Sirius gently lifted Remus's leg off the bed and, resting it onto his own legs, began to softly caress his hands over the wolf's tired and knotted skin. His palms slipped easily over Remus, remembering the curves of his body effortlessly. He had spent long hours wrapped in that body, gasping for breath, pushing all expectations of his desire to their limits and then surpassing them. But now it was different, he didn't need to cling to Remus to keep him close. He wasn't afraid of touching him, of holding him. Before it had been intense, fervent, both wanting to do more then was humanly possible, now as Sirius looked into Remus's eyes he was able to read them like never before. The passion had given way to love, a love that would never leave, would never grow old and would never die. They would still claw at each other, he didn't doubt that, but it would be different.
Sirius ran his hand across Remus's inner thigh and the other man shuddered. Sirius looked deep into his face and he knew exactly what Remus was feeling. The simple caress had sent electricity through his whole body. Remus took a sharp breath and Sirius smiled at how easily he could arouse his lover. There was no need to run towards the finish line, rushing into it like he had before, no need to push his hand over Remus's body with forceful energy. He would take his time. It did not need to happen tonight; Remus had been quite clear on how he would have to wait for the right time to mate and Sirius respected that. It was hard though, when all he wanted to do was make love to Remus but couldn't in case the wolf lost control before Remus was ready. He wanted to kiss every part of Remus's skin. He wanted to take Remus to the edge only to pull him back again. Sirius ached, looking at the glisten of Remus's bottom lip. Remus gently chewed on it, trying to contain himself. As Sirius's hand moved slowly up Remus leg, heading further towards his crotch, Sirius noticed Remus clutching a handful of the scarlet bed sheets. Sirius grinned lustfully, he knew he shouldn't be playing with him like this but it was so much fun.
Remus lay on the bed and told himself to breath. He could feel every movement of Sirius's fingers against his exhausted muscles. He could feel the tingling of the Potìn as Sirius worked it into his skin. His body should be relaxing, he told himself, but it couldn't. Every time he felt Sirius's hand creep a little further up his leg he heard himself take a soft intake of breath and he felt his body spasm. He was already on the verge of ecstasy. He had to calm himself. He tried to soothe his breathing but every new stroke brought a need for surprised breath. He could feel his eyes begin to lose focus. No, not yet. He forced himself to concentrate on something... anything.
His eyes fell onto the warm hands that were now above his knee. They wrapped themselves around his thigh like snakes, kneading and massaging the rigid skin. Forcing each muscle into submission. 'If you wanted to know Sirius,' Remus thought. 'You have to know his hands.' To the untrained eye they looked harsh and calloused. They showed years in Azkaban, hours spent clutching broom handles, and a misspent youth. But to Remus eyes, they meant something altogether different. They were the hands of a survivor. Hands that had gone through too much but were still able to feel, still able to love. Remus watched them move over his skin, needing their warmth, needing Sirius. Now!
Remus foot now rested against Sirius's shoulder. His toes curled and arched, involuntarily reacting to Sirius's touch, gently caressing the ends of his hair. Sirius turned his head and hungrily kissed Remus's foot, nipping lightly at his ankle. Remus eyes, which had been trained on Sirius's hands, now fell back as his neck arched upwards and he let out an impassioned gasp. Sirius could feel Remus's pleasure run through his body. It burned his fingers. He wanted to reach down. He wanted to take Remus right now! It would be so easy. Remus would let him, but Sirius had to hold back. He had to fight his urges; he had to do it Remus's way.
Sirius swallowed deeply. 'Not yet... not yet.' His own chest was heaving now. He desperately tried to contain himself, but his fingers were on Remus. They searched his body longingly. 'Stop...' he tried telling himself, 'he isn't strong enough yet.' But it was impossible when Remus's eyes were on him. Watching his every move, reacting to his touch. He could hold out if those beautiful amber eyes weren't staring at him.
Sirius laid down Remus's leg and lightly touched his hip. They didn't need words anymore, Remus understood. He turned onto his stomach, resting his head against his hands. Sirius crawled up Remus's back, pouring some of the cool liquid onto his shoulder. Remus flinched but Sirius's hands were soon on him, warming his flesh. As Sirius worked out a knot in his back, Remus let out a satisfied moan. Sirius felt his head go dizzy with desire. His eyes spotted. His breathing was heavy but he couldn't get enough oxygen into his lungs. It wasn't oxygen he needed.
Remus could hear the labour in Sirius breath over his own. Blood pumped fiercely through his body, heating his skin. He could feel Sirius's hands exploring his back. The hair on his legs pressed against Remus's hips. He moaned again, he couldn't keep it in. Sirius was waiting. He was waiting for Remus to make the first move. Remus's body clenched again. The yearning in his veins was too much, he couldn't wait. All he wanted to be doing was kissing Sirius, caressing him, loving him.
Remus turned and pulled Sirius away from his back and onto the bed beside him. Sirius was surprised. He looked at Remus with eyes that were about to say 'You're not strong enough' but Remus silenced him with a passionate kiss. It took only a moment for Sirius to fall into the embrace. Returning Remus's enthusiasm with just as much commitment. The smell of the Potìn was filling Remus's senses, intoxicating him further.
Without breaking away from Sirius's mouth, he snaked his legs over his hips. He pulled himself onto Sirius's chest, keeping his own body as close to his lover as possible. He wanted to feel every movement, every twist of Sirius's body. Remus ran his fingers up Sirius's face and into the thick locks of his hair. Blackness fell through his fingers as he grasped the hair in his hands. 'Mine... my Sirius, my Padfoot, all mine.' The wolf in him growled, he expected more then words, he wanted to take his mate.
Sirius's arms wrapped around Remus's waist and drew him tighter to him. His hands gripped the flesh on Remus's back. His whole body was aflame. He felt Remus hands in his hair, then on his neck and down his chest. He felt Remus pulling at him, clawing his skin. The wolf's challenge. He had to fight back, he had to struggle. Remus wasn't strong enough but the wolf wouldn't wait. Remus wouldn't wait!
Sirius grabbed Remus's wrists and turned his hands away from his body. He heard a growl emanate from deep in Remus's throat. Sirius flipped him over onto his back, holding Remus hands away from the desired flesh. Remus's eyes snapped open, and the wolf flashed through them. With strength Sirius didn't think he had, Remus shook him off and sent him crashing to the floor. Sirius lay on the floor slightly dazed. He only had a moment before Remus was on top of him again. More aggressive this time. Pinning Sirius under him with a weight he did not possess. This was pure wolf. Moony wanted his mate and no one was going to stop him.
Sirius writhed as Moony brought his mouth down onto his lips in a bruising kiss, his tongue forcing entry, demanding submission from his mate. Sirius yielded to Moony, wanting to give him everything. Wanting to retreat. But Moony didn't give in so easily. He pulled away from Sirius lips and began moving his mouth down to Sirius neck, giving it a sharp bite. Sirius jumped, he hadn't expected that. He pushed his body upwards trying to dislodge his assailant. Moony's weight wavered and Sirius managed to get one hand free. He pushed against Moony, trying to get him away, trying to fight as Remus had told him to.
But he couldn't move. Moony grabbed his hand again and easily held it in his clutches. He was pinned. Remus Lupin had him beat, for real! Moony lifted his head from Sirius neck, a triumphant glint was in his eye and he looked at Sirius as if to say 'NOW you're mine!' He lowered his head and kissed Sirius again. The strength of the kiss was overwhelming, primal, but it gave way to tenderness and Sirius felt the grip on his hand loosen as Remus fell into his arms again.
Sirius wrapped his arms around his lover... his mate. He had wanted this for so long. True he had been afraid, but not of the love. He had been afraid of the tenderness, the touching. He had been afraid that he wouldn't be good enough for Remus. That he would eventually disappoint Remus no matter how hard he tried not to. But now, as he lay on the floor, he felt his love envelope the both of them. Sirius knew that for the wolf there was an almost tangible connection that drew him to his mate but lying there on the floor he could feel it too. He knew that no matter what happened he would need Remus, his body lung to him even now. 'Finally,' Sirius thought. 'He's mine.'
Remus lifted his head up and kissed Sirius's jaw gently.
"Why did you let me win so easily?"
Sirius had laughed at the question.
"Easily! You had me pinned Remus. You won fair and square." Remus looked into Sirius's eyes. He knew he wasn't lying but how had he managed to beat him? Remus's eyes fell to Sirius's neck, where a bite mark glistened with blood. The Wolf!
"Did I hurt you much?" he asked feeling strangely calm about the question for the first time in his life. Sirius looked deep into his eyes. He didn't need to answer the question. His eyes said it all.
Remus reached his hand up to Sirius jaw and ran his finger along its line. He examined Sirius's face for a long time. It had changed. It seemed to be peaceful... content. They both knew that they would have to deal with awful times in the future but it didn't seem so hard to face anymore. Remus laid a gentle kiss on Sirius lips and then without moving more then an inch from the newly moistened lips he replied.
"I love you too."
For the first time in his life Remus felt the wolf smile happily inside of him. In some way Remus knew it was telling him that he had made the right choice.
Author's note: I would like to dedicate this completed work to my muse and 'imaginary' friend Queen P. So much of my Remus came straight from you. His strength in hard times, his easy ways and above all his honesty are the traits I am in awe of everyday I spend with you. Thank you for years of friendship, tearful laughter and for listening to me when I came to you with yet another canon related question. I am devoted to you more then you shall ever know.
Thanks to everyone who read, and everyone who reviewed my story. I found this completely enjoyable (although difficult at times) and quite a good way to entertain myself until I can get my hand on the next instalment of JK's series. If anyone is interested I'm going to write a few shorter fics – a chapter or two – in the near future so keep your eyes peeled.
Also if you think this is good, bad or just ok, why not let me know. Or if you want to beta future stories this would be helpful also.
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