Series spoilers for up to the Kaika episodes...whichever they are.
You all know who I am. I am the great god SEIRYUU. Yes. The all powerful god of battle. The one who nearly destroyed Suzaku's pathetic seishi. The only reason they WON is because chicken boy got lucky.
Luck had nothing to do with it and you know it!
GET OUT OF MY RANT CHICKEN BOY!
MAKE ME LIZARD BREATH!
*bunts Suzaku through the ceiling*
As I was saying...
Lizard breath! Lizard breath!
*chi blasts Suzaku through a wall and promptly gets trampled by a herd of Nyan-Nyan going to Suzaku's aid*
You think Nyan-Nyan are cute and helpful do you? They are nothing but pests! A plague of annoying, talking rats. I don't understand why everyone loves Suzaku...
'Cause I'm CUTE!
Shut up! If you had ANY idea what I have to put up with! He always breaks the rules and ALWAYS gets away with it. Just because Suzaku is the god of love Taiitsukun-sama goes easy on him. If she let me have my way I'd give him the love he really deserves.
~You know, that's not entirely true.~
Byakko! Get your furry face out of this! This is MY monologue!
~Well it's not. What about the time you saved Amiboshi from that river? Or allowing Nakago to use some of Tenkou's energy to get a boost? Or that time you 'borrowed' fifty gold ryu from that one mortal and left it for your twins to 'find'? Taiitsukun-sama let you get away with that didn't she?~
WELL WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION ANYWAY?! And Suzaku gets away with a LOT more.
~You two are so childish.~
Well SUZAKU started it.
~Get on with your monologue all ready.~
Where was I?
~Ranting over the injustices that are your immortal, eternally healthy, life.~
Don't think I don't know sarcasm when I see it. I'm not stupid Byakko.
Could have fooled me!
WILL YOU JUST GO AWAY?!
~Not this again. Heavens above. Suzaku either leave or shut up.~
But what about *my* monologue? I never get a monologe. How come Seiryuu gets one and I don't?
BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES YOU ALL READY YOU PEA BRAINED TWIT!
*Suzaku glomps Seiryuu's arm*
Aww, I didn't know you cared, Seri-kun.
You make me sick.
*shakes Suzaku off*
ANYWAY. As I was saying. Everyone thinks I'm evil. I'm not. I'm merely misunderstood.
~So you're not a pushy, ruthless, arrogant, childish prick?~
See, right there. That's what I mean. You never call SUZAKU that.
~That's because Suzaku's not a pushy, ruthless, arrogant, childish, prick. Suzaku's a naive, over emotional, sappy, twit.~
YEAH? WELL YOU'RE A MANGY UGLY STUPID TOOTHLESS HOUSECAT!
~TOOTHLESS? I'll SHOW you toothless!~
YOU SCRATCH MY ARMOUR AND I'LL CHI BLAST YOU SO HARD IT'LL MAKE TAIITSUKUN DIZZY!
~Do you want to back those words with action little geko?~
I WANT to do my monologue!
I thought Byakko was a sarcastic, insulting, lecherous pervert.
*At the same time*
SHUT UP SUZAKU!
O...okay. *snif snif*
Poor Suzakuseikun! We love you Suzaku! We love you!
I love you too Nyan-Nyan. *genki again*
Nyan-nyans *shudder* I despise them. Do you see how it is now? How can I help the way I am if I have to live with **them**? If Suzaku's not bouncing off the walls like an immortal rubber ball then Byakko's strutting around shedding everywhere. I won't even talk about Genbu.
"Good for you. I'm sure you'd like to keep all your scales in one piece."
Not you too! Can't you just let me do my monologue in peace?
"Well if you three hadn't woken me, I wouldn't have intruded."
~If we *didn't* wake you up then you'd sleep 'til the apocalypse.~
"Hmph. Well I'm going to take a nap before Seiryuu bursts a blood vessel."
Ha! Shows how much you know moron! I don't have blood.
"I was being metaphorical you idiot. Now don't bother me. I need my beauty sleep."
In that case maybe you *should* sleep until the apocalypse Genbu-kun!
*Genbu chi blasts Suzaku through the roof.*
~Have you ever noticed that Suzaku gets chi blasted more than anyone else?~
Well that's because he's annoying. Can I get back to what I was doing or are you all going to keep interrupting?
~Go on, go on. I want to hear what else you have to say. This is killing me.~
*muttered* I really *kill* you in a minute.
~What was that?~
Like I was saying.I am merely misunderstood. If I act this way it's because of the way I was brought up. Taiitsukun-sama never had any time for me.
*Hmph. I don't know what you're talking about Seiryuuseikun. Between Suzaku and you I had my hands full. Genbu had to practically fend for himself*
~All you have to do for Genbu is give him a fluffy pillow and let him have at it. It's as simple as raising a weed.~
"I'm sleeping! Not dead! I can still hear you!"
I'll never get this through with. Taiitsukun-sama why does this always happen to me? Why can't I ever say anything when I want to say it? Everyone ruins everything!
*All right boys, this is Seiryuu's time. Move out.*
~All right, I was getting bored anyway. He talks too much.~
I hardly said anything!
~Mm-hmm. I'm going to Sairou.~
Can I come with you Byakkie-kun? Huh? Canni, canni?
~Sure I guess...just leave the damned Nyan-nyan at home.~
Awwww...okay. Sorry Nyan-Nyan.
That's okay! We love you anyway!
'Cause you're cute!
Well that was thoroughly disgusting.
"You said it."
*After a minute*
Good. Finally I'm alone. Now I can talk freely.
DON'T CARE ANYWAY!
*stomp stomp stomp stomp SLAM!*
All standard disclaimers apply