt doesn't leave him alone though.

It's five days later and they've finally fallen back into their old takeout-and-bad-reality-tv-routine, when Hannah texts him. She tells him to let him know that she doesn't really like cheaters, that she feels sorry for his girlfriend but she had a good time and wonders if she can see him again. Deeks reads the text again and feels even stupider than before. The guilt immediately washes over him. Not for how he left things with Hanna but because he's reminded of that less than a week ago he actually brought someone home with him. It should be fine. Because really, Kensi is just his partner. Right?

He glances at said partner, wearing her pink velour hoodie that she always keeps at his place and can practically hear the voices in his head calling him a liar. Kensi isn't just his partner and this is not fine. He's still feeling guilty for bringing Hannah back to his place. And for some reason he feels like he should really tell Kensi, put the cards on the table just for the sake of it, no more lies. Then he gets frustrated because technically, he hasn't done anything wrong. God, they're complicated. At least he is...

"Deeks, you're staring. It's creepy," she deadpans from her corner on the couch, absently running her hand across Monty's head. The dog hasn't left her side since they arrived back to his place.

Deeks quickly turns away, knowing he's been caught, and reads Hannah's text message for a third time. Kensi's attention is back on the television so he dares glancing at her again. She's sipping one of the beers he'd bought when they left OSP looking awfully comfortable and at home on his couch in her sweats. Like she belongs there.

Deeks quickly deletes the text without answering. Okay, so maybe he and Kensi aren't quite back to normal but they're getting there, because there's simply no other option. There might be some tension and awkwardness left, due to all the unspoken things they almost talked about that will be left unsaid for now.

He's not going to screw up another partnership. And he's definitely not going to do it by dating a woman he's not even interested in.

After all, he's already got plans. He's buying Kensi a beer for the rest of their lives.

Well. How was that? Hopefully not too out of character. Even if they have had their thing since ECO's first episode, I highly doubt they both automatically became celibate so… Yeah. After all, emotional and physical attraction aren't necessarily the same thing and one can exist without the other. Even if that complicates things. Big time.

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