A.N. 'Mad Dawg' is a character I created out of boredom. His powers and origins will be explained as the story goes on, but he's kinda like Deadpool. A wise-cracking, fourth-wall-breaking guy. This story isn't nearly as 'serious' as other Overwatch stories you may find, and it will contain references to other franchises. No crossovers, just little things.

Mad Dawg groaned as he woke up, his head still dizzy from last night's party.

Man Lucio's album release parties are the best! He thought when he finally remembered what had happened the night before, however, we the audience have no idea who Mad Dawg is, why he was at Lucio's album release party, and where he currently is. In fact, neither does Mad Dawg himself. In fact, Mad Dawg was very confused as t what was happening currently.

"Thanks narrator. Do my freaking job for me why don't'cha?" Mad Dawg muttered. Looking around he was slightly unnerved. He was lying on a table in a dark room, in fact, whoever built this place seemingly had no idea what "Indoor lighting" was.

Well, I'm not at the train yard… Wait. Did I leave my pop tarts in the microwave?

Yes he did. Back at his home, three chocolate fudge pop tars sat in a microwave, uneaten and growing cold.


Finally getting up fully, Mad Dawg tried to stand on the floor… and immediately fell face-forward. He realized that his body was probably still waking up from the party and he most like didn't have all his strength back. So he begrudgingly dragged himself up and back onto the table, which he now realized was actually a bed.

Did I realize that or were you to lazy to change what you typed three paragraphs ago? Mad Dawg thought.

Suddenly, the bed was filled with mutant scorpions, all of which began viciously stinging and jabbing at Mad Dawg's-

OKAY! Mad Dawg inwardly shouted annoyed. I'm sorry! Can you please let me sleep?

There were no scorpions. Lying back on the bed (or table, you the viewer decide) Mad Dawg found it wasn't that hard to drift back off, a nice change from his recent paranoia-filled sleep-deprived nights. However, while he slept, two men watched. (creepy right? It's like two Michael Jackson's for the rice of one! But seriously, MJ isn't that great a musician and he was a horrible person.) One of the two wore a weird skull mask that looked slightly like the outline of Default's mask from Watch_Dogs. The other man was significantly taller and had a giant robot arm over his right arm.

"You really think HE is strong enough to be of any use to us?" The man with the skull mask asked.

"Perhaps not in his current state." The other man commented. "But with some… Adjustments, he may be what we need to set our plans into action."

Several hours passed until Mad Dawg woke up again, this time. He felt a lot better, he saw that his crocs and messenger bag were sitting near a wall. Walking over and grabbing his gear he realized something.

"Where the hell's the door?" He said aloud, confused. Almost immediately after saying that, a door opened with a pshh.

"No. No. No, no, no, no, no, NO." He exclaimed pointing to the now-open door. "I'm not THAT stupid!" He then looked around and saw there was no air vent or window of any sort. "Crap." He said hanging his head defeated. Sighing, he left through the door. Reaching into his bag, he pulled a crossbow out and loaded it, ready for a surprise attack. As he continued down the hall, he sowre he heard a low voice laughing manically. Deciding he'd rather listen to something god, he pulled a tape player out and pushed play.

Sun is shinin' in the sky! There ain't a cloud in sight…

As he continued down the hall he KNEW someone was following him. He moved a little faster, but knew the footsteps were right behind him. So he stopped, he herd a strange noise and grabbed his crossbow and spun around, ready to fire.

"Espera, niño!" A female voice exclaimed.

"I don't speak taco!" Mad Dawg yelled. He now saw the woman in front of him was drastically older than he was, at least 10 years. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HEART!? DID YOU REPLACE IT WITH A CAR BATTERY OR SOMETHING?!"

"Kid! Calm down!" The woman exclaimed. "We didn't do anything! We found you passed out and- wait. Why'd you think we replaced your heart with a car battery?"

"I had a real bad experience with some Chinese monks once. Don't like talking about it." He replied. "Now, you wanna tell me where I am, who you are, and who took my clothes off?"

"Why does the third part matter?" The woman asked.

"Cause if a guy did it, I'm gonna feel violated. If it was a woman, I'll feel less violated."

"Your in a hidden base, somewhere off Dorado. My name's Sombra, and I don't know who changed you." Sombra listed off her replies. "Now can you please put the crossbow down ese?"

Mad Dawg looked at Sombra for a few moments before lowering his crossbow. He looked around at the hallway before turning back to Sombra.

"Who are you with? If you've got a underground base your most likely with some sorta group like S.H.E.I.L.D. or Dedsec." He began very slowly backing away nervously.

This kid's smart… Sombra thought. But if I tell him who we really are, he's going to run. Then she heard Akande's voice on her comm.

"Sombra. We don't have time for this." His stern voice sounded in her ear. "We need to move forward with the procedure! Bring him here now!"

"Kid, if you come with me, I can give you the answers you're looking for." She replied with a smile.

Mad Dawg suddenly took off running at full speed down the hallway laughing loudly and yelling "SUCKERRRRRRRR!"

Sombra frowned, annoyed. The kid was smarter then she gave him credit for, or he was absolutely nuts. Judging by their introduction. She guessed it was the latter.

"Well… He's coming your way. Akande." She said into her comm.

Meanwhile, Doomfist, Reaper and several Talon doctors were in a operating room waiting for Sombra and the teen they had found to arrive."

"What?" Doomfist asked confused.

As if on cue, Mad Dawg came sliding in before looking around. Suddenly realizing that this was most definitely a trap he took off running out the door and down another hallway. Doomfist didn't even have to say anything as Reaper was already in pursuit. He grabbed his hellfire shotguns and fired a few shells off. MD in response shot an arrow backwards at Reaper. But Mad Dawg was a terrible shot, so the arrow went flying over Reaper's head and-

"You know, this ISN'T the time to make me an inadequate shot!" Mad Dawg growled at the narrator.

Well, after my last anniversary, I've lost a lot of faith in you. I mean, my wife lost her legs in a shark attack, and you sent her SHARK PATTERN SOCKS!

"Seriously?! Is that was this is all about?" Dawg replied, staring to tire from all the running. "I said it once and I'll say it again! I put the wrong gift in the wrong envelope! Those weren't meant for your wife!" Felling fatigue begin to take over, he dove into a room and locked the door, luckily for him. Reaper ran by, still looking for him. Now that he was able to sit for a moment, Mad Dawg grabbed his phone and a can of Voltage Mountain Dew from his bag. Guzzling the drink he looked down and saw where the bullets had grazed him. Quickly opening his phone, he began searching through his contacts for someone who could help.

"Ash, no. Darryl, no. Jason, no, Lucio, no. Marcus, no… Wait! Lucio?!" He exclaimed confused. Scrolling up a few contacts, Mad Dawg was shocked to see that he had Lucio's mobile number in his phone. Why he did made no sense, but he had heard rumors that Lucio was part of the newly reformed Overwatch. Hitting 'call' he waited, his breath becoming more and more rapid out of fear of being found.

"Hey yo! You've reached Lucio! What's up?" Lucio's voice came form the other side.

"Lucio?" Mad Dawg asked, genuinely relieved.

"Uhh… Who is this?"

"My name's… Mad Dawg."

"Oh snap! What's going on Dawg!? It's great to hear from ya again!" Lucio suddenly seemed really happy to hear from him.

"Listen Lucio." Mad Dawg suddenly cut him off. "I don't know how or why I have your number but right now, I need help. Your with Overwatch right?"


"I just woke up in some crazy building in Dorado being run by a weird skull faced guy and some goons who call themselves 'Talon'. They want to give me implants of some kind. I need help NOW!"

Suddenly, the doors opened and a purple skinned woman was standing in the doorway with a sniper rifle.

"Don't move and it won't hurt." She growled.

Mad Dawg threw the empty bottle at her, which hit her on her helmet. Mad Dawg power slid in between her legs and kept running. She began firing her sniper rifle, which was now a machine gun, and successfully tagged Mad Dawg four times, causing him to cry out in pain. However, he managed to get into an elevator at the end of the hall way and pushed 'Up.' As he slumped down he saw he was losing a lot of blood. He weakly sat on the floor, also noticing that a daggar had somehow been shoved in his side. Suddenly, he remembered that when he fist started running from edgy Achmed, he must have been hit.

"For the love of god, just let me go." He groaned annoyed. Not sure he could take another encounter.

His heart sand when the elevator doors opened and a huge knight in fully body armor stood in front of him, with a colossal hammer.

"You want some? Come and get-" That was as far as Mad Dawg got, due to the blood loss and low blood sugar and general tiredness, he passed out.

A.N. That's all for chapter one folks! It seems like Mad Dawg's gone from one group of crazies straight into another! How will he react to Overwatch's team? Come back soon for the answer! And as always, feedback is always appreciated!