Xander pulled the cover off the cage, revealing a small, furry, brown and white creature to the teens. A small furry creature that bore a definite resemblance to an animatronic in a famous 80's movie.

"The thick brown fur over his lip makes it look like he has a Burt Reynolds style mustache," Beast Boy noted, breaking the silence in the dimly lit lab.

"It's a Mogwai," Starfire said in disbelief.

"I wonder if the movie Gremlins was based on a true story," Robin said thoughtfully, already planning on searching for disasters that had either been covered up or fallen through the cracks.

"We don't know that it's a Mogwai, just that it resembles one," Cyborg corrected them. "We'll need to run some tests to be sure."

"Glass of water," Xander said cheerfully, handing a full glass of water to Beast Boy.

"No!" the rest of the Teen Titans cried out, already seeing the disaster this would cause.

Unfortunately the screams of the four startled the green skinned shapeshifter, causing him to throw the glass of water up into the air.

The superheroes watched in horror as the glass tumbled in midair, flinging its contents into the small furred being, knocking it to the floor of its cage.

"Ahhh!" the little creature squealed as if in pain while a dozen small balls of fur popped off it with the sound of popcorn popping, their tiny size letting them fly right out of the cage.

"This is bad," Raven said as the tiny balls of fur unfolded themselves, growing in size, until they all resembled variations of the creature inside the cage.

"Quick, catch them!" Robin ordered.

"Sealing the lab!" Cyborg called out as all the possible exits to his lab slammed shut.

Xander watched as the team sprang into action, scooping up the adorable little bundles of chaos and holding them tightly. "I think we've got confirmation on them being Mogwais now," he offered cheerfully.

The five superheroes, arms filled with the brown and white furred little creatures, just turned and stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" Xander asked, trying to sound as clueless as possible.

"This is a disaster," Cyborg moaned.

"No, this is a marketing opportunity," Xander disagreed.

"Marketing opportunity?" Robin asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Xander said. "If you thought the show about meerkats was popular, imagine setting up a little colony of these babies!"

"You are far too amused," Raven said, eyes narrowing as she unconsciously cuddled the two Mogwai in her arms.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Xander asked. "Your guy's reactions to harmless little Mogwais are hilarious!"

"Harmless little... oh," Beast Boy said in understanding as he examined the little brown and white creatures he was holding.

"What am I missing?" Cyborg asked.

"Gremlins are dangerous, Mogwais are simply cute," Raven said.

"Oh, yeah," Cyborg said as they all calmed down," as long as you don't turn them into gremlins they're safe."

"Sorry about this, guys," Beast Boy apologized.

"Why did you give Beast Boy a glass of water?" Robin asked Xander.

Xander shrugged. "I figured we'd get it out of the way."

"Get it out of... Yeah, this was totally going to happen," Beast Boy admitted.

"They are very much of the cute, but also contain danger," Starfire cautioned, wondering how her prank had turned out this way.

"You are far too amused," Robin said thoughtfully, as he examined Xander, echoing Raven's earlier statement.

"Moi?" Xander replied, pretending to be shocked.

Robin sighed. "I'd forgotten how divergent your use of Plastic Man's power set was." He dropped the Mogwai he was holding, which bounced like rubber balls.

The teens dropped the Mogwai one by one, watching them bounce and giggle.

"You can do the split off thing," Beast Boy said with a groan. "I can't believe we didn't see that!"

Xander laughed and reabsorbed the furry little muppets until only the one in the cage remained.

"Tadah!" Burt called out, waving the little cowboy hat he pulled out from behind his back.

"Why?" Robin asked in confusion.

Xander placed a hand on Robin's shoulder and looked him dead in the eye. "Because it was funny, no more, no less." He stepped back and grinned. "It was fairly obvious early on that the odds of us just being in the right place at the right time to find a Mogwai was ridiculous. Seriously, this is the type of thing you kick up to the League to handle, since a world wide search is the only way to be sure, so I decided to have a little fun with it."

"Is this a bad time to mention I was also playing in the pranking?" Starfire asked nervously.

"You were pranking us?" Beast Boy asked in disbelief.

"Yes, you have been made the fool," she said with a grin.

"Good one, Star," Cyborg said, clapping her on the back. "We didn't even see it coming."

"I don't know how you managed to keep a straight... face?" Beast Boy finished, confused. "How come Raven didn't pick it up?" he asked.

"I hid my emotions," Starfire said brightly.

"Your powers are an expression of your emotions, of course you'd have the emotional control to pull it off," Xander realized. "And here I thought you were serious about Mogwais existing."

"Oh, I was," Starfire said, "or at least something of similar design created by the Psions, but then the Psions created so many things that it's hard not to watch the movies of horror and not compare it to one of their experiments."

"Creatures that perish in sunlight aren't exactly a problem for people who can throw bolts of concentrated sunlight," Xander said.

"Or any other advanced species," Starfire added. "The Spider Guild kept them on farms for their meat and fur before a plague wiped out their supply. They have offered a very large reward and to not eat the one collecting it for a live specimen, that is how I know they are extinct."

"But you cling to Robin during horror movies," Beast Boy pointed out.

Starfire smiled brightly. "Yes, it is an excellent excuse."

"Except for the Alien movies," Cyborg noted. "You laugh anytime you see a Xenomorph."

Starfire giggled. "I know it is a horrible thing to laugh at, but the creatures the Psions created that most match that-" she burst out laughing.

"Dude, I can't see how you can find facehuggers funny," Beast Boy said, "they made me give up eggs for a week!"

"Facehugger!" Starfire exclaimed and laughed so hard she clutched her stomach.

Robin waited until Starfire had recovered before asking," How are Facehuggers amusing?"

"Because the Psions create living weapons in a more logical manner and interfering in the breathing of the creature who is to be an incubator risks its death, not to mention it requiring a longer route to reach the abdomen," she explained.

"Longer route..." Xander's voice trailed off for a moment before his eyes widened. "You mean..."

"Yes, they are very much a butt hugger!" Starfire agreed, bursting out laughing.

"That is possibly even more horrifying," Raven said with a shudder.

Starfire nodded. "Yes, we refer to them as screamers, because of the reaction it causes to those who get implanted with one. I know it is a horrible thing... but just the idea of someone being stupid enough to stick their face near one..."

"Ouch," Xander said with a wince, "talk about being fucked."

"Literally," Cyborg agreed.

"Let's change the subject to something less horrifying," Beast Boy suggested, trying hard not to grab his own rear.

"I want more music," Raven said suddenly, seemingly as surprised by what she'd said as everyone else.

"More music?" Xander asked.

"Um... yeah," Raven agreed, embarrassed. "We didn't catch your whole set."

Xander nodded and turned to Cyborg. "Think we can create a bunch of instruments so I can give it the full effect?"

Cyborg grinned. "My right arm turns into a sonic cannon. What do you think?"

"Excellent, I can take the forms of the entire band, it'll be awesome," Xander said excitedly.

Several songs later...

"Dude, you missed your calling," Beast Boy said as the final notes of The Ballad of (Barry Allen) faded out.

"I wouldn't call pirating music a calling, but it is a fun hobby," Xander said. "My calling is chaos and I think I'm doing alright."

"I thought you were trying to be less of the Richard," Starfire said.

"Less of the-" Xander laughed. "Different meaning of the word, and chaos doesn't mean just the bad stuff. Life, freedom, creating a dinosaur theme park using cloning... all of these things are chaotic, whether they are good or not is up to the people involved."

"Are you planning on making a dinosaur petting zoo?" Raven asked dryly.

"I'll call it Jurassic Park," Xander said, positive he could do a much better job than the idiots in the movie.

"That sounds incredibly dangerous," Robin said.

"No more dangerous than most zoos," Xander disagreed. "Listen, as long as you keep the people out of the exhibits you're fine. If you want to see a dangerous zoo, ask Superman to see the one in his Fortress of Solitude. He has a Starro in there. A Starro!"

"What's a Starro?" Beast Boy asked.

"A world conqueror," Xander said. "It looks like a large starfish with an eyeball, but it does the whole facehugger thing and controls the host."

"Why would Superman keep something like that in his zoo?" Raven asked.

Xander shrugged. "I think he just swept up all the random alien life he found on Earth so he didn't feel so lonely or so he could pretend he was lonely. He had a serious emo phase early on."

"Does he know it's a world conqueror?" Cyborg asked.

Xander considered the question. "Maybe?"

"This sounds like something you should ask him about," Starfire suggested.

"This is going to be an awkward conversation," Xander said with a sigh and then slowly began to grin, "but not for me!"

"You're not going to tell him?" Beast Boy guessed.

"Oh, I totally am," Xander said, pulling out his cellphone and dialing in a number. "Hey, it's Lex... Of course I have this number... Listen, I did a bit of plotting and scheming and things of that nature against you guys for years, did you really believe I wouldn't have the number for the monitor room?... No, I did not call to gloat, I called to give you guys a heads up on a world ending threat... No, this is not a ransom call. Listen, do you want the information or should we just let the disaster happen and I'll tell you I told you so later?... Fine." Xander hung up the phone and put it away.

"I tried, you heard me," Xander said. "I'll just let Supes know the next time I run into him."

"I'll send word to Batman to call you," Robin decided.

"That'll work," Xander agreed. "Since there hasn't been a problem with Superman's personal zoo so far, it's probably safe for another day or two."

"How is chaos a calling?" Raven asked.

"Haven't you been paying attention?" Beast Boy asked her. "He's like, super good at it."

"Just because you're good at something doesn't make it your calling," Robin said. "I excel at acrobatics, but my calling is crime fighting."

"Or both could be your calling but you only answered one," Cyborg pointed out.

"Back to chaos as a calling," Raven requested.

Xander shrugged. "I'm super good at it. I'll even brag a little and admit I once broke a prophecy to save a friend's life when I was younger."

"You broke a prophecy?" Raven asked in shock.

"Yep, it said my friend would die and I decided 'fuck that prophecy."

"Sometimes fighting a prophecy just makes it come true," Raven argued. "You run and find you're where it needs you to be to come true."

Xander nodded. "You just have to be smarter than a handful of lines on a page and not panic. For instance, anything that requires someone to turn a certain age on a certain date can easily be broken."

The teens scratched their heads and tried to figure that one out.

"Cryogenics?" Cyborg suggested.

"That may work, but then so could boosting their aging rate or stopping it all together," Xander agreed.

"What? Killing them?" Beast Boy asked with a frown.

"Time manipulation or magic," Xander told him. "There is no one single way to break a prophecy... there are dozens! You just have to be willing to try."

"How would you prevent someone from turning eighteen on a specific date?" Raven asked intently.

"Time travel," Xander replied. "I'd pick them up, move them a couple of centuries or so into the future for a week, so they turned eighteen there and then return them a week after their birthday here to be doubly sure."

"Do you have a time machine?" Beast Boy asked.

"Not yet," Xander replied, making Raven sigh heavily. He moved over to one side of the lab and began clearing a large space. "Of course the good thing about time travel is that it doesn't really matter when you discover it."

Everyone watched as he stared at the empty section of lab expectantly.

"What are we waiting for?" Beast Boy asked after nearly a minute of silence.

Xander turned back to them with a frown. "Me making a fool of myself apparently."

A series of spinning metal rings surrounding what looked like a seventeenth century buggy appeared in the air behind Xander with another Xander at the controls.

"You know I was almost positive this would work," Xander complained.

"And it did," Future-Xander agreed. "Sorry I'm late, I had to stop to pee."

Xander spun around. "That makes no sense and we went with HG Well's design?"

"If you can build a Victorian era steampunk time machine, you should always build a Victorian era steampunk time machine," F-Xander said firmly.

"Fair enough," Xander agreed.

"Raven, hop aboard my time machine and let's travel to the far future... where I have made an exact duplicate of the local mall with time accurate contents so you don't contaminate the time stream when you return with future knowledge," F-Xander said.

"Whoa!" Beast Boy yelled, throwing his hands up. "Hold up! Why have we gone from talking about prophecy and chaos and jumped to time travel?!"

"There's a prophecy about me..." Raven trailed off. "When I turn eighteen in a couple of days..."

"Big bada boom," F-Xander said. "Rae's father is a major demon lord that created her for the sole purpose of invading this dimension. She's been searching for a way to void that prophecy since she was a child."

"So this works then?" Xander asked, gesturing towards the time machine.

"I wouldn't be here otherwise," F-Xander said.

"Excellent," Xander said. "Raven, go pack a bag for a week's vacation and remember to bring your magic meditation mirror."

"I'll do that," Raven said, looking very relieved before she was swallowed by her shadow and phased through the floor.

F-Xander turned to Xander. "Guess who has to impersonate her for a week so the bad guys have no clue she's gone? Oh, and Beast Boy."

"Plastic Man?" Xander joked.

"I don't think he'd be able to pull it off," F-Xander said. "He'd be too distracted playing with his breasts."

"Point," Xander conceded.

"So... why do I need to go along?" Beast Boy asked. "Not that I'll complain about a week long vacation with Rae."

"Because Raven has been set up to be a virgin sacrifice, created for the sole purpose of ripping open the walls separating our world from hell," F-Xander said solemnly.

Xander nodded. "So if worse comes to worse, to save the world... you are going to have to stab Rae... with your penis!"

"What?!" the Titans exploded.

"What part of virgin sacrifice is unclear?" F-Xander asked.

"Her powers keep her from getting close to people by design," Xander pointed out.

"Confucious say 'Prophecy of virgin sacrifice like balloon,'" F-Xander said.

"One prick... all gone," Xander agreed.

"That's up to Raven," Beast Boy said, blushing so hard he turned purple.

"What's up to me?" Raven asked as she phased through the floor.

"Using Beast Boy's penis to void the prophecy," F-Xander said cheerfully.

"Beast Boy's..." her voice trailed off and then she face palmed. "That's why my powers work the way they do, to keep people away."

"Exactly," F-Xander said, "So while in the future if you want to make doubly sure the prophecy is broken..."

Raven nodded. "If it's far enough that I have more control... I'll actually be able to get close to him without hurting him."

"We'll have him shapeshift into a Czarnian," F-Xander suggested, "strong as Superman, no special weaknesses to magic, and I'm told Lobo actually has the stamina to back up his bragging."

"You don't... mind?" Beast Boy asked Raven nervously.

"Get in the time machine," the blushing half demon told the green skinned shapeshifter, who instantly turned into a hummingbird and zipped into the time machine.

"And with that done, we'll see you in a week," F-Xander said, waving Raven aboard next to Beast Boy.

"Not going to share any future knowledge?" Cyborg asked, surprised.

"What's the first rule of time traveling?" Xander asked.

"Don't plant your own family tree," F-Xander said firmly. At everyone's look he explained, "No sex in the past. Don't turn a great pair of breasts into a paradox."

"Second rule," Xander corrected himself.

"Don't," F-Xander answered. "Don't change anything, you'll only make it worse."

"But aren't you changing things here?" Robin asked.

F-Xander nodded as the three settled into the steampunk looking time machine. "I'm a huge hypocrite."

There wasn't even a flash of light to mark their departure.

"And I'm okay with that," Xander said before splitting into two bodies and shifting into a copy of Raven and Beast Boy.

"I could really go for some pizza," 'Raven' said as 'Beast Boy' turned into a bright green hamster and situated himself directly in her cleavage.

"This is going to be a strange week," Cyborg said, "I can tell."

Beta by: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows

Typing by: Abyssal Angel

TN: Wow. Starfire's sense of humor is... kinda F'ed. o_o

TN2: Oh yeah! I remember the episode with that starfish thing! Man that was super F'ed... Like imagine a Goa'uld that can control you by just touching you instead of needing to actually burrow into your skin and interface with your nervous system. Sure, that's body horror, which is extra horrifying, but a Goa'uld that can just mind control you with a touch? It could hide in your shoe, and then suddenly you're the backseat passenger to an evil megalomaniac! At least normally you can armor your neck and be safe. Only thing worse is if you give a Goa'uld a wand and teach it how to cast Imperio. Long distance mind control... ugh.

TN3: "I'll just let Supes know the next time I run into him." Uhhh, Xander, if Supes is already under control of the giant starfish, you realize that could provoke Superman into attacking you, right? 8/