A troll, a hag and a leprechaun all go into a bar. The three creatures found a table in the back, where the lighting wasn't too bright. The short leprechaun stood in his chair, looking surly about the world. The hag sat down in her seat, her mouth making a slight chewing motion. And the troll lowered his weight into the chair, which groaned under him.

"I can't believe how those humans treat us," the leprechaun squeaked. "Like we are foul creatures out to kill their young for our pleasures." The hag nodded.

"Yeah," the Troll agreed, banging his fist on the table. "And they say I smell."

A weary waitress stepped over.

"Anything for you three?" she asked, uncertainly. The leprechaun looked at her with his beady eyes.

"What? Think we're going to drink your blood?" said the Leprechaun, indignant at her fear. She squeaked, but stood there.

"I'd like a pint," the Troll said. The waitress wrote it down, and looked at the Hag. The Hag kept her mouth closed, and shook her head. She didn't want anything.

"I'd like a martini," the leprechaun told her.

"I don't think we..." the waitress started to protest.

"WHAT? You don't think you served leprechauns martinis? Are leprechauns not good enough for martinis?" he yelled, floating up out of his chair a few inches. The waitress shrieked and rushed back to the bar to get their drinks, not saying anything about how they didn't serve martinis at the bar.

"I can't believe this bar," the leprechaun said, sitting back down. "Thinking that they can abuse us. We aren't beasts. We're beings. We deserve rights. We deserve to be treated fairly. We do NOT deserve to be treated as if we are monsters."

"I agree," the Troll cried, stamping his foot. The Hag nodded but kept quiet.

"With all those regulations I haven't been able to see me mum for a decade," the leprechaun complained. "Me mum loves me. But do they care? I doubt they'd even understand that it would be possible for a leprechaun mum to love their son. They'd probably think that leprechaun don't have feelings. That we are all bloodthirsty beasts. Me mum loves me more than they'd ever know."

"I never knew my mum," the troll pouted. "They took me away from her when I was a wee lad."

"That's just like those humans," the leprechaun cried out. "Taking us away from our families. Thinking they'd be a bad influence on us. Just because they aren't like them.?

The waitress returned with the drinks, carefully moving the drinks from the tray onto the table. The leprechaun glared at her and she ran off without leaving the bill.

"I don't know why they're afraid of us," he muttered, taking a sip from his drink. "We aren't monsters. They are the monsters. Calling us names. Treating us like dirt. Abusing us. Forcing us to do work we are over- qualified for."

"Telling us we smell," The troll added. The hag continued to nod in agreement. Then she gave a slight burp, and put a hand to cover her mouth before speaking.

"Not to mention their brats give me indigestion."