December 3, 4, & 5, 2004: I'm editting all the chapters via fanfiction dot net with that new export feature. The grammar will be fixed up (as best as I can to my ability), and certain canon things will be fixed (ie: Nott's first name, No Sirius, etc.). I will try writing chapter 20 when I'm done, but I won't guarentee anything. Thanks to all for replying and liking my fic. It means a lot to me.

Title: He is NOT my boyfriend!

Pairings: Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione, Seamus/Dean

Warnings: Slash, WAFF (I think), a cute Draco (hopefully not too OOC), and NO plot!

Status: ???

Notes: It was meant for Valentine's Day. Not necessarily for a challenge. I know it's late, but RL was biting me in the butt!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. JKR owns them, not moi. I make no money off of this. Although, Rowling should take a page from my book.


Harry wondered, for the twelfth time that day, just why everyone was looking at him strangely. It wasn't the kind of look he would get because he was the famous Harry Potter, it was a more confused or amused look he would receive.

Harry James Potter was walking in Diagon Alley, arms full of packages containing his new books for his sixth year at Hogwarts. He had a couple new classes starting, including Study of Ancient Runes, and he had just gotten the books for those classes. He walked out of Flourish and Blotts, whistling some tune that had been stuck in his head, when someone placed a hand onto his shoulder. The action shocked Harry so much that he dropped his books and went for his wand.

"Whoa! It's all right, Harry! It's me."

Harry let out a relieved breath, "Oh, Minister! I'm sorry that I over reacted, I just. . ."

"Tis all right, Harry. I understand. Especially what has happened to you these past few years. Er, I don't wish to be rude, but. . . could I talk to you privately?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." After Harry picked his books back up, he followed Cornelius Fudge into the Leaky Cauldron. "What's the problem, sir?" Harry asked when they sat down.

"You can call me Fudge." The Minister grinned, "Well, you see. . . it's about your choice of. . . how should I put this? Uh. . ." Fudge scratched his chin and then started over, "You know that the Ministry is trying its best to make sure that you stay safe now, and that any indication, anything that might seem like a risk. . . we'd have to justify certain actions you take, just in case. . ."

Fudge thought he was getting the point across rather smoothly, without bringing the subject up. Unfortunately, Harry was very confused and didn't have a clue to what he was talking about.

"Er. . . sorry, Minister, but what are you talking about?"

"Uh, well. . . you're a very trusting person, Harry, and, well. . . sometimes I think you're TOO trusting."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Sir?"

"How-can-you-be-SO-sure?" Fudge looked very determined to finally get Harry to say it first. Whatever it was that he wanted Harry to say.

"Be sure about what?" Harry said. He was starting to get very vexed at the Minister, and was about to ask him to start explaining himself. . . Harry stood up, opened his mouth, but then felt a pair of warm arms enveloping the upper half of his body. Instead of saying what he wanted to say, he let out a squeak of surprise.

"Oh, it's true, Minister," said a drawling voice, "No need to bother Harry for the details."

Harry's eyes flew open the moment he heard that familiar voice. He was about to elbow the jerk in the stomach, but he stopped when he noticed that Fudge was staring at them in what looked like. . . relief? Harry was so confused about what was going on, but there was one thing that he learned from his years of unexpected things happening during his years at Hogwarts . . . 'Stay silent' and let things play out, 'Listen carefully' and try putting two and two together, and most importantly-'Be Patient'. Even though he had a very strong urge to shake Malfoy's arms off of him, he stood there and let the pale boy hang on him.

"Oh? Is it, now?" Fudge was looking back and forth at them. Harry had yet to turn his head around to see the look on Malfoy's face, but he didn't doubt that Malfoy must have some sort of look on his face that told Fudge that he was being truthful. Harry knew that Malfoy was lying, but he didn't say anything.

"Yes," Malfoy said, very dangerously close to Harry's ear. "Harry Potter IS my boyfriend, so you can go back to the Ministry and tell them that I'm as innocent as a new born baby."

Fudge raised a brow and a small smile flittered across his face, "Indeed. If what you say is true, and if Harry here says that it's true. . ."

Harry gulped hard, feeling his stomach sink to his feet. "What do you mean. . ." Harry said slowly, "About him not being innocent?"

"Oh, that!" Fudge snickered. Harry guessed that he must have sounded appalled by the idea that he didn't believe what Malfoy was saying, "Well, Harry, I just needed some clarification that Mr. Malfoy is indeed not a Death Eater, and will never become one. Now that I see that what he says is true, that you two are seeing each other, then I will just go back to the Ministry and tell them that it's all been a mistake."

"Oh." Harry said, still a little confused, but he put on a surely smile, "I see now. You thought that Malfoy here was a Death Eater, and that I'd . . . if I was really going with him, then he must not be, because. . .?"

"Because you'd never go out with someone whose on Lord Voldemort's side." Draco finished for him. When he said this, though, Fudge shivered rather hard, but he didn't say anything to Malfoy about saying the Dark Lord's name out loud.

"Yes. . ." Harry said. He made sure that his malice was only noticed by Malfoy, and that it seemed like a lover's quarrel going on, "Of course, I would NEVER go out with a Death Eater, would I? Because we all know what happens to Death Eaters. . ."

"Yes, we do." Malfoy said, right in Harry's ear. Harry closed his eyes, suppressing a shudder.

"Well then, now that that is settled," Fudge got up and made his way out, "I bid you two gentlemen a good evening and I will possibly see you later, Harry. You keep an eye on him, eh? Make sure that he stays out of trouble? Don't want two Malfoys in Azkaban, do we?"

Harry tried his best to smile nicely, "Nope, we don't want that."

"Right. Good day, then, gents." Fudge left, looking more relieved than before.

Once Fudge was out of sight, Harry turned abruptly, getting Malfoy's arms off of him. "So, that is your little ploy, huh, Malfoy? Tell everyone that we're a couple so that you don't get landed in prison! That is SO like you, you know that? You'd do or say anything to get out of trouble!"

Harry was expected a sneer, or some kind of nasty look, but he never got one. Draco was looking more relieved and happy. Harry did a double take, and then sighed in frustration.

"I had to," Malfoy finally said, "They didn't believe me. Fudge didn't believe me, even when I showed my bare arm to him. He thinks that I will become one to, you know. . . avenge my father, etcetera. Truthfully, I could really care less about what happens to Pops. He got himself into that mess, he can get himself out. I'm not risking my neck to save him. I don't want to end up. . . there." Malfoy shuddered.

"Oh." Harry said, rather unintelligently, "I see. So, how many have you told, exactly?"

Draco looked at his shoes, blushing slightly.

"Malfoy?" Harry crossed his arms impatiently, "Tell me. Now."

"I. . . I couldn't help it, Harry. I had to tell. . . a few people. Otherwise. . . it would seem like I was lying."

"But you ARE. . ." Harry stopped short when he noticed that people were looking at him. "Ok, look. . . I'm meeting my friends here. So, if you could just make yourself scarce. . ."

"I can't do that," Draco whispered through his teeth, "People will start talking and get suspicious about me again. . . we have to make it look real."

"What?" Harry groaned, "You're not suggesting. . . we can't!"

Malfoy grabbed Harry's hand and led him toward an empty booth near the back. "We won't try attracting too much attention, but if people see us, we have to be together. It'll be more convincing that way. Just leave everything to me."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Harry groaned.

They sat at the booth, across from one another, and a waiter instantly walked over to them.

"What will it be, good sirs?" he asked, looking amused. Harry groaned silently to himself, knowing that this guy must have heard the rumors.

"A mug of mead and a bottle of butterbeer." Malfoy instantly replied.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Malfoy." The waiter bowed and then left.

Harry arched a brow, "Mead?"

Draco smirked, "I NEVER get carded, even though they know that I'm still in school. Scared of me, I think." Malfoy looked absolutely pleased about that.

"No doubts there." Harry cracked a small smile. "You haven't changed much, Malfoy."

"Draco. Remember, it's Draco now."

"Oh, riiiiight. . ." Harry mocked a grin, "Draaaaaacooooo. . ."

Malfoy looked like he was trying to hold in a snicker. His eyes were shining mischievously, and his bottom lip was twitching. "Right. . . Haaaaarryyy. . ."

Harry laughed. He didn't think it was possible to laugh at something Malfoy ever said, but there you are. Malfoy was even making fun at his expense, but still . . . it didn't seem too bad. It felt rather nice to laugh with Draco, instead of getting laughed at.

"So, Draco. . ." Harry said, finally gaining control again, "You switched sides. Care to explain to me why?"

"I thought I already did." Draco said, pouting slightly, "Do I need to repeat myself?"

"Oh. 'Cause you don't want to end up in Azkaban. . ."

"That's one of the main reasons, yes." Malfoy said, grinning.

"And the other?" Harry asked, curiously. This was an odd thing - having a rather civil conversation with Draco Malfoy.

Draco smirked, his eyes shining what Harry thought looked like embarrassment, "Love."

Harry's eyes bulged, and then he opened his mouth to say something, but the words got stuck in his throat. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, trying to form words, but then he got interrupted by the sound of a familiar, and clearly disgusted sounding, voice.

"Harry! There you are! And what the hell are you doing here with HIM??"

Harry looked up and saw his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger standing right by the table, close to him. Hermione had a giant bag full of books slung over her shoulder, and Ron had his books tucked underneath an arm.

"Well, we WERE having a good time being alone," Malfoy drawled, "Until YOU came along."

"Malfoy. . ." Harry said, giving him a warning look.

"What was that, Ferret?" Ron growled, clenching his fists.

"Just ignore him." Hermione said. She tried to regain her balance as she moved her book bag strap onto her shoulder better. "It would be nice if you did tell us what's going on, Harry."

"Why don't you two have a seat then?" Harry said, flushing, "You may need to sit for this, anyway."

"I am NOT sitting next to Malfoy!" Ron glared at the Slytherin student. "And I'm not having Hermione sit by the slime ball either."

Draco grinned, "Fine. I'll move and sit next to Harry. That way you can sit with your girlfriend."

Both Ron and Hermione turned red, mainly from embarrassment. Draco ignored this and slid into the seat by Harry. Ron slowly sat on the other side so that he was facing Harry. Hermione, then, slid in next to Ron and dropped her bag onto the floor.

"You better not be mean to her. . ." Ron warned. If things were different, Draco probably would take advantage of the situation and kick Granger under the table many times, but he quelled his bully instincts and just smiled.

"I won't do anything to Miss Granger." Draco said. He looked over at Harry and winked. Harry rolled his eyes.

"So, what's going on?" Hermione asked. But before Harry could even speak, the waiter came over with their drinks. He set the bottle of butterbeer in front of Harry and the mug of mead in front of Draco.

"Oh, would you two like something to drink as well?" the waiter asked Ron and Hermione.

"Well. . ." Ron stuck his hands in his pockets, as if he were going to see how much change he had, but Draco spoke up and said. . .

"Go ahead and order something. It's on me."

Ron lifted an eyebrow in confusion. At first, he wasn't going to do it, but then Harry seemed comfortable sitting there, next to the ratfink, so Ron shrugged his shoulders and went with it. "OK, then. If you're buying. . . I'll have two butterbeers!"

"Two?" Harry asked.

"Yeah. One for now, and one for later." Ron smirked at Draco.

Draco raised a brow, and then looked over at Hermione, "How about you, Granger? Want anything?"

"Er. . . ok. I'll have a cola with cherry syrup."

"Very well," said the waiter, "I'll be back with your drinks." And then he left.

"So," Harry cleared his throat, "How've you two been? I'm done with my shopping."

"Er, we're done." Ron said. He stared at Harry for a bit, and then looked over at Malfoy, who was playing with the edge of his robe's sleeve. "So, are you going to tell us what's going on, Harry?"

"Oh, um. . . well. . . me and Malfoy. . ." Draco shot him a look, and Harry quickly corrected himself, "I mean, Draco and I have been talking about a truce."

"Oh, really?" Hermione said. She had one of her new schoolbooks open in front of her. She nibbled on the corner of her lip nervously, "What brought this on?"

"He's on our side." Harry said, not wanting to go into details at the moment.

"How are you sure?" Ron said, his brows knitted tightly together. "What makes you believe him, Harry?"

"I don't know. . ." Harry sighed, "He just. . . well, we just started to talk about it and. . ." Harry jumped when he suddenly felt Draco's hand on his.

"We're not really enemies," Draco smirked, "We love each other. . . really."

"What??" Ron screamed.

"Ron, shh!" Harry said.

"Is that true?" Hermione asked, looking ready to faint.

"No!" Harry protested, even though Draco's hand was still on his and Draco's thumb was softly rubbing the top of his hand. "He is NOT my boyfriend, or lover, or anything!"

Draco pouted, "That hurt, Harry. That really, really hurt."

Harry looked down and saw that Draco still had his hand on his. He glared at the blond and said, "Move your hand."

Draco smirked and started to move his hand back and forth over Harry's.

Just as Harry was about to yell at Draco, someone interrupted his outburst.

"Ah, so it is true!" It was their dorm mate, Seamus and his friend Dean Thomas. Seamus was eying the way Harry and Draco were holding hands. "I see you've got this bad boy under your control, Harry."

"What? No!" Harry said, but then Draco kicked him in the shin and glared. Harry groaned inwardly and rolled his eyes, remembering that they had to keep their farce up in front of everyone, excluding his best friends, of course. "I mean. . . we're just starting to get to know each other. . ." Harry felt himself go bright red.

"Ah," Seamus said, eyes twinkling, "I get it. I suppose it's hard to get used to the fact that you're seeing someone that used to be your rival. I know how hard that can be. A friend of mine is seeing someone that used to side with You-Know-Who, also. They're getting along just smoothly though. Been seeing eye to eye fairly well lately."

Ron made a choking noise, but Hermione kicked him.

"So, how've you two been?" Harry asked.

"Fine. Very fine." Seamus grinned.

"Surviving." Dean said, and Seamus shot him a glance.

"I'll have to do that now, too," Ron muttered. Draco chuckled at this.

"Well, see you guys later." Seamus said smiling. They all said their goodbyes, and then Ron turned to Harry with a raised eyebrow.

"What is going on? Are you two really seeing one another?"

"No!" Harry said. "It's just that. . . to save his own skin, he told some people, including the Minister of Magic, that I'm his boyfriend. So, now we have to keep this up in front of everyone!"

"That is truly despicable." Hermione said, glaring at Malfoy, "I can't believe you'd do something like that to Harry without asking him first!"

"What should I have said?" Draco snarled, "That I needed to go okay things with him first? They'd be suspicious the moment I said something like that! I had to act confident."

"What exactly did you tell people?" Harry asked.

"Well, they asked me about being a Death Eater, or if I had the desire to become one, and I said 'no, of course not.' and then they asked for some proof, so the only thing I could do was say that I had a voucher, and the first person that came to mind was you, Harry. I said, 'Harry knows the truth.' And then they asked why Harry Potter would know for sure, since we're supposed to be enemies or whatever. I said all of this out of the spur of the moment, and plus I kind of panicked, and said it out loud."

"Which was?" Hermione asked.

"I said, 'Would Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, go out with someone that was a Death Eater?' and from then on, things sort of snowballed. That was probably why the Minister went looking for Harry to ask him about me. I had a feeling he would, because he was the only one that looked skeptical about it. When I finally found him, he'd already been talking to Harry, and I think I got there just in the nick of time to make sure that my story stayed true."

"You bastard!" Ron cried, "How could you do such a thing?? You can't go around spreading rumors and lies, especially to the Minister of Magic!"

"Keep your voice down, Weasel!" Draco snarled, "You want the entire room to know about this??"

Ron clammed up, but he still looked ready to burst.

"Don't call him that, Malfoy." Harry warned.

"Why not? He can go ahead and call me a Ferret. I don't mind so much anymore."

"Huh?" Ron's eyes widened, "Are you serious?"

"Yes." Draco smiled. "You can call me Ferret, Granger can still call me Malfoy, if she likes, and Harry needs to start calling me Draco. We ARE seeing each other now, you know."

Harry groaned in his hands and said softly, "We are NOT seeing each other. . ."

The waiter just arrived, setting two bottles of butterbeer in front of Ron, and one cola with cherry syrup in front of Hermione. "There you are. Would anyone like anything else?"

Draco eyed Harry's friends and said, "Anyone hungry?"

"Not anymore." Ron grumbled.

"No, I'm fine, thanks." Hermione said.

"Harry?" Draco turned to his so-called boyfriend, "You hungry?"

"Not right now, thanks anyway."

"We're fine, for now." Draco said to the waiter.

"Very well. If any of you need topping off, just flag me down, or come see me at the bar." The waiter smiled, and then left.

Draco took a gulp of his drink and then said, "I think he likes me."

"Oh please," Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not everyone thinks you're a god."

Draco sniffed and tossed his head, "And why not? I have been voted 'Sexiest Slytherin' four years running. And I've been voted most likely to be called a sex god by the end of my school year."

Ron blanched at the notion, and Hermione rolled her eyes saying, "Slytherins!" Harry was trying his hardest to hide a laugh, but it wasn't at Draco's expense, it was from the reaction of his friends.


Well, I have a slight idea for more silly things to happen, so please let me know if you liked, because I'm really stupid for starting another new fic. Don't know when the next part will be up, but please stay tuned. And thanks for reading!!