Disclaimer: The characters and locations within this story come from the mind of J.K. Rowling, and belong to her and her various publishers. I make no money from these stories. There are also influence from Black Adder and Red Dwarf – probably others, too. They're not mine either. Just the plot. If you want to archive, just send me an e-mail!

Dedication: To my boyfriend, Chris, for making me wonder what it would be like to switch bodies with him for a week!

I Believe in Faeries - Prologue

"Please, Hermione," Draco's hot breath smoothed its way across her throat as he spoke.

"No!" She pushed him away, breathing heavily.

He stood about a foot away from her, white shirt un-tucked from his black jeans and hair looking handsomely scruffy. "I just don't understand you! You were all over me a moment ago."

Hermione sat up straight on the Potions desk and smoothed her hair back from her face. "I just don't see what the rush is," she said quietly, "And I was not 'all over you'."

Draco's eyes slid to the door and he shrugged nonchalantly. "Whatever, Hermione. When you're ready to grow up a bit, send me an owl." He strode purposely to the door without looking back at her.

The head girl's jaw dropped. "Me grow up?" She said to the slammed door. She let out a grunt of frustration as she slid off the desk and adjusted her clothing into a style suitable to her position. "Honestly, he's the one that won't tell anyone about us because of some stupid house rivalry," she mumbled indignantly. "I just wish I could understand men, I really do."

***

"Lavendar, come out! Please? You know I didn't mean it that way." Ron thought he must look rather stupid, stood in the middle of the Gryffindor dormitory corridor shouting at a door.

"I don't know any such thing," the door shouted back, "Why would you say it if you didn't mean it?"

Ron raised a hand to his cheek, which was still throbbing from where Lavendar had slapped it. "Lavendar, please. Just let me explain."

"You've done enough explaining for one night." There was a small snuffle from the door. "Just go away, Ron."

Ron gave a sigh of exasperation. "Fine!" He walked purposely down the corridor, glaring at the eyes he could see peeping out of keyholes. "Bloody women. No logic. Never listen. Just wish I could get inside one of their heads and find on if anything actually goes on there."

***

"Snape, have you seen it?"

Professor Snape, as he did with everything, took his time looking up from his book and at great length met Professor Lupin's gaze. "Seen what, wolf boy?"

Lupin was far too distracted to bother with banter. "A fairy. About a foot in height, blue all over with black hair."

Snape gave a very wide, self-satisfied smirk. "Don't tell me you have actually managed to lose a fairy in a school full of imbecilic infants who know no better than to watch what they say? Oh, Lupin, I do believe you have surpassed yourself."

"It's not funny, Snape." The werewolf looked wildly around the staff room, hoping that the fairy would give itself away by some miracle.

"Indeed it isn't. Watching you getting into trouble for it, however, will be."

Lupin scowled at his colleague. "You couldn't just be a normal human being and help me look for it, could you?"

"You obviously haven't been listening closely enough to the students. I am not human. I am a horrible vampire-banshee-boggart hybrid designed to terrorise and torture innocent children." He looked up and attempted to pull a face that fitted this description.

Lupin rolled his eyes. "Fine, be useless." He rushed back out of the door to continue his search.

"Don't worry, I will be."

***

Somewhere between the dungeons and Gryffindor tower, a fairy fluttered in mid-air. She was turning summersaults in the air in front of a mirror, thinking how very pretty she looked.

Then her super-sensitive fey hearing picked up on two simultaneous teenage laments. She giggled and twitched her nose. Two sprinkles of silver glitter sped from her form in two separate directions, but on very similar purposes.

"Done!"

***

First proper chapter is on the way. Pleeeeeease review, because it makes fics worth writing!