God Shuffled His Feet: An Alias/Buffy Crossover
By: Sam Lincoln
Summary: An ancient evil stalks Agent Sydney Bristow
Spoilers: General spoilers for the current seasons of Alias, and Buffy, but nothing specific to any storyline.
Disclaimer: All characters from Buffy and Angel are property of Mutant Enemy. All characters from Alias are property of Bad Robot and Touchstone Television. All characters are used without permission and no infringement is intended.
God Shuffled His Feet: Epilogue
"...so we come back to the house and that's when we found Giles totally making out with the scary Army lady," Xander said to Buffy and Willow.
"We were not, it was simply a congratulatory gesture for having survived the zombie attack," Giles protested.
"Then why were you hands down..." Anya started to say.
"Anya!" Buffy exclaimed. "There are children present," she motioned to Dawn.
"Yeah, minors even, so dish the dirt," Dawn said.
"Given the events of the past couple days I find it hard to believe there's nothing better to talk about then what may or may not have happened between myself and Colonel Fraser," Giles said stiffly.
"Uh-oh, we've awoken 'Grumpy Giles,' nobody poke it with sticks," Willow joked.
"I think it's safe to say I've never been in a debriefing quite like this," Sydney observed. She and Vaughn had driven Buffy and Willow back to Sunnydale so they could collect Will.
"I say Will's ready for field service," Vaughn commented.
"Oh no if I needed anymore convincing that I have had more than enough excitement in my then this was it," Will emphatically said.
"Wuss," Anya muttered under her breath.
"You sure cleaned the house up in a hurry," Buffy noted as she looked around the living room which bore signs of frantic construction work.
"Yeah, the colonel loaned us a couple of soldiers to get the work done," Xander said
"The hard part was getting rid of the zombie funk," Anya added. "It took lots of lemon."
"Well you did a good job of it," Willow insisted. "You can't even tell a zombie army rampaged through here."
"Buffy, do you think the First will try to kidnap Sydney again?" Vaughn asked, shifting the conversation to the topic he was most interested in.
Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment. "I don't think so, after all the temple did get destroyed. Giles, you're the man with the knowledge, what do you think?"
Giles adjusted his glasses, "I should say Miss Bristow has more pressing matters to worry about. Just be ever vigilant. The First's motives are clear, but the way it seeks to achieve those goals are less so."
Sydney nodded, "So in addition to worrying about an evil criminal genius I also have the embodiment of all evil gunning for me, great."
Willow nodded, "That's about it, but if the First gives you any trouble you know who to call...Buffy."
Sydney smiled, "Thanks Willow."
"Just next time, include a little gratuity, it gets expensive rebuilding this house after every attack," Anya said. "You're with the government, you have money to burn."
"While money is good, it's also not necessary," Buffy quickly added. "I'll kick the First's ass free of charge any day...that is, if you could physically kick it's ass."
"Hey do you know what this calls for?" Xander rhetorically asked the group.
"A party?" Dawn hopefully replied.
"Not just a party, but a hootenanny," Xander confirmed. "How about it CIA types, up for some unwinding?"
Sydney glanced at Vaughn who nodded. "Sure, just don't expect too much out of us."
"We just expect you to drink a lot and then spill all sorts of juicy secrets," Anya said.
"I'm in," Will said. "Provided you can promise no zombies."
"We can promise no zombies," Buffy told Will, "but I can't say anything about vampires or demons."
Will shrugged, "Good enough for me."
The group all stood up. "Giles, wanna come with?" Willow asked.
"No I think," Giles started to say. "No I've nearly been eaten by zombies twice recently, the only proper thing to do is to celebrate this fact with drinks, and hopefully scourge it out of memory in the process."
"Plus I heard some of the soldiers talking about how they were going to have a shindig there tonight," Dawn informed the rest of the group.
"That has nothing to do with it..."Giles protested as they walked out of the house.
"Uhm, hello?" Andre asked from upstairs, "Could someone get me some toilet paper? We're all out up here."
A man wearing a priest's outfit walked into a nondescript office building on the outskirts of Geneva. The sign on the door identified the building as being the property of a low key import export firm, but the security measures surrounding the building spoke of a different purpose.
"Can I help you?" A slightly gaunt man with spiky blonde hair and a refined British accent asked the man dressed as a priest.
"Yeah, I'd like to speak with your boss, Mr. Arvin Sloane," The priest asked in a broad southern accent.
"I'm afraid I have no idea who you are talking about," the blonde man said politely
"Oh yes you do Mr. Sark."
Sark reached into his jacket and removed a pistol. "I think you should be leaving now Father."
"Oh no, see I have a divine mission to talk to your boss and you won't stand in my way." Before Sark could react the priest grabbed the gun out of Sark's hand then crushed the barrel. "Now then I'm going to ask again, can I see your boss? And if you say no the next thing I crush will be your neck." Sark nodded and motioned for the priest to follow him. "That's very kind of you sir. And everyone told me that I wouldn't find anyone polite over here."
Sark lead the priest back to Sloane's office and gently knocked on the door. "A visitor to see you Mr. Sloane." Sark announced.
"I wasn't expecting anyone," Sloane pointed out.
"I know, but the gentleman was very persuasive," Sark said. He massaged his still sore neck.
"I see, well have a seat Mr. ?" Sloane asked the priest without batting an eyelash.
"The name's Caleb," the priest said.
"Well Mr. Caleb what can I do for you?"
"It's not what you can do for me, it's what I can do for you Mr. Sloane."
Sloane leaned forward in his chair. "And just what might that be?"
"I thought that would be obvious, power Mr. Sloane. I offer you the sort of power that only the divine can provide. More power than Rambaldi can possibly offer. The power to make all who oppose you burn."
"I take it you're not here as a representative of Holy Mother Church?" Sloane inquired.
"I remain a holy man so I still wear the vestments of my former calling."
"So what do we need to do?"
"Nothing, when the holy spirit needs you it will let you know. Until that time if there's anything or anyone you need dealt with just let me know."
"You do us a favor now and we return the gesture at a later date?"
Caleb nodded, "Precisely."
"What if I refuse?"
"Then you're a non-believer and I will be forced to scourge you with fire to purify your soul."
"In that case let's talk more about your offer."
"Hallelujah, welcome to the flock Brother Sloane," Caleb said.
* This is probably my last Alias/Buffy crossover for a while. I have the glimmerings of an idea for a third story, but it needs more work in the development process
* The Hinduism is mostly correct. I did some research into Hindu mythology looking for the appropriate demon, and I hope I was at least somewhat internally consistent in that regards.
* This story is very loosely based off of a famous story, can you guess what it is?