A/N: Sorry this took so long. Hope you like it!

Hermione left the pub in a hurry, dashing to the convenience shop down the street, and under the overhang as it started to rain. Suffice to say, her date with Thomas from Wiltshire had not gone well. He'd seemed nice enough on the app. Smart, funny, kind. The second they had met for drinks, though ... he had revealed to Hermione his true colours.

First, his photographs on the app were astoundingly out of date.

Second, he'd jokingly used the word Mudblood within seconds of meeting her.

Third, he genuinely could not have made it more obvious that he'd only asked her out hoping, in turn, that she would introduce him to Luna.

I can't believe I shaved above the knee for him, Hermione thought to herself in disbelief, pulling her phone out specifically to block his number.

Her face twisted in disgust when she saw that she had an eMatchic notification. If Thomas thinks I'm ever going to talk to him again … Exhaling deeply, she punched in her passcode, and opened the app, a quick tug in her chest when she saw a different name than she had expected.

From: Draco Malfoy


She wasn't sure what to make of that.

For whatever reason, they'd gone three days without saying a word to each other. It was a bit odd that he'd message her so casually like this, but she figured there wasn't much to it. Perhaps he'd just been busy.

Popping into the convenience shop, she typed a response.

From: Hermione Granger


Within seconds he replied.

From: Draco Malfoy

How's your night?

She made her way to the back of the shop, the door chimes growing quiet as she nodded hello to the owner.

From: Hermione Granger

It could be better.

She figured there was no point in trying to pretend she was having a good night.

It wasn't particularly bad by any means. She still had that container of ice cream, and a full bottle of wine at home. Not to mention a few new books to read in the bath. Within an hour at the most, she was sure that she was going to forget all about Thomas from Wiltshire.

From: Draco Malfoy

Have they run out of your favourite Quills at Scribbulus Writing Implements?

She snorted.

From: Hermione Granger

I order my Quills from Sweden now, thanks very much.

From: Draco Malfoy


So, what's got you in a mood then?

From: Hermione Granger

I wouldn't say I'm in a mood.

I just … didn't have the best time on my eMatchic date tonight.

From: Draco Malfoy

Ahh. That explains it.

There was a flicker of curiosity in her eyes.

From: Hermione Granger

What do you mean?

From: Draco Malfoy

Well, you've always been remarkably bad at dating, haven't you?

Snorting, she typed the first thing that came to mind.

From: Hermione Granger

That's funny coming from the bloke who thought it wise to date two girls, both in Slytherin and both in the same group of friends, at the same time, assuming they'd never find out.

From: Draco Malfoy

To be fair, I wasn't officially dating either of them.

From: Hermione Granger

What were you doing?

From: Draco Malfoy

What do you think? lol

She rolled her eyes.

From: Hermione Granger

Okay, so why am I remarkably bad at dating then?

From: Draco Malfoy

Ron Weasley.

That's all I'm going to say.

Her lips twitched into a smirk.

From: Hermione Granger

Well, if you're so good at dating, why are you on eMatchic?

From: Draco Malfoy

I could ask you the same question.

From: Hermione Granger

You could but you won't.

From: Draco Malfoy

Why's that?

From: Hermione Granger

The answer might scare you.

Consciously lifting her gaze after, she grabbed a few things from the shelves. Drinks, snacks, etc. It was only as she made her way to the front, waiting behind an elderly man, that she dared check the app for a reply.

From: Draco Malfoy

Nothing scares me.

Apart from the idea of waking up as a ferret, of course.

She chuckled to herself.

From: Hermione Granger

Well, I'm not looking for a relationship if that answers your question.

There was a tingling sensation along her fingertips as she pressed send.

Without waiting for a response, she glanced ahead, nodding hello to the shop owner and paying for her things in the seconds that followed.

Much to her relief, she'd managed to grab a cab rather quickly afterward.

Climbing into the backseat, she gave the driver her address, and buckled in, her attention shifting slowly to her phone as she felt it vibrate inside her coat.

Her cheeks flooded with heat as she read the message.

From: Draco Malfoy

Unless you're looking for someone to knit with, I can name at least a dozen different men and women who would free climb the highest peak of the tallest mountain in the world if they could fuck you once they reached the top.

Hovering on the edge of that, she chewed on her bottom lip in thought, quietly typing a response in the backseat of the cab as the surrounding buildings and city lights blended together.

From: Hermione Granger

That's too bad for them.

I prefer the top for myself, actually.

She immediately flipped her phone over after, laughing to herself in quiet disbelief over what she had just said.

And to whom.

Only as the driver pulled up to the curb of her building, accepting her payment and wishing her a good evening as she climbed out, did Malfoy respond.

From: Draco Malfoy

I'm sure they'd prefer you that way as well.

From: Hermione Granger

Which way?

From: Draco Malfoy

Top, bottom, left, right.

Whichever way you like, Imposter.

She smirked.

From: Hermione Granger

I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, Ferret.

Hurrying up to her flat, she murmured a quick Alohomora under her breath, and kicked her shoes off at the front door, eyes glued to her phone as she made her way to the kitchen.

From: Draco Malfoy

How specific?

From: Hermione Granger

Make me believe it.

Quickly and without missing a beat, Hermione poured herself a glass of wine, taking to the living room as Malfoy replied.

From: Draco Malfoy

If given the chance, I'm sure any number of those people would give you a night you wouldn't soon forget.

Press you up against the back shelf of the Ministry archives, perhaps.

Spread you across the growing stack of case files on your desk.

Take you to the café in your photo and convey every sinful thing they want do to you in just one look.

Whisper it in your ear on the ride home.

Kiss you senseless the second you walk through the door.

Tear through the buttons on your top and grab handfuls of your perfectly shaped breasts.

Unhook your bra so fast, it's if you never had it on in the first place.

Tease your nipples until they're flushed and tender.

Slide a hand down your body.

Tug your knickers to the side and lick you out the way they said they were going to in the cab.

Keep going even after you come.

Stop only when you beg them.

Carry you to the couch where you're sitting right now and fix a watchful, attentive look on you as you tug and yank at and unbutton every layer of clothing they have on.

Run their hands through the roots of your hair as you climb on, straddling them on the couch, driving them mad with how sexy you are.

Mark your neck as you finally push down on them, taking in every inch so fast you lose your bearings for a second.

Give you a good, proper fuck.

Hermione simply blinked, her wine glass slipping an inch through her fingers as she sat there, on the very couch that came to mind in the details he'd painted for her.

Reading the last line again, she felt something tingle down below.

There was no point in checking.

She already knew she was … aroused.

By the fifth line, she'd nearly bit a hole through her bottom lip.

How is any of this happening right now?

Knocking back the rest of her wine, she gulped it all down, anxiously looking to her phone as he added one last thing.

From: Draco Malfoy

That's what they would do to you, Imposter.

I, on the other hand, would prefer we knit.

Her mouth fell open.

A/N: lmao