Crimson Mafia

*This is a series of AU one shots. They will *mostly* be self-contained mostly like an episode of Sex and the City, which inspired this. Anyway, please let me know what you think.*

Main characters:

Meet the Mafia Girls

The Crimson Mafia - not to be mistaken for the Cashmere Mafia (which by the way was totally ripped from our lives and I am still waiting to hear from my lawyer about that copyright infringement lawsuit) kind of just came together accidentally. One day we were all working in the dregs of lame, meaningless jobs, going on even lamer and more pathetic dates and then we sort of just found each other. We saw that we had a lot more in common than our stunning good looks. (Not that any of us look anything alike to be truthful.) We just look damn good in general so we fit together at first just aesthetically speaking.

Then we realized that we other things in common too. We had men problems (within the span of a year, we had all ended long-term relationships with mob guys – seriously; shoot-'em-up-bang-bang, gun-toting hot shots – at least in their minds); were finding it really hard to move on because the dating pool in the little burg of Port Charles is as shallow as the kiddy pool at the 24 Hour Fitness and we had suck-ass jobs, family problems … You name it, we were dealing with it.

Kate was working for a tyrant of a boss who just didn't give a rat's ass about her ideas or her ideals and she said she was thisclose to pegging him in the eye with the razor-sharp heel of her black stiletto Manolos. Sam was working the sleazy talk show circuit doing shows like "Who's the Daddy?" (which was ironic considering what later happened to her) and "My Cousin is My Babymomma" ala Jerry Springer. Skye was working in savings and bonds, totally wasting her stunning good looks and amazing fashion sense behind a desk talking to nerdy losers in cheap pinstripes. And me? I was doing nothing important really. Going from job to job looking for my calling; my place; my purpose; somewhere to belong as god awfully cheesy as that sounds.

And then one day Kate's boss Mr. Zoo (yes Mr. Zoo) tries to cop a feel on her and she says she's done; she's just blowing the hell out of there and that shitty so-called place of business. She vowed that she was going to start her own magazine and make Dynamite Fashion look like the cheap, pathetic rag it was. She marched out of there with her head held high and her heels smacking down on the cheap linoleum resolutely with every step she took. She went home and immediately got to thinking. She had a little nest egg from working her ass off for years but not much more (most of her money had gone to buying those fabulous Versace frocks of hers) but there wasn't enough in her savings to start a whole magazine with. She needed capital; moolah; money …

And she sure as hell wasn't going to ask her Mafioso ex, Sonny Corinthos, to finance the deal. She knew he would have jumped at the chance to make it up to her for making it in the backseat of his rented limo with some stripper named Kandy Kane, but she vowed she was through with his short, stumpy, cheating ass. So what's a girl to do when she has a dilemma? First dig out your secret stash of bon bons and then hit the shopping centers for a little retail therapy.

She literally ran into Skye in the jewelry section of Saks Fifth Avenue (she had gone all the way to New York City because sad to say it, there is no such thing as a high-end shopping establishment in Port Charles). They both oohed and ahhed over a twenty-karat gold watch and got to talking. Somehow they ended up at Tavern on the Green eating caviar and sipping the finest, most expensive champagne. They had taken to each other immediately and began to confide in each other. They also realized that they were the Kate Howard and the Skye Quartermaine of Port Charles infamy. Their exes, Lorenzo and Sonny, had been waging war for years over petty little things like lovers, weapons and warehouses. They had a good laugh about it; said they should naturally hate each other's guts but yet they didn't. Skye then drunkenly confessed that once Sonny had tried to seduce her but she had left him high, dry and horny at the PC Hotel. Kate laughingly said Skye was not missing out on much anyway and was not sure how she had suffered five years of bad bedroom antics to which she vowed, she never would suffer through again.

So they got to further talking and related their career horror stories and that's when the idea of Crimson Magazine came to life. Skye said she had been looking for a new avenue of excitement and had a lot of spare family money lying around so why not go into business together? Kate was like, "yeah right! Are you actually serious?" and Skye was all, "Hell yeah!" ( She might have had a little too much to drink that day but she was dead-set on doing it.)

So the business was formed. And six weeks into the new venture, Kate and Skye realized that breaking their backs doing the work of twenty women was just not gelling for them. They needed employees and lots of them but they would settle for just two interns in the meantime. So they put out an ad and waited. A bunch of women came into apply – all with some kind of fashion deformity or deficit (bad hair; bad teeth; bad clothes; poor choice in colognes; no cologne at all, etc.) and Kate and Skye were getting desperate.

Meanwhile, Sam had just lost her job at the television station for cavorting bare ass-nekkid at a holiday work party in a Jacuzzi with the very married husband of one of the studio executives. She was down on her luck; out of a job and in need of work pronto. She thought of working for her mother at the police station (Alexis Davis is the daringly beautiful and exotic DA) but it didn't appeal to her. Especially after they had had that now infamous fight over Sam's feeling of Alexis having destroyed Sam's relationship with her boyfriend of three years, Jason Morgan.

So Sam eventually takes to the classifieds as all career girls eventually do. She sees the ad in the Port Charles Gazette wanting interns and decides, what the hell? She'll go in and apply. She really doesn't expect to get the job, especially when she realizes that one of the owners was Kate Howard. Kate wasn't too fond of anyone who had been involved with Sonny (she was very possessive in that way) and since Sam had at some point long ago been Sonny's mistress of the moment, she wasn't on Kate's must-hire list. But they were desperate and Skye convinced her to give Sam a chance. What could it hurt? Skye respected Sam's relationship with her cousin Jason, knew he had given her a raw deal, and they needed the help so why not?

Sam worked out great right away although she did her best performances sitting at the front desk, answering the telephones and accepting packages from the drooling delivery boys who came into the office all the time. Kate eventually really came to admire Sam's spunk and drive and thought one day maybe she could model for Crimson if they could whitewash her checkered past a little bit.

Still, they needed more employees and that's where I came in. Sam and I recently met and joined ranks in the "I Hate Liz Webber Anti-Fanclub" and Sam saw what an amazing fashion dynamo I was and told Skye and Kate about me. They were a little wary of me at first too being that my past was a bit spotted as well, but they gave me a chance too and soon Crimson was on its way to being the megasuccess it became.

Naturally we had to hire more staff but we were the originals. We were the trendsetters and the soon-to-be fashion world icon (read=magazine) had been built solely on our hardworking, beautiful backs. We worked long days and long nights at the office, scurrying around like little chickens with our heads cut-off and then we managed to put together the first issue with everyone pitching in; in some way or another.

We sent it off to the printers and to celebrate, we went to the only semi-fashionable club in town, Le Circ, grabbed a table in the corner and just started drinking to our victory. A lot of interesting things came out our first night out on the town (for example, Sam prefers men in boxers or preferably, nothing; Skye likes bathtub sex; Kate gets off on men in Hugo Boss; and I love men who are unavailable to me, emotionally and otherwise).

We basically just discovered that we just had a lot in common and that night the term "Crimson Mafia" was officially coined. By me, of course. (My ex Damien Spinelli got me into the whole giving people, groups and places nicknames. What can I say? Old habits die hard!) And since then, we've been legend around this town and everywhere else too.

I have a lot of stories to tell about us (Kate always says I couldn't stop talking if I was paid to and she's probably right) and I love to gossip so I'd be willing to share our success story if you're up to hearing it.

Okay so you want to be in the know? Great!

Maybe I should start out telling you about the time Sam got caught macking on her ex-stepfather or the time Kate made out in a coat closet with MY DAD! Or maybe I should tell you about the way we all pulled together when one of us was facing the prospect of death and another was facing the prospect of being childless forever. Maybe I should just tell you everything. I will let you decide what is true and what I imagined in my fabulous brain. Just let me warn you in advance that if you hurt one of our Mafia members, you hurt us all, and there is no worse thing in the world than a Crimson Mafia girl scorned …

Preview: One of the women is scorned and the others come up with payback.