This was a bad day for Kosaku. He didn't get coffee in the morning because Shinobu hadn't bought it. He chose to drink tea instead but it didn't give him a boost for a workday today. He thought going to the office early and get a cup of black coffee there, but the damn train was late over 5 minutes. He also had to sit next to two loud teenager girls which was a hell for his ears. He had ran from the station to the office, hoping his co-workers wouldn't be there yet. As he had opened the doors and walked into the break room, there was already one his co-workers sipping coffee and reading a newspaper. Kosaku had turned around and went to do his work without that coffee he wanted.
Kosaku cursed himself for being a coward and not getting coffee. He needed it. He was tired and in a bad mood. His fingers tapped the keyboard slower and there were mistakes in every sentence. But the co-worker, who was at the break room before him, had been Kira Yoshikage. Kosaku liked him, no, admired the man. Kira was like him but more charming, calmer and better in every way. Kosaku never saw him eating lunch with others or having a conversation with someone. Kira never opened his mouth at the meetings and he left home after others. "Ordinary" described him the best.
Kosaku was also ordinary but that wasn't the word people described him. No, Kawajiri Kosaku was quiet and cowardly. He was always apologizing about everything he did and couldn't never say no. He was an awkward man to talk with because he simply didn't speak much. It was a miracle that he was once a popular boy among girls. Must had been because of his looks since he was the most handsome boy in their class in junior high school. But everything else in Kosaku put him in shame. His worst fears were being robbed, getting in a fight and public humiliation. He was scared of horror and hated romance movies but liked dramatic ones. He disliked cats and wanted a dog but Shinobu was a huge cat-lover and had demanded a cat in their home. He didn't enjoy talking about his personal feelings with anybody and kept his problems to himself. Kosaku thought about all of this while he stared the screen in front of him. He needed a break, seriously.
Kosaku poured coffee in his mug and went to drink it in the corner. He sat on the chair and took a sip. He got his coffee after waiting a lady to finish her break for about 15 minutes outside the room. For his luck, there were no disturbers coming in. Kosaku drank his coffee in peace but the sweet moment didn't last long: Kira stepped in. He walked over the coffee machine and poured coffee for himself. Kosaku was nervous until he remembered that Kira drank his coffee alone as well. This time Kira walked right next to him and sat down.
Kosaku felt anxiety growing inside but he tried to act calm. His co-worker only sat down beside him to drink his coffee. But thinking about it made Kosaku feel more anxiety. Kira was like that cool kid in school you respected and feared. Kosaku wanted to make a good impression which meant he had to open his mouth. His throat was dry even though he had just sipped coffee and his lips felt like they were glued together. He swallowed, took a sip, repeated his words in his mind, turned his head and finally opened his mouth:
"H-ho-..uhm...How's...your day..been." The words came out slow and even Kosaku had a hard time understanding what he had stuttered.
"Hm? What did you say?" Kira turned his head and he looked irritated, at least that was what it seemed like to Kosaku. He had to swallow again and he cleared his throat.
"I said...How's your day?"
"Ah, it has been...alright."
Silence. They both sipped their coffee in the same time and looked elsewhere. It was more awkward than before for Kosaku and he believed Kira was thinking same. But he couldn't give in yet. He had to continue, no matter how painfully awkward it all were.
"Are you going to work late today?" This time he didn't stutter.
"Yes, I must. The boss changed his mind and wanted me to work overtime. He told me about it this morning."
"That sucks... I work late nearly every day but today is an exception."
"I hate sudden changes in my schedule. Excuse me if my tone sounds rude but it's all because of today. I had to drink my morning coffee and read the newspaper in here because the boss called me early. It messed up my usual morning routine," Kira sighed. This caught Kosaku's interest. It sounded like him when he has to change his routine.
"I can relate. I hate it too when my routine is broken. Today we didn't have coffee at home and this is my first cup today. It's a small thing but it got me upset."
"I know, right? Small things happened me too and it made me annoyed. I had to go work 20 minutes earlier just for coffee and a newspaper. I went by train and an old lady got chatty with me. I was struggling to keep on smiling to her."
"And I traveled next to two loud teenagers who talked about nonsense."
Kira chuckled. He looked less tensed now. Kosaku couldn't believe it; he was having a conversation with Kira Yoshikage. He wasn't anxious anymore which was new. He thought Kira was someone hard to speak with but they were similar. Confidence rose in Kosaku and it let him relax.
"If I remember right, you have a wife and a child, yes?" Kira asked.
"Yes, I do. How did you know?"
"I do remember you saying that when we had to introduce ourselves when a new boss came. How are they?"
"They're...fine," Kosaku looked at his mug which was empty.
"Is that all? You do seem...exhausted every day. You work harder than me."
"I have to say, I am. Family life isn't that easy."
"But you are happy, right?"
Kosaku wondered what to say. Was he happy? No, he wasn't. Shinobu was disappointed in him and their love had been dead for years. Hayato didn't talk and he didn't talk with him either. He couldn't pay the rent even though he did overwork each week. He tried to get a promotion but he was like dust for his boss. His life was so simple yet so exhausting and worthless. Every day was the same expect this one. Kosaku struggled to find a good answer, but Kira continued:
"I understand if you don't want to talk about it..," he looked at his watch,"Oh, it's our time to head back to work. It was pleasing to talk with you, Kawajiri-san."
"With you too, Kira-san," Kosaku answered.
Kira smiled his usual charming smile and walked out. Kosaku didn't know what to think about the conversation. Was it so obvious that he wasn't happy? And did Kira care or was he only pointing it out? But Kosaku had to go work as well and try to forget those questions.
The rest of the workday went casually. Kosaku and Kira didn't see each other and soon it was already an evening. Time to head back home and Kosaku knew what waited there; a stressed wife ready to insult his every movement and word. He rubbed his eyes and took his jacket. He was ready to leave the office until someone called his name behind. Kosaku turned around and Kira stood there.
"I just wanted to talk before you leave, if you don't mind."
"N-no, go ahead."
"I don't want to sound pushy but are you heading straight home?"
"Uhm...Oh, yes, I'm not going to the bar like others do after work. I don't drink and my wife would only get more upset with me if I did."
"Then we think same. A glass of fine wine alone at home is much better than drinking cheap beer at the bar."
"If only I could have a night for myself..." Kosaku was slightly jealous to Kira. He must have been single since the office's women flirted at him each week and he didn't wear a ring. His life sounded peaceful and organized and that was what Kosaku wanted his life to be too.
"Be happy that you can spent your time at home alone."
"All I desire is a peaceful life. I'm not against marriage but a family is way too much to take, if you understand. Children are just...a pain, at least to me. Of course they can be sweet sometime, but it takes too much time to take care of their needs," Kira confessed. He continued:
"Do you want a peaceful life, Kawajiri-san?"
"Me? Well, of course. My peaceful life ended when I got married."
"That's what I thought... You seem unhappy with your life."
"It's sadly true..."
"Then you know how I feel. Family life is suppose to bring more happiness, but like in your case, it has only bought you misery. I don't want this to happen to myself which is why I'm careful with love. Although I must admit," Kira gave a small smirk," even a simple man like me has experience with relationships. And women are shown to rotten as time passes with them."
"So you do have a girlfriend?"
"Hmm~ no, but I had a week ago. I'm not sad at all. She was lovely but I chose to cut our ties since she turned out to be rotten as my ex-girlfriend before her," Kira chuckled but it sounded sinister. He was amused about something and the smirk he wore now wasn't kind one. Kosaku thought he was being paranoid but Kira sounded and looked at him like a psychopath.
"I'm awfully sorry for keeping you here so long, Kawajiri-san, but it's rare to find someone who understands."
"I'm not in hurry. I enjoy talking with you too. I never thought someone here likes to speak with me."
"It's odd. You're appealing."
The atmosphere took a small turn. Kosaku knew he overreacted in his head but no man had ever called him appealing. He wasn't even sure what Kira fully meant but he was flattered. He still admired the man and felt small attraction towards him. Kosaku had thought about his sexuality and calling himself straight didn't feel right. He understood what bi-curiosity meant and it seemed like a right term for himself. He had fantasized of having sex with another male a few times in his bedroom and it had made him more aroused than real sex with his own wife.
"Thanks... You're a charming man as well," Kosaku gave a small smile.
"This may sound weird, but take it as a compliment; you have great hands."
"Yes, great hands. I never see dirt under the nails and they don't stink. I value hand hygiene. And your fingers work fast on the keyboard."
"Ah, I'm sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?"
"No, I just don't know what to say... Thanks for noticing." It was also strange to hear a man complimenting his hands. Kira took a step closer and held his hand out:
"May I...touch your hand, Kosaku?"
Kira called him by his first name! Kosaku was confused. Things had turned from friendly into this and it must had been Kira's plan. There were many questions going on in Kosaku's head but fortunately he didn't feel anxiety rising. He thought about saying no and leaving but Kira behaved in a way he never was seen. He was breathing heavier than before and the hand he was holding out trembled a little. If Kosaku read the situation right, Kira was aroused. They were only ones at the office right now. Kosaku swallowed and put his right hand top of Kira's.
"Thank you..." Kira brought his hand closer to his face and sniffed. He examined its every digit and the palm to find anything unpleasant. Kosaku watched as his hand was tested out for something he didn't know yet.
"Huh, your hand is prettier than I expected. Nothing disgusting found," Kira said with a satisfied hum and put the index finger in his mouth. Kosaku winced at this and his cheeks turned red. He didn't make any noise even though his finger was being violated in the man's mouth. Kira had a perverted look on his face and he made tiny sounds. He took the finger out when he had enough of sucking and gave small licks over the hand. Kosaku didn't do anything to protest. It must had been the weirdest moment in his life but it was also arousing to see his co-worker licking and kissing his hand.
Kira gave the last kiss on his palm and sighed. He let the hand go and wiped his sweaty forehead. Kosaku glanced down and there was a visible bulge in Kira's pants.
"I'd love to continue this but I must go back. I needed some relief for the night. Thank you for offering your hand. This was new to me too, I haven't ever licked a man's hand before, but it was good."
"I know you're confused. This came without a warning but you didn't say no. But don't tell anyone about this, alright? If you do, it only means I have to eliminate your existence. But don't worry, I want to keep you. We're similar souls with the same goal and I know how lonely you are, Kosaku. So let's make a deal, hm?"
"You let me use your hands whenever I want while I keep you company and listen to your problems. Would you like that? It's a simple deal."
"What? I-...Wait, are you going to use my hands to satisfy your sexual needs?"
"Yes. I'd cut them and keep one of them but you're fun to talk with, so I want you alive. You can say no and I can kill you off since you know my secret or say yes and keep your pity life."
Kosaku didn't want to die but this was unbelievable. Kira Yoshikage was a perverted psychopath, not the man he pretended to be. He could had run away and call police. But he didn't. He wasn't brave enough to stop a criminal. He let this happen and see where it would lead. Kira was right about his loneliness and needed someone to talk with. Kira must had known how cowardly Kosaku was and that's why chose him as his victim. That's why he had been sitting next to him and acted friendly. It all had been planned.
"Well, speak up already. I have work to do," Kira interrupted Kosaku's thinking.
"Of course you do," Kira patted his cheek and smirked," We'll have so much fun together, Kosaku."
He left after saying that. Kosaku had made a deal with a devil and for what? To have someone to be friends with or was it even a friendship? He took his case and left the building. He went straight home and acted like nothing had happened at the office. If there was something Kawajiri Kosaku was good at, it was hiding his emotions and keeping a secret. Without those two talents he would be dead already.