WRITER'S NOTE: This is my first official "Hey Arnold!" Fanfiction work.
It was inspired by the episode: "What's Opera Arnold?" where the Hey Arnold! gang all played parts in Bizet's opera "Carmen". It came to me after watching the May 2002 hit movie: "Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Clones". I was watching the "sword fight" between "Don Arnold" and "Curlamillo" and as I did so, I began to imagine Arnold, not dressed as a soldier, but as Jedi Padawan Anikan Skywalker and wielding a blue light saber and Curly dressed in Darth Maul's black robes with a red, duel-sided light saber, not battling to Bizet's "Carmen Overture", but to John Williams "Duel of the Fates" from the Star Wars Episode I soundtrack, and the rest came to me gradually over time.
This story was first posted in its rough draft form at It took four months to complete and became Episode I of what would ultimately become a three story trilogy! Of course, at because of their rules, I needed to gloss over some violent parts and water down some other scenes. Nor was all of the trilogy posted before I could finish it.
But now, no longer held back by message board rules...because here, I make them BWHA!HA!HA!HA!HA!...I present to you all three parts of what is probably the longest Hey Arnold! Fanfic ever written.
If anyone can find a longer one, let me know and send a complete text. -D.R.
Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I neither own Hey Arnold! nor Star Wars. Master Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon owns Hey Arnold! and Master George Lucas and Lucasfilm owns Star Wars, but if both of them ever decided to create a story based on both (as well as got the legal okay to do it) I would probably look something like this. I only regret that Jim Lang and John Williams couldn't combine both soundtracks as well...just use your imaginations.
A long time ago, in a neighborhood far, far away...
Big Bob Strikes Back!
Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic as Agents of the Dark Side of the Force gather to formulate a sinister plot with the assistance of the greedy Trade Federation to destroy both the Galactic Republic and the Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the Galaxy...
Part One: The Phantom Menace
Staring at the scenic viewpoint on top of one of the tallest buildings overlooking much of the great city scape of the Planet Courasant, the Capital of the Galactic Republic, The Dark Emperor of the Sith looked out at the horizon of bright lights, traffic and spaceflights constantly arriving and departing with amusement.
Of course, none of those millions of beings could see the Sith Lord, not believed that the section of the great city where the figure stood was inhabited as it had been destroyed in a great fire a decade ago. It was cloaked in a deep black darkness as dark as his own twisted soul.
The Emperor smiled beneath the hooded black cloak, preferring it that way. In the shadows.
But soon, the Dark Lord thought, the shadows will overcome the light...as it is meant to.
The Sith Emperor heard noise from behind. The Dark Lord didn't need to turn around to see who approached.
"Is everything set in place, Lord Curly?" The evil figure asked, not turning from the view, but waving Darth Curly to come over with the barest movement of a thin hand.
Darth Curly stood next to his master. A pale-faced kid with short, black hair and red-lenses in the eyewear that covered his intense eyes. Like his master, the other Sith Lord was covered in a black hooded cloak.
"All is in order, my master," Darth Curly replied, with the barest hint of excitement and impatience in his voice. "At last, we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi, at last, we will have revenge."St
The Emperor frowned slightly, "Patience, my young servant. You always seemed to have a problem with that."
Patience was one of the only aspects of the Jedi character that the Sith Emperor approved of.
"There is another matter of some concern we must address," The Emperor said, still looking out at the distant lights and life, centering on the negative aspects of all that life, the greed, the corruption, the lies...
The Dark Side of the Force.
"There is a great disturbance in the Force, Lord Curly. We have a new Jedi enemy, Arnold Skywalker."
Darth Curly's response to that was a snort of disbelief. "He's nothing but a Padawan! Gerald Windu and Master Phoebe could not have possibly prepared him for us!"
"The Force is strong with him," The Emperor said, annoyance thick in the Dark Lord's voice. "Skywalker must never become a Jedi. He must never be allowed to interfere with our plans."
"My master, Skywalker and Master Stinky will be the ones sent to negotiate the dispute in the Naboo system, that has already been seen to." Darth Curly said. "Not only will we soon have a new ally in our quest, but we can be rid of Skywalker as well."
The Sith Emperor finally turned from the view to look at Darth Curly. All that could be seen was a very white mouth with thin, colorless lips. Everything above the nose was shadowed by the deep hood, except for two bright, cruel eyes. Eyes that looked as if they could see inside a person's very soul and find the thing that person was most afraid of.
"One way, or another, she must join us, Lord Curly." The Sith Emperor stated flatly. "Can it be done?"
"She will join us, or die, my master," he said, kneeling at his master's feet. He smiled an evil smile underneath his own black hood.
The Emperor laughed. It wasn't a pleasant sound.
"You are in charge then, Lord Curly. See to it personally, there can be no mistakes. Senator Helga must be ours and Arnold Skywalker must die!"
Darth Curly bowed, "I live only to serve you, my master."
The Dark Lord smiled wickedly through thin lips. "Of course...you do."
If anyone were still inhabiting the area, they would have heard a cruel, evil cackle of laughter from the darkness. A laughter that belonged to the servants and masters of that same darkness.
A Republic starship bearing the colors of the diplomatic corps and its ambassadorial neutrality emerges from hyperspace near the bright, blue-green planet of Naboo. In orbit of the planet hovered a large round ship, white with a blocky ring broken near the front in a C-shape, a Trade Federation Battleship.
"Captain," came a drawled-accented voice from the back of the ship. "Tell them fellers we wish to speak to the Viceroy immediately."
The Captain of the ship and her co-pilot flew the ship through the darkness to their destination. The female Captain activated the comm channel to the sinister battleship.
"Trade Federation Battleship, this is the Republic cruiser Alliance. We have on board ambassadors from the Supreme Chancellor who request an immediate audience with Viceroy Wolfgang. Acknowledge."
The view screen came to life and a blonde female officer wearing a black uniform with hat and a sour expression on her face responded, "I am Commander Nadine, the Viceroy's aide. You have permission to land on Dock C. Viceroy Wolfgang has been expecting you." There was a slight smile at that.
The Captain nodded, "Thank you, Commander." The screen went blank.
The Republic ship landed in the dock where dozens of Trade Federation Battle Droids stood as an honor guard near a golden humanoid droid. The plank lowered and two figures cloaked in brown hooded cloaks emerged from the ship, one tall and the other short. The golden droid walked over to them.
"Hello, I am Sid 3PO, human-cyborg relations," The droid said in introduction. "My master's sent me here to assist you to the waiting room."
The taller Jedi nodded and said, "Okie Dokie."
Sid 3PO lead them to a small waiting room where he goes about serving them refreshments. The two Jedi lower their hoods to reveal two of the Jedi heroes of this story, Master Jedi Stinky Kenobi and his Padawan, Arnold Skywalker.
"I have a bad feeling about this," Arnold said, as he looked out the window at the planet below, though his green eyes held a half-lidded, unfocused gaze to them, as if he were lost in thought.
"I don't sense anything," Stinky said.
Arnold turned to look at Stinky, a serious look on his face. "It's not about the mission, but elsewhere. Something cold...elusive..."
The master Jedi put a hand on his learner's shoulder. "Be mindful of the current mission, Arnold. The Trade Federation has to stop blockading this planet. We need to understand why they are doing this now. Chancellor Olga is depending on us."
"I know, Master Stinky," Arnold said nodding, "but this feeling is just so..."
"Don't center on your anxieties, young padawan. Remember what Masters Gerald and Phoebe taught you about being mindful of the present?"
The padawan sighed in frustration, from being reminded of something he'd been told a hundred times. "Yes, master Kenobi."
Meanwhile, on the bridge of the starship, treachery was being planned.
Trade Federation Viceroy Wolfgang stood looking at a large screen showing the surveillance video of the waiting room and the two Jedi ambassadors awaiting his presence.
He heard a snort of disgust and turned to see his second in command, Grand Moff Rhonda Gunray looking at the screen, a loathing look on her face.
"No fashion sense what-so-ever!" Rhonda muttered. "Those brown robes and those tacks hair-styles!"
"Well, that doesn't matter, what does matter is they have arrived just as Lord Curly said they would." Wolfgang said.
The Viceroy turned to Commander Nadine, "Contact Darth Curly at once!"
Commander Nadine nodded and began to work the panel.
A moment later, Viceroy Wolfgang and Grand Moff Rhonda stood before a hologram of the Dark Lord of the Sith.
"What is it, Viceroy?" Darth Curly asked, although his voice was calm.
"The two Jedi have arrived, just as you planned, my Lord," Wolfgang said, smiling evilly.
"Good, Now is the time. Send down your droids and capture Senator Helga and then notify me once it has been done."
Wolfgang turned to Commander Nadine. "See that the bounty hunter has everything ready, Commander."
Nadine bowed and left the bridge.
"What of the two Jedi, my lord?" Rhonda asked the Sith Lord.
Darth Curly smiled cruelly, "The Chancellor should not have sent them there..." he chuckled about something that neither Wolfgang nor Rhonda understood, nor really wanted to ask about. "...destroy them both!"
"Understood, master." Wolfgang said, bowing to the hologram which deactivated.
Wolfgang turned to the command battle droid near her, "Send a platoon of battle droids and Droid Dekas down to the waiting room and destroy the Jedi...and while your at it, get rid of Sid 3PO too. He's really getting too annoying!"
"Roger-roger!" The droid answered.
In the landing dock, the Captain of the Republic Cruiser Alliance and her co-pilot had just enough time to register shock before their ship was destroyed by internal blaster cannons. The explosion rocked the entire battleship.
Feeling the explosion, as well as the loss of the two lives through the living Force, both Arnold and Stinky leaped to their feet and activated their light sabers, Stinky holding a green blade and Arnold a light blue one.
Sid 3PO dropped the drinks and tray. "Boy howdy! W-what's going on!"
Arnold went to the door and tested it. "Locked."
Suddenly, the room began to fill with poisonous gasses. Both the Jedi deactivated their light sabers and took deep breaths while Sid 3PO shouted, "OH NO! WE'RE DOOMED!"
Arnold felt Master Stinky tap him on the shoulder and seemed to point to something before the colored gasses blocked their vision.
Watching the monitor on the bridge as the Jedi and the unfortunate Sid 3PO vanished from sight, Viceroy Wolfgang and Grand Moff Rhonda chuckled in glee.
Wolfgang opened a communication with the droids awaiting outside the waiting room.
"They must be dead by now, now go smash what's left of them."
"Roger-roger!" The droid commander answered.
The gas filters and fans began to empty the deadly clouds from the room as the doors opened. Looking through the doorway and watching from the monitor, the Trade Federation leaders and the battle droids expected to find two dead Jedi Knights and a panicked droid.
Instead, the room was empty, and the vent shaft cover was removed.
"FIND THEM!" Viceroy Wolfgang shouted angrily.
To Be Continued . . .