James The Lesser Presents
Daria Gender Flip Diary
A/N I have been working on my original work, published on Amazon Seth Quillet, but want to get back to FF. But... I don't have the time to do a full FF. That, and The Other J-D did an amazing job with his own Daria GF. So I decided I would do a Daria/Drake GF, but in a diary form between Drake and Jane. Cutting out all of the side stuff/character will let me do it much faster.
Ms. Li is up to something. What, I'm not sure yet. She is holding a meeting on Superbowl Sunday that she doesn't want anyone knowing about.
It didn't take much to convince Jane to come with me.
Ms. Li sold the school to a soda company. Which means I get to use red paint in art class again.
Drake says this is just the start of something bad. I'm sure he's right but I also like being able to use red paint.
We'll see what happens.
Ms. Li went full The Shining on the soda machines. It was scary and hilarious all at the same time. After all, it was Ms. Li swinging an axe. On the other hand, it was Ms. Li swinging an axe at the soda machines she demanded be put in.
Drake and Quinn have a five year summer camp reunion thing to go to. I volunteered my brother to drive them out.
I miss Trent, not living with him, and this will be a great chance to spend more time with him.
Drake always seems cautious around him but he shouldn't be. It wasn't his fault what happened. Trent knows that. Maybe I should tell Drake that.
Riding in the Tank with Trent and Jane is fine. My sister... Well, she's been mostly silent. Thankfully.
Jane told me before Trent came over that he doesn't blame me for what happened. Somehow she picked up on, whatever it was, I felt. She's more perceptive than she gives off.
Now we are relying on the Tank, and Trent, to get Quinn and I to the summer camp from Hell.
While Drake and his sister run around summer camp, Trent and I went out looking for inspiration. Why, I'm not sure.
The locals we met were less than helpful. Trent fell for it at first but he picked up, eventually, that they were kooks.
Getting back to pick up Drake and Quinn I saw that Drake had a fan club. Led by some girl. He never mentioned her before but I know the look on her face. Drake didn't seem to notice. He was oblivious to her. She may as well have been Brittany or Kevin.
My stomach churned with feelings. I was jealous but seeing his reaction, lack of one, also made me feel good.
If I notice him, obviously others will. Him not noticing others makes me wonder even more about what is it about me? He has no other real friends. None from, wherever Texas, or Lawndale.
So, what was it about me? Why did he let me be friends with him? Why did I let him be friends with me? I had my art and my brother and nothing else.
Riding with Trent, spending the day with him, made me realize how much I miss him. Just the way we could spend days at the house without a word. Knowing the other was there if we needed anything.
Maybe when I turn 18 I can move back in? Will that be allowed? I'll be an adult, right?
Would Drake be mad? I live with him so we spend more time together than we could if I didn't. Well, but, his mom is always keeping an eye on us. If I moved out then I'd have my room and could be alone with him.
Oh god, would Mrs. Morgendorffer let him come over? She would have to know, at least suspect, even though we haven't done anything. Well, I mean, under shirt over bra stuff but that's it.
When I turn 18 I could move out and then he could come over and... Stop thinking about this!
Oh, crap, Drake is coming over. I guess he's ready to leave his fan club.
Jane's been acting weird. Why, I have no idea. She said her and her brother found nothing but kooks in the countryside. Nothing about it should have changed her.
For some reason though she is. She's not the same Jane. Did her brother tell her something while they were out? Did something happen to her parents? Are they losing the house? Why wouldn't she tell me?
On top of this, her birthday is coming... She turns 18. What if that is why she's acting so weird? She's only a few months older than I am but is she thinking about how she'll be an adult and I won't be? What if she wants to break up?
If she does... What if she doesn't want to be friends after? I, it's a free world, if we break up I'll, hell. I have to talk to her.
Drake is freaking me out. I swear he was about to cry. Asking me if I was breaking up with him just because I was turning 18 soon.
How he got that idea in his head, I have no idea.
Helen wasn't home, so I closed the door, and we talked.
I was able to get my idea out to him. About moving out when I turned 18. How I would be back with Trent. Having my own room where I could be alone. Alone with him.
His dad is downstairs. With the door closed I could hug him and kiss him. I can't believe the big idiot thought I was going to break up with him. I can't imagine how that ate away at him. How upset he was by it actually made me happy. Like, I know that sounds messed up but it did.
Being in bed, well, on top of the bed together was nice. Holding each other, him saying he loved me, made me rethink about moving out.
Jane is thinking of moving out! She wants to move back home with her brother. Where she'd have her room far away from my mom's eyes. Where we could be alone.
In the guest room, with the door closed, we, I wouldn't call it making out. It was more personal than that. There was more than kissing but nothing physical. I can't explain it.
It wasn't until my mom got home and we heard the front door close that we stopped.
If she moves out will we do what we did at her house? More? Oh, wow. I need to... Well, write out my thoughts in you.
I'm dating a teacher. Kinky? No, not really. Drake got pulled into being a substitute teacher. It's stupid, but hey, I got to make that joke.
And I get a pass from class to help the teachers make better protest signs.
After the teaching fiasco, I have to deal with Jane's paranoia.
She got a job with Gary' Gallry making copies of famous painters work. Then she wondered if he was selling them as real. She really thought her work was being passed off as original.
I'm not sure what hurt me more. Her thinking she was being part of a con or finding out her work was sloppy.
It wasn't her work. It was copies of other people's work. Why she didn't put her heart into it. I told her that and I hope she believed me.
All of this distracted me from the fact her birthday is coming up. She'll be 18. She hasn't brought up moving out since the first time but is she still thinking about doing it? I'd miss having her just down the hall but she'd be back at her house. Her room. Away from my mom and dad and Quinn.
Gah, my heart beats faster just thinking about it.
I had to get Mrs. Morgendorffer alone. I had to ask her about the legalities of me moving back home. I turn 18 tomorrow so I'd be an adult.
Mrs. Morgendorffer said she understood where I was coming from and that while yes, I'd be 18, the law still saw her as my legal guardian until I graduated high school. Something about being in school meant I was still under, whatever, with her.
I'm glad I didn't tell Trent about my idea. He'd be heartbroken if he thought I was about to move back but couldn't.
Hell, I'm a little broken by it. I love Drake, I do, and living with him after what happened has been a life saver. I could be in a foster home five hundred miles away if it wasn't for his mom.
But, I miss home. I miss Trent. I want to scream and cry but I can't. I'm not home. I do that there and either Trent is with his friends or has music on or whatever. Here I have people. People who will come running in to check on me because they care about me.
Drake, gah, he loves me.
Helen cares so much she put her own time and energy and probably money into becoming my guardian. Even knowing there would be complications because I'm dating her son.
Jake seems to like me. He is always nice to me and checks on me. I'm like a second daughter to him.
At home I could scream and cry and still be alone. If I do that here I'll have someone check on me. Care for me.
It makes me want to cry even more.
I better put you away before the waterworks start. I don't need to get tears on the pages.
She seems distant, distracted. Is she thinking about how being 18 wasn't the, release, she hoped it would be? I saw her eyes were red the next morning. I knew she was crying.
I bought her some art supplies and a new earring for her birthday but when I saw her that morning I hid them. She acted like nothing was wrong but I knew there was.
Trying all day at school, she said there was nothing wrong. It was BS and I told her so.
We went to the school roof and she told me how she was stuck at my house. Because she was still in school my mom was still her guardian. She loved me, and liked my parents, but she missed home. Her brother. The freedom she had.
All I could do was hold her and let her cry on my shoulder while we skipped lunch.
Jane had to deal with Auntageddon. She couldn't run away and neither could I.
It was enough to distract me from thinking about scholarships. Like the one I finally put in for.
The company is sexist, probably racist, but the money isn't. It will help pay for college.
Which is coming faster than I like to admit.
Maybe I should help Jane? She needs to think about college too.
I want to help her any way I can. She still seems upset about not being allowed to go home. She makes sure to tell me she loves me whenever it comes up. I understand. She misses her home, her brother. Being under the watchful eye of my mom all the time is stressful. If she were back at home she could weld in her room and we could...
I'm distracting myself from the stupid scholarship. One I need but don't want because the company is scum.
Crap! We fell asleep while working on homework. Helen was dominating downstairs on the phone, Quinn was playing garbage, so we closed the door to Drake's room for peace and quiet. We didn't do anything but when I woke up, saw the time, I freaked out a little.
It wasn't that big a deal. Just walk down the hall to my room.
I couldn't help but look back at his door. Thinking about how we were so close. Late into the night. Unable to actually do anything.
My house may as well be on the Moon. My room in another galaxy. Living here is the best thing that could have happened to me. Another relative, a foster home, would be worse.
I'll just have to handle being here until I graduate. Then I can move back home.
Where we can be alone...
Thank, I hate to say it since I'm not sure anything like that exists, but thank god for Jane. Without her I have no idea what I would have done.
It started with a refrigerator box. It reminded me of a fight years ago. My dad left.
For some reason I had to crawl inside and hug my legs while the images played in my head. The shouting, the doors slamming, and the tires squealing as he drove away.
Worse, he is away. Some business conference. I know that's what it was but my mind kept thinking of that fight.
How it was my fault. Before I learned to hide better. Before self defense classes and learning to control myself better. My parents would be called to school every week because of me. When I would speak my mind, piss off people around me, and not care. I was smarter than everyone and made sure they knew it.
Letting everyone know I was smarter, better, made things worse for my parents. I was so self centered I didn't care. Screw the teachers and other kids. I was better and knew it. It wasn't until I took self defense classes and learned to control myself that it stopped.
Being in the box, alone, thinking about it made me hate myself worse than ever. I've reflected on myself before, I'm sure everyone has. It is one of the reasons why I stopped acting like that. When I was old enough to see what I was doing wasn't destructive to me but my parents is when I stopped.
Yet that box brought it all back ten times worse.
Jane saw me and joined me. I must have talked her ear off for a good hour or so. She listened. She cared. She loved me even as I whined about my terrible past choices that have probably been forgotten by everyone but me.
My parents sent me to see shrinks countless times.
Sitting and talking with Jane for an hour was more therapeutic and helpful than all of those professionals combined.
Graduation is coming and I'm scrambling. I know college is important but where do I go? BFAC is an amazing college but it's a lot more expensive. It's also in the same city as Raft. Drake's main school.
His safe school, Crest University, is out of my league. BFAC might be out of my league. My safe schools would never take Drake because he'd make all of the other students look bad.
And with graduation comes freedom. I can move home. Except, I know Mrs. Morgendorffer wouldn't just let him spend the night. She might not let him over. He's still 17. I'd have to go over to see him and then go home whenever.
I know journal it sounds like I'm just waiting to, uh, you know... But I'm not. It isn't just that. I love him and want to be able to hold hands or kiss without worrying his mom is going to swoop down on us. Cuddle on the couch and watch TV without her making us put a few inches between us.
Maybe... Well, I'm terrified of thinking of that but I do think about it. I've known Drake for years. Dating just meant we were a little closer than when we were friends. And really, it hasn't been that close. Except for one or two times it really is just holding hands at school or a kiss on the cheek. We can't do anything else because Mrs. Morgendorffer, Jake, or Quinn is at the house.
Hell, even when he turns 18 he'd still be living at home. She'd still be his mom. I know she won't just let him go do what he wants. What I want.
After school today I had to go for a hard run. Get away from Lawndale. Go off to the woods so I could scream and pound my fist against a tree. Trying to let out all of my frustration and anger and whatever the hell else I was feeling. I want I want I want and I can't have it. Being an adult, graduating from school, in the end it doesn't matter.
Jane sent her portfolio to BFAC. I put in for Raft. They're both in Boston and it would be great if we could get to go to both of our first choices.
My mom brought up Bromwell but they care more about who you know than what you know. If I knew someone from there then maybe I could apply but I don't.
Man, if we get in, it will get a lot of stress off of both of us.
Jane is getting antsy and I'm not sure if it is about graduating or moving out. I know she wants to go home even if it is only for a couple of months.
I'm nervous about it. If she lives there again... We never did anything before. We kissed, held hands, you know? Now... We've made out, sometimes a little more, but not much. I want to do more but I'm scared and I know she has to be.
When she moves out will my mom let me go over? She knows now that Jane's parents were never home. She never really asked before but maybe she thought someone was home. Someone besides Trent.
Now that she knows will she not let me go over? If she does then... I mean, dammit. I need someone to talk to and you can't talk back. Jane is part of this so I can't talk to her about this.
Dad? He's always so flighty and excitable. I can't ask him to get mom to let me go over to Jane's since it would just make her wonder why I felt the need to ask him.
Dating is hard and what I'm feeling isn't something I can put in words. Writing is limited by words while emotions have no limits. Maybe I should stop writing, stop thinking, and just feel.
Drake told me he loved me. I knew that, he's said it before. He tried to explain it that it was more than that. He didn't just love me he loved me. The idea, the future, of me. That he wanted to be there for me. All of me.
I had an idea and well... I grabbed his hand, told Mrs. Morgendorffer we were going to see a movie, and then went back to my house.
Trent was out doing whatever but I still had my key.
Drake was sweating but silent. I wasn't even sure what I was going to do I was just moving forward, dragging him with me.
We were in my room. The first time I stood in it since the whole running away thing bit me in the ass.
I hugged him, told him I loved him and then...
Being with Jane, being with Jane, was amazing.
We were able to hold on to each other, be with each other, for a couple of hours. After all, Jane did say we were going to see a movie.
Those two hours together. Not just the, wow, but the after. Holding each other and talking and kissing her on the forehead while she draped a leg across mine. I never wanted it to end.
Of course, it had to. We had to go back. Making a loop so we would be coming from the other direction.
Sitting in my room, hunched over you, trying to make tonight seem real and not the dream it must be. I love her and she loves me and I never want to be apart from her again. Not physically, obviously we can't be attached at the hip. I mean emotionally. Mentally. I never want there to be a moment where we aren't connected like that.
Graduating is only the third biggest moment for me this week.
I got accepted. BFAC accepted me and Raft accepted Drake. We're both going to Boston.
Even that is second to something. Being with Drake was far bigger and better. Ha, there's a penis joke somewhere in there.
He had to give a speech after winning an award for being a brain with no extra curricular activities. It was cute, and his comment about pizza got a smile from everyone.
My brother made it. At least one member of the Lane Clan did and it was enough.
Mrs. Morgendorffer invited him with us to go out and eat. That was nice of her.
She is nice. She took me in when she didn't have to. She's done so much for me.
I have been fighting back and forth on what I will do for days. Will I move back or won't I? I know what I want but what do I need? I want to be home with Trent and my room but is that what is best for me? Mrs. Morgendorffer helped my parents set up a college fund for me. I had no idea and she didn't tell me until I was accepted to Raft. Jake even hinted that he and Mrs. Morgendorffer put some money in it as a graduation gift. They didn't have to and yet they did. Because they care for me.
Moving home is my dream but it is just a dream. Reality is telling me to stay at the Morgendorffer Castle. If I need help Jake and Mrs. Morgendorffer are there to help. Help me with paperwork I know is coming. Help me with figuring out what I am going to do. My parents are busy and who knows where. Drake's parents are here and willing to help me.
So, moving home will remain a dream.
Drake and I can always sneak away when we want to do more than hold hands...
Jane and I are going to Boston soon.
After spending summer together, sneaking off when we wanted, it almost seems unreal.
We'll be in Boston. Away from Lawndale.
Mr. Lane came home for a visit and did a family portrait for my mom and dad. One last professional photo of Quinn, my parents, and myself.
It felt weird not having Jane be in it. It felt weird not having her be a part of the family. Remembering she is a Lane and not... Well, maybe after college I can change her last name.
A/N And so this series ends! I liked doing it in Diary/Journal format.
And there was a long break between 1,2,3 and 4,5 because I was working on my original book, Unique Monster, part of the Monster series, on Amazon. Just search Seth Quillet on there and my books should pop up.