Setting: Modern day AU
Main Pairing: RivaMika
Other Pairings: JeanKasa (temporary), EreAni (established), EruHan (established)
A/N: FYI the JeanKasa romance in this story will be well written and well rounded, no half ass thing cuz I otp Rivamika that that's not how I work. I love all the chars so I give them all justice. But yes it is a temporary paring in this story.
A/N: This story I upload in Tumblr and Wattpad a long time ago. I'm updating my account with work I didn't pass over here.
Love and War
A Shingeki no Kyojin Fanfiction
Chapter 1: Mikasa's Secret
Divorce is a declaration of war. A war in which there is no victor, there is no loser. Only causalities. However, there is always a need to label the victim and the villain. There is a need to claim a victory over the defeated. Whether done in peace, done in chaos, a divorce is always solemn; ushering in like an executioner to carry on the sentence.
It is isn't bad, nor is it good...
Levi was sitting alone in his apartment late afternoon as he drank from a delicate china cup to counteract the urge to drink coffee.
He was tired from work in the ad firm and tired of Mikasa's absence. He had gotten into yet another massive argument with his wife of two years.
Why can't we agree on anything anymore? He thought.
What is happening?
Levi's mind drifted off into memories of peaceful snowy nights huddled naked under covers. Just idly talking, nothing but fingers and legs entangled, keeping warm; days where they do nothing but laze around, have sex, and spend hours in bed.
I've been busier since then, thought Levi, ever since my last promotion.
I know she's upset because of that. I know she's upset because I'm bent on getting a condo and have us live more downtown while she prefers us to move out in a house in a peaceful neighborhood.
However, I've told her years before that my intention was to live my life in the city—that my career was important to me. We are both ambitious—I don't understand why she has changed her mind about everything. She's worrying less about her job, and spending her money more carelessly. It bothers me how she's always sending money to Eren and Annie.
Levi savored the last bit of tea that sat at the bottom of his cup. A sound of the door closing could be heard in the background.
He set his cup down on the kitchen table as Mikasa swiftly entered the room. She was dressed simply, a light cotton elbow length pink blouse with casual slacks. A manila folder was tucked under her arm. Retrieving it, she dropped it on the table right in front of Levi, who looked at her with confused curiosity.
"What's this?" he asked.
"Open it," She said flatly.
Levi glanced at her once before he flipped the manila open. There, before him, was a copy of well written petition for a no-fault divorce.
"Jesus fuckin' Christ, Mikasa," Levi uttered in exasperated shock. He leafed through the following papers. Terms of the divorce, separation of goods, everything cleanly laid out. The last page required a signature. He dropped it, and then looked at her.
"Look, alright just please sit down, let's talk," Levi said slowly.
"I'd rather stand," She replied.
Levi sighed, "Mikasa, I don't want to argue. I don't want this. You disappear for a week, and yet you manage to come back looking more pissed then you were when you left. What is it? What do you want?"
"I want you."
Levi was caught off guard with that comment. But then Mikasa continued.
"You spend so much time at that job that all you need is to just move a bed and change your home address," Her eyebrows furrowed looking upset, "You're never home anymore, and when you are—you're too tired to do anything."
"Mikasa, what you do want me to do?" Levi began, "It's my job, you know how important it is to me."
Mikasa place her hands on the table; she stood on the opposite end and faced him fiercely, "More important than us? Our relationship? Because that's what it looks like. When was the last time we went out to have dinner? Or go out to a place together in general? It's been months and months. And when we do—it's always to those private parties you have at work, where I'm standing around like some fuckin trophy wife,"
Levi groaned, "Mikasa you know damn well that I don—,"
"But that's what it FEELS like!" She barked, "That's what it fuckin feels like! You talk, but actions tell a different story, and I'm getting tired of this!"
Levi's eyebrow twitched, "And YOU. You think you are a fuckin saint? Why are you just painting this shit like I'm the fuckin bad guy of this picture, huh?" Levi stood up at his end of the table, "You start an argument for every little shit. Every. Little. Shit. I've been waiting for you to come home so we can talk, but no. No. You just come and slap fuckin divorce papers on the fuckin table and start another fuckin. Fuck. FUCK." He ran his hands through his hair, "I don't want to do this. This whole arguing thing. I'm tried of this shit. I'm tired..." Levi closed the folder.
Mikasa stood there with her hands at her side. Her face was stiffened to this quiet grave look.
"I'm arguing because you are not listening to me," Mikasa began after a small silence, "You think that we will always be living like this? That it will always be the two of us? Everything you do is for your job, for some lifestyle you crave for! You think this stupid tea set is going to make you happy? Getting a condo, the Cadillac?"
Levi felt this flash of anger sweep through; he barely clenched it inside of him before it escaped, "Don't. Don't go there."
His mind flashed with vivid memory how he told her that he planned to one day live in luxury with her. That he wanted to be rich, and have that lifestyle he was deprived of, that all of struggle of his adolescence; how he was going to make it all worth it in the end. That he was going to do it for him. That he was going to do it for her. That he was going to spoil the fuck out of her, and how they were going to just fuck society and just do whatever the fuck they wanted because they had the money to do it.
It was like she forgot about it all. She was turning everything he was trying to do for them, for her—into some personal vanity act. Warping and turning it into something that wasn't.
"Well I am. Because that is my biggest problem," Mikasa replied, "I didn't mind it at first because I felt that you loved me, that you cared about our relationship over all these things, over career, over everything. Because I prioritize us over everything. I thought that we were on the same page with this. But we're not. I feel that I'm pulling the sleigh with this whole thing by myself."
"You're not! This shit is in your head!" Levi countered barely holding on to his composure, "I love you. Why the fuck would I marry you then? Tell you everything that I've told you about me?! I don't trust just anyone, talk to just anyone about the things I've told you!" Levi sighed heavily, "But you're right about one thing... we aren't on the same page."
Mikasa remained silent. Levi felt her steady gaze analyze him, like he was something strange that she failed to understand. It made his skin crawl in disgust. Those same dark eyes that once undressed him in thought, aroused him in feeling.
How did it come to this?
Why would it come down to this?
"Well," Mikasa began talking again slowly, "It's good that we are talking and that we are seeing the problem."
Levi said nothing. He was just starting to doubt if the woman standing on the other side of the table was his wife.
"If you care for this relationship, for us, then sacrifices need to be made."
"What? You want the house? Fine, I'll get us a house," Levi blurted bluntly, "What else?" He could see the discomfort in her eyes, the small twitch at the corner of her lips, for the way he was addressing her. But he didn't care.
"It's not just the house Levi," she continued, "It's that 'get rich' mentality that you have. You have to drop it. We don't need all that money, we don't need that life. It would be nice but what matters for me is us. Is family. It's always been that way for me."
That hit him like a bucketful of iced water to the face.
"We can do both," he said.
They remained standing on each end of that table. Two opponents. The manila folder laying before them as the center piece.
"Impossible. There can only be one. A person sacrifices one for the other. The example is already there. We are spending less time together because you have become a slave to your job, for the sake of your ambition," Mikasa pressed.
"I'll change my schedule, plan for a vacation for us,"
"You are incredibly stubborn."
"So are you."
Mikasa dragged out a sigh, "Why can't you just let it go, why are you always bent on doing things your way?"
"So you want it to be by your terms? Going by the way you feel is right for us to live? Oh please, you are one to talk. You have tunnel vision so severe that it's only topped by Yeager himself. It clearly shows that you two were raised together. Why does it have to be one or the other? If you asking me to compromise, I will. Because there is always a way without having to make black and white decisions."
Mikasa gritted her teeth, "All I hear is shit coming out of your mouth. We've been though this before. You make a little time, or whatever and then we're back to this, back to you working over forty hours a week. Having our life just wizz by without a decent time spent together. Without even taking a moment out of life to enjoy it. I don't want to live like this. Just work and work just to have moment of luxury in what, in 20, 30 years? We are young now! We need to enjoy the time we have now!"
Levi pulled his hand over his face, "God... Stop exaggerating this, it's not even going to take that long. With the way things are—,"
"I DON'T CARE!"
"You don't have to yell like some savage," Levi hissed with narrowed eyes.
He had the upper hand in arguments being the one who held his composure the best in spite of being enraged himself. He could see his wife rattling with fury from the inside. Exploding on the outside.
Dare he admit, he relished it. Being so pissed at her caused him to get off from her own discomposure.
"I CAN YELL AS LOUD AS FUCKING I WANT, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" she roared
"Go ahead then, wreck some furniture while you're at it." He hissed calmly with a wave of his hand.
She only saw mockery reflected in the grey irises. Mikasa knew she was falling for it but she couldn't stop herself as she pushed tall a glass cabinet filled with goblets and other dishes and sent it clattering to the floor. Shattered glass spread everywhere.
There was slitted cut on side of her forearm that dripped from blood as she caught her breath. Levi watched as it dripped to the immaculately clean wood floors. He held back his initial desire to ask about the wound. His own stubbornness and anger taking over all else.
"Are you done?" He asked sharply.
"Just sign the goddamn paper..." she growled.
He whipped out his pen with click and in a flourish added his signature on the final page in of the document.
"You're leaving everything with me? Not taking a single thing?" He muttered as he flipped the folder closed.
"You're going to stay with the only things you've ever truly cared about." She snarled as she snatched the folder off the table, "Have fun with your toys, because you're never going to see my face ever again."
Levi's anger peaked as he snapped, slamming a closed fist over the table, "Go ahead and get the FUCK out of my house! Don't even think for a second that I'll go after you!"
Mikasa smeared the blood on her arm all over the white wall.
"GET OUT!" he roared.
She exited without looking back, the door slamming behind her.
Mikasa sat in a car alone. One that was borrowed from Eren. She had driven down two blocks until she pulled up and parked in pharmacy parking lot to cry. She shuddered she she wept, the blood staining her jeans. The scattered restaurant napkins in the car were soaked in crimson flooded the side passenger seat and fell about the car mats. She dropped her forehead against the steering wheel and sobbed. The knot against her throat was tight lodged against her airway, she gasped in bouts between weeps.
"I..." she stuttered to herself, "I... I couldn't tell him...I couldn't..." her arms wrapped tightly against her womb. "... he's so stupid... I hate him.."
A/N: I'm sorry for ending it here. Yes I'm continuing this when I can. I've had this draft sitting in my docs since last year. (goD Dayum) I'm glad I'm able to post this.