.

.

Yuri knows a scumbag when he sees one.

This is a certified scumbag — with his undercut, darkly tinted sunglasses he's wearing indoors, and a very smug and conceited grin on his face.

"I'm JJ," the man introduces himself to the group, tilting up his chin and winking. It's either aimed for Yuri or the pretty, petite girl beside him. She swoons and giggle. Yuri curls his upper lip, looking at the wall pointedly ahead.

This is supposed to be a documented social experiment — headed by some friend of Otabek's and that's the only reason Yuri is here. They needed another male test subject around the ages of 16-20 who lived in the neighboring town.

"What we are gonna do is pair everyone up, and switch them around," Otabek's friend announces enthusiastically, waving her clipboard. "You are gonna slap each other."

The pretty girl — Isabella, her name tag reads — lets out a scandalized, giggling noise. Yuri shoots her an annoyed look, jaw clenching.

Wait… slap?

"Hey," JJ interrupts Yuri's revelation, sauntering up to him, draping an arm to Isabella's neck. He stares Yuri up and down with that same smug look, as if approving of what he sees. "You two look friendly. Be gentle with me, alright?"

This is so obviously flirting, and Isabella eats it right up, grinning.

Yuri is about to tell him to fuck off when he stumbles forwards, another person hitting into him as they rush by. "I've got your consent forms here!" Otabek's friend yells over the chitter of excitement and shock. "Let's get going, people! We can have you—"

Instead of meeting the polished studio floor, JJ grabs onto Yuri's shoulders, easing him up. His cockiness fading away, replacing with worry—

—and Yuri's hand stings, pulsing red from the impact.

He slaps JJ instinctively, with enough force to send those dark sunglasses flying, JJ's head bent and craning towards the side.

"Holy shit," Isabella gasps, nearly in tears.

"Holy shit," JJ mumbles, straightening himself and staring wide-eyed and awestruck at Yuri.

"Holy shit," Yuri says, also wide-eyed, gazing down at the slight tent forming in JJ's designer pants.

"HOLY SHITCONSENT FORMS, PEOPLE!" Otabek's friend yells furiously over everyone else. A vein bulges against her forehead.

As Yuri guessed, they are immediately escorted from the building and removed from the social experiment.

Isabella storms off, flipping a rude gesture before entering a cab. "You're a pervert," Yuri says, narrowing his eyes when JJ bursts out laughing, flashing his teeth. They're a bit crooked on the top row, but impeccably white. Yuri hates them.

"Well, to be fair… that caught me off-guard too," JJ points out, eyeing Yuri's hoodie. "Yuri."

With a ttching noise, he rips off his name-tag, flinging it at JJ's grinning face.

"Keep it. You already get off on weird shit, dumbass."

Yuri doesn't expect to be slowly backed up against the rain-soaked, brick wall, or to be so paralyzed. His face burns visibly with humiliation and the warm puffs of JJ's breathing. He raises his hand quickly, meaning to strike JJ on the same, bruising cheek — the other boy catches Yuri's wrist, only an inch or two away.

"I guess this is encouraging weird shit then?"

JJ's mouth upturns when Yuri says nothing, meeting their eyes heatedly. He hates that this scumbag is attractive. This fucking isn't fair.

"If you are gonna kiss me, then do it," he growls out, getting a pinch of satisfaction when JJ blinks, as if mistaking what he just heard.

Yuri smirks, cruelly, like he just struck regardless.

The victory feels short-lived.

JJ pulls away, releasing Yuri's wrist. "Unlike you, I value using consent," he replies, digging in his pants pocket. A thin, small card passes into Yuri's fingers. "Call me sometime, kitten." Yuri stiffens, flushing to his ears. When he gathers his wits, ready to tell him off, JJ has already blended into the crowd.

His phone number…?

Yuri's sweaty, quaking fingers crumble it up. He's sure to memorize the digits before tearing JJ's personal card to shreds, tossing it like useless confetti overhead. Fucking hell.

.

.


Yuri on Ice isn't mine. The slapping experiment was actually real! There was a 'strangers meet and kiss' experiment video online I saw years ago (and wrote for a ship from another fandom), and then someone else did a 'slap' one instead of a kissing one too. I knew eventually I was gonna try it out ahahahaa. Also, the fic's perspective is more heavily Yuri biased/his angry denial about being attracted to JJ, therefore he's an unreliable narrator and calls JJ names and is rude... but I promise I love JJ and that does not reflect on how *I* feel about this precious bean. It's also JJ's birthday lmao! Happy birthday I'm sorry you were smacked but you also liked it so yay? SHRUGS. Alrighty, well, hope anyone reading enjoyed and thanks for reading! Comments/thoughts appreciated!