It's dark and the gunshots echo and then all Umut knows is the echoing of silence. He's vaguely aware of voices, more gun fire, yells to 'drop your weapon now'. He'd assume it might be the police if he didn't have zero faith in that department. Zero faith in anyone but his 'Abi' anyway. Speaking of…Sarp's silent. His voice isn't one that rings out and Umut shudders. He can feel the blood spilling out of him and he shakes violently, he's not sure if it's shock or fear for his brother. Who shot who? Is Sarp alive? Sarp needs to be alive.
He tries to open his eyes but his eyelids are too heavy, thick and weighed down. He's shaking, he feels hot and cold all at once and he wants his big brother. Are they really destined to die here? While Celal, the monster walks free? While his mother potentially mourns two sons. One she only just found again. It's not fair. But then when has Umut's life ever been fair?
It's strange thinking of himself as Umut now. He's been Mert Karadag since he was old enough to choose his name. 'Mert Karadag' It sounded strong, independent, fierce, uncomplicated. It was a front. A front to make him sound and act and feel stronger on the streets. Aging himself came hand in hand. People were less likely to abuse an older kid, it was a street fact and one Mert had learned quickly for self preservation. Survival was the key, survival was always the key. Keep people away, don't get too close, don't get attached. Survive.
He was a scared, lonely, complicated child and Mert Karadag sounded like the opposite of that. Mert Karadag was the illusion he'd lived with his whole life and now it felt like Met and Umut, his very own Jekyll and Hyde were warring within him. Mert wanted to survive, HAD to survive. Umut wanted his brother. Neither were currently getting what they wanted.
More gunfire. He feels tired. Bone tired from the tips of his fingers to his toes. It would be easy to fall asleep. To let himself go. His inner Mert is screaming, his inner Umut just wants rest. 'Abi' he whispers thinking of his brother. Of the wasted opportunities but mostly he thinks of the joy, of the absolute feeling of completeness when he was back in his arms, under his watch. 'I won't let them take your Umut away again', that's what he'd told his brother. Because he was, wasn't he? Sarp's Umut mainly? He belonged to his brother in a way he had never belonged to anyone before. He adored Eylem she completed him, she filled parts of his heart he thought he'd never be able to fill but Sarp, Sarp was different.
Long before he'd known he was Umut he'd known the depth of Sarp's endless devotion to his lost brother, to the forever missing child. He'd hated Sarp then but that, that was one of the things he'd respected. Perhaps the biggest thing. 'Open your eyes Abi, no more hide and seek.' He was so sick of playing that 20 year game. He'd been hiding most of his life now they'd finally found one another. He'd needed Sarp to pull the trigger, needed him to stop that threat to his life. Not for himself, he was pretty sure he wasn't making it out of this but for Sarp. He couldn't live with them getting away again, with the hide and seek taunting and tormenting him for another 20 years. Sarp deserved peace. Even with Umut dead, he deserved them gone. Blown off the face of the planet.
There's a lull in the gunfire. Umut tries to roll himself over, to move a hand, to do anything but all that comes out is a weak moan. 'S…Sarp' he manages.
And then there's a flutter by his ear, a movement, a shuffle. And then there's a hand on his face, in his hair, 'Umut, Umut I'm here…it's ok, it's ok, I'm here. Open your eyes for me kardesim. Open them.'
His Abi. His Abi is here, and alive. His breaths are short and huffs and Umut imagines he's in a great deal of pain, maybe they both are dying here. Umut wants to open his eyes, he really wants to but he still can't manage it. 'Abi…' he breathes and then he coughs and he can taste the tangy metal of blood in his mouth, feels it fall down his chin. Oh god. He's bleeding out.
'Kardesim, I'm here, I'm here little brother. You're ok, you're going to be fine. I promise, I promise you Umut.'
Sarp's voice is husky, panicked, attempting to be reassuring, the wobble in his voice the only thing that betrays the total fear he's feeling. He feels hands stroking his cheek and then he's being jostled and he whites out in pain. He must scream because Sarp's apologising then, over and over and he realises he's in his brother's lap now that Sarp is cradling him. He wills any strength he has left to his eyelids and slowly, slowly, he opens them. Sarp is staring down at him, wide eyed, blood on his face, pale and white and the most beautiful thing Umut has ever seen in his life. 'There you are' Sarp whispers. The gun shots echo on behind him.
'Let me tell you a story Umut…there were two brothers right..' he strokes Umut's face. It feels nice. 'And these two brothers encountered a monster in the forest…' there's a part of Umut that recognises this. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows this. 'And the monster took the little boys big brother…' No he thinks. No he can't. And then Sarp's eyes dart away from his, his voice breaks off 'IN HERE!' He screams 'WE NEED HELP! HE NEEDS HELP. HELP!'
And Mert feels the energy fading. Feels his body shutting down. 'What happened Abi?' he spits, the blood making its way down his chin with a vengeance. Sarp looks down in total fear now. He thumbs the blood away from Umut's mouth.
'Did they kill the monster…Did they kill it?'
'Of course they did little brother'. He says softly, so softly now. And there are people behind him now, behind his brother, blurry shapes and shouts and there are hands on him but he keeps his eyes on Sarp's face. Sarp is yelling and screaming and he can hear his name over and over. And Umut is choking. He's choking. Sarp's hands are on his face, tilting him, trying to stop him choking on his own blood. 'You found me Abi', Umut manages between coughs 'no more hide and seek'.
'No more hide and seek' Sarp promises and then everything goes mercifully black.