Malik against the World

Ch. 1: Malik vs. the Conditioner

IceAngelDarkMoon & GuardGirlKT

~~~~~~~~~~~~This story has been thought about for a long time, and then written in pieces for a long time, but I think it is finally time now for the world to read about the daily fights of Malik and his Yami. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. I would like to thank my good friend who helped right this and come up with all the fights with me (we find many common things to fight!) She was the first and only friend that knows I write and has supported me along the way. Thanks GGKT! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*********This story may get a little weird and almost pathetically silly, but just remember, we were the ones who somehow found inspiration to write this! We own the story plot and whatever the characters become. WE DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!!!!!! Don't sue we don't have anything! And flames will be used to toast marshmallows, yummy!*********

There may and probable and most likely will be shonen-ai. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, LEAVE NOW!!

GGKT's Flame Notice: If you want to flame- go ahead- Ice won't mind and my house is kind of cold…. Plus people…really …no one is actually making you read this… If you really think I can act on you mind, it must be feeble, or incredibly stupid. In which case you should check out your nearest mental institution. Where you won't have a computer and won't be able to flame! (Ice- HEHE I swear the men in the whit suits are your friends and the hug yourself jackets are a real fashion statement!)


It was an ordinary day with an ordinary shower, or so it seemed. Yami Malik had been calm and normal (well only somewhat, he is never normal, and we love him for that!) until the new conditioner. It was called Aussie Land (we don't own this either, but it really works for your hair!). The bottle had a kangaroo on it, smiling in a weird and utterly evil way. Yami Malik knew it was pure evil, almost more evil than a drunken toon Pegasus (scary! But GGKT wanted this there, it's all her fault! Yikes ducks GGKT's upper cut!). He had to get is innocent….. ok well not that innocent hikari away from that evil 'thing'. As Malik reached out of the shower to grab his conditioner Yami Malik snatched it away from his light. Malik looked adorably confused (we own this saying!) and Malik looked at his light pointedly. He then turned and pointed to the TV which was now showing an Herbal Essence (don't own this either!) commercial with Duke in it (he's got the urge…. The urge to herbal….)

"Why can't you use that stuff?" Yami Malik asked still holding the evil substance hostage from his hikari.

"Great Ra Yami! (I've always wanted to say that!!) It's not my fault; Isis won't buy anything without a coupon." Malik exclaimed and then glanced down at his still naked body and blushed. "Get out of the bathroom Yami, you pervert!" Malik squeaked as he pulled the shower curtain around himself to hide himself from his Yami's gaze. "And give me back that conditioner! Without that my hair won't be even the slightest bit manageable. It's hard enough as it is without adding to that!"

"But you have the silkiest hair!" Yami exclaimed still in the bathroom still holding the conditioner out of his light's reach.

"The conditioner does…. Hey wait how do you know if my hair is silky or not? How do you know that?" Malik asked looking again adorably confused.

Yami Malik paused a moment and gave a very mischievous look (one that had been used a lot!) then held up the conditioner. "I can't let you use this vile substance. Look at this evil creature!" He hissed at the offending marsupial. Malik was getting exasperated, and pruny in the water.

That would be a kangaroo; they live in Australia which might be why you have not seen one before. I could take you to the zoo later to show you one. They are not evil, unless of course you get into a boxing match with one (this is not suggested, they will beat you to a bloody pulp. Power to the Marsupials!) Hand over the conditioner NOW! And you still haven't answered my question yet."

"What question?" Yami Malik asked innocently (can he be innocent? Dunno)

"You know exactly what I mean!"

As Yami Malik tried to look as innocent as possible with little devil horns coming out of no where to rest on his head (metaphorically people, come on even he wouldn't use his magic to do that when he is trying to look innocent!), Malik tried to reach for said conditioner. As he reached for the conditioner Malik slipped, luckily he caught himself in time, but he was now wary.

"Don't you have anyone else to stalk and torment?" Malik asked now feeling his anger rise to a very dangerous level. Yami Malik just gave him a blank look and held on to the container. "Can't you go bother Yami Yugi, or Bakura, or Tristan, or Relena or even Tea. Wait don't go to that extreme with Tea and Relena that would just be nasty!" Yami Malik flinched at the two devils incarnate names (we HATE, HATE, HATE Relena and Tea, so if you like them, GET A LIFE!!!) While Yami Malik was distracted by the thought of those two hideous beings Malik saw his chance he lunged for his Yami completely forgetting where he was (and what he was, or in this case, wasn't wearing!). Somewhere in the middle of his leap he got a bottle of shampoo and shot it in his Yami's hair. Malik flew into his Yami with a thump and they both fell to the bathroom floor. Then there was a lot of scrambling as they fought for the 'evil' conditioner. This then proceeded into a full out wrestling match right there on the tile floor. They were flipping each other over and pinning them only to then be flipped themselves (we're imagining a big bathroom, or a small fight!).

"Hey Malik, you really should get…" Isis started as she opened the door to tell her brother to get out of the shower. But there before her were her brother and his Yami rolling around the bathroom floor fighting over the Aussie Land Conditioner. The conditioner happened to be one of those that you squeeze out and has no lid, so it was everywhere (word for the wise, don't try to smell those types of conditioner, it burns to get conditioner in your nose!). And not only that but her brother was still wet and nude from his shower, which was still going in the background. Isis took this all in with wide shocked eyes, and a gaping mouth.

"Malik I don't care what you and your Yami do, but please lock the door for us modest ones!" Isis squeaked from the door. Malik finally heard this and looked down at himself and squeaked and hide behind his Yami.

"Isis, it's not what it looks like," Malik started a deep crimson coloring his already dark cheeks. "Yami took my conditioner because it has an 'evil' creature on the front and now he won't give it back!" Malik now sounded like a three year old (and he is soooooooooo much cuter!).

"I don't care I just know what it looked like." Isis stated dismissing Malik and his Yami's weird ways. But then she added slyly, "Malik you do know that even if you turn out to be gay you're still my little brother." Malik was now almost completely crimson.

"OUT NOW!" he yelled, Isis snickered and closed the door behind her. Malik then turned to his Yami who he was still hiding behind. Yami Malik had just been smiling wickedly during the whole sibling thing; he hadn't even noticed the shampoo and conditioner in his hair. "You have lots of shampoo in your hair and even more conditioner." Malik told his Yami trying to get his Yami mad. He then looked at himself in the mirror and noticed he had just as much in his hair too. He cursed in Egyptian softly then stated, "Looks like I have to take a whole other shower, thanks to you. I hope you're satisfied!"

Yami gave Malik a very mischievous grin at the statement. "Yes actually I am. Now if you don't mind I have to take a shower too." Malik gaped at his Yami, and what was that statement about?

"I was here first I get the shower!" Malik said indignantly.

"Well then I guess we'll just have to share." Yami Malik said looking like Lucifer himself!


Ice: YEAAAAAAAAA The first chapter's finished evil cliffie and all!

KT: Evil cliffie? I think it ended pretty obviously! Even though we are not going to write the shower scene…

Ice: Sorry for you who wanted that scene, but this is a PG-13 fic. But if you really want to you can write the 'shower scene'!

KT: O_ou

Ice: Anyway please review our fic, it is our first time writing together and any advice is welcome.