Altar of Sacrifice
From the crossbow, the arrow was unleashed, striking the blue circle right underneath the foam target.
"Whoa, nice shooting, Morgendorffer," Jane said, complimenting Daria.
"Ted's been giving me lessons," Daria replied. "You wouldn't expect someone to be able to learn that precisely from medieval and Renaissance-era manuscripts, but apparently he can."
Both Daria and Jane were hanging out together at Raft College on a Saturday. It also happened to be one of Jane's days off so she had enough free time to be with Daria.
"Good ol' Ted," Jane nodded in approval. "He sounds like a real Renaissance man."
Jane looked at the bleachers. On one of them was a green tennis ball. Suddenly, Jane had an idea.
"Hey Daria, I have an idea," Jane told her friend.
"Hmm?" Daria turned around.
"Think fast," Jane said, casually tossing the ball directly in front of the target that Daria was practicing on.
Reacting appropriately, Daria raised her crossbow and fired. The arrow struck the ball in mid-air and pinned it against the target.
"Wowzers," Jane's eyes widened.
Daria herself seemed a bit surprised she was able to do that.
"Didn't know I had it in me," Daria said drolly. "But then again, I don't really know how I made it through those extra assignments Mr. O'Neill gave me back in Lawndale either."
"Daria, I wasn't expecting to see you here," a new voice entered into the gymnasium.
Daria and Jane turned around to see Amy Barksdale standing there in workout clothes.
"So you must be Daria's aunt," Jane smiled. "I've heard so much about you."
"Pleasure to meet you," Amy greeted Daria's closest frend. "Have you also heard about that time I walked into Daria's room when she was 12 and she—"
"Aunt Amy!" Daria protested out of embarrassment.
"Just messing with you, Daria," Aunt Amy smiled. "Your secret's safe with me."
"So what brings you over here?" asked Daria.
"I'm just here for my daily Yoga routine," replied Amy. "But since you're here, what do you say we get some practice together?"
"Well, can't hurt," Daria agreed, realizing she was already in a t-shirt and gym shorts.
Amy and Daria both got onto the mat as Jane looked on in interest.
Daria was the first to leap into action, trying to grab her aunt by the arm. Amy, on the other hand, twisted her body around, yanking Daria forward. Quickly getting back to stable stance, Daria lunged at Amy again. This time, Amy took Daria by one arm, swerved behind her, and threw her to the floor.
"On second thought, maybe it can," Daria rubbed her back, realizing she hadn't fallen properly.
Jane gave Daria a knowing smile and shrugged as if to tell Daria she couldn't win 'em all.
"Don't worry Daria, you'll get better at this," Amy assured her. "It took me years to get to this level."
"Alright guys," Len Greenberg told Beavis and Butt-head on the phone. "Are you going to be ready for your initiation tonight?"
"What's he saying, Butt-head?" asked Beavis who sat on the side of the couch as Butt-head spoke on the phone.
"Shut up, Beavis!" Butt-head said in irritation.
"Butt-head, did you hear me?" asked Len.
"Uh, loud and clear," Butt-head replied.
"Be sure to show up at eight," Len told them.
"Oh yeah, you said there was going to be a chick there?" asked Butt-head.
"Yes and she'll be all yours," promised Len.
"Cool, huh huh huh."
"Anyways, you know where the meetup is at," Len told them. "I look forward to seeing you boys tonight."
After Len hung up, Butt-head turned to the closest thing he had to a friend in this world.
"Well Beavis, we're finally gonna score," Butt-head chuckled. "Huh huh huh!"
"Yeah, yeah!" Beavis nodded enthusiastically. "After all these years it's finally gonna happen!"
"And McVicker told us we'd graduate too," Butt-head mused. "We get to score and graduate this year, Beavis."
"It's about time that old fartknocker lets us out of school," frowned Beavis. "We should, like, be attending Yale right now or something."
"Uh, are your grades even good enough to make it to Yale?" asked Butt-head.
"Are yours?" demanded Beavis. "Heh heh heh heh heh!"
"Uh, oh yeah," Butt-head realized. "Guess not, huh huh huh!"
Little did Beavis and Butt-head realize, there were two agents in the back of their home monitoring them and spying on them with hearing aids. They also did not realize that their phone had also been tapped.
By the end of her impromptu training session, Daria had been thoroughly exhausted. She sat down on the floor as Aunt Amy got up.
"Well, that was a good session Daria," Amy told her niece.
"Thanks," Daria took Aunt Amy's hand as she extended it, getting back up.
"I've got to head out now," Amy told Daria and Jane. "You two have fun for the rest of the day."
"See you, Aunt Amy," Daria waved.
"Wow, I gotta say I'm impressed," Jane told her friend. "Going for a women's self-defense class like that and learning to shoot from the crossbow."
"I feel like I'm a better shot than I am a Judo expert," Daria admitted.
"Well, some people are just better at some things and… learn more slowly at others?" Jane suggested awkwardly.
"Yeah, you're right," admitted Daria. "After all, it's unrealistic for me to become a black belt overnight."
In her bag, Daria heard the beeping of her cell phone.
"Wonder what that could be?" Daria mused.
She went over to her bag and got it, placing it down on her right side as she sat on the bleachers. Then she took out her cell phone to take a look. On it was a text from Eric asking if she wanted to meet for pizza again the next week.
"Who's it from?" asked Jane.
"Eric," Daria confirmed. "Asking if I want to meet up next week."
"You gonna go for it?" Jane winked.
"Sure, why not," Daria said, texting Eric back in the affirmative.
She set her cell phone down on her left side.
"So you ready to head out?" asked Jane.
"Yup, let's go see if downtown Boston is all that it's cracked up to be," Daria agreed. "But first, let's go back to my dorm so I can get a quick shower."
As Daria got up, she did not realize that she had forgotten to pick up her cell phone and put it back in her bag. Due to being so exhausted from practice with her aunt, her mind was first concentrated on cleaning herself up and then spending a night on the town with Jane.
"Uh, this is the place Beavis," Butt-head stopped at a nearby club downtown.
In front of the two was a nasty looking security guard.
"Pass, please?" the guard gestured.
"We don't need a pass!" Beavis said excitedly. "We're part of the band!"
"What?" the guard glared at Beavis. "There are no bands playing tonight!"
"Uh, yeah there are!" insisted Butt-head. "Buttmunch, huh huh huh!"
"Alright you two!" the guard got mad. "If you don't leave right now, I'm gonna—"
"Excuse me," Lee stepped out of the door. "These guys are with me."
"Oh of course Mr. Greenberg," the guard changed his tone. "Carry on!"
"Come with me, guys," Len beckoned for Beavis and Butt-head.
"So where's that chick?" demanded Beavis. "We wanna score!"
"She's downstairs," Len led the two to a door which led down to the basement area of the club.
The duo followed Len until they reached a spacious basement. There was a table in the center of the room with scented candles and other herbs. A few feet away from the table were several more candles and a statue of a winged lion.
"Uh, this doesn't look like band practice to me," Butt-head commented. "Uh, huh huh huh!"
"Yeah, this kinda looks like my mom's basement," Beavis agreed. "Heh heh heh heh heh!"
"You mean that basement where your mom took all those paying customers?" asked Butt-head.
"Yeah, my mom's a slut," Beavis nodded.
"Uh, huh huh huh!"
"Well, that was nice to know," Len frowned in disgust. "Are you two ready for your initiation?"
"What initiation?" asked Butt-head.
"Your initiation rite to join the Death Apostles of course," Len told them. "Bring her forward!"
From the shadows, several hooded men stepped forward, carrying a struggling girl in their arms.
"Uh, is that Kimberly?" Butt-head squinted his eyes.
"Let go of me!" Kimberly screamed.
The cultists took her and strapped her to the table, pinning down her arms and legs.
"You two know her?" asked Len.
"Yeah, she was in our grade last year but she graduated," Butt-head replied.
"We got held back, heh heh heh!" Beavis chuckled.
"Beavis and Butt-head?!" Kimberly looked at the two. "What the hell are you two doing here?!"
"We found this Kimberly at the local college sorority," Len explained. "She was drunk from a party so naturally, it didn't take much effort to take her to our car."
From the looks of it, Kimberly was now just sober enough to realize the dire predicament she was in as she glanced around in panic.
"What are you going to do with me?" she demanded.
"So, uh, what now?" asked Butt-head.
"Now?" Len stepped forward and handed a knife to Butt-head. "Now she must be sacrificed to our god."
"Wait a second," Beavis frowned. "You want us to kill this chick?"
"Why else did I hand you that knife?" Len gave Beavis an incredulous look. "To cut celery?"
"Uh…" Butt-head walked up to the struggling Kimberly.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Len demanded. "Kill her! Spill her blood for the SUPREME GOD!"
"No way, dude!" Butt-head threw the knife to the ground. "We wanna, like, do it with chicks. Not kill them!"
"What?!" Len was shocked at the refusal of Beavis and Butt-head.
"Yeah, you, like, tricked us or something!" Beavis added. "We were supposed to score, finally!"
"You idiots!" Len screamed. "Do it!"
"No way dillweed!" Beavis shot back.
"If you will not sacrifice her, then you will die with her!" Len growled, motioning for the other five cultists in the room.
The cultists took out their knives and descended upon Beavis and Butt-head menacingly.
"Uh, this sucks," Butt-head backed away with his companion from the cultists.
Without warning, one of the cultists turned around and knocked out another with a punch across the jaw. Quickly, the rogue cultists kicked out the other one with spin kick and knocked out the final cultists with an elbow strike.
"What?!" Len cried out.
The cultist removed his hood to reveal the face of Coach Bradley Buzzcut.
"Whoa, it's Coach Buzzcut!" Beavis exclaimed.
"Beavis and Butt-head," Coach Buzzcut looked at the two in disgust. "If you had gone through with what this guy had asked, both your skulls would be split right now."
"You can't do this to me!" Len took a gun out of his robes. "None of you will be able to stop the SUPREME GOD from returning!"
Moving quickly, Buzzcut step-sided Len, grabbed him, and slammed him into the floor, knocking him out for good.
"That was cool!" Butt-head declared.
At once, the door was kicked open as several FBI agents rushed into apprehend the cultists. Following them was a familiar figure the duo had met in the past.
"Beavis and Butt-head," Agent Flemming said to the duo. "After the incident in DC, I never expected our paths to cross again."
"Heh heh heh heh!"
"Huh huh huh huh!"
Mentally, Daria was cursing herself as she rushed back to the gym. Only after a few hours of hanging out with Jane did she finally realize she had left her cell phone back in the gym.
"Stupid, stupid…" Daria muttered.
Because she had been so tired from practicing with Aunt Amy, Daria had forgotten to put her phone back into her bag after using it briefly for some messages. And in truth, it was not the first time she had done something stupid. Back in her high school days, she had once gotten a belly button piercing in order to try to impress Trent, a former crush of hers from the Lawndale High days. In hindsight, it wasn't one of her wiser moments.
As Daria made it to the gym, she realized it was already dark and well after nine. In truth, she wouldn't even be surprised if the gym doors were closed.
Walking up towards the front entrance, she saw that most of the gym was dark.
"Drats," Daria sighed.
Turning away for a brief second, Daria turned back. In truth, she did not want to take the risk of waiting until morning to try to find the phone in the lost-and-found. What if somebody stole it as soon as they found it?
Turning back, Daria walked towards the gym and tried to open a few of the doors. To her disappointment, the doors she pressed on were locked. However, Daria then remembered there was a back entrance.
Walking around the building, Daria found the back door where some students came in through.
"Here goes nothing," Daria sighed, pushing at the door.
To her surprise, it opened. It was the only door in the building which wasn't locked.
"Simple in-and-out mission," Daria said to herself. "Nothing more. Nothing less."
Though the halls were darkened, Daria still recognized her way. She knew exactly where to go to attempt to retrieve her phone.
After walking down the halls and taking a left, she went up to the main gymnasium where she and Aunt Amy had practiced earlier.
Opening the door, Daria looked around, squinting to try to see in the dark. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something on the bleachers. It had a bright green light flashing. Normally, Daria's cell phone had that same green light going off when she had calls or messages.
Daria breathed a sigh of relief and went over to pick up her cell phone.
Seeing as it was already on low power, Daria turned it off. Just as she did, however, she heard a few footsteps.
In all likelihood, it was a janitor. However, Daria didn't want to risk the chance of getting caught so she quickly hid under the bleacher and kept quiet to see who it was.
As soon as the door opened, she saw a dark figure come in. From behind the doors, however, there was some light in the hallways that briefly illuminated his face to expose him. Fortunately for Daria, her hiding place under the bleachers was pitch-black.
"Have you been able to secure the targets?" asked a second man who entered into the room.
Daria blinked. The figure who had just entered was dressed in white robes. At once she realized she was dealing with the campus killer.
"Yes I have, High Priest Moloch," said the other figure.
That voice sounded familiar. It was distinct voice which could only have come from—
"Excellent, Graham," the figure called Moloch replied. "Our sacrifices begin tomorrow!"
Daria bit down on her teeth. Now Graham was involved with the serial killer on campus? It was almost too much to bear. And to think he kept trying to talk to her in a pushy manner. Quietly, Daria thanked her Aunt for giving her those women's self-defense lessons.
"I have the sacrificial victims ready," Graham promised. "They're girls from a neighboring college. And this is a big city where people go missing all the time so…"
"They will not be missed," High Priest Moloch finished for Graham.
Daria gasped upon hearing that.
"What was that?!" the masked man growled.
"What was what?" Graham asked in a panic.
"I heard something," Moloch snarled. "And it came from those bleachers."
Methodically, the shrouded figure walked towards the bleachers as Daria was frozen in fear. Just what would she do now? Most certainly just a few short days of self-defense lessons wouldn't be able to do the trick.
Suddenly, from the shadows there was movement. High Priest Moloch stopped as a small mouse ran out from under the bleachers.
"Aaaahhh!" Graham screamed as the mouse ran near him.
"Hmph, just a mouse," Moloch walked away from the bleachers where Daria was hiding under.
"The sacrifices are ready for your inspection," Graham told him. "Ready to see them?"
"Yes, let us depart," Moloch agreed.
Daria listened intently as the two of them walked away. The further and further away their footsteps sounded, the more relieved she was.
Finally, she let out a breath of sheer reprieve that she was now safe.
"Uh, hey Kimberly," Butt-head went up to the girl who was sitting near a police car with a blanket around her and a hot chocolate in her lap.
"Beavis," Kimberly looked up. "Butt-head."
"So, like, you wanna hang out after this?" asked Beavis.
At first, Kimberly was a bit taken aback by the audacity of the pair to ask her out after such a traumatic affair. However, she did remember how they saved her life by refusing to sacrifice her on the spot.
"Look guys," Kimberly told them as gently as she could. "Thanks for not killing me back there. But right now, after everything that's happened, dating is going to be the last thing on my mind for a while."
"Oh, uh, okay," Butt-head said dejectedly.
The two of them walked away from Kimberly back to the direction where Buzzcut and Agent Flemming were talking.
"Well, at least she didn't tell us to get the hell away from her this time," Beavis told his friend.
"Uh, oh yeah," Butt-head remembered. "Uh, huh huh huh!"
"Beavis and Butt-head," Agent Flemming faced the two. "Since you two were instrumental in foiling this cult, I think you've earned the right to hear what's going on."
"Whoa, cool!" Beavis said excitedly.
"For the past few years, this cult known as the Death Apostles has been on the rise," Flemming explained. "They came out of seemingly nowhere and before we knew it, they had split off into different branches in almost all the major cities in this country and even some towns such as Highland."
"So they're like the 700 Club?" asked Beavis. "Heh heh heh heh heh!"
"Uh, huh huh huh!"
"They've gone on multiple sprees of kidnapping and murder," Agent Flemming went on. "Their most common M.O. is to sacrifice victims upon an altar. We're not even fully sure what they believe or worship because every time we capture some of them, they usually stay silent and end up dead the next day in their cells. Your coach, Mr. Buzzcut, has been helping me infiltrate this organization for a while."
"Even I didn't find out much," Buzzcut admitted. "Newer members don't get all the information that the higher-ups in this organization get."
"I want to thank you boys for your good work," Flemming said to the two as Buzzcut crossed his arms angrily. "You really helped us out here."
As the two older men walked off to discuss more private details, Beavis and Butt-head looked at each other blankly.
"Uh, hey Beavis, I think I've got it!" Butt-head. "If we, like, save more chicks from these cult dudes, they'll start putting out for us!"
"I dunno Butt-head," Beavis said skeptically. "Didn't Kimberly just tell us she didn't want to do it after we saved her?"
Angrily, Butt-head slapped Beavis.
"Damn it, Beavis!" Butt-head said angrily. "Do you wanna score or not?"
"Ow," Beavis muttered. "Um, okay. Worth a try I guess…"
"Let's go bust more of these cult dudes!" Butt-head pointed to the stars in the sky.
"Yeah, let's bust 'em! Bust 'em!" Beavis screamed as he followed his companion down the streets as the stars shined brightly above them.