Author's Note: This is just an excuse for Remadora smut.

Thanks, Worthfull1

P.S. I own nothing, anything recognizable belongs to the lovely Ms. Rowling.

The Perils Of Patrol

July, 1996

A pub near Diagon Alley



"We've been made."

"No, we haven't."

"We have."

"We haven't, Remus. They might recognize you, but they can't see you. I'm the one they can see and I don't look anything like my normal self right now. We have not been made," Tonks insisted, taking a sip of her coffee. Her partner for the evening was looking discreetly into a mirror to watch behind him where there were two Dark wizards sitting at a table across the dimly-lit pub.

Sirius' recent brush with death had made Remus more paranoid than ever, to the point where even Mad-Eye had had to rein him in. Twice. Just in the last week. Add in the fact that it was only three days away from the full moon and Tonks found herself keeping an eye on Remus as often as she watched the Death Eaters they were supposed to be monitoring.

"They've asked for the check," she muttered. "We should go. We can watch the entrance and follow them when they come out."

Despite moving fluidly, Tonks could see the tension in Remus' body. She hoped she only noticed it because she had become so familiar with the way he moved and not because it was obvious to everyone.

"Easy," she said quietly. Remus' eyes met hers and he nodded imperceptibly before dropping enough money on the table to cover their bill and helping her into her robe. They left the pub casually, for all the world looking like a couple just out for a drink.

"Where to?" Remus asked when they'd stepped outside.

Tonks looked up and down the street. It was fairly quiet at that time of night and they would be seen if they stayed out in the open. "There," she nodded to their left. "That alley. We can see the door from there but they won't see us."

"Alright." Remus guided her into the alley with his hand on the small of her back, but dropped the contact as soon as they were in position.

Tonks sighed. Nothing seemed to work with him. She'd been trying to get his attention for the better part of a year and, while she could have sworn there was emotion in his eyes when he checked on her after the battle in the Department of Mysteries, he'd closed himself off again afterward.

She needed to talk to Sirius again.

Remus' chest tightened at her sigh. He knew she wished for more from him, but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't open himself up to that. Yes, she'd told him she didn't care that he was a werewolf, but he knew. He knew that one day he'd do something or say something that would prove too much for her and…

He'd rather not start something he knew would only end badly. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.

So he kept his distance. Visited the packs more often. Volunteered for missions that would take him out of town and out of the country. Ignored the way her face lit up when she saw him, the way his name sounded coming from her lips, they way her scent seemed to cling to his clothing even though he rarely got close enough to touch her.

He also ignored the pointed looks and badly veiled hints from Sirius. The animagus had made his views on the subject quite clear early on, and he didn't think much of Remus' passive aggressive tactics. The two men had fought about it more than once.

Remus was saved from reliving those cross words by the appearance of the men he and Tonks were tailing. "Shit, we're made," he said. "For real this time."

"I know," Tonks replied.

"How do you - " he turned to find her holding a Weasley twins Extendable Ear. An eyebrow went up in surprise and she grinned at him, making his stomach flip. She may not look the way he was used to, but the grin was pure Tonks.

"Damn." Her grin turned into a frown. "They're coming this way."

Remus reached for his wand while looking up and down the alley for an escape.

"No!" Tonks hissed, gripping his arm. She looked around, thinking fast. "Just - just play along, yeah?" she said, tugging him closer as she moved them further into the alley and backed herself up against the wall. "It's too late to run for it and they'll hear it if we apparate."

"So, what are you thinking?"

"I think we should pretend to be shagging."

"What?!" Remus yelped.

Tonks held up her hands. "Look, I know, okay? But would you interrupt a couple shagging in an alley just to ask if they'd been following you?"

"Well, no, but - "

"Got a better idea?"

"Well, no, but - "

"But we're out of time," she said, "now lift me up." She put her hands on his shoulders and hooked a leg around his hip.

Remus opened his mouth to argue some more, but the crunch of feet very close to their hiding spot pushed him into action. Swiftly, he grabbed her by the thighs and hoisted her up, pinning her between his body and the brick wall. Tonks gasped, and Remus almost apologized, but she forced his head into her neck to hide his face and he was suddenly surrounded by the scent of her skin.

He breathed deep, unable to help himself, and exhaled unsteadily just as she gave a low moan. Logically, he knew it was for the benefit of the audience he assumed were looking, but the sound went straight to his groin and he pushed his hips into hers. The noise she made that time was entirely for him.

His fingers tightened on her thighs, which he just realized were bare. She'd worn a skirt that night so as to look as though she was on a date, but he could have sworn she'd been wearing stockings before. Shifting his hands slightly, his fingertips brushed the lace at the top of her nylons.

Thigh-highs, he thought. Damn.

Tonks moved against him, trying to make it believable as she kept her eye on the two men, and he responded, pressing her into the wall and showing her the effect this little stunt was having on him. She tried to feel guilty, but couldn't quite manage it, and when she felt him sniffing at her neck followed by a low growl in his chest, she knew he could smell her arousal.

Mercifully, Remus soon heard one Death Eater admonish the other for being a voyeur, and the two of them wander off. To where, he no longer cared.



"They've gone."


But he didn't move away. His hands stayed on her thighs, holding her up, and he kept his body protectively in front of her while he raised his head and looked around. She was an Auror, but he was a werewolf and his night vision was ten times that of hers, not to mention his hearing. When he heard a distant pop of apparition, he relaxed a bit.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Shall I put you down now?"

Tonks didn't answer. Instead, she ran her hands slowly from his shoulders, up his neck, and into his hair. He turned his head back to her and saw that her eyes were dark with desire. Taking a chance, she gripped his hair tighter and brought his mouth down to hers. They both froze at the first touch, but recovered quickly when they realized neither planned to pull away. Remus groaned and parted his lips, wanting to taste her. Her tongue came out to meet his and he melted into her.

They snogged like teenagers for several long minutes until Tonks began rubbing her body against his and tightening her legs around his waist. Remus pressed himself into her instinctively, but then backed off a bit, remembering where they were. She didn't let him go far, though.

"Is it unfair of me to take advantage when you're this close to the moon?" she asked huskily.

Remus caught his breath. "A bit."

"You're feverish," Tonks remarked, feeling his forehead.

"It happens around this time."

"You telling me I've made you overheat?" she asked, laughing. The corner of his mouth lifted, and she looked up at him through hooded eyes. "Are you going to hold it against me?"

Remus took a chance. "Only if you ask nicely."

Tonks' eyes widened comically and her breath left her in a whoosh. "Please," she breathed. "Please hold it against me. I've been gagging for you, Remus," she said.

His heart leapt to his throat at her words. Everything he'd been wanting but convincing himself he couldn't have was suddenly in his arms, panting for him. His sanity was quickly slipping away.

"I know you have, Dora," Remus purred. "I can smell it. Do you have any idea how crazy it makes me?"

She tilted her chin up. "Show me," she challenged.

"What, here in the alley? Where anyone can walk by?" he shot back. "Do you really want me that badly?"


Tonks had barely finished the word before the floodgates opened. Suddenly, Remus' mouth was on hers, his tongue plundering while his fingers inched their way up her thighs to brush against her knickers. She gasped and he went for her neck, sucking a love bite into her skin.

"Ahh… Remus…"

"Dora…" he murmured into her skin, running his tongue up and down her neck, feeling her pulse race. "Morph back, darling. Let me see you. Give me the pink hair and that adorable little nose."

He pulled back to watch as he felt her shift. The long, auburn hair she'd been sporting shrank up to her usual short spikes and lightened to bubblegum pink. Her skin became the peaches-and-cream he'd salivated over, and her chest and hips filled out.

"Beautiful," he breathed. He hiked her up just enough to place wet kisses on the top of her chest. Tonks moaned and used her wand to slice open the front of her dress and release her breasts for him. Remus growled as he ducked his head to take a taut nipple in his mouth while her fingers threaded into his hair.

Tonks reached between them to untuck his shirt as he lowered her again. She undid his belt and flies and relished in watching him go cross-eyed when she slipped her hand inside his trousers. He rested his forehead against hers as she stroked him.

"Dora, darling, I need you," he rasped.

"The take me," she answered, pulling his hardness free.

Remus pulled her knickers to the side and kissed her again as he surged into her. "Ahh…" he groaned. "Please tell me… that you're… on the potion…" he gasped.

She nodded. "It's… regulation," she panted.

"Thank Merlin."

Remus kissed her again as he began moving, his thrusts hard and fast due to the influence the wolf had on him. Dimly, he promised himself that if she ever let him shag her again, he'd take her slowly and lovingly like she deserved, but that thought flew away as her orgasm snuck up on him.

Her tight, wet heat clamped down around him, knocking the wind out of his lungs and making his vision blurry. Tonks' shouts of pleasure rang in his ears and he stopped moving completely while she bucked against him. She shuddered as she came down and he mouthed at a spot behind her left ear as he started moving his hips again, seeking his own release.

"Come on, Remus," she encouraged him hoarsely, "shag me stupid. I've never come so fast in my life. Do it again, yeah? Fuck me till I scream. This whole area of London will know what a brilliant screw you are by the time I'm done."

"Fuck, Dora," Remus grunted, spurred on by her filthy talk. He'd dreamt of her beautiful lips talking dirty to him, but nothing could have prepared him for the reality of those lips at his ear, her hot breath tickling his skin. "I'm close, darling. Come with me. One more time. Give me one more."

He snapped his hips harder and faster into her and she brought a hand down to rub at her clit. The nails of her other hand dug into the back of his neck and she keened, a nearly inhuman sound coming out of her as she fell a second time. This time he was no match for her and Remus came spectacularly, grunting into her neck and slamming into her once, twice, thrice more.

Spent, Remus trembled as he disengaged from her body and carefully set her back on her feet. It did his ego good to see that she was equally unsteady. A tiny voice in his head reminded him that she was usually unsteady on her feet, but he was content at the moment to believe it was him that was responsible for the current wobble. She leaned against the wall behind her and smiled dopily up at him and he allowed himself a cocky grin.

"Absolutely not," she croaked when he pulled his wand out to clean her up after tucking himself away. "Everything stays exactly where it is."

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Everything?" he asked, eyeing her exposed breasts.

Tonks huffed, but wrestled her bosom back into the dress and stitched up the split. "I suppose I'll take someone's eye out if I leave those hanging out, eh?"

Gently, Remus ran his index finger down her cleavage. "Stunning," he said.

She grinned. "D'you know, I took you for more of an arse man," she teased. "All that time I spent trying to get your attention… should have just flashed you and been done with it!"

Remus smiled at her ribbing, but then turned serious. "Will you let me take you out sometime?" he asked. "Properly? We've sort of done things a bit backwards here, and I'd like to remedy that, if you'll let me."

Tonks pushed herself off the wall and leaned into him. "I'd like that," she said. "Are you really as old fashioned about that as Sirius says, or is he just taking the mickey?"

Instead of answering her, Remus conjured a single rose - pink, like her hair - and handed it to her. Even in the darkness he could see her blush.

"I like flowers," she murmured.

Remus stroked her cheek. "I like you," he countered.

"I like you, too," she whispered, nuzzling his hand. He growled softly and she raised herself up to kiss him, but he stopped her.

"Remember the moon, Dora," he reminded her. "If you start that, I'll end up taking you in this alley again, and the next time we make love I want it to be in a bed, with soft sheets."

"There's a bed with soft sheets in my flat."

Remus couldn't help it, he laughed. "You're insatiable, aren't you?"

"I am half a Black, you know."

"I haven't forgotten," Remus said. "But you've forgotten that we need to report to Headquarters. If we don't, they'll come looking for us."

Tonks pouted. "What about after we report?"

Remus gave a slow smile and shrugged. "I'm free."

Tonks narrowed her eyes playfully. "What a coincidence. So am I." She took one last look at their alley and grabbed his arm. "What do you say we make our report and then hunt down that bed with the soft sheets?"

Remus wrapped an arm around her waist and, with a crack!, they were gone.