A/N: One shot, Rated T for language and sexual themes, Takes place after the Final Battle when they all come back for an 8th year, Kind of AU (As in things are far more lighthearted than they would be in cannon, probably). Enjoy!

Harry Potter was enjoying a pleasant breakfast in the Great Hall before he headed off to the quidditch pitch for an early Sunday morning practice. They had a match against Slytherin next week, and as Quidditch captain he would make sure everyone was at their best.

He tuned out the usual bickering of his two best friends and he reached for the toast. His eyes lit up as he saw Ginny entering the Great Hall. Maybe she would shut them up. Or at least force them to be pleasant. She shot him a small smile as she settled into the seat across from Hermione, next to her brother.

Harry smoothly buttered his toast and held back a smirk when he saw Ginny whack her brother's head rather roughly. It was an overall normal morning.

That is, until the letter came.

The grey owl had a haughty gaze in its wise grey eyes as it dropped the letter in the middle of the table. It was almost regal in the way it perched against the plate.

"Shoo." Ron said as he tried to push the owl away. The owl gave him one fierce look, before snapping its beak at his fingers in a threatening manner.

"Bloody devil creature." He glared.

Hermione chuckled. "Shut up, Ron. He won't hurt you. And he's not going to leave until we read the letter. Quite an intelligent owl, aren't you?" She cooed.

She stroked the owl's soft feathers and smiled as it hooted softly. "See? He's harmless."

Ron eyed the owl wearily and reached out a hand. His frustration increased when the owl nipped at his finger. "Are you sure about that?" He pointed his now bleeding finger at the owl, "That thing is a menace."

"Honestly, Ronald. It's just an owl." Hermione huffed, gently detaching the letter from the owl's leg. "I wonder whose it is?" She wondered aloud.

She opened the letter and began to read. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What the hell?" She muttered when she finished reading.

"What is it?" Ginny asked, craning to read the paper from across the table. "What does it say?"

Her voice lowered, "Is this about the contraceptive potion you ordered?"

Ron flushed a bright shade of red, "A what now?"

"Nothing." Ginny blurted out, suddenly finding great interest in her scrambled eggs.

Hermione cleared her throat, "It's addressed to all of us. Look." She laid the letter in the middle of the four. Harry looked at the parchment and raised his eyebrows.

"Dearest Boy-Who-Never-Dies, Weasel, She-Weasel, and Muggle Know-it-all" Harry began to read in a rather amused tone.

"We have come across quite an interesting secret that might be worth knowing, as it includes you. If you wish to find out, meet us in the Room of Requirement at 11 pm. Tonight." Harry glanced up and scanned the room for the culprits. He narrowed his eyes when his gaze landed on the four people sitting at the table across the room. "The Slytherins." He finished.

There was silence. Then a moment later, "Should we go?"

Instantly Ginny said. "Of course."

"No!" Ron spat, at the same time. The siblings glared at each other fiercely.

"Why not?" Harry shrugged, finishing his breakfast and standing up. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Ron paled, "We could become sacrifices to You-Know-Who."

"He's dead, Ron." All three of the Gryffindors snapped with annoyance clearly written on their faces.

Ron frowned, "Oh yeah."

"I don't know." Hermione murmured. "What if it's a prank?"

"Live a little, Hermione." Harry nudged her shoulder. "Besides, don't you want to know what the secret is?"

Ginny nodded and chimed in, "It has to do with you. Don't you just have to know what it is?"

Hermione scowled, "Fine. But only because I want to make sure you three don't do something stupid."

Ginny made a faux offended face, "Why I neve-"

"Save it." Hermione said, standing up from the table. "Whose bright idea was it to go skinny dipping last week in the Black Lake?" She shook her head as she followed Harry towards the doors. "It's November, for cripes sake!"

As night approached, the three Gryffindors snuck quietly out of the dormitory. The Fat Lady gave them a disapproving look, but didn't say anything. They quickly met up with Hermione at the Heads' Quarters and headed to the Room of Requirement in a comfortable silence.

"What do you think it is?" Ron bellowed.

Well it was silent.

"Ssshh!" Ginny hissed as she saw movement in the corner of her eye. "I think that was Filch's cat!"

"We should have used the invisibility cloak." Ron muttered.

"Ronald, you are an idiot." Hermione grumbled. "How do you expect all four of us to fit under one small cloak? We aren't eleven anymore!"

He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, "Oh yeah."

They waited at the front of the Room as Harry walked past it three times. The door appeared from the walls, and they walked in slowly.

"We weren't expecting you to actually come." A snobbish voice echoed off the walls in the room.

The Gryffindors turned and saw four Slytherins sitting on the couches in the middle of the room. Draco Malfoy sat on one of the couches with his best friend, Blaise Zabini. Across from them on the other couch were Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson.

They hesitantly made their way to the remaining couch and Hermione and Ginny sat down.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" Ron asked, resting his hands on Hermione's shoulders. Draco narrowed his eyes for a split second.

"On the floor, like the dog you are." He snickered. Daphne Greengrass rolled her eyes at the childish remark and conjured up another couch.

"Why are we here?" Hermione asked bluntly, sitting up straight and crossing her legs. Her ankle bounced up and down in the air, and Draco found his eyes locked on the pesky little movement.

"We found something strange the other day, and we thought you might want to know about it." Blaise explained, running a hand nervously through his hair. "We don't know what it means yet, but it has all our names in it."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, perplexed by the strange explanation.

"It's hard to explain, just look." Daphne said, pushing a manila envelope into Ginny's lap.

Ginny looked at Hermione, who nodded for her to continue. She carefully peeled open the flap, and pulled out the materials. She looked baffled at the contents.

"What is it?" She finally asked.

"We aren't exactly sure." Daphne said. "But look at this." She handed Hermione a piece of parchment. Hermione's eyes narrowed as she read the sheet.

"It's a link." She declared, standing up.

"A link? To what? And where are you going? I doubt the library can help us with this." Draco stated with a smirk.

"I'm getting my laptop." Hermione answered, choosing to ignore the library comment.

"Your what? Is that some muggle torture device?" Pansy Parkinson frowned, but she had already left the room.


Harry glanced up, startled. His eyes landed on the pretty blonde girl that had called his name. He was surprised she actually addressed him civilly. "What's a laptop?" She asked, her brows crinkling in puzzlement.

Harry grinned widely at the absurdity of it all. "Well Greengrass, it's the muggle version of magic and you can do almost anything on it…."

She raised her eyes to meet his and sea blue crashed with emerald green. "Oh really?" She licked her lips, "Anything?"

He leaned closer and whispered amusedly, "Anything."

"If you two are done with the foreplay, can we move on?" Pansy complained, examining her wicked sharp nails.

"Tell me about it." Ron groaned. "I want to get out of here as soon as possible. Just because we don't want to kill each other now doesn't mean that we're best friends."

The awkward silence that followed was deafening. It lasted until Hermione finally walked into the room.

"I had to rewire and fiddle with it a bit to get it to work around magic, but I got it!" Hermione exclaimed, carrying a sleek black thing. Everyone sighed in relief; the silence was a tad bit too suffocating.

She propped it open on her lap and glanced at the paper. The brief taps of keys filled the room and she glanced up with an unreadable expression on her face.

"What is it?" Blaise asked curiously, "I can't see anything."

Hermione laughed, "That's because the screen is facing me. Privacy, you know?" She turned the screen towards the others, "Look at this."

"It hurts my eyes. Why is it so bright?" Pansy grumbled from her spot. "No wonder you muggles have terrible eyesight."

"What exactly are we looking at?" Harry asked.

"Oh Merlin." Hermione's eyes widened as she scrolled down the page. "I can't believe this!"

"What?" Seven voices demanded, each squinting to read the tiny writing.

She pointed to the various titles and scrolled down even further to prove her point. "These are all stories."

"Granger, you just showed us a library." Blaise said sarcastically, clapping his hands in a mocking manner. "Congratulations."

She narrowed her eyes, "You daft idiot. These are all about us."

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed with exasperation when she saw all the blank looks she was getting. "These stories," She repeated slowly, "Are all about us, our lives, and things that didn't even happen!"

It took about two seconds for the room to be enveloped in chaos. Utter Chaos.


"People are writing about me?"

"I don't understand?"

"I'm famous?"

"I'm flattered that all these people are writing about me, but how do these muggles even know about me?" Draco drawled.

"That's not our biggest problem. There are thousands of these stories on just this fanfiction dot com website. They go from 'Why Draco Malfoy loves to sing' to "Ronald Weasley: Ultimate Weasel"

"I like the last one, lets read it!" Pansy clapped her hands. Hermione hid a smile and tapped the link.

She cleared her throat and began to read aloud:

When Ronald Weasley was angry, he sometimes resembled a Weasel. His angry face turned red and his fists were against his chest, ready to punch anyone that came near him. Today, Ronald Weasley was very pissed. Why? Because he had caught Seamus Flannigan trying to get into his sister's pants behind the statue of Merlin in the second floor corridor.

"Ginny!" Ron hissed, "You can't go around shagging every bloke you meet! Have some respect!"

"Ronald, it's just a story." Hermione reminded him.

"Oh yeah." He flushed almost instantly.

"Back to the story!" Daphne eagerly announced.

Ginny glared at her brother. "Ron, you aren't my dad! Go away!"

Ronald grimaced as he saw McMillan attack his sister's tonsils. Reluctantly, he walked away pondering whether he should send a note to his mum about Ginny's unladylike behavior.

This occurred several times over the past few months. He would catch his sister in a compromising position with some random bloke almost everywhere. He almost lost count and it sickened him. Finally he had had enough.

"Ginny! I'm sick of your slaggish behavior! You've turned into such a tart!" He shouted one day.

Ginny glared at her brother, "I can't believe you of all people are saying that!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Ron barked.

"I know what you've been doing in your spare time." A wicked smirk came over her features, "Or rather who you've been doing."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Ron insisted adamantly, crossing his arms.

"Oh come off it!" Ginny snapped. "I know you've been shagging Parkinson! You go around telling me I'm being a slag, when I've seen you both go at it almost everywhere. The boathouse, the forbidden forest, the dungeons, the Greenhouses, McGonagall's desk, have some respect! My poor eyes! And why am I the only dumb fuck that gets to walk in on you two going at it?"

Ron glanced at Pansy who stared back at him in horror. She let out an ear-piercing shriek and dashed out the door in an impressive sprint. All eyes turned to Ron.

He grinned widely, "She so wants me."

Hermione shook her head in disbelief, "That day, Ronald Weasley became the ultimate weasel in the eyes of Ginny Weasley." She finished lamely.

The room was silent once again, until Blaise began to laugh. Once he began to laugh, everyone joined in, suddenly unable to stop. It was quite the picture, a group of Slytherins and Gryffindors alike, sitting together and laughing in amusement.

Ginny shook her head and tucked away a stray wisp of hair, "As hilarious as that was, someone should go get Parkinson before she runs into Filch."

"I'll go!" Ron volunteered, wagging his eyebrows.

Hermione gave him a look, "Ron, you do realize you aren't actually in a relationship with Parkinson, right?"

His face fell for a slight moment, but then a challenging smile returned on his face. He stood up and smirked, "We'll see."

As he left the room, Harry tilted his head to the side. "I don't know what just happened, but I don't even want to think about it. Let's read another."

Hermione shrugged and scrolled down the page, "It looks like they give summaries along with the stories." She glanced at a title and began to read aloud. "Theodore Nott didn't know when he fell-" Her voice faltered and she paused.

"Well? Continue Granger." Blaise prompted her, leaning back leisurely on the couch.

Hermione sighed, "Theodore Nott didn't know when he fell in love with Hermione Granger. They were Head Girl and Boy that year, so perhaps it had started then. From years of observing her with his dark blue eyes, he knew the way she liked her coffee black, with two sugars. He knew she chewed on the end of her quill when she was nervous. He seemed to know all these little things about her, and they drove him crazy. Crazy for her." She finished, a blush creeping up to her cheeks.

Ginny let out a wolf-whistle. "Wow Hermione, I didn't know you were slumming it with the Slytherins. You should talk with Nott in the morning." She smirked wickedly, "You know talking always leads to something else." She made a crude gesture and Hermione gasped.

"Ginerva Weasley! What a thing to say!" She sputtered indignantly, hitting Ginny with a throw pillow.

Daphne shrugged nonchalantly, "I think we should read it."

Ginny nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, maybe then Hermione can run out after her lover like Ron did." She snickered.

"For your information, Theo is actually very nice, and he is a gentleman! Sure he may be Head Boy, but that doesn't mean it's a match made in heaven." Hermione insisted. "Besides, Theo's eyes are brown, not blue." She added, almost as an afterthought.

"So it's Theo now, hmm?" Ginny giggled. "And exactly how brown are his eyes, Hermione dear?"

"We're friends, I'm not going to keep calling him Nott," Hermione replied primly as she sunk further into the sofa. "As for your other immature comment, I'm not even going to deign that with an answer."

Draco cleared his throat loudly, his eyes darkening into dangerous slits. "We are not reading this."

Ginny glanced back it him challengingly, "And why the hell not?"

He shrugged, "It doesn't even sound legitimate. Everyone knows Granger prefers tea to coffee. When she's nervous she doesn't even chew on quills, she chews on her lip. Quills are obviously too precious for her to ruin by doing something as mundane as chewing on them. As if she would chew on that new Eagle feather quill she's been salivating over ever since it arrived in that shop in Hogsmeade."

Everyone glanced at him in shock. Harry gave Hermione a questioning look; "I didn't know you liked tea over coffee."

"Shows how unobservant you are, eh Potter? Everyone knows her favorite is peppermint tea." Draco sneered.

"Watching me quite closely, haven't you Malfoy?" Hermione smirked.

Draco glanced at her in shock. That was his smirk. It was the Malfoy smirk. No one else could pull it off. Except for apparently, her. He supposed he could share his trademark smirk with her, but only because he rather liked this expression on her. It was much more appealing than her 'Malfoy-go-die™' look.

He shook off his surprise and composed himself once again, letting his usual unemotional façade grace his attractive features. "I happen to be very observant, Granger. Unlike Wonder boy and Weaselbee." He couldn't resist getting that jab in somewhere. He sniffed haughtily, "Shall we move on? I speak on behalf of us men in the room… and Potter, we do not want to hear a sappy romance story."

Harry found himself nodding in agreement, "As much as I hate to agree with Malfoy, I really don't want to read some girly love story."

"Why don't we ask Hermione? Hermione do you want to read it?" Ginny asked.

Hermione was about to respond, but she felt a strong presence burning a hole in her head. She glanced up and was met with the fierce gaze of Draco Malfoy. He looked at her so intensely, Hermione stammered, as she said, "No, let's read something else."

She wasn't sure if she was hallucinating, but she swore she saw a pleased smile break out on Malfoy's face. She must be hallucinating. Since when did Malfoy smile?

Hermione quickly turned her eyes back to the laptop, and scrolled down murmuring things as she went. "Hmm, a story about us defeating Voldemort? Too soon. What about a story about Dark Lord Harry Potter?" She glanced at the horrified look on Harry's face and shook her head. "Okay fine. Time travel story? Too long, 84 chapters! Who has this much time?" She muttered. Her eyes widened.

"I think I'm going to be sick." She mumbled as she stared, horrified at something on her screen. Ginny looked curiously at the screen and read the little summary at the top of the screen.

"Severus Snape leaned against his door, eying the alluring witch with the tantalizing curves in front of him. She hoisted herself onto his desk and smiled seductively. 'Paint me like one of your French girls, Severus.' She whispered huskily, dropping her robes, revealing nothing underneath. Severus grinned and grabbed a quill, promising himself this drawing of Minerva would be the best one yet." Ginny choked out. "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth."

Harry was quickly turning red, "Minerva? As in McGonagall?"

Blaise made a disgusted face, "Obviously, Potter. I need to get this disturbing image out of my head."

Daphne, on the other hand, looked calculating, "I don't know, they do seem quite close these days."

All heads turned to look at her strangely. She raised an eyebrow. "They've done so much for us, why should we interfere with their happiness? If they find solace in each other, than so be it. In fact, we should be pleased for them."

"Daphne, this is just a story. They aren't really together." Harry reminded her gently.

"The same goes for Ron and Pansy. If they like each other, we shouldn't interfere. Who are we to deny others happiness?" She challenged, moving to sit next to Harry. "How would you feel if you had to give up your one true love, because others didn't approve?"

If Harry was flustered by her closeness, he didn't show it. "I wouldn't like it." He admitted.

"Exactly." She smiled.

"As touching as this is," Draco drawled, "I don't want to read about my Godfather having sex with McGonagall." He conjured up a glass of water and took a long sip, glancing elsewhere.

"We should send it to one of them as a joke. I bet Snape would get off on this kind of stuff." Ginny suggested, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

Hermione glanced at her as if she was truly mental. "Ginny…No." She said helplessly.

"What? It would be hilarious." Ginny said defensively, folding her arms. "Give it to me, I want to pick the next one."

"Absolutely not. Knowing you, you'd have us read something completely perverted." Hermione insisted.

"We'll pick." A voice came from the entrance of the room. The group craned their necks to see the two people walk up to them, hand in hand.

Blaise raised an eyebrow, "Of all the wizards in the world, you picked the Weasel?" He asked disbelievingly, glancing down at their intertwined hands.

Pansy shrugged her razor sharp shoulders; "He's cute when he's dumb. Lucky for me, that's most of the time."

Ron looked ready to protest, but the dark haired girl shot him a look and he backed down, pulling her toward the vacant couch. Harry smirked and coughed under his breath, "Whipped."

"Who cares? I just got myself an amazing girlfriend, AND a promise of fulfilling my sexy quidditch player fantasy later. What about you?" Ron retorted, wrapping an arm around Pansy.

Harry sighed in defeat and slumped deeper into the couch, "This isn't fair. I'm the boy who lived." He almost whined. "Why don't I get any offers for sex in quidditch uniforms?"

"Harry, you have plenty of offers. We all know you decline them because you're waiting for that special someone." Hermione comforted him when she saw the rest of the guys laughing silently.

"Wait, you mean Potter's a virgin?" Blaise guffawed, "That's too funny. Didn't you have some I'm about to fight a war-who knows if I'll live-sex?"

"Of course I'm not a virgin!" Harry insisted. The guys continued to laugh, and Harry looked at Hermione. "Tell them Hermione!"

Draco stopped laughing and stiffened. He turned to Hermione. "You mean you two were each others first?" He asked, his tone uncaring. But there was something cold in his eyes that made Hermione flinch. "How cute." He sneered.

"Well not exactly. I am not telling people this, Harry!" Hermione glared, using her laptop as a shield from surprised glances.

Harry shrugged, "Fine. I'll tell them. It's not that complicated actually. We had sex in the middle of the forest while we were on the run to find Horcruxes. So I actually did have I'm about to fight a war-who knows if I'll live-sex." He grinned shamelessly. "And it was great."

Ginny looked at Hermione accusingly, "But you told me that he wasn't your firs-"

"Shut up, Ginny!"

"You mean you slept with my ex-girlfriend AND made out with my sister? You can't have them both! This isn't fair!" Ron complained.

"Wait, I wasn't your first?" Harry asked, ignoring Ron. "But why didn't you tell me when-"

"You never asked. Can we change the subject?"

"No. This is way more interesting." Pansy snorted.

"I'll only tell if everyone else tells too." Hermione insisted.

Pansy grinned, "Fine with us. I'll go first. Draco, right before sixth year began at my house."

Ron leaned toward her and whispered in her ear, "Who's better?"

Pansy giggled, "Definitely you."

Malfoy looked offended at this, but he grumbled out his confession as well. "Parkinson, at her house in sixth year."

Blaise scratched the back of his head. "I'm not exactly sure at this point, but I think it was some French girl at a party in the summer between fifth and sixth year."

They glanced at Ginny, who was next. Ron glared at her, daring her to say something.

Ginny ignored her brother's deadly look and flipped her hair proudly, "Seamus, sixth year. In a broom closet."

"I'm going to kill that Seamus. How dare he even touch you." Ron growled, "Wait till mother hears about this-"

"Was he any good?" Asked Daphne curiously, "I've heard rumors that-"

"Yes." Hermione, Ginny, and Pansy announced. They looked at each other in confusion and laughed.

"I'm a virgin." Daphne Greengrass confessed. Everyone stared at her, and she looked completely at ease. "What? I have my reasons and I'll stick to them."

"Er- Hermione, seventh year, in a tent." Harry grinned blowing Hermione a kiss. She flipped him off and turned back to staring intently at her screen.

Draco scowled, "It's Weasel's turn."

"Right. Lavender Brown, sixth year in one of the abandoned classrooms." Ron muttered. Pansy squeezed his hand tighter, until he reassured her that he only liked her.

They all stared back at her expectantly. Hermione blushed and muttered something incoherent.

"What was that?"

"I said-rumfifthsummquidditch."

"Huh? Slower, Hermione dear." Ginny advised, a knowing grin coming onto her face.

Hermione flushed and the pink spread all the way down her neck. "I said," She spoke slowly, almost painfully, "Victor Krum. At his Quidditch practice at the end of fifth year."

"Nice Granger. I didn't know you were such a fan of quidditch." Pansy Parkinson smirked. Hermione simply glared at the girl and turned back to her laptop.

"Did he take you for a ride on his broomstick?" Ginny wiggled her eyebrows, "I bet you had a great time. A hot, sweaty, sexy-"

There was a muffled sound as a bright green pillow collided with the pretty redhead's face.

Blaise grinned, but it seemed off as he looked towards his best friend. He looked as if he was about to murder someone, and the glass in his hands was about to crack under the pressure he was holding it with.

Blaise laughed nervously as he plucked the glass out of his friend's hand and set it on the side table. "Okay then. Shall we continue? I believe it was Pansy and Weasley's turn to pick."

Ron reached his hands for the laptop, but Hermione moved it out of his reach. She shook her head. "Sorry Ron, but I trust Parkinson with this more than I trust you." She spoke, handing the laptop to Pansy. Pansy looked absolutely gleeful as she scrolled down the page. She and Ron began to whisper conspiringly as they read through the titles

"I have half a mind to torture you all and make you sit through a story about Hagrid retelling the story of his rendez-vous with a giant." Pansy grinned wickedly.

Everyone cringed.

"But…Since I'd have to read it, I'll choose something…pleasant, yes?"

There were several sighs of relief from everyone in the room.

"So I have chosen, Harry Potter and the Power of the Book."

Harry sighed, uncrossing his fingers. He had been hoping for a story not about him, but it didn't work. He was ready to cover his face in embarrassment as soon as Pansy began to read.

Harry Potter walked towards the Gryffindor Table in the Great Hall, but stopped as he was near the table. He tried to back away, but someone had already seen him and pulled him into the circle of boys that was gathered around Neville's seat.

Draco smirked, "What's this? A story about Potter's homo groupies? I'm sorry your secret's out Potter."

Pansy continued on, ignoring the looks of hostility shot between the two boys.

Harry grumbled to himself while he looked at what all the commotion was about. When he saw the wrapped item, he burst out laughing. In front of Neville, was a leather bound, hardcover book with golden writing that read Chat Up Lines for Idiotic Wizards. The other boys looked at him strangely, but Harry ignored them.

"Do you really think a book of chat up lines will help you win over girls?" Harry guffawed.

"Well…yes. Neville says so." Dean explained, as if it made complete sense.

"It's true Harry!" Neville insisted. "I got this book as a gag gift for Christmas and decided to try it out. It works I swear! I was talking to Hannah Abbot and I decided to use one of these lines on her. I asked her if she believed in love at first sight and she said maybe. Then I walked by her again and asked if she believed in love at second sight and she laughed and said yes. Guess who's got himself a date to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

Harry looked carefully at his friend, debating whether or not to tell him the truth. He decided to do so, after realizing if he didn't, the rest of the guys would be tricked into this scheme as well. "Neville," He sighed, "The truth is the book played no part in you scoring a date with Hannah. That girl has been in love with you for years, and the book had nothing to do with it."

Neville looked skeptical, "Harry, come on." He paused and a bright smile graced his face, "Maybe you should try this out. If you fail, then we'll believe you."

"Neville, honestly that would be ridiculous. Who am I supposed to try it on anyways? Hermione?" Harry asked, looking at his curly haired best friend, who was looking longingly at the dark haired boy seated at the Ravenclaw table. "She's too busy making goo-goo eyes at Mr. Ravenclaw Perfect Prefect Goldstein to even care what I have to say anyways." The guys nodded at his point

"Not Hermione. She is too in love with Anthony to even notice you. Why don't you try someone you don't know?" Seamus suggested.

"Fine." Harry grinned, "But I'm just saying, this won't work." He said as he flipped through the book.

"Say what you want, Harry. This book…This book holds an inconceivable amount of power." Neville said solemnly. Harry rolled his eyes but agreed to the challenge.

"How about her?" Neville asked, as he pointed to a long-haired figure sitting with her back to them. As she turned around, Harry cringed. "Neville, that's a guy."

"Oh, sorry Harry." Neville apologized profusely, turning red.

"How about I pick?" Harry suggested. He didn't wait for a response as he scanned the hall for a potential subject. His gaze gravitated towards Cho Chang, but she was still hung up over Cedric's death, so he moved on. He couldn't pick anyone from his own house, because he saw them on a regular basis. He briefly eyed the Hufflepuff table, but turned away immediately at the sight of several second years fawning at him. No, those hufflepuffs were crazy.

He glanced at his only other option, the Slytherin Table. He skipped over Malfoy and his cronies, and his gaze ghosted across the rest of the table until a girl suddenly looked up and locked her eyes with his. Harry's mouth parted slightly upon seeing the stormy blue-green eyes of the beautiful stranger. Her blonde hair cascaded down her back and curled towards the end. She had a cute little button nose and a heart shaped face with perfect peony colored lips. They stared at each other for what seemed like a long time, until Neville poked Harry's arm.

"That's Daphne Greengrass. Hermione studies with her often in the library. According to Hannah, she's the nicest Slytherin you'll meet." Neville whispered.

"Hermione studies with her and she didn't tell me?" Harry mused, bewildered.

"Why would she? You don't exactly ask about her studying sessions." Neville reminded him. "Come on, look she's getting up to leave! Go follow her!" Neville pushed him up.

Harry rose quickly, accidentally slamming his knee against the table in his haste. He followed the girl out of the Great Hall, and around a corridor till she stopped and turned around.

"Is there a reason you're following me around?" She asked curiously.

"Er, yes actually. I just wanted to ask you a question." He explained. She looked slightly disappointed but nodded for him to continue.

"Yes well, I was wondering if you survived the Avada Kedavra curse?"

"Sorry Potter, you seem to be confusing me with yourself." Daphne smiled to let him know she was joking.

"No, I'm pretty sure you did too, because you're drop dead gorgeous." He grinned widely.

Daphne's mouth dropped open a little, and she blushed deeply. But Harry didn't stop there.

"Did I ever tell you your smile is like Expelliarmus? Its simple, but disarming."

She looked confused, but it didn't stop her from beaming.

"Do you know what the Mirror of the Erised is?"

"Of course, I saw it in first year." She replied, finally getting over her initial shock, a knowing smile coming to her face. Daphne stepped closer to Harry, and whispered in his ear. "You know what I saw, love?"

Harry gulped as her soft lips grazed his ear. "You." She crashed her lips to his, and Harry reacted instantly, wrapping his arms around her petite waist and pulling her closer to him. She ran her hands through his messy raven hair, gently tugging him towards her even more.

There was a low clapping noise, and they both reluctantly broke away from each other and stared at Neville who walked up to them. Neville wagged a finger in Harry's direction. "What did I tell you again? The book holds an inconceivable power."

Pansy finished reading and glanced at the pair seated on the couch with interest. They were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but Pansy's eyes zeroed in on their hands that were slightly touching. Daphne shifted slightly, and she noticed something. It was subtle, but her trained black eyes noticed the little shift Potter made as well, so that he was still touching her hand.

Potter tilted his head and stared at Daphne for a minute. Suddenly he broke into a breathtaking smile. "Are you using a Confundus charm right now?" Daphne shook her head, grinning widely. "Or is your beauty just naturally mind-blowing?"

She beamed at Potter, "Baby if you were a dementor, I'd become a criminal to get your kiss."

He leaned closer to her, "You don't need to become a criminal. You've already stolen my heart, Miss. Greengrass. I'd send you to Azkaban for such a heinous crime, but being without you is like being afflicted by the Cruciatus curse."

Just as they were about to close the already minimal distance between them, Blaise Zabini pulled them apart. "No. NO! NO. We are not going to watch you two go at it in front of all of us. Go get a room."

Just as he said this, a door appeared in the middle of the room. Harry glanced at it curiously before getting up and pushing it open. He grinned and turned back to Zabini. "Okay. We will." He picked Daphne up, bridal style and the two ran into the room, giggling like a bunch of newlyweds.

Hermione stared at her hands in shock. What had just happened? She voiced her thoughts and was met with various shocked responses.

Pansy however, looked smug. "I knew they liked each other. I've suspected it all along."

Her redhead companion though, did not look as sure, "I don't know Pansy. I never really pictured them together."

Ginny grabbed the laptop from Pansy's hands before they could stop her. "Since our most recent couple is busy, " She snickered, "I'll pick the next story for them."

She had some trouble working the muggle contraption, but in a couple minutes she got the hang of it. She scrolled down the page, pausing at times and letting out a small giggle.

Blaise couldn't take any more of this. "Goddammit woman, pick a story already!"

She scowled at him and stuck out her tongue childishly. "Bugger off, Zabini." A wicked smile came on her face as she stared at something on the screen. She clicked on the story and turned to Hermione.

"Here, I think you should read this. Out loud."

Hermione glanced at her best friend suspiciously, but shrugged and began to read the story out loud.

Hermione stared absentmindedly at the clock that hung in the classroom, drumming her fingers against her desk. She glanced half-heartedly at the papers in front of her; mentally deciding she would deal with them later. Right now, she had somewhere more important to be. The bell chimed, signaling the end of the class period, and Hermione sighed with relief. She briefly checked her appearance in the small makeup mirror she carried and smoothed down her hair.

Hermione stopped and glanced up, "It's really strange reading about myself."

"Just read it Hermione!" Ginny insisted. Hermione sighed and continued.

She stood up, pushing herself away from her desk and filed out the door, behind all the other students as they rushed to get to the Great Hall for lunch. She seethed angrily. She could be going down with them, but just this morning she had received a note from the Potions Professor. The note was short and skipped all the formalities, simply demanding to see her in his classroom during lunch. Although she couldn't recall breaking the rules anytime this week, she picked up her Gryffindor courage and decided to muster the trip down to the dungeons.

The dungeons were colder than they usually were during this time of year. She walked in silence, only accompanied by her own thoughts. Anxiously, she wrung her hands together, trying to figure out why the formidable Potions Professor needed to see her.

When she finally reached the classroom, Hermione pushed open the door carefully. There was only one other person in the classroom, leaning against one of the stone walls. She raised her eyebrows at Hermione's arrival.

"Granger." She addressed curtly, "I didn't think I'd see you here, especially at this time of day." The dark haired beauty raised her eyebrows.

"Blaise! I didn't know you were coming!" Hermione exclaimed, pulling the tall woman in for a hug. "When did you get back from Italy?"

She shrugged dispassionately, "I don't know, a couple days ago. I decided to surprise you, and since you weren't at lunch or in your classroom, the only other logical explanation was here." She smirked and twirled a piece of her hair, the sun glinting off a metal band around her finger. It did not go unnoticed by Hermione.

"Oh Merlin, when did this happen?" Hermione gasped, grabbing Blaise's dainty hand. The large cluster of diamonds along the pure gold engagement ring was very ostentatious, but suited Blaise perfectly. "Miss Blaise Zabini, you have some explaining to do!" Hermione demanded, putting her hands on her hips—

"What the shit?" Blaise sputtered, glancing around the room. "Did I just hear, Miss. Blaise Zabini?"

Ginny started to giggle; "I suppose I could imagine you as a girl. You certainly act like a melodramatic one all the time."

Blaise scowled, "It's not my fault you act like some unfeeling quidditch brute."

He frowned and then glanced back at the laptop, "Who do these muggles think they are? Thinking they can change my gender with a stroke of a quill?"

"Actually, it's a click of the keyboard." Hermione corrected.

Blaise looked even more puzzled than before. "A click of a what?"

Hermione shook her head, "Never mind. Let's get back to the story, yes?" She continued on, leaving no room for arguments.

"It's a long story," Blaise said, waving her hand. She chuckled slightly at something behind Hermione. "Besides, I think you're rather busy, so I'll catch up with you later."

Hermione looked confused, but she turned around to wave goodbye to Blaise and her eyes fell on the tall man stepping through the door. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she muttered an apology to Blaise, who simply laughed it off as she left the classroom. As soon as the witch had left, the man turned to Hermione with a scowl.

"Miss Granger, what did I say about meeting people in my classroom?" The Professor asked, strolling over to where she was standing.

"Not to do it, Sir." She said glancing down at her shoes. And then she smirked. "Unless it was you."

"Good girl." The professor nodded. "Now hop up on that desk. I need your assistance with something." He drawled. Hermione nodded and sauntered to the desk, bouncing up and crossing her legs, causing her skirt to ride up on her thighs, exposing her creamy white skin. The Potions Professor stalked over to her and trailed his hand up her legs, stopping at her knees. He pushed them apart, settling himself between her legs. Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she saw the dark, lustful glint in his eyes. It was completely wrong of her to come here. If anyone caught them, both of their reputations would be ruined. But the thrill of danger, the feeling of his hands on her, touching her….it was far too pleasurable to give up.

His hands slid under her skirt, and her breathing grew ragged as his fingers danced across her lacey black knickers-

Hermione slammed the laptop shut, her cheeks reddening furiously. The entire room was silent, and everyone gaped at the curly haired witch.

"Holy shit." Blaise breathed out, leering at Hermione. "You're fucking Snape?!"

"Of course not!" Hermione snapped.

Ginny began to laugh; "I'd always thought that you had strange preferences in men. Remember that time when you dated Pucey back in sixth year?"

"You've dated Pucey as well? My my, Granger. First Krum, then Potter, then Flannigan, then Pucey, and now Snape? Haven't you gotten around?" Malfoy sneered, barely looking up from admiring his well-manicured nails.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She sniffed angrily.

He raised his hands up in a mock surrender. "Nothing, Granger. Nothing at all."

Ginny used the distraction to grab the laptop out of Hermione's hands. "I think we should continue." She announced, barely waiting for a response as she launched into the story.

One hand went up to the pearly buttons holding her lavender colored shirt together. One by one, each button popped off, exposing more and more of her nearly perfect skin. She growled as his lips placed teasing kisses down her neck. Just as he was fiddling with the clasp of her matching black bra, the door flew open.

A very angry Minerva McGonagall stood in the doorway; her eyes alight with part disbelief and part rage. She cleared her throat loudly, and a sulking Blaise Zabini trudged forward. She took one look at them and smiled.

"Well that was fast." She smirked at the entwined lovers. Hermione shrieked and wrapped her shirt around her torso, crossing her legs tightly in the process. She nervously flattened her hair.

"Er, hello Prof- I mean Minerva. We were just-"

"Yes. I can see exactly what you were doing." Minerva commented dryly.

"Or who you were doing." Blaise chimed in, ignoring the scandalized look she got from Hermione.

"It's not what it looks like!" She blurted out, frantically trying to button her top at the same time.

"Clearly." The older woman scoffed. She turned to the man beside Hermione. "Professor Malfoy, hiding behind your wife is not going to make you invisible." She called out.

The Headmistress shook her head in disappointment. "How many times have I told you to use your own private quarters for your…" She trailed off, a distasteful look appearing on her aged features, "meetings. You can't traipse around the castle, sullying my classrooms. What would you do if a student walked in here? They'd be scarred for life!"

"I don't think I look that hideous." Malfoy smirked, ignoring the angry look on the Headmistress's face.

Hermione looked down at her feet, full of mortification. She pinched the side of her husband's arm. "I told you this was a bad idea, Draco!" She hissed.

"A very bad idea, indeed." Minerva agreed. "I know you two are a very amorous couple, and I've never seen anyone more in love-"

"What she wants to say is 'keep it in your pants'" Blaise cut in, grinning unabashedly.

McGonagall crinkled her nose distastefully. "I suppose that's what I meant, to put it in such vulgar language." She nodded at Blaise, "Thank you for informing me of this."

She turned back to the couple, "No more classrooms. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am." Draco Malfoy muttered, playing with a lock of his wife's hair. Then he frowned at Blaise. "Did you rat us out?" He accused.

"Not exactly. I was walking away from the dungeons, when I ran into Minerva. She asked me where I came from, and I tried to steer her away! I really did, but she got suspicious and dragged me back." Blaise confessed.

"I'm glad I did! Lunch would be over in about five minutes, and what would happen if someone else walked in? Not only would I have to pay for that poor child's therapy, but I'd get so many angry parent letters!" Minerva exclaimed.

"The horror!" Blaise gasped. Minerva glanced at the dark haired witch and grabbed her ear. "Come along, Miss Zabini. Let's leave these two alone to tidy themselves up. I have some things I need to talk to you about, such as the fourth year you magically plastered to the wall as a form of punishment."

Hermione turned to Draco as the two witches left. He had a lusty smile on his face as he came closer and closer to her. She glared at him. "No!" She hissed, "No."

He pouted, "But, now she's gone, and there's still a couple minutes left in lunch!"

"I am sitting here, half naked, and completely mortified! Absolutely not!" She barked, hopping down from the desk.

"Whoa, Professor Malfoy, your wife is hot!"

Draco whipped around at the voice, and groaned internally as he saw the black haired sixth year leaning against the door. Hermione shrieked and ran into his office, blushing profusely.

"Marcus, do stop ogling my wife. She's definitely out of your league." Draco drawled, although there was a clear, underlying threat to his voice.

"Sorry, Sir."

"What is it you came here for again?"

His question was answered as several students began to pile into his classroom, laughing and smiling with their friends. They sat themselves down at their appropriate benches and stared at their Professor expectantly. He was about to say something, but his wife came out of his office, looking slightly less rumpled than before.

Her eyes widened at the awaiting class. "Oh, hello. Well, have a great class everyone." She slinked around the room, desperately trying to exit. "Make sure you study well." She stumbled around and blindly crashed into a bench, her arm sending a cauldron flying across the room. "Eat your vegetables." She smiled awkwardly and hurriedly exited the room.

"Professor Malfoy, why was your wife in your office?"

He cleared his throat, "She was helping me make a potion."

The student nodded. Then she turned to her friend and whispered mischievously, "Is that what they're calling sex these days?"

Hermione was bright red, her hands reaching for her laptop and shutting it in one fluid motion. She gave Ginny the dirtiest look she could muster and hissed, "I would sleep with one eye open tonight."

Ginny shrugged, "I live with Fred and George. I'm used to it by now."

Hermione busied herself with fiddling with her laptop, ignoring the shocked looks she was getting from the room's various occupants. There was one very intense gaze in particular she was more than eager to avoid.

"I'm sorry, are we just not going to talk about the fact that Granger was married to Draco?" Pansy remarked with a laugh, "I mean, how ridiculous!"

"It certainly can't be any more ridiculous than you and Weasley," Blaise pointed out. "I mean, Granger and Draco are both at the top of our class," He paused and yanked the laptop out of Hermione's hands, ignoring her protests, "They are both decently attractive, and they both enjoy reading, and they practically ooze unresolved sexual tension. I'd say they might even make a pretty good pair."

Hermione opened and closed her mouth a couple times, fully aware she probably looked like a gaping fish. She sputtered, "Unresolved sexual ten–how can you even–my laptop–I don't know–We hate each other!"

Draco Malfoy shrugged, "I don't hate you, Granger," He shot her a lazy grin, one that resembled a cat, "That particular story was quite fascinating. You know, lately I've been curious about these muggle techno-lollies. Would you like to discuss it over a dinner sometime?"

The room was silent as all heads simultaneously turned to face Hermione Granger. She scrunched her brows and wrinkled her nose as her mind went into overdrive trying to decipher the situation. Eventually she opened her mouth to speak and everyone craned their necks to hear better.

"Do you mean technology? Techno-lollies is not a word." Hermione tried to shush everyone over their annoyed groaning, "And are you asking me on a date, Malfoy?"

Draco Malfoy smirked, "It's just a date. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything. What do you say?"

Hermione took a deep breath and tried to ignore Ginny's very prominent thumbs up motion. She cocked her head to the side and noticed how there was a twinge of nervousness to the Slytherin Prince's normally calm and calculated behavior. He seemed sincere, for once in his life.

"I say–"

Suddenly the door opened, and Harry and Daphne Greengrass emerged from their room, both looking slightly disheveled and sporting bright smiles. Harry had his arms wrapped around her and she leaned against his chest. As they sat down on the sofa they had vacated before, Daphne smiled, even wider if possible, at the silent group.

"Did we interrupt something?" Harry asked, scratching his head sheepishly.

Draco scowled, "Actually, yes–"

Daphne clapped her hands excitedly, cutting off Malfoy's peeved statement, ""Harry Potter, Year 8. In the Room of Requirement's Paris Suite." She declared proudly.

"Oh my god!" Pansy Parkinson exclaimed, staring at her blonde friend. "Harry Potter? And you? You've been in love with him for almost four years now! I can't believe it's finally happening!"

Harry bit his lip and glanced down at her, "Really? Four years?"

Daphne nodded shyly and Harry Potter smiled, leaning down and pressing a kiss on her forehead. "That has got to be the best thing I've heard in my life." He whispered.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes, Potter finally had sex that wasn't out of pity, congratulations. Can we get back to the topic at hand now?"

Blaise Zabini waved his hand dismissively, staring at the laptop screen, "In a second mate, I just found this one story that has my name in the title! It said 'crack-fic' so I think it's about my journey as a struggling wizard addicted to the muggle drugs and how I rose to power in the Curse Breaker department."

"I want to read it! It sounds delightful!" Daphne called out before anyone else. "I never got to read one!"

Blaise shrugged and passed her the laptop, "Just don't mess it up too much."

Daphne nodded, clearing her throat. She paused, "Huh, there's a disclaimer. It says this story is offensive to secretaries. Strange." She shook her head and continued to read aloud.

Blaize Zambini was a strange fellow. He was a man whore. He liked yellow. Bollocks. He also was Voldemort's lover. He liked fish and chips and other British things. By day he would babysit Voldemort's snake, and he dressed it up like a Barbie. He used to say "Oi that tosser Nagini made one ugly Barbie". At nights he would show Voldemort a good time, because he was a hooker. Also. But on Mondays, specifically Mondays, Blair Zamboni went to school because education is v important. He wuz learning to be a Wandmaker and insert British curse here. And also a secretary because Voldemort had a thing for pencil skirts. Also. He died. Alone. Nagini was there, I guess. The end.

Blaise blinked. He kept blinking, trying to drown out the sound of their laughter as it filled the room.

"That was–"

"Horrible! Who would write something like that!" Blaise nearly shrieked, "And my name is Blaise Zabini! Not Zambini! Not Zamboni! And it's certainly not Blair!"

"I think you need to calm down, Zamboni–I mean Zabini." Ron Weasley guffawed, "After all, it's Sunday. You need to rest for tomorrow when you go to Secretary and Wandmaker School."

"Choose a different story, a better one about me." Zabini barked at his housemate. "This isn't fair!"

"Fine. Calm your hippogriffs. Also I don't think that author was British." Daphne laughed.

"You think? They literally said 'insert British curse here'!"

"I think I found a good one," Daphne decided after a while of scrolling past the various works, "And yes, Blaise you're a main character."

She began to read, before anyone could stop her.

Blaise Zabini pressed the girl into the wall, gripping her hips tightly as her long legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to her warm body. He kissed her deeply, inhaling her citrusy scent as her soft red hair brushed against his face.

She tried to say something and he began to kiss down her jawline, peppering kisses along her neck and collarbone. He felt her sigh, and then slightly lean away from his lips.


"Hm?" He mumbled noncommittally, too busy focused on the hint of red lace he could see peeking out of her school shirt.

"What are we doing?" She asked, staring up at the ceiling.

"We are having a very enjoyable snogging session." He responded, reaching one hand to start unbuttoning the top of her shirt.

"I know, but why?"

"Because it's fun." Blaise muttered, already dreading where her train of thought was going. This was supposed to be a strictly physical relationship, but lately she had been trying to turn it into something more. He wasn't completely opposed to the idea, but it seemed far more complicated than what they had now. They'd have to tell their friends, who would definitely disapprove. Then her parents and family, who would probably kill him just hearing his name. He was content where they were. Why complicate it?

"Look, Blaise, I want something serious, something real." She admitted, unwrapping her legs and sliding down his tall frame. She leaned against the wall, careful not to touch him.

Blaise rolled his eyes, "Uh, we are real."

She sighed, "I want to go out on actual dates and be seen in public with you, not just shag in broom closets and abandoned corridors. I want the whole girlfriend experience!"

Blaise felt his jaw tick, "Why are you always trying to complicate everything. You always try to turn something simple into something overly complex in that annoying little head of yours. I don't want to be tied down right now, I told you that!"

She gritted her teeth together, "You don't want to be 'tied down'? Fine then. You're free. We're done."

Blaise shrugged, "Fine."

She stepped away from him and adjusted her shirt before walking away. Blaise stared at where she had been writhing against him just a moment before as it sunk in.

He and Ginny Weasley had just broken up. He cursed softly, "Fuck."

Ginny avoided him for weeks. At first, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was free again. Nobody could hold him back. He didn't think he'd miss her. Blaise Zabini just didn't miss his flings, no matter how much he liked Ginny Weasley.

He found out he was wrong about that when any girl he tried to hook up with turned into the feisty redhead in his mind. Everyone else was too boring, too blonde, too tarty, too tall, etc. Ginny was…she was perfect. Fuck. He was definitely missing her.

She didn't even talk to him lately. Even in prefect meetings, she'd pointedly turn away from him and pay full attention to Head Girl Granger even though that girl's lectures dulled everyone to sleep. At meals, she never even glanced at him, even though he was sure he rarely looked at anything that wasn't her. To his growing displeasure, he realized she had taken to sitting with that Irishman, Flannigan, at every single meal. Not only that, but she laughed at all his stupid Irish jokes. They were all probably about leprechauns or something. Blaise snorted in amusement.

He wasn't so amused a couple days later when he heard from Pansy who head from Millicent who heard from Padma who heard from Parvati that Ginny and Flannigan were dating. He didn't even understand how much it affected him until he saw them snuggling near the lake, and he punched the window in a sudden rage.

Okay, so maybe he was a little jealous, he decided as he watched the two laugh together in the Great Hall while he pressed a bag of ice to his hand. He was doing fine. But if Flannigan didn't remove his hand from Ginny's bum in three seconds he was going to fucking cut it off.

Something inside of him snapped as he watched Flannigan lean in closer and press his lips against hers. Blaise felt his already bruised and cut up hand clench into a fist as he marched over and yanked the boy off of Ginny. He briefly considered using his wand, but physical violence seemed like the better option at this point.

"Oi Flannigan, it's bad form to kiss another bloke's girlfriend, you bloody wanker!" He growled, winding back and punching the Irishman in the face. His face contorted in agony as he cradled his already damaged hand to his chest.

"She's your girlfriend?" Flannigan stuttered, his voice blending into the gasped that were heard throughout the hall.

"Yes, she is, I hope," Blaise turned to face Ginny, "Gin, I'm so sorry. It's always been you. I love you so much. A week without you felt like eternal misery, and I need you. Please forgive me, I'm begging you."

Ginny Weasley sighed and cocked her head to the side, "I want a dozen roses."


"And a treacle tart."


"And that new Firebolt 5002"

"Anything you want, it's yours."

Ginny smiled, "Blaise, I'm kidding. Of course I forgive you, you idiot."

Blaise grinned as he pulled her into a searing kiss, and as he retold the story years later to their children, he still claimed that everyone in the hall cheered.

Daphne glanced up from the laptop, raising an eyebrow between Blaise and Ginny Weasley. Blaise seemed to be almost angry while Ginny Weasley was looking down at her feet, quiet for once this evening.

"Well that's not how the story went at all!" Blaise shouted, springing up from his seat on the couch.

Hermione stared between the two, "What do you mean?"

Blaise glared at Ginny pointedly, "Do you want to tell them or should I?"

Ginny sighed, "I'll tell them," She swept her gaze over the rest of the room and scowled, "Fucking gossips, all of you. If you must know, Blaise and I actually did have a secret relationship a couple years ago, and we broke up pretty similarly to the way it happened in that story."

Blaise shook his head, ignoring the shocked looks, "Nuh uh, Ginevra Weasley! You tell them exactly what is wrong with the story."

Ginny exhaled loudly, "Fine. In the story, I wanted to go public but Blaise didn't so we broke up and the rest happened. But when we actually broke up, it was flipped. Blaise wanted to go public but I didn't."

Blaise nodded, "Exactly! I don't know about the rest of the story, but that author got it mixed up! Ginny wanted to be free and whatnot, while I wanted commitment."

Draco snorted, "Congrats, you're the woman of the relationship."

Ginny eyed Blaise across the room. "Well they got one thing right," She admitted.

Blaise raised an eyebrow in challenge, "And what was that?"

Ginny took a deep breath, "It was accurate that Blaise–well me–I missed you a lot. I regretted it as soon as we broke up."

The self assured expression on his face faltered, "Uh–what?"

Ginny nodded, "I wanted to tell you I missed you and wanted you back, but I heard from Seamus who heard from Dean who heard from Terry Boot who heard from Theodore Nott that you started dating Padma Patil. I realized I was too late."

"Well, Padma dumped me for Nott. So technically, it's not too late," Blaise said carefully.

Ginny stared at him and her eyes lit up. She smiled and walked over to his seat, kneeling down so she could hold his hand in hers. "Blaise, I'm so sorry. It's always been you. I love you so much. A week–I mean two years– without you felt like eternal misery, and I need you. Please forgive me, I'm begging you."

"You can't even come up with your own heartfelt apology speech slash declaration of love? You had to copy mine?" Blaise exclaimed in disbelief.

"You didn't even write it, though!" Ginny pointed out.

"You know what, I want a dozen roses now." Blaise snapped.


"And a treacle tart." He added with a smile.


"And that new Firebolt 5002."

She cocked her head to the side, "How about I just offer to sleep with you?"

"And you're forgiven!" Blaise smiled, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his arms, "Now lets go make due on that promise."

Ronald Weasley cringed, "You know that I, the brother, am right here. I don't want to hear about this!"

"Oh Ron, hush. They're so cute." Pansy Parkinson fawned.

"Aw, Harry look they're holding hands like we were doing a couple hours ago–" Daphne paused and turned away, "Oh, they're stripping now. That was fast."

Draco Malfoy nodded, "Yes, yes, they're all very cute, oh so cute." He turned to look at Hermione. "Granger," He barked, "You still haven't answered my question yet."

"Oh, what the hell. How about I…. tell you in the Potions classroom?" Hermione Granger grinned, getting up from her position on the couch and walking over to the blonde Slytherin.

Draco Malfoy smiled, leaning closer and snaking a hand around her waist. Then he scolded her, "Merlin Granger, that's still not a yes or no answer you daft witch–"

She rolled her eyes and crashed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer. She glanced up at him through her lashes and smirked, "Does that answer your question?"

He tried to fight the smile on his lips, "Yes, I suppose that's a sufficient answer."

"Wait, are we going to do anything about the people who are writing barmy stories about our lives and setting us up with weird people?" Ron Weasley asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

The occupants of the room shrugged.

"Well, they got us together, so I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to spread the love." Daphne pointed out.

Blaise paused from getting reacquainted with his girlfriend's body and looked up with an expression of pure disturbance on his face, "Just no crack fics, please!"

A/N: Sorry Blaise, I tried, but this whole fic is just one giant crack-fic.