Chapter 1


Iris West got out of her car, and stared at the huge building. She was so nervous, but excited at the same time.

"Uh oh, I think trouble just came to NYU."

Iris spun around at the familiar voice.

Her whole face lit up and she grinned. "Barry Allen!"

Barry was grinning too. "Get over here, West!" He said affectionately.

Iris just laughed and ran into his arms, she squealed as he lifted her up and spun her around. "Bear!" She giggled happily.

Barry put her down after a few seconds, and looked at her. "Wow, I haven't seen you in like.."

"A year," Iris supplied. "I know, it's been forever. How are you, Bear?"

"I'm doing great," Barry responded, his whole face showing just how happy he was. "Collage is great. I'm majoring in criminology."

"Oh, yeah?" Iris smiled. "You still thinking of forensics?"

"Absolutely." Barry grinned. "So, how about you? How are you doing, Iris?"

"I'm good," Iris replied, trying her best to mean it.

Wait. She did mean it.

Why wouldn't I be doing good? Iris asked herself confused. It's like when Barry showed up something inside of her clicked. It was made known to her that maybe she wasn't doing as well as she'd told herself she was.

Barry took a second to look at her, the shock and happiness of seeing each other had worn off, and he could now read her like he always used to.

"No, I don't think you are." Barry noticed. "You look...different."

Iris laughed. "Well, it has been awhile since you've seen me Barry. Of course, I look different. I'm a little older,"

"No," Barry shook his head. "it's more than that. You look like you've been through some kind of epic battle." She really did too. He noticed that she looked like something had happened to just take the carefree-ness right out of her.

Iris sighed. He always could read her like a book. She should've known better than to expect to enroll in collage where he's at, and not have him see this.

"I uh..." Iris chuckled nervously to hide the anxiety she was feeling at spilling this to him. "So, I got pregnant.."

Barry's eyes widened. "What?! You got pregnant?!" He looked her over, she didn't appear to be carrying any extra weight. "Who is it?" His eyes suddenly changed from shocked to angry. A part of him wanted to be supportive but the bigger part of him was very protective of her. "Who did this to you?"

"Bear," Iris sighed. He had always been protective of her. "I haven't told you the rest."

"Who got you pregnant?!" Barry demanded. "Because I will hunt him down and kick his ass for screwing up your whole future like this."

Iris sighed, as she once again tried to tell him. "My future's not screwed up." She whispered.

"Maybe not yet!" Barry snapped. "Have you thought about how hard this is going to be for you? The morning sickness, the extra weight, swelling of your legs...and oh, yeah! How the hell are you gonna take your classes in between this ball of fun?!"

She felt tears enter her eyes. This was exactly why she'd never told him to begin with. She lost her patience, and just blurted it out. "I'm not pregnant!"

"What?!" Barry furrowed his brow. "Iris, you just told me you were. Look, I know I'm coming down kind of hard on you here and it's just cause I love you. You are an amazing girl and I'm pissed at whoever did this to you!"

"I'm not anymore, Barry!" Iris yelled, a couple tears rolling down her face.

He stared at her, still not fully comprehending what she was trying to tell him. "Okay? Did this happen last year or something?" He saw the tears in her eyes, and felt his heart break. "Oh, you gave it up, didn't you? I'm sorry, I didn't meant to upset yo-"

"I didn't give her up, Bear." Iris whispered through her tears. "That's so not what happened."

"Oh," Barry said quietly. "You had an abortion?" He would never judge her but that just didn't sound like her. The girl he'd known believed in life far too much for that.

"No!" Iris snapped. She ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "Jesus, Bear I would never do that in a million years!"

Barry took a step back not wanting to hurt or anger her further. "Ok, I'm sorry." He said sincerely. "I'm so sorry, Iris. I…what happened then?" The minute he asked he wished he could take it back.

What do you think happened, Allen? He asked himself angrily. There was only one more option and it made him feel horrible for his best friend.

She just glared at him harshly. "I lost her, Barry. Ok?"

The color drained from Barry's face as he finally got what she'd been trying to tell him. "Oh." He said quietly. "You mean..."

Iris nodded. "Yeah," She whispered. "I had a miscarriage."

"Jesus, Iris." Barry whispered. He felt like a complete ass for the way he'd acted. "I'm so sorry."

She shrugged, blinking back tears, trying to make light of it like she always did. "I was too young anyway..."

"That doesn't matter," Barry responded firmly with a shake of his head. "you carried her inside of you. It had to of hurt like hell when you lost her."

Iris didn't know if it was those words, or Barry's kind face staring at her in deep concern that caused her to burst into tears, but no matter what it was, she did. "Bear," She cried.

Barry immediately took her into his arms, not even questioning it. It's what he always did whenever she got upset. She was his absolute best friend on the face of this earth, he loved her more than he's ever loved anybody. "C'mere, babe."

She clung to him, as she completely fell apart in his arms. "Bear, I miss her so much."

Barry gently stroked her hair, as he continued to hold her in a tight and protective embrace. "Of course, you do." He gently placed a kiss against her hair. "Oh, Iris." He murmured quietly. "Why didn't you call me? I told you when I went away, that I was always a phone call away. I would've come back in a minute if I knew something like this was going on with you."

"I know," Iris croaked against him. "I knew that if I called and told you I was pregnant, you'd go ballistic."

Barry closed his eyes tightly, before reopening them. The shame in them apparent. "And I didn't disappoint you, did I?"

Iris shook her head against him. "And I knew that if I called you to tell you that my baby was dead, you'd be even more pissed that I didn't tell you. I couldn't deal with that."

"I'm sorry, Iris." Barry quietly whispered against her ear. "I'm so sorry you felt you couldn't come to me when you needed to."

She pulled back, her face tear-stained and she cracked a small smile. Barry could tell it was forced though. "I'm sorry for getting your shirt all wet."

"I don't care about a stupid shirt when my best friend in the whole world is hurting." Barry responded firmly. "And you really don't have to do that with me, you know."

"Do what?" Iris asked.

"Pretend like you're fine, when you're not." At her surprised look, he continued on. "You can't honestly think you could come here, see me and not expect me to realize that you're hurting. I've known you forever. You may be able to fool your parents...fool anyone in the world, but you could never fool me." Barry pointed a teasing finger at her. "I know you better than you know yourself, West."

Iris laughed. "Is that so?"

Barry nodded. "Uh-huh. So, not that I'm not beyond thrilled that you're going to the same collage as me, but why are you here?" His brow furrowed in confusion. "I thought you got into Harvard? From your letters, you went on about how your scores were off the charts. You were so excited about it too."

Her face fell as he reminded her about plans she'd had for her life before it all got so crazy. "Oh, yeah...change of plans."

"Okay? Well, what ch-?" Before Barry could grill her further, they were interrupted by a voice.

"Hey, Iris!" A young guy yelled.

He did not sound happy Barry noted.

"Get over here now! You're missing registration!"

Barry gave Iris a concerned yet, bewildered look. "Friend of yours?"

"Boyfriend," She admitted, wincing at her boyfriend's loud angry voice. "We enrolled here together."

Barry nodded his head, more than a little hurt that she'd never told him she had someone special in her life. He just chalked the hurt up to slight jealousy that maybe she'd replace him as her best friend or something. "Uh-huh. He uh...he seems pretty pissed."

"Oh, that's nothing." Iris shrugged, shaking it off. "He's just experiencing some anxiety. It's a change."

Barry merely nodded again, not really believing that. "Right."

"His name is Eddie Thawne." She continued, as she threw what Barry could tell was a forced fake smile of happiness to Eddie. "Be right there, babe!"

Barry's eyes widened, and looked more concerned than before. "Um...not trying to tell you what to do, but fyi, he doesn't have a very good rep."

"Who does anymore?" Iris retorted defensively. "I had and lost a baby at seventeen."

Barry sighed. "Iris, he's really not boyfriend material. He's not the kind of guy you should be with. He's not the kind of guy that you want. Hell, he's not the kind of guy that I want for you."

Her eyes hardened and she glared at Barry. "Who died and made you my keeper?" She shot harshly.

He looked at her hurt. "Iris, I wasn't implying that I…"

"Eddie loves me." Iris interrupted him firmly.

In fact, she'd said so firmly that Barry wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.

"Iris!" Eddie yelled. "Seriously, what the fuck?! Get over here!"

And now he was making a scene. The last thing she wanted infront of Barry. "I should go," She said quietly.

"You know what? Maybe I should talk to him." Barry replied, already disliking the guy. He would've disliked anybody who talked to Iris like that. She was the guy's girlfriend, not his slave. "He has no right to talk to you that way."

Iris quickly grabbed his arm. "Bear, please." Her eyes bore into his, pleading. "Don't make a scene, alright? I told you it's nothing. Let it go."

Barry nodded reluctantly. "Okay, for you." He told her. "But if I ever see that guy mistreat you in any sort of way, I swear I will..."

"Kick his ass, right?" Iris supplied amused and touched at his protectiveness of her.

Barry nodded with a small smile and a hint of anger. "Damn right."

She just merely smiled again, before turning away.

"Hey, Iris?" Barry called after her.

Iris turned around, the smile still on her face. "Yeah, Bear?"

"Don't be a stranger, alright? Now that you're here, and I'm here...I want you to know that you can come to me if you ever need me." He told her. "I love you, Iris. I'm always here."

She smiled even bigger. "Thanks, Bear. I love you too."

"IRIS!" Eddie screamed. "FUCKING THIS YEAR!"

The impact of it, caused Iris to slightly flinch. It also sparked a hint of anger in her, as she snapped back. "I'll be over when I'm ready! Just chill out, Eddie!"

For a brief moment Barry caught the look in Eddie's eyes and it sent immediate warning bells into his system. This guy was trouble and was no good for his best friend. "Iris, are you sure you don't-?"

Her eyes went soft once again as she looked at Barry. "I told you, I'm fine. I'll see you around, Barry." She than turned around and ran over to where a pissed off Eddie Thawne stood.

"Yeah, you bet." Barry said softly, as he stared at Iris and Eddie.

He watched as they started screaming at each other. They were both screaming obscenities and Eddie was doing most of it.

One thing was for sure, he'd definitely be keeping an eye on Eddie Thawne.

He didn't trust that guy with his best friend as far as he could throw him.


"What the fuck were you doing over there, Iris?!"

She sighed. She knew she should've just ran over here sooner. Now Eddie was all pissed off.

"I was talking with an old friend." Iris replied lowly. She really hated when he made spectacles like this.

He shot daggers at her. "Why?"

She started to feel some of the anger from before come back. "Maybe because I felt like it." She rolled her eyes and turned away from him. "Geez, Eddie.."

Iris suddenly felt her arm get grabbed very painfully by Eddie. "Ow!" She yelled. "Eddie, let go of me now!"

He tightened his grip and she whimpered as he got right up in her face. "When I'm talking to you, you don't just turn away!" He raged at her, practically shaking her as he got in her face. "You got that?!"

She nodded, tears entering her eyes. "Eddie, please..." She whimpered. "You're hurting me."

"Good!" Eddie yelled, as he yanked her even closer to him. "Maybe that's what you need. It's the only way you ever fucking listen to me anymore!"

"I'm sorry," Iris cried, tears rolling down her face. "I'm sorry, Eddie."

His face was menacing. "You better be fucking sorry,"

Suddenly Eddie was torn away from Iris and was violently thrown to the ground.

She looked over and her face crumpled at who she saw. "Barry.."

Iris put a hand over her mouth. She was beyond humiliated. She never wanted Barry to know about any of the stuff that went on with her and Eddie. She knew how weak she must look to him right now, it was as weak as she felt.

Barry shot Eddie (who was still on the ground) a look that could kill. "You better not ever put your fucking hands on my best friend like that again, or I'll show you sorry." His eyes were dark with rage. "I'll fucking kill you."