The Worst Torture

Author: Writing4theSoul (aka Erica)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they belong to Joss Whendon. ( They are just on loan...They are my puppets, and I am their puppet masters.(evil wicked grin)

Summary: In year 2003, Buffy dies.again. But this time, she doesn't come back. While lying in Spike's arms, she whispers how she feels about him. The memory of Buffy, Spike's one and only true love, plagues his mind for 100 years. In those 100 years, he tried to make up for Buffy's death by training other Slayers. What happens when the new slayer is a little too much like Buffy for comfort?

A/N: Hey I thought this was a pretty good idea, tell me what you think! PLEASE R&R!!!

The ************** symbol means flashbacks! And the symbol means vision!

A low rumble came from inside Buffy's chest when Spike ran around the living room, gathering weapons for patrolling.

"Do we really need weapons for this? I mean it is just a Parago Demon." She said, rolling her eyes. The skinny blonde was obviously quite annoyed.

"A Parago Demon can be a nasty piece of work if you piss it off. And besides, I just like weapons. They make me feel all manly." Spike replied with a smile.

Buffy did her best not to smile and remain looking sullen. She just couldn't. Not when she was looking at Spike. When he smiled at her, he smiled with all of his soul. When he picked on her, it was actually funny. And when he said he loved her..Well that was actually true.

"---So what do you think?" Spike asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Uh.what?" Buffy was a little grateful that he stopped her from thinking anything else about him. She saw him standing there with a pretend annoyed look on his face. His blue eyes penetrating hers. Buffy wanted to laugh at the look he was giving her. Spike was holding up two axes, tapping his foot, looking annoyed. He reminded her so much of Giles, her watcher..Well.Ex watcher.Kind of..

"I say," Buffy walked to Spike grabbing both of the axes, "Just regular plain 'ol stakes. It'll be a pain to carry around."

"What's up with you Slayer?" The vampire asked the slayer with sincerity. "You're being really arrogant. No one knows better than you that it's better to be safe than sorry."

Buffy sighed, knowing Spike was right. She just didn't want to deal with it. She had something important she HAD to tell him tonight. She didn't want to feel like a Slayer. "Look outside, it's perfect. Nothing bad is going to happen." Buffy said with a smile, strutting slowly to the door. "I promise." With that, Buffy walked outside, Spike trailing behind.


For the past half an hour, Buffy and Spike walked thru the graveyard, not really speaking. So far they haven't ran into any vampires. Finally, Buffy turned her face to Spike, her hair whipping around her face.

"I have to talk to you Spike." She said semi-nervously.

"About what?" He asked, with one scarred eyebrow raised.

She stuttered, not knowing what to do. "Uh..Nice night. No vamps. Wha'd I tell ya?"

Spike rolled his eyes and walked ahead. "Slayer, if you want to talk, out with it. Otherwise, I'm tired of being teased."

"Spike!" She yelled after him. "It's about what I feel, with us."

If Spike's heart could beat, it would have broken thru his chest. "And what's that?"

"Well-" Buffy started, but as soon as she began, a giant demon punched her in the side, knocking her into a gravestone. 'Perfect timing.' She thought, rolling her eyes. "You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You... stomp. Or yodel."

"Buffy!" Spike yelled at her, circling the 8 foot, slimy demon. "This isn't the time, or the demon to be making smart-ass comments. Remember? Parago Demons get pissed then they are very deadly. Well they also understand English!" He managed to get out before the Demon stomped over to him and swung a giant fist at his head. Spike managed to dodge the boulder of a fist and tucked into a roll.

"It just kind of." Buffy started, as she jumped on the Demons back, placing her arms around the neck, trying to break it. "Pops out."

Just then, the demon shrieked. It was so loud and ear shattering, Buffy covered her ears. When she let go of the demons neck, she fell to the ground and rolled in pain.

"Watch for the hooves!" Spike yelled, trying to get up, but miserably failing. Buffy couldn't hear what Spike said. As soon as the demon stopped shrieking, she jumped up and gained her balance.

"I didn't come here to fight." She said, circling the demon. The demon then swung an arm to her temple which she blocked. The Parago demon hit her hard in the arm, breaking her left wrist. The blow was so strong, she fell to the ground. "Oh yeah, that's right..I did." The slayer said, jumping up once again.

"Buffy.." Spike warned again, this time, making it to his feet shakily. The Parago Demon turned and charged towards Spike. The vampire tried to kick the slimy beast, but his foot was caught in the monsters strong grasp. In one quick twist, it broke Spike's leg. The demon thru Spike to the ground, hitting his head hard on the gravestone. Spike was on the verge of passing out when he heard Buffy's voice scream "NO!" Then everything went black.

Buffy gasped at the sight of her love. She finally admitted it to herself in that moment. With tears in her eyes she ran towards the beast that had hurt Spike. She was furious. The slayer gave the demon a punch in the head. The Demon just laughed. Not much as a laugh, so much as shrieking. But Buffy could tell it was mocking her.

"What's so funny?" She asked, her eyes burning brightly. "Come on, we fight monsters, this is what we do. They show up, they scare us, I beat them up, and they go away. What makes you any different?" At that second, she grabbed the sides of his face, trying to break his neck yet again. And yet again she failed. The Parago Demon pushed her to the ground and slashed her stomach with his nails. Buffy was unable to move. 'Paralyzing poison. The one thing Spike failed to mention.Paralyzing poison.' She thought.

The demon then raised an arm. Buffy's eyes traced the long, muscular arm, to a giant hand with sharp nails at the end. As the monster plunged into Buffy's neck, she gave a slight gasp. Knowing this was the end. As the beast was about to attack again, his head met a very angry vampire foot. Spike kicked so hard, it completely knocked the demons head off.

Spike looked down at Buffy. His eyes grew wide with the realization that she was not going to make it. The whole where the nail had penetrated was hidden beneath mass amounts of blood. Giant waves of tears crashed from Spike's blue sea of eyes.

Buffy looked up at him, fighting against the darkness that was about to cover her. She had to get it out. Still looking up, she smiled weakly, trying to be brave for Spike, with tears streaming down her face. She was going to leave him all alone. Finally, she slowly raised a hand. "Sp- Spike." She said slowly, and quietly.

When Spike heard her voice he sunk to his knees and grabbed her hand. He then laid his head on her stomach. The blood dripping into his face made him sick. The woman he loved was going to die. He couldn't believe at one point he wanted her blood to be drained, and for the Slayer to be dead. "Yes my love." He said into her stomach. Buffy squeezed her hand tightly around Spike's. "I do something..for me." Her chest heaved with every shaky breath. It hurt like hell.

"Anything my love." He said, balling into her wet t-shirt. He didn't ever want to let her go.

"Drink me." She said. With that he looked up with swollen eyes.

"No." He replied sternly.

"That's the only.way.I can get out.How I feel."

Spike paused, remembering when he killed the two other slayers. He remembered visions passing thru his head. Everything the Slayer was thinking. It was like being taken into another world. Where everything went the slayer's way. It was exhilarating. Even though Slayer's blood was an aphrodisiac, it wasn't what kept him killing. It was the visions. He looked at her hand, and brought it to his mouth. Hesitating, he began to lower it, when it was thrust to his mouth, with as much strength as Buffy could gather. He began to drink slowly, then a warm feeling flowed through him and he stopped drinking. Spike placed his mouth on Buffy's hand, kissing it gently as the vision passed through.

Spike looked around. It was sunrise, and he went to hide under something, but there was nothing to hide under, he was on a beach. As the sun kept getting higher, it touched his skin. He was waiting to explode into a million dusty pieces, when, he didn't.

Spike raised his head and looked around. Then Buffy appeared in front of him, smiling. Her long, wavy golden hair was trailing down her neck. Atop her head sat a crown of roses, and she wore a white robe. 'An angel.' He thought. Very few people got the chance to become an angel. Even fewer slayers, because they had to deal with so much violence.

"Spike." She simply said, still smiling. Spike tried to reply, but he was stunned, no words could come out. Buffy walked over to him and grabbed his hand. Where she then led him to where the seawater just barely touched the sand. "I brought you here to tell you something."

Spike still stared, dumbfounded. Buffy didn't speak, she only grabbed the sides of his smooth face and brought it to hers. Her lips grazed his softly and lovingly. Their lips both parted and Buffy's tongue entered Spike's mouth, massaging softly. They shared a loving kiss. Then finally Buffy pulled away. Spike looked at her then broke down, crying. He wanted to stay there forever.

Buffy pet his head as the vampire laid in her lap. "Spike, I'm so sorry. I broke my promise. You will see me again, I promise that. I see things now. The future. And we will meet again. But, you have to open your eyes now Spike."

As much as Spike tried not to, his eyes fluttered open. He blinked a couple of times, then the harsh reality stung him. Buffy was almost dead. He just barely heard her heart beating with his vampire senses. She looked up at him and smiled again. Salty tears stung her face.

Spike crumbled and stuck to her body. "I'm so sorry." He muttered over and over again.

" you s-s-something." Buffy finally got out. He looked up at her, but could barely see, his eyes were puffy and his cheeks stung. "I love you." She said, loud and clear. "I love you." She repeated. She smiled for the first time that night. She didn't smile to be brave, or to just make people believe she was okay. She smiled because she finally got it out. What she wanted to say. She actually smiled without tears.

"Oh god Buffy I love you so much." Spike cried, placing his lips on her forehead. Buffy looked up at Spike.

"Don't ever forget me. But you'll have to let me go."

Spike was stunned at Buffy's words. They were clear as if she wasn't even in any pain. Buffy continued.

"I know you'll meet someone else-"

Buffy was cut off by Spike's screams. "No, love, I wont. Never. Never. Never."

"Yes my love, you will. Remember me, you'll never lose me. She'll be with you. She's not me, but she's her. She'll give you more than I ever could."

And with that, Buffy's eyes glazed over.

****************************************************** ~~Spike looked at The Slayer, with hate gleaming in his eyes. Well..he was trying to gleam hate.But it wasn't quite working. Buffy rolled her eyes, tired of playing games. "What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?"

Spike stepped back, and scoffed. "Maybe I dumped her!" They stood staring at each other, when Harmony takes a step forward, as if she were partially threatening. "She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days." She simply stated. Buffy started chuckling and Spike turned around, annoyed.

"Harm!" He yelled.~~

~~Spike ran up the stairs to Buffy's house, with a blanket draped over his back. His skin was sizzling. He didn't even look up, he just tried to push through the door. But Buffy pushed him back out.

"Help me!" Spike shouted. Buffy pushed him back out again. "What part of 'Help me' Do you not understand?" He yelled, standing outside, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Uh." Buffy paused, torturing the vampire. "The part where I help you."

"Come on!" Spike whined. "I'm parboiling out here!"

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Want me to help make it quicker?" She asked innocently. Spike hated that. All with her cute little innocent looks, with sassy words coming from her luscious mouth.

"Invite me in!" He screamed.

"No!" Buffy shouted in his face.

From the background, Giles was watching, slightly laughing, and slightly disturbed. "Very unlikely."~~

Spike was chained to the bathtub at Giles's place, looking quite uncomfortable. Every time Buffy even looked at him, she had to laugh. Spike was saying something partially insulting, so Buffy decided to tease him some more. She cocked her head to the side, to expose her neck. "Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away." She ran a finger down the vain on her neck. Buffy couldn't decide if she was messing with him or flirting with him.

From the kitchen, Giles rolled his eyes and began to clean his glasses. "Oh please." He muttered.

Spike squeaked, which only made Buffy smile harder. "Giles make her stop!" He yelled.

Giles continued cleansing his glasses and spoke to no one in particular. "If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand."~~

~~In Spike's crypt, he was sitting on a ratty old couch with the Slayers sister staring at him. He raised an eyebrow. "They're just trying to keep you safe I expect." He said.

Dawn looked at him and smiled. "I feel safe with you." She said, trying to hide the fact that she had a HUGE crush on Spike.

Spike choked on the blood he was drinking. And started coughing wildly. He finally calmed down enough to give her a giant surprised look, almost like he was frightened. "Take that back!!" He shouted.~~

~~Dawn stared at him, deeply into his story. "And so the lady just invited you in?!" She asked, amazed.

"Well I had her hubby by the throat, right?" He replied cockily. "Promised her he'd live if she did the invite." He shrugged it off as if it was no big deal. But it was obviously a big deal to Dawn.

"And did you..let him live?"

"What do you think?" He asked, raising his eyebrow at her.

"Oh." She hunched her back and looked at the ground.

"Too much for you?" He asked, smiling. Spike was proud that he scared the lil bit. Dawn perked up.

"No keep going!"

Spike smiled. "And I kill 'em, right quick. The whole lot. But... there's someone missing. There's supposed to be this little girl... So I get real quiet, and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. So I listened harder... it's very, very quiet..."

Suddenly the door slams open, revealing a very stern slayer. "Oh bloody hell." He mutters.

Buffy walked over to them. "He was telling me stories!" Dawn shouted excitedly. Spike shot her a look. "Wanna hear?"

Buffy glared at Spike. "Yeah, let's hear the story Spike is telling my little sister." She said, gazing in his eyes, daring him to continue. Spike cleared his throat and looked back and forth between the two sisters.

"Right. Yeah. So, uh, I knew the girl was in the coal bin. And I rip it open, very violently, and haul her out of there. And then I gave her to a good family, in a nice home, where they're never, ever mean to her and didn't lock her in a coal bin."~~

~~Spike was in his crypt. Battered from Glory, the evil God. Buffy-Bot was staring right in front of him, waiting for his answer to her question.

"'Cuz Buffy -- the other, not-so-pleasant Buffy -- anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. Couldn't live, her being that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did." He chuckled, even though his bruises and gashes nearly made him weep. Buffy then kissed him lightly on the lips. Spike stood, stunned, finally realizing that this was not the Buffy-Bot. She walked towards the door. Before she left, she slightly turned her head and said, "What you did for me and Dawn, that was real. I won't forget it."~~

~~Spike and his new 'friend' were walking down the hall, then he ran into Buffy. After a moment of awkward silence, Spike spoke. "You meet my friend?" He asked curiously. Wondering if it would make her feel anything at all.

Buffy smiled and replied sweetly. "No, not yet. But she seems like a very nice attempt at making me jealous." There was not a single rude tone in her voice, she spoke softly and quietly. Like how you would speak to a friend.

They stood.

"But if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts." She smiled weakly. Spikes eyes grew wide.

"I'm sorry." He said shamefully. Then his head snapped up. "Oh... good!" ********************************************************

Spike stared down at the Slayer. HIS slayer. He gathered her un-breathing body and held her in his arms, sobbing loudly. "NO!" He screamed. He screamed so loud that it could wake the dead. There was so much pain that day. There was so much pain that the skies parted and it began to rain. Lightning struck a near-by tree. Spike could not see her, but her apparition was standing behind him. And even though he couldn't see her, he could hear her.

"Spike." The sound of Buffy's voice echoed in the storm. As if the raindrops were carrying the Slayer's message.

"Spike, listen to me. Listen: I love you. I will always love you. I always have loved you. This is the work that I have to do. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Spike, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live... for me. Goodbye William. I love you."

That was the last time Spike heard her voice. He buried his head in her hair and wept.