He was perfect. He pick me up on time, talk to my father with confidence and never said anything too embarrassing about either of us. We drive to her house and everyone is already there and ready to take picture. He offers his arm to help me walk; I accept. I meet his parents and I hope they don't think I'm a crazy person. I wanted to impress them. We take all types of pictures with the masks and without; single, couple, and group. He always has his hand on my waist. I feel confident and pretty; I was with this beautiful man and he hadn't abandoned me! I was happy.
The limo arrives, and we giggle at the unfortunate event of the drivers fly being down. Then, after more picture and my father driving by to check on us, we cram into the limo. I sat down first and he followed after being shoved by his buddy and sat next to me. He offered to switch seats when I had trouble with the turns but i just shook my head and joked that I didn't want to break up the bromance. He smiles; his smile is like walking on the beach to me. Just when the sun is rising and no one is around; it's quiet beauty. How could I be this lucky?
We talk and he takes a picture of us, posting it on snapchat. I groan because I think I look terrible. He says I look great, but he deletes it and takes one I am comfortable with. He makes sure to add me as well, sending a picture of me mid laugh. I send one back of him doing the smolder look he always does as his "sexy face". We laugh and talk to the rest of the people in the limo until we arrive. The line is already long and we head over. I wave to some of my other friends in line smiling and trying not to blush as they wag their eyebrows.
We had come as friends; nothing more.
We talk in line some more and get kinda cut off from our group; soon we're back together and walking to our table that one of their friends saved for us. My other friends had saved us seats at their table but I declined and made my way to where everyone was at. He pulls out my chair for me and we all sit and talk for a little more until we all decide to get some food. He lets me go in front of him because I had complained at how hungry I was on the ride up. I flushed at how he remembered something so stupid. He sees one of his friends and goes over to said hello. I ask if I should get a salad thinking it was my best friend who was behind us. I turn and he's there smiling; I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack. They both say no but I end up getting some anyway want to have something green.
We all eat and then decide to take pictures. He holds my waist and I feel almost like a queen. By the time the pictures are over the music has been playing so after we girls drop off our shoes we head inside to start dancing. We dance to a slow dance. I asked why he asked me to prom. "You've always been there for me. Since freshmen year. You've always been such a good friend to me." I felt my heart fall a little at the word friend. But if that is what he needed from me then I could do that. I could do that...right? "Then i meet amanda and she always just seemed so mean." I don't know why he felt the need to bring her up, maybe I brought up bad memories along with the good. He talked about how he was nervous about making friends at school and I told him anyone would be lucky to be friends with him. The song ended and we went back to the group. I left a few times to dance with other people and he always looked for me afterwards. My best friend pulled me aside and told me how it wasn't cool that I kept doing that. I didn't think that through so when we headed home I planned to apologize.
We kept dancing, took photos in the photo booth, and went back to dancing. It was good. The last song played and we went back to the table to grab our things. He went off to say goodbye and I went to get him before we left. He wrapped his arm around my waist and we just talked about the dance until we got to the limo. We all piled in and opened the sparkling cider, sharing it around. I shared mine with him.
At one point he noticed i was cold and took off his jacket and draped it over my legs and shoulders and wrapped his arm around me. I was at first just happy to be warm and then I realized that he was holding me and smiled softly. At one point I was resting my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder, just so tired. He saw the jacket sliding off my leg and pulled it back over my knee but kept his hand there. I was going to die. We stayed like that and I was half asleep when we got back to the house. My best friend poked me and I moved closer to him. He tightened his arm around me and pulled me closer, moving his hand to my other knee. "We're here. You need to wake up." I opened my eyes and apologized.
We walked inside and got some popcorn going and the boys went to get changed, while we borrowed some clothes and changed after the boys. We decided to put on a movie after they talked about their graduation parties (that we weren't invited to).
He asked me to sit next to him after his bubby nudged his arm. We watched it and people start to head home until it's just me and him on the couch. He had been moving his hand closer and closer during the movie and he finally put his hand on my knee and moved his head on my shoulder. I laughed at how cute he was when tired and brushed back his hair, then leaned my head on his. We watched the movie some more like that until someone sat next to him again, then he straightened up. Maybe he just didn't want people to get the wrong impression. We're only friends after all.
It didn't dull the sting, though.
After that he drove us home and said "see around, good luck at college." and he was gone. So we just walked to the door. I don't know why I thought it would be fun to do this. Now it just feels like my heart is a rock in my chest. "Good luck at college." Might as well have said "Yeah, don't want to talk to you again bc it's weird that you have a major crush on me." Maybe it would have been better if I had said no...maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was….my heart hurts.
I go to sleep. I wake up and wish it was just a faraway dream bc then I could move on. How do I move on from this?
How do I fix a broken heart?
But...I don't blame him. Bc...I just want him to be happy. He was perfect; and he will always be to my broken heart.