AN:Don't ask me where in the name of God this came from, but I don't pass up inspiration when it comes knocking at my door. Trust me, this tops the ridiculous charts at a solid 10. But be that as it may, it's a new chapter. Enjoy…or don't. Or just be confused by the overwhelming stupidity of this. I don't own DBZ or the ChiChian language. Just my idiotic mini story.
The Language of Son ChiChi
It was a lovely day at Capsule Corporation…and everywhere else as well. Well, maybe there were some places in the world where it wasn't a lovely day. Like maybe there were monsoons in the rain forest in Brazil and stuff, or maybe there was snow falling in Iowa, as it was prone to do. But anyway, we don't care about that. We just care that it was a nice, sunny day at Capsule Corp. Even if it wasn't a nice day everywhere else in the world.
A very odd looking group of people had assembled in the gardens of Capsule Corporation on this lovely day. Namely, a small cluster of Saiyans, the last of their kind.
One day, Vegeta had woken up and walked outside to find a few familiar faces standing in his backyard. His own father was among them. Vegeta was extremely confused as to how five of his long dead Saiyan brethren had managed to appear in his yard. But truth be told, they were confused too. They'd been dead for, what, forty years? Ish? It didn't make sense to anyone, but nobody pushed the issue. The proper precautions had been taken to ensure the continued safety of the planet Earth from these newly revived fighters. Namely, Bulma had written up a contract, and they had each signed it in their own blood. But that was just standard procedure, of course.
So now, Goku and Vegeta were getting reacquainted with Radditz, Nappa, Turles, Bardock, and Vegeta, King of all Saiyans. Goku was privately lamenting the fact that now he had to put up with two of those guys. Two Vegetas with identical attitudes. Ayiyiyi…
But anyway, as they sat outside on this lovely day (which sadly didn't extend to the whole world), shooting the breeze, a formidable form appeared in the doorway.
"Goku!" ChiChi stormed outside.
All the Saiyans cringed, having already learned of the unbelievable power of this Earthling female. Radditz and Nappa had already had run-ins with the Sacred Frying Pan of Terror, and it was an experience that would haunt their nightmares forever. Radditz had been a victim when ChiChi had learned that it was he who had kidnapped Gohan the first time Goku had died. Nappa had been thwacked because he didn't seem to understand the premise of a doorknob, and because of it, Bulma's house was now sporting yet another hole in the wall.
In fact, ChiChi had just interrupted their plans to form a Frying Pan Support Group, to provide help for men caught in similar situations to theirs. Men held powerless by their pan-wielding wives.
But anyway, she stormed out into the sunlight and stood over her husband. The pan was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't mean she didn't have it. She had a knack for pulling it out of nowhere, after all.
Goku jumped to his feet. "Yes, dear?"
Vegeta leaned over to his fellow Saiyans. "I'll translate while she talks, if no one minds."
"Goku, I need to talk to you about your son."
"Listen up, Kakarott. Your son is doing something I don't like, and you're going to do something about it, or else you will pay."
"I'm sure you've noticed that Gohan's not a baby anymore."
"The kid is turning out more and more like you, and I'm going to get you for it."
"And you've definitely noticed that he and Videl are getting a lot closer."
"Even you aren't dumb enough to miss that they've bonded."
"I really think they would make a great couple."
"I want my grandchildren NOW!"
"So I was wondering if you could maybe talk to him, father to son, and see if you can get him to at least ask her out or something."
"I want you to go play matchmaker for a hormone-driven Super Saiyan teenager and his future mate and see what happens."
"I'd really appreciate it."
"If you get ripped to shreds, it's not my fault."
Goku swallowed hard at this point. "Are you sure you want me to do it?"
"If you want me dead, there are easier ways. Why not just gather the Dragonballs and wish Frieza and Cell back to life. Then give them both immortality or something."
"Yes, I'm very sure."
"Argue and die, puny male scum."
"Well…if you really want me to try…"
"Kill me. Someone. Anyone. Feel free to shoot me."
"I know he'll listen to you."
"You are so whipped."
"Okay…I'll see what I can do."
"I am so dead."
"Oh, thank you, sweetie!"
"I win. You lose. Sucker! Don't mess with the pan."
ChiChi withdrew to the house, and Goku dropped back to his seat on the ground. As soon as the door had closed behind her, Vegeta asked, "So, how close was I?"
"I didn't realize you'd learned her language so well," Goku replied with a sighed.
AN: I have no idea where I got this from. Just felt like writing something really stupid, perhaps? I dunno. At the very least, I hope I earned a raised eyebrow or something. THIS IS ME BEING STUPID!!! Hopefully, my next one will actually have some sort of a plot. Until then, ciao!