I'm Alive! Sorry for taking so long, but the chapter is super long so I hope that makes up for it! Thanks to everyone who read and favorited, and thank you to those who commented, you guys rock! I hope you guys like it!


"I lost my entire life there Di, not just Jess, but my whole life. I- I just need some time, ok?"

Sam's voice echoed in my ear as I slammed my hand on the roof of the car. Didn't she realize I had anything but time? Of course she didn't, because I still hadn't told her.

I leaned my head against the cool metal, and then yanked open the door. The stress and pressure of it all was overwhelming, and I was sick of it.

I drove to the nearest bar I could find, my eyes tired from reading and researching. I was tired of trying to find a way to keep me from going to hell, what I did is done. We should try to figure out the apocalypse instead, I was one person, not worth the world.

I slid in to the well worn bar stool slapping down a few crinkled dollars for whiskey. Right now, all I wanted to do was get drunk. I wasn't even sure if it would work, I drank so much I was surprised that I was still living on these kidneys. Shot after shot went down my throat, till the bartender told me I had drunk an entire bottle, and to get lost. I knew I was being stupid. A hunter should never get drunk if they could help it, and they should never actually TRY to get drunk, that would get you killed. Yet here I was, and not even an entire bottle could get me totally drunk anymore. I left my bar stool, nearly collapsing when I tried to stand. So maybe he was right to kick me out before I drank more. I wasn't even to badly drunk, considering. I slowly walked out of the bar, nearly falling over when a hand caught my elbow. I turned to see a golden haired fellow in a leather coat, with intense grey eyes. I was too tired to resist as he drew me out of the bar and opened the passenger door to the Impala, setting me inside.

"Who the hell are you?" I mumbled, my gaze blurred his face, but I could see the concern crinkling the corner of his eyes.

"No one to you. Not yet." I squinted at him, trying to see his face clearly. "What the hell does that mean?" He sighed and shook his head "It means that you shouldn't drink on the job, Dianna"

I played cool and 'interested' through the alarm bells in my head, Batting my eyelashes I asked "Well, well, stranger. How exactly do you know my name?" he pulled my car keys out of my pocket, going around to the drivers side. "I know it because I have been keeping an eye on you, making sure you don't do something irrational. Like getting yourself completely drunk. Also, why are you trying to seduce me? I thought you had better judgment than to flirt with strangers."

I dropped the act in surprise as he started the car, driving away from the bar towards Bobby's house. I leaned back, fingering my knife under my jacket,trying to figure out three things,

1. Who is he?

2. What does he want?

3. Why have I not kicked him out, killed or maimed him yet?

"You know, you're not going to remember this in the morning." My head jerked up at his voice and I replied testily "Why not?"

"I have calculated that with the amount of alcohol in your system, most of your memories would be blurred. I will still have to clear your memories, though."

"Why? If I'm gonna be to drunk to remember anyway, why not leave them?" His big grey eyes met mine, "Because Dianna, I'm not supposed to be involved at all. Not until later at least."

"Involved? What the hell! And no, thank you very much, I happen to want all my memories! Drink addled as they might be!"

He just shook his head and sighed driving in silence, till he was about to turn into Bobby's drive. I grabbed the wheel and jerked it back onto the road, making him nearly hit a tree. He turned to me "What the hell! Do you have a death wish? Do you want to go to hell today!" he shouted

"Maybe I do!" I yelled back, "Maybe all I want is to be done! Done with the demons and monsters and a girl from the future! Maybe I want to get so drunk so I can at least not remember the bodies, or the faces that I didn't save! Maybe I'm not good enough for Sam! Maybe I'm not enough for my Dad! Maybe hell's where I belong!" I tore open the door and stalked down the road, away from the dude in the car and away from my problems. The air was chilly and I was still wobbling as I walked. I heard the Impala's engine a few minuets later, but I kept walking, I was in no mood to sit next to him again. He pulled ahead of me when he saw I was ignoring him, which was mostly because I was mad at myself. For spilling all my secrets to a stranger, and I was even more mad that he was right. I was drinking on the job, and that was the most idiotic thing you could do.

He was leaning against the impala, and I marched past him without a word. I had no clue to where I might be going, but for now I was walking. He caught up with me easily and we walked in silence until he asked "You don't tell the truth often do you?" I shook my head, not meeting his eyes "And you don't ever tell Sam, if you can help it, not even about what your father did." I looked up at his hair as he continued. "And you will never tell her the truth about where you really got money for food, why you had that pretty dress in your bag." his voice chilled and the back of my neck prickled. But I couldn't get angry, I only felt shame settle like a scarf on my shoulders. "I couldn't let her go hungry you know, and poker wasn't enough sometimes. I had no choice." I rasped out, my voice tired. "I never wanted to be a-" he cut me off with two words "I know" turning me to face him. "I know. But I don't understand. How could a father do that to his child? Make them fend for themselves when they were 16 and 12? Even a father as bad as John Win-" It was my turn to cut him off "Stop right there. He wasn't perfect, but who is? He was my father, and I was never good enough for him. Not the other way around."

I angrily wiped my eyes hating how emotional I was, when I realized, "What is it about you? You have made me spill my soul to you, and I don't even know your name. And for all I know, your some sort of demon that is going to kill me... or not, it wouldn't be the first time" I managed to crack a smile thinking of snarky Meg.

He gave me a confused glance "I am no demon, and as for you telling me all your secrets... Well, my family often has that effect."

"Is that also why I'm not falling over dead drunk? I was curious."

He chuckled shaking his head

"No, that is all you. How you do it though, is beyond me."

I nodded, and he asked "Who do you mean, when you say girl from the future, who is it?

"Nope, Not telling. Who knows what you could do with that information, it's better that no one knows, not even me. Even if the world was in the balance, I think that only one person should know the end."

His eyes turned cold and calculating, and I could feel power radiate off of him, causing me to take a few steps back. I tripped and fell down, but I still tried to back up, the raw power making my skin start to burn.

I grabbed my knife hilt, sliding it out of its sheath, I knew in the pit of me that if I fought him, I would not be the victor. He glanced at me, and his face changed "I'm sorry." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes "You're right, the world could fall down around us." The power receded, and I slowly let out a breath. "I would give anything to know what happens, but I have to believe that is kept from us for a reason." He knelt, meeting my eyes and holding my gaze, and he reached out a hand. I looked deeper into his eyes, the wall of steel that covered his soul, and I saw hurt, fight, and desperation, desperation for something to end a fight that hurt him in every way possible. I saw the same thing when I looked in the mirror, but his eyes were tired and full of anguish that had worn him down for years. They were old eyes- no, they were older than that, they were almost infinite years in number, things seen that no one else had seen.

I took the outstretched hand, but I pulled him down next to me instead of standing.

"So what do you need to know about the future?"

He smiled, looking at the stars "I want to know what everyone wants to know, I want to see how it ends"

"Why try to see how it ends when you could see how to make it better?"

He stilled, and turned to me "All the years I have been alive, learning everything I could, you humans still amaze me. Questions asked for millennia are somehow answered by a child, who saw the world in a different light." he shook his head slowly "It's like the saying: Wisdom from the mouth of babes. I have never once thought of it like that"

He was still shaking his head from amazement when he stood, dusting himself off. We walked to the Impala, then drove into Bobby's. The house was dark when we parked, and we sat in the car for a while, until he got out and walked to my side of the car. He opened the door and knelt, placing his hands on the sides of my head. I pulled away, but the hands stayed. "No, don't. I wont tell a soul." I pleaded, "I don't even know your name" He gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes "I have to, so please don't make it harder. But I vow, on the pearl gates of heaven, that when the time comes, I will return these memories to you." I stopped trying to get away, but I still begged "Please don't. I can't lose any more." He sighed, but his hands never left, and his eyes closed in concentration "Wait!" I yelped and he looked at me in question "Take this" I said, handing him a bracelet with a single charm on it. The charm was the letter 'M' with a single diamond in it. "Just have me remember that I gave it to someone that I would trust with my life. Got it? If you give me this, I will follow you to the moon and back." He hesitated, but he slipped it on his wrist, fingering the letter 'M' with a small smile closing his eyes once again. The last thing I saw was the gold bracelet gleaming in the moonlight.


When I found Dianna asleep in the impala, whiskey on her breath, I decided that I wasn't going to deal with it. My guess was that she had played some poker, got drunk, and managed to not wreck on the way here. She was hiding something from me, or she would have had her whiskey here. I hated when she hid things from me, It always meant something bad, like someone died on a hunt. I felt bitter that she had such regimented ways of dealing with life, Problem? Deal with it. Party? Live it. Monster? Kill it. Sam? Lie to her.

She was the poster child for perfect machine. I hated that I couldn't bury myself like that, you could read me like a book. And Dianna? Forget reading your face like a book, she could read a persons very soul like. I stalked off, getting ready for a jog. Maybe that would help me blow off steam

The hammering of my feet on pavement did help losen the tightness in my chest. The shower after was better, it gave me time to think. I had been cold to Di and Bobby lately, shutting them out whenever I could. I had lost my life to my past, for the second time in my life. My future had burnt up with Jess on the ceiling. Yeah, I was getting over it, but it still hurt so much.

Bobby and I had already had breakfast when Dianna stumbled in, squinting in the light, rubbing her arm. Mom's bracelet was gone from her wrist, which was strange. She would have panicked if something had happened to it, and I had never seen It leave her wrist. But she didn't seem worried, which twisted in my gut. She had never let me touch it.

"Where's your bracelet? Or did you manage lose it in a game of poker?"

I wondered why she looked hurt when I realized I had said the spiteful words out loud. I looked at my hands, what had I become? Is this what I become when I snap? I scooted back from the table, leaving the room without meeting her eyes. I grabbed the keys to one of Bobby's tow trucks, settling into the faded leather seat before driving into town. If I was gonna be a monster, then at least my family wouldn't have to deal with it.

I parked outside the local coffee shop, taking slow, deep breaths. Hating every part of myself for being like this, I walked in. I ordered a black coffee from a cute barista with twinkling eyes and a mischievous smile. I couldn't help but give a wavering smile as I watched him make the drink, constantly joking with his co-workers. It was evident he was the favorite out of them. He handed me my drink with a wink, popping off to help the next person. He was kinda short, but his boundless confidence made people not notice. I sat in a corner, warming my hands on the paper cup, almost not noticing that instead of my name he had written 'Tall cute chick'

I chuckled when I saw, and looked back towards him only to meet his eyes. I ducked my head, blushing to the tips of my ears.

I didn't meet his eyes as I sipped my drink, earthy notes of flavor over my tongue, these people knew how to make coffee.

The shop was in an old hotel, with with wooden Victorian pillars holding up the loft style seating area. I sat under the darkly stained stairs to the second floor, hiding me from prying eyes, and giving me some privacy. I settled back into my chair, reading 'The Great Gatsby' as an excuse to linger over this ridiculously good coffee. I got wrapped up in the story, love, intrigue, and betrayal. When I looked up again an hour or two had passed, and the little shop had hit a lull in their work. They were leaning against the counter laughing at a vivid story that the barista was telling

"-So my foot's totally stuck in there right, I'm freaking out, the dog's having a seizure and I still have half a pie left." I smiled as the story went on to its conclusion and I tried to cover my laugh pretending to read the book. I watched the little group as I laughed, and he caught my eye again, and his smile grew wider but he finished the story. I looked away again but kept listening to them joke, forcing my eyes onto the book. This is what I needed today, something to brighten the gloom. I heard a small thump and looked up to see him sitting across from me. His name tag said 'Gabe' in gold letters, and it shimmered as he pushed a fresh cup of coffee towards me.

"On the house" he announced, grinning at me. I picked it up and said "Thanks, uh, Gabe" before taking a sip. It was like a whole world of sweet and flavorful had somehow been put in coffee. It was overwhelming. I had to blink a couple of times to clear my head "That was... Wow..." He put his hands up in victory "Another satisfied customer!" I took another sip before asking "So, do you write flirtations on everyone's cups, or am I the only lucky one?"

"Well, I have done it a couple of times, but you could be the last if you play your cards right." I choked on my drink at that one "Hold up there, cowboy. I'm a wine her and dine her kinda girl, it's you that will have to play the cards right."

"Awesome, I'll see you at six. I'll pick you up." He got up and added "Wear something casual!" I gaped after him "But you don't even know where I'm staying..." He turned and winked, laughing at my expression as he went into the back.

I slid into the old truck, coffee in hand, Someone had asked me on a date and tricked me into saying what I liked. How much weirder can my life get?

Well, well, well, What is going on here? This is quite the unexpected turn of events! I hope you liked my longest chapter yet, and thanks again for reviewing and liking!