Author's Notes: I couldn't write the Chapter 2 of Listen and I was having difficulty writing the new chapter of Forbidden so I decided to 'rearrange' my thoughts and get my brain going by writing this and the other KHR fic.
WARNING: This is crack so the MiraGen are kind of loco here.
Summary: "You know what would make it rain?" Aomine pipes up. "Tie Kise to a pole and have a 'Touch a Model Today!' booth." Kise shrugs. "I'm fine as long as Kurokocchi gets to touch me."Crack-fic. Slight!KiKuro and Momokuro.
Make it Rain for Nijimura-senpai
Because only after the rain do rainbows appear
The annual cultural festival is two weeks away and Teiko's basketball club, no matter how strong and undefeated, falls short with coming up for ideas for the festival. The obvious choices – cafes, plays, horror booths – have been taken and shared by the other clubs, so there is no point in adding another into the overused pile of booth concepts. Spearheaded by Akashi Seijuuro who demands absolute perfection and the pinnacle of the victory triangle, Teiko basketball team must be the most unique and well-earned booth in the whole school. The Vice-captain has delivered of what could have been a well-meaning and inspirational speech to motivate the members, if not for the threat that if they lose, their loss will haunt their hearts forever that they will flunk to their desired college, get fired after 10 years of dedication, and remain single forever. The rest of the club is not sure if Akashi can hex them like this, but after rumours that he has bound the Generation of Miracles in eternal friendship through a spell one night, they rather not take their chances.
"So, any ideas?" Akashi says, smiling and encouraging as a Kindergarten teacher. "Feel free to pitch it any idea that comes to your mind. Don't be afraid, any idea is well worth the mention!"
Tanaka raises his hand. "Perhaps we can do a knick-knack selling booth?"
Akashi frowns. "That's a horrible idea. Please crawl in a hole and die," then he turns to the rest of the crowd. "Any more ideas?"
Murasakibara raises his hand. "Yes, Atsushi?"
"Maybe we can have a booth where people can dress up as maibou wafers without being judged."
"Hm, interesting. We'll consider that as one of our ideas." Momoi writes the idea on the white board, next to 'Tanaka's idea is horrible'. Kise waves his hand. "Yes, Ryouta?"
"I just thought of something grand!" Kise says. "What if – wait for it – we have a photo booth? Have the girls and fans take pictures with their favourite basketball stars?" The model strikes an obnoxious pose, looking like he is hugging a walrus in thin air. The crowd wonders if he truly is a model whose face is frequently photoshopped into other male bodies so as to look like he is modelling.
"That sounds vain of you," Tanaka pipes in.
"Tanaka, that is no way of encouraging your juniors to think of ideas. Maybe you should learn not to damper on someone's ideas and make them feel stupid," Akashi says.
"Though, Kise-chin does sound vain," Murasakibara adds.
Akashi nods approvingly. "I can say so myself."
Tanaka's nostrils flare, and his friend pats his shoulder while shaking his head, as if saying that confronting them isn't worth it. In the background, Kuroko raises his hand. "Yes, Tetsuya?"
"Why is Nijimura-senpai's picture on the wall?" All heads turn to the direction of Kuroko's finger. A photo of Nijimura's neutral mug shot stands still in a black frame draped in black ribbons. As if on cue, Akashi and Momoi bring out their handkerchiefs and wipe an imaginary tear from their faces.
"Ah, very observant of you, Tetsuya. Just recently, Nijimura-senpai has passed away – "
"That's impossible!" Midorima exclaims. "I just saw him this morning!"
"Seeing has never been your strong point, Shintarou. I'm afraid we can't trust your eyes on this one,"
"But – "
"Tut, tut. Now, Shintarou. Which one of us has wears the glasses?"
Kuroko shrugs. "Akashi-kun does have a point."
Midorima growls. "I can shoot three points – "
Akashi clears his throat to silence the two. "Anyway, as I was saying, our Captain's dead, so I'm in charge now – "
"Cough! Might-or-might-not-have-been-usurped-by-our-vice-captain, coughs!" Kuroko coughs.
" – and in order to get Nijimura-senpai back is to make it rain hard enough for him to reappear again."
"Wait a minute, Nijimura's not a freaking rainbow!" Tanaka exclaims. "And that's not what that American slang means!"
"SILENCE TANAKA YOUR NEGATIVE ENERGY IS KILLING US ALL!" Tanaka squeaks. "Anyway, like I said, we need to have a grand and spectacular booth to save our Captain's life. Something that would wow the audience and make them throw their inheritance money at us. Atsushi's idea is great, but we need something greater!"
"Raise awareness that dressing up as maibou waifers is not a sign of mental illness?" Murasakibara asks.
"No." And Murasakibara deflates.
"You know what would make it rain?" Aomine pipes up. "Tie Kise to a pole and have a 'Touch a Model Today!' booth." Kise shrugs. "I don't mind as long as Kurokocchi gets to touch me."
Kuroko snorts. "In your dreams,"
"Oh, you've done that a lot of times – " Kise and Momoi reply. Once they realize that they had said the same thing, they point their finger with their thumbs raised at each other and say "Eyyyyy". Midorima raises his hand. "I propose a cleansing booth to cleanse my eyes and ears from this insanity." In the background, some of the seniors nod in agreement.
"We can't have it. The swimming club has already claimed it," Akashi says. "Though it might or might get sabotaged, so I advise all of you not to go to their booth unless you want to be purple for the rest of your life." The crowd shivers. Kuroko raises his hand again. "Yes, Tetsuya?"
"Why don't we have a jail booth? Set a tagged colour day and catch those people who are wearing that tagged colour. If they want to be released, they have to pay a fine, and if they don't want to pay a fine, they have to pay an additional fine," Teiko's trump card explains. "We can also set conditions like 'those who hate vanilla milkshakes will pay 1000 yen' or 'those who called Kuroko Tetsuya short will pay 5000 yen' –"
"That's just tyranny!"
" – or 'Those who oppose Kuroko Tetsuya will pay 10,000 yen'…"
Akashi nods approvingly. "Evil, cunning, I like it. Then it's decided, our booth will be – "
"Hold up! You can't just decide for the whole club!" Tanaka interjects.
"Nope, he can," Momoi speaks. She procures a small piece of paper from her pocket and reads the contents out loud. "Presidential Decree 1: Under the democratic rule of Akashi Seijuurou, Teiko basketball club will be put under dictatorship. Any enemies, traitors, or defectors of the state will have triple the training menu and be Momoi Satsuki's taste testers. Signed on this day, Akashi Seijuuro."
"That just doesn't make any sense!"
"Well then, that makes you a traitor, " Akashi says. "Satsuki?" Momoi happily salutes before she incapacitates Tanaka using Taijutsu, and drags him screaming to the locker room where he shall be made to eat the bentous that were denied by her friends and peers. "Sa-chin goes to Taijutsu classes as part of her counselling 'cause she obsesses over Kuro-chin too much," Murasakibara explains, which are met with 'Ooohs' and 'Aahhs' and 'That makes perfect sense'.
"Then, without further ado, we shall make our booth the greatest jail booth that Teiko has ever seen!" And Akashi is met with confused and forced, enthusiastic cheers because their lives depend on it.
"…And that's how my juniors usurped the Principal, called for maibou costumes to be the new school uniform, mandated Kuroko Tetsuya to be called 'tall', and made a successful fundraising event through sheer fear and tyranny," Nijimura says. "Any more questions?"
Himuro blinks, his smile unchanging. He only wanted to ask if Skittles are being sold in Japan, but it seems that he'll never be able to eat one ever again.