We walked in semi-awkward silence to who knows where. I finally decided enough was enough.

"Soo... Where are we going?"

"Oh, back to the old base."

"Wait, I thought you said we were—"

"I was lying so XCOM wouldn't bother us. And besides, nobody at Advent knows I just attacked that jerk, and XCOM definitely won't let him go."

"Huh, but what about the whole sending me to be processed thing."

"Eh, I'll say you're somebody else."

"Cool, cool."

There was a pause before I asked,

"It's been a crazy few weeks, huh."


"Feels like it went super fast."

"That's life. One moment you're a neonate with dreams of being a whale biologist, the next you're dating a human at your dead end job."

"...Hey, speaking of your job. Something has been bugging me for a while."


"Remember when I got fried by electricity? Well, why'd you save me? You hated me!"



"You would not believe how much paperwork a dead employee makes. I always fire somebody before I kill them. That's what happened to the janitor."


"Yup. I fired him and immediately threw him out a window. I then picked his broken, yet still living, body up and suffocated him with my tail."


"Yup. But you were both too useful and too fun to torment to kill. Remember when I made you clean my quarters, that was funny."

"I didn't think you could sweat until then because snakes don't sweat."

"Timmothy... do snakes have boobs and arms?"


"So why would you assume that I don't sweat. I am an alien. It's just... a bit different than how humans sweat."

"How so?"

"Don't ask."

We walked a bit further before I said,

"That second night, after I cleaned, I had a disturbing dream about you."

"Oh? Was I eating you alive."

"Well... part of me anyway... I saw your lingerie."

She snickered.

"I guess the temptation was simply too great for a himan to handle and you had to fantasize about me."

"You realize I don't control my dreams, right?"

She shrugged and we kept walking.

"Anyway, I think it."


I almost spun around before Tassali grabbed me.

"Cool guys don't look at explosions, Timmothy."

I shook my head as rubble rained down around us.

"I swear, sometimes it feels like my life is being orchestrated by an incredibly unmotivated high schooler."

(Author's Note)

I'm lazy. But here it is! I have no idea when the sequel will be coming out, but I figured that I should do this. Not too shabby for my first actual story, if I do say so myself. It's not great, but it's mine.