Five Years Later

"Papa! I wanted to wear the pwink dress!"

"Patrice, honey. The one you're wearing is every bit as nice…"

"But I wanted pwink!"

"Sorry, everyone… she's in the terrible twos…"

"Except she's nearly three now," Christian joked.

"First there are the terrible twos, then she's a threenager, then there's the fu…"

"Little ears, Stan!" Tasha admonished. "Come sit on Momma's lap, poppet."

We were standing outside a meeting room in the palace where all our family and friends had gathered.

"Whose stupid idea was this anyway?" I grumbled.

"I believe it was yours," Dimitri replied indulgently. "You wanted to get it all over and done with at the same time."

"You shouldn't have listened to me."

Dimitri wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning to brush his lips gently across mine.

"Are they all there?" I sighed.

Dimitri opened the door and peered in.

"Yes, they're all there now, ангел."

"Ok. Let's do this."

It was the day before Christmas. Our five-year allocation had run out months ago, but we'd agreed to stay on until the Christmas break, which was now upon us.

I was excited to see everyone. I hadn't had a chance to see my family and friends in a few months, Dimitri making the last three trips back to Court while I stayed in New Hampshire. But we were here, and it was time.

Opening the door, fully, the two of us stepped inside. Dimitri was right – everyone was here. Lissa and Christian with Alto, Tasha and their daughter Patrice. Baba and Pavel were here, as was Mom. Adrian was there holding hands with Sydney. Meredith, Celeste, and Kirk were also there in uniform, Eddie standing awkwardly to one side in casual wear.

"Hey everyone!" I said brightly.

"Darling! It's so good to see you!" Baba said, looking at me carefully.

"Thanks, Baba," I said nervously, letting Dimitri take my large coat from me. And that's when the shit hit the fan.

"PREGNANT!?" Mom screamed, looking from me to Dimitri. And then she launched herself at Dimitri via the most direct route possible - directly across the highly polished timber meeting table.

"You let someone do that to her?! I'm gonna kill you, Belikov!" she hissed, scrabbling for traction while Abe, and then Pavel, held her back by her belt. It would have been funny had it not been so sad.

"Sit down Janine!" Abe hissed, he and Pavel hauling her back to her seat. He didn't sound happy. In fact, he sounded even angrier than Mom was.

Shit!

"Is it true? Are you pregnant?" Lissa gasped in surprise, grasping Christian's hand. They'd married three years ago, and I knew they'd been trying for a baby ever since. More than anything, I'd been worried about how she'd take this news – especially since I'd hidden my pregnancy for so long.

I nodded, smacking Dimitri's hands away as he tried to lead me to a chair.

"I'm pregnant, not disabled," I grumbled under my breath, flopping into the chair he held out for me.

"Now listen up. I've got a bladder the size of a walnut these days, so I am only going to go through this once, alright?"

There were nods, or in some cases belligerent looks and grudging silence, so I started.

"First of all, no - this was not an accident or the result of some one night stand with a Moroi. I'm five months along, and Dimitri is the biological father of our baby."

I paused to let that sink in for a moment. My mother turned to look at my father in surprise, and he shrugged, gesturing for her to continue listening.

"So how did this happen?" Christian asked in awe.

"Well, Sparky… when a man and a woman love each other very much, sometimes they have 'special cuddles' and if they're very lucky…"

"Roza!" Dimitri growled, giving me a look.

I poked my tongue out at Sparky.

"Alright - as you know, we've been working with the Alchemists for the last five years. During this time we've got to know about their operations pretty well. As well as the field agent training we've been primarily involved with; they have other divisions such as record management, engineering as well as science and medical divisions. They're working on a number of things to counter Strigoi and keep humans ignorant of our world. They know one problem is the falling number of Guardians, and as part of their research they've discovered a way for Dhampir to reproduce together."

There was a stunned silence. This was almost the stuff of fairy tales. Dhampir could not reproduce with other Dhampir. End of story.

"There's a lot of science behind it, but in a nutshell, Dhampir conceptions have always been possible, however soon after conception the mother's immune system identifies the cells as foreign and attacks them, causing the pregnancy to fail. This always happens within hours of fertilization, so no one ever realized conception was possible."

I looked around, and everyone was following along, so I continued.

"About a year ago, Dimitri and I were made aware of this information, and we were given the option to be the first to trial the medication they believed would make a Dhampir/Dhampir pregnancy possible. We'd never considered children of our own because we didn't think it was a possibility. We talked it over for a couple of months, and decided to go for it."

"Which is when you got married," Abe supplied, his quick mind filling in the blanks.

"That's right," Dimitri said, grasping my hand where it lay on the tabletop. "We wanted our child to have the secure foundation of coming from parents in a loving, committed relationship." He said it without rancor, but Dimitri and I were both the result of difficult relationships. We wanted our child to know we were together and loyal.

We'd married in a small ceremony at the chapel at St. Vladimir's in June. Very low key, it was close family and friends only, the Belikovas sadly unable to make it. We'd had a dawn ceremony followed by dinner and dancing, and then Dimitri and I had retired to our accommodations. If anyone wondered why we'd chosen to spend our first days as a married couple in a run-down cabin on the edge of campus, they hadn't asked.

"After we were married, I started to take the tablets from the Alchemists," I explained. "I needed to take them for a month or so to build up an antibody response. Basically, the tablets helped desensitize my body so that if a conception were to occur, my body would not attack the fetus. When the time was right, we started trying, and obviously, we were successful."

"Successful in the first month? Way to go Belikov… Stud!" Adrian said lewdly.

Dimitri was blushing but still looked a little pleased with himself.

"Ha!" I laughed. "Hardly a surprise, I just had to look at him sidewise, and he'd be on top of me," I joked giving my sexy man a wink. It had been a whole month of original sin.

Mom growled.

"Not helping with your mother," Abe muttered, a hand on her forearm in reassurance or restraint – I wasn't sure which.

I looked up and saw Christian looking downcast, and I could have kicked myself. Of course hearing about our pregnancy would be hard for him, too. I toned it right back down.

"We were very lucky to be successful in the first month, but as you can imagine with so many unknowns, they've been keeping a close eye on me."

"Have they not let you leave?! Is that why we've not seen you in months?" Lissa asked in alarm.

"Not at all," I reassured everyone. "The Alchemists have been amazing, and I've been getting the very best of care. As well as their own specialists, they've been flying Dr. Olendzki in to attend to me because I trust her. It was actually at her Majesty's request I stayed away once I started showing. She knew about this before we decided to try. She's asked me to only mention the pregnancy to our very closest family and friends," I continued.

That earned a couple of raised eyebrows. In fact, everyone, bar Sydney, looked surprised. She'd also known about this from the start.

"Firstly, there's no knowing how a Dhampir/Dhampir pregnancy will turn out. Every test, so far, has been normal, but the baby could have some sort of disability, or we could miscarry. Her Majesty didn't want news of this to become widespread until we know if the pregnancy was successful and that the baby is a normal Dhampir."

I rubbed my belly fondly, meeting Dimitri's eye and smiling. He leaned forward and kissed me tenderly, putting his other hand on my bump.

"There's also the issue of what this development could do to our society. There aren't enough Guardians, so increasing the number of Dhampir may result in increasing the pool from which to draw Guardians. Then again, male Dhampir typically become Guardians as there is little chance of them become fathers and having a family. If that changes, it might cause even fewer Dhampir to become Guardians."

"You can't keep this sort of information from us," Eddie said, pushing off against the wall in agitation. "It's our lives! We deserve some sort of say in how we want to live!"

"I agree, Eddie," I said immediately. "But I also believe we need to be sure babies conceived this way are born normal. Dhampir parents get little enough support already. What happens if they release this drug and there are hundreds of Dhampir babies born with a disability? What if Dhampir take off into the human world to have families and live with humans, and in a generation, some scientist finds out there's this sub-species who are different, and then they discover our world?! We need to be careful because while this is wonderful, it could also tear our world apart."

"That's easy for you to say," Eddie said shaking his head. "You're already pregnant."

"Yes – and she spends more nights than I'd like to mention crying, terrified there might be something wrong with our baby," Dimitri snapped, staring Eddie down. "We're Dhampir, too, Eddie. No one is trying to conceal anything. Her Majesty just wants to make sure a Dhampir/Dhampir baby can be carried to term, and the baby is healthy before we start handing out tablets to every Dhampir female."

Eddie backed down, murmuring his apologies.

"Eddie? We're not just doing this for us. Part of Dimitri and I doing this was about giving other Dhampir the option to do more with their lives. We're not the enemy - but I agree we need to make sure it's safe before this news become widespread."

He nodded, and I gave him a wan smile. I knew his situation at the moment, and why this might be more of an issue for him just now.

"Which leads us to our next point. Roza and I are leaving for Russia on Boxing Day," Dimitri explained. "We're going to have the baby there."

Mom growled, and Lissa gasped.

"We haven't seen Dimitri's family in five years," I justified. "And we need to go somewhere where there won't be too many questions. We plan to go over there for the remainder of my pregnancy and stay until the baby is around two years old. Her Majesty is putting me on paid Maternity Leave for a couple of years, and Dimitri will be working with the Alchemists in Russia implementing some of the changes we've introduced here."

My eyes met Lissa's, and she'd started crying. Accessing the bond I could tell part of it was jealously that Dimitri and I were pregnant while she and Christian had been trying to fall pregnant for so long. But a much larger part was disappointment I'd be away from her even longer. She'd had her heart set on me returning to Court – but Russia was even further away than New Hampshire.

"I'm sorry, Liss," I said, tears in my own eyes. "But Russia just feels right. Maybe you could come visit – I know you said you wanted to come back sometime?"

What wasn't said between us was 'before you are Queen.' Tatiana was grooming her to be the next Monarch, so any travel for pleasure would need to take place before Tatiana abdicated. And there was no knowing just how close that day was.

"Well. Everything else aside, let us be the first to say congratulations," Tasha said with a huge smile smoothing over the tension in the room. "And very best wishes. I won't lie – the twos are a challenge," she said looking at Patrice indulgently, "but we wouldn't change it for the world, would we Stan?!"

Alto's gave his wife a besotted grin, his hand on their daughter's raven hair. It had shocked everyone when a year after his allocation to Christian, he and Tasha had gone to her nephew and asked him to release Stan so he could become Tasha's Guardian. Apparently, during the time they'd shared at the Ozera house, and then during Christian and Lissa's frequent visits to Court, a secret romance had blossomed between them. The two had married a month after he became her Guardian, and two weeks after their first anniversary – a week after Christian and Lissa's completely over the top Royal wedding – Patrice Erica Marjorie Ozera Alto was born. The apple of both her parent's eye.

"Thank you, Tasha. Stan," Dimitri said handsomely, answering for us both. "Rose and I are excited but also nervous. But this is something we both want very much," he said, his eyes moving across to my parents and lingering there meaningfully.

"Darling! Belikov! Your mother and I are delighted for you!" Abe responded, giving my mother a look.

"That's right," my mother said, dissolving into tears. "My baby is having a baby! I'm going to be a Nanna!"

Abe put his arm around her, and not for the first time over the last five years I wondered what, if anything, was going on between them. But since they seemed unwilling to talk about it, I didn't pry.

We accepted best wishes and congratulations before Dimitri brought everyone back to attention.

"Thanks so much everyone. We know this is a shock, and I'm really sorry for that. I hope you understand why we need to keep this quiet."

After that, talk turned to Christmas dinner, Abe volunteered his large house for the occasion, inviting everyone present. Adrian and Sydney declined. They were going to attempt Christmas with his family, but Adrian warned that at the first sign of disrespect to Sydney, they'd be over to Abe's to join us. The only other to decline was Eddie. Leaving the others to chat, I walked over to him.

"I thought you'd be gone by the time we got here," I said gently.

"I'd planned to – but when I heard you were coming I decided to stay an extra day or two, so I could say a proper goodbye."

"I'm glad you did," I said, dissolving into tears. "I get why, I really do, and I wish you luck. Don't be a stranger, ok? I couldn't bear to lose you, too."

"He would have been so proud to be an uncle…"

"I know. Uncle Duckie," I said with a smile but crying even more. "That just means Uncle Eddie has to be around, ok? Keep in touch. If you need help call me, ok?" I pleaded, pulling him to me for an awkward hug.

"I will," he promised.

"How is Meredith?" I asked.

"Still upset. She knows why I need to go, but we still love each other," he explained sadly.

"Maybe it doesn't have to be the end?" I suggested.

"I can't ask her to wait."

"Then don't. But when you're ready maybe come back for her?"

"I'd love that," he whispered, his face tortured. "I'd love it if Meredith and I could have a proper life together. Maybe even have a child?" he added, looking at my bump.

"Then aim for it," I counseled.

"She'll have someone else by then," he said pessimistically.

"She might," I agreed. "But she might not. Do what you need to do, Eddie. But don't forget you have friends. If you want to, you can make it happen."

We embraced again, and I could see Meredith looking but not looking from the corner of her eye. I gave her a sympathetic smile. She was putting a good face on it, but Eddie resigning as a Guardian to move into the human world to try and find an apprenticeship as a carpenter was killing her.

"When do you leave?" I asked.

"At daybreak," he said, his voice hitching.

"Stay in touch," I demanded.

He nodded, and then I walked over to see my parents.

"Can I?" Mom asked, looking at my belly and reaching out toward it.

"Ok," I said warily, wondering how Mom had gone from throwing herself across a boardroom table to scratch my husband's face off to wanting to touch my bump. She placed her hand on it carefully, her face lighting up with wonder.

"I'm sorry for my reaction, Rosemarie. I just assumed he'd let something happen to you…"

"Dimitri would never let anything happen to me. Us," I corrected, hand on my belly.

"Of course he wouldn't," Abe said more to Janine than he did to me. "He's a good man and husband, and he'll be a good father."

"But Russia?!" Mom wailed. "It's so far away!"

"Well no one's stopping you visiting," I snapped. I was tired, and that meant I was getting irritable. "You haven't taken more than a day or two for a vacation in what… twenty years?! Surely you can take a month or two off?!"

Abe shot Mom a look that suggested this wasn't the first time this had been suggested to her. Their eyes locked, and I could see they were having a conversation without words, the same way Dimitri and I often did.

"If your father visits, perhaps I could come for a little while," she conceded carefully.

"I'd really like that," I said, pretending not to notice my father's pleased expression. Mom and I had come a long way in the last five years, and while I suspected Olena would be of a lot more practical assistance, I was having my first baby – so I also wanted my Mom!

"Baba? Eddie is thinking of leaving our world to try and get a carpentry apprenticeship somewhere. He wants to work designing and remodeling buildings, and he's got quite a talent for it. Carpentry would be such a waste, though - he got really high academic scores when he was in College with Christian and would have gone on to be an Architect, had he been Moroi," I hinted.

Abe looked at me in confusion.

"A little investment in his education wouldn't hurt," I spelled out. "A word to the admissions board and a loan? A fair one," I quickly stipulated. "Or perhaps a scholarship for a promising Dhampir student to attend one of the Moroi universities? You'd be a visionary, Baba. The first Moroi to invest in Dhampir further education? You'd love to stick it to all those indulged Royals by making them sit side by side with a Dhampir who wasn't there to guard them - and I'm sure you could spin it to be a tax write off – it might cost you nothing?"

My father looked at me, but I could see he was working the angles in his head. He nodded, then kissed me on the cheek before moving across to speak with Eddie. I'd done all I could, so I hoped it worked out.

I waddled across to Lissa and Christian. She had her mental barriers up tight, and an even tighter expression on her face; both indications she was hurting.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I hugged her. "I know it hurts and I'm sorry, Liss. You don't have to hide it."

"I'm so happy for you," she said as the tears started.

"I know you are, Auntie," I whispered. "But it's ok to feel angry about your situation, too."

"How did you know?" she whispered. She'd never confided in me about their struggles, so I'd never mentioned it.

"Lissa – we've been best friends for almost twenty years. I know you, and I know you will be a brilliant mother when the time comes."

"What if it doesn't come?" she asked, voicing her greatest fear.

"I think it will," I said, wrapping my arm around her. "And when it does, I'll be there to help you through it," I promised.

"Are you ok, Roza?"

"I'm ok, Comrade. Tired," I smiled.

"It went well," he said, tilting his head to one side and looking at me.

"It did. Well – once Mom calmed down!"

It was cold out, and I had my thick shapeless coat on. We were holding hands and wandering through court, taking the long route back to my father's place. He'd insisted we stay until we flew out to Russia the day after tomorrow – and since dealing with a lumpy Guardian dormitory bed while pregnant was beyond me, I'd readily agreed.

"Rose! I mean Guardian Hathaway!"

I stopped and turned, seeing a face I'd not seen in over five years.

"Artyom!" I said with a smile.

"Guardian Hathaway! It's lovely to see you! I didn't know you were at Court? Last I heard you were in New Hampshire?" Artyom looked at me before his eyes flicked to Dimitri. "And Guardian Belikov? A pleasure to see you again, too."

"It's Guardian Belikova now," I said with a small smile, holding up my hand to show the plain silver band that was my wedding ring. "We were married in June."

"Oh! I hadn't heard. Many congratulations!" he said, looking beyond stunned. Dimitri and I were openly a couple and had been for four years at Court, but I guess Artyom must have missed the scandal of Dimitri and I announcing we were together.

"Thank you," Dimitri said, dropping an arm around me possessively. Some things never changed.

"Yes, thank you," I reiterated. "We're very happy! So what are you doing here?"

Artyom's face darkened.

"I don't suppose you heard about Elizaveta? It was three months ago? A random attack. She saved two of the three Moroi she was with, but…"

I stepped forward and hugged him.

"I'm so very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," he said, pulling himself together. "She did everything right…"

"Sometimes that's the way it happens," Dimitri remarked sadly.

"So you're here for…?"

"A new allocation," he said with a sad smile. "After Veta, I just need to be away from Russia," he explained.

"I understand," Dimitri said. "I was the same after I lost my first charge," he said switching to Russian.

"Does it ever get easier?" Artyom asked. "It feels like my whole world has fallen apart."

"You will never forget, but in time your heart remembers more happiness than sadness," Dimitri explained. "When that happens, don't fight it. She loved you – she would want you to be happy."

"I don't want to forget her…"

"You never will. You don't need to be sad to remember her. I still think about my charge every day. You will remember your sister, too. Don't fight it. Let yourself grieve then move on."

Artyom nodded, shaking Dimitri's hand.

"Are you two based at Court, now?"

"No. We're just here for Christmas," I explained, giving him no indication that after five years I was decent at speaking Russian so had understood their words. I'd also been careful to keep my tummy away from him when we hugged. With my large coat concealing my bump, he had no idea I was expecting. "We're on our next mission in a few days."

"Something exciting?" he asked.

I looked at Dimitri with a big grin.

"Something very exciting," I confirmed.

Giving Artyom a final hug, Dimitri and I wished him the best before continuing to Baba's.

"You know – with Eddie leaving, Artyom could be a good replacement as Christian's other Guardian…"

"Roza!" Dimitri groaned in exasperation. "You have to stop mothering everyone you meet! Sometimes you have to make your peace with the way things are! Soon we'll have our own baby for you to focus on."

"I just want everyone to be as happy as we are," I explained, stopping and turning to face my Russian God. The first snowflakes of the season were gently kissing our skin as we embraced, but all I could see were the chocolate brown eyes of the man I loved.

"And I love you for it," he crooned. "I love you Roza Belikova!"

Thanks for joining me on another fun filled ride!

I have been getting requests for extensions/continuations for my stories and it's honestly too hard to decide which. So if you fancy a say in what you'd like to see more of, head on over to my Facebook page to vote on the Reader's Choice Poll! There's also been something hidden in every chapter of this work. The first to correctly guess what it is, you get 10 votes in the reader's choice poll!

I also have some very very exciting news coming up soon about my non Fanfiction writing - more about that on the Facebook page soon!

Never Tear Us Apart - VA Fanfiction
Swimming the Same Deep Waters
www facebook com / swimmingthesamedeepwaters