A/N: Hello! This is my first Alec/Bella story. OOC may happen, so keep that in mind please. Also, constructive criticism is appreciated. I know I'm not the best writer. If you hate my story, I'm sorry. If you love it, great! Review and let me know!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series or any of its characters. I wish I was that brilliant
Chapter 1 - Reflection
Tonight is finally an Edward free night. I can listen to what I want to and actually think about my life. I plop down on my bed in relief and let my thoughts run.
I didn't think that my life could ever be so complicated. I mean, I was friends with vampires and werewolves, and my parents had no idea just what they've been letting their only child be around. Edward and Jake were always fighting over me, as if I was an object who couldn't decide who she wanted. I had a redheaded vampire who was hell bent on revenge and is constantly looking for ways to get to me. She seems to think that it would hurt Edward.
She would be right, in a sense. It would hurt Edward, but not in the way she probably thinks. You see I don't think that Edward truly cares about me, not as a mate should. I look at the other couples in the Cullen family, and while the male is the dominant one, they respect the female's wishes too. It's a give and take. It's a healthy relationship.
In all of the Cullen family interactions, especially those between mates, I could see a mutual love and respect. Decisions were made together for the most part, and opinions were valued. Esme, Rosalie, and Alice were all allowed to be who they wanted to be.
My relationship with Edward was nothing like what I see in the relationships of his family. Ever since he came back, Edward has been more controlling than ever. He tries to control every single aspect of my life that he can. How I act and how I dress myself are both things that are dictated by him. He would even tell me what friends I could have, what music to listen to, what hobbies to have, what I could eat and when I could eat it. He recently started controlling my sleeping habits.
Edward basically makes all decisions for me, whether I had an opinion or not. He seems to believe that since he's lived a lot longer than me, then he knows better than me on everything. And if I voice an opinion anyway, he both scoffs at me and then ignores it, or he just pretends he never heard it. The prick even sold my truck to a junkyard without my consent and is forcing me to rely on him for rides everywhere.
It's just suffocating. He treats me as more of a pet than a mate. So I don't think he truly cares about me, or wants me in the long run. And I'm glad. Because quite frankly, I don't want him for forever either, not if this is the kind of forever I was to look forward to.
Edward doesn't love me. And he would never love me, not like…
I shake my head; I really shouldn't be thinking of him. The brown hair, with the gorgeous eyes even though those eyes were red. When he held me back from going to Edward, I felt oddly calmer. I shouldn't have. I'm sure that if he were given the order, he would drain me without hesitation.
Maybe that's why I've just been so disenchanted with Edward. Ever since we got back, I just haven't really felt anything for him. Actually, that's a lie; I'm beginning to hate him for his treatment of me. He didn't even ask me if I wanted him back. He just sort of came back and said we were together again. And I stupidly went along with it.
It's only been a couple of months, but I already just want him to go away. Jake too, since he was just as bad, if not worse than Edward. I was tired of his mood swings and constant need to try and convince me to leave Edward for him. I don't want either of them. The one I want is in…
I shake my head again. What was wrong with me? Ever since we got back, I can't get him off my mind. I can't stop thinking about what his lips would feel like. What it would be like to make love to him. To be held, loved, and protected by him. Would he try to control me like Edward? I didn't think so.
It's gotten so bad lately that it's been influencing everything that I do. Last week while researching different Colleges and Universities, I found myself looking in Italy. Just yesterday I found myself looking up Italian language courses and researching what it would be like to live in Italy. And this morning when Edward was out running errands for Carlisle, I found myself halfway through an application for an Italian University. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and sneak off to Volterra and ask to join the guard.
My phone chimed as that thought (read half-formed plan) crossed my mind. It was Alice. Oops. Hope she didn't tell anyone. I opened the message to read it.
I won't stop you. I'll even help you if you want.
My jaw dropped and I sat stunned before replying,
So many questions all summed up in that one word. Why would she help me? Why would she not stop me? Why wasn't she telling me I belonged with her brother? My phone chimed again a few seconds later.
I've seen a lot of things happen. Jazz and I need to talk to you tonight. We're coming over. Leave your window open.
I put my phone down confused. Were they mad? Were they going to convince me to stay? But if that was the case, then why did Alice say she would help me? What did she see? Maybe they can finally tell me why Jasper has been giving me weird looks whenever I come around with Edward? Or why Alice looks at me as if waiting for me to do something? And how soon was soon?
The answer came to me an hour later when my best friend climbed through the window followed by Jasper. I stared at them both as they settled themselves across from me on my bed. Each of them reached forward to grab a hand each. Just what the hell was happening? What are they planning?
Jasper sent some calm and peace my way before smiling at me, "Relax darlin' Alice and I here need to talk to you about what happened in Volterra."