The Best Friend
"The best man? Really?" Victoria's face is incredulous as she peers at me from over the cubicle divider.
"We've been best friends since birth, Vic." I sigh, passing my palm over my face. "It just makes sense, you know?"
"No," Victoria quips, bitch brow firmly in place. "It actually doesn't make any sense at all. Especially when you take into account your history together. I don't know how you two can go back to a seemingly platonic relationship after sharing six squirting orgasm filled months together. I would never be able to consider someone who fucked me that good a friend."
"Keep your voice down!" I laugh, standing up sharply to haul her scrawny ass into the nearby breakroom. "Jesus, I don't want the whole office knowing my business."
"Psh," Victoria guffaws. "Everyone around here already knows you're a freak. My loud ass just confirmed it for them. Watch – Newton's for sure going to be slipping you his number. I saw him checking out your ass the other day at the all-hands meeting."
"You're vile," I tell her, smirking. "But honestly, it was better for us that we ended things. It was… too intense. And I've never been the kind of person that subscribes to the whole monogamous relationship thing. It's just not really me – and it's so him, you know? I knew I'd eventually hurt him, so I put a stop to it before we got too deep."
"I'm not buying it." Victoria's eyes narrow as she stares intently into mine. "You have tells, missy. There's something you're leaving out... See! You keep tugging on your hair – that's one of your tells!"
"What!" I exclaim, belatedly dropping the piece of hair I was winding around my finger. "Listen, no, it's not like that. There's nothing else left to say." Except that you're so right and I'm so fucked.
"Hm," Victoria hums, crossing her arms over her chest. "Da Nile is not just a river in Egypt, my friend."
I roll my eyes at her attempted joke and sigh. "I'm not in denial, Vic. I know how I feel." Yeah, I know that I'm so very in love with him it hurts. "There's really nothing to tell. We both moved on and we're better friends for it."
"Okay," Victoria sighs. "You can keep denying your feelings all you want. All you're doing is hurting yourself. But just so you know, I think you should do something about it. He's known this chick for what? Six months? That's ridiculous."
"Eight." I correct, fighting back tears in order to maintain my façade of calm. "I know it's a little… fast but when you know, you know… you know?"
Victoria's face crumples in sadness. "Oh, honey…" She murmurs, reaching for me. "You're so strong. Come here." Her hands gently grasp my shoulders and pull me into her warm embrace. Sighing, I allow myself to hug her back.
"I'm okay," I tell her and myself. "I'll… I'll get over it."
"You need to be honest with yourself," she tells me, squeezing me harder into her embrace. "And him. He deserves to know how you feel. You deserve the chance to tell him how you feel."
Sighing deeply, I shake my head. "I-I don't know." I tell her, pulling away from her embrace slowly. "I normally am the kind of person that takes charge and takes what I want… but with this, I'm at a loss."
"Tell me," Victoria says gently. "I'm here for you, babe."
"Okay," I sigh, letting the façade drop. "Vic, I'm fucking miserable."
"That's a great start," Victoria says, grasping my hands encouragingly. "Let it all out, hon."
"You were right in your assumption – going from being in an intense relationship to platonic is impossible! After I ended things, we were weird for a bit. It was kind of hard to regain our footing as friends – I even thought we might end our friendship, too, for a while there. But then, things suddenly shifted back to the way they were before… well, for him at least."
"What do you mean?" Victoria probes, eyes shining with concern.
"He… um, just kind of moved on – I think. He started dating again, and we fell back into our old routine of meeting out for drinks and dinner and texting… and the innuendo-filled banter. He seemed completely fine with it all." At this admission, my hands find my hair and begin torturing a strand.
"And you?" Victoria asks, stopping the maddening twisting of my fingers. "How did you feel about it?"
"Confused." I sigh, letting my arms fall limply to my sides. "For my whole life, Edward's been my best friend. But… there's always been something there." At my hesitation, Victoria raises her eyebrows in a signal to continue. "This is going to sound bad," I warn her. She just shrugs and motions for me to continue. "Growing up, I always knew Edward was attractive – I mean look at him, he's gorgeous. But, I was never really attracted to him like that. That, however, wasn't the case for him. It was blatantly obvious that he was harboring a pretty big crush on me… and, as much as I hate to admit this, I liked it. I liked the attention he gave me. I liked how jealous he would get when I was dating someone else."
"Hon – that's nothing to be ashamed of," Victoria says reassuringly. "Everyone wants to feel loved. That's part of being human."
"No," I sigh, rubbing at my temples to try and ease the pounding that this conversation is causing. "That's not all, Vic. I used to give him just enough to keep him on the hook. I was a horrible friend. I wouldn't let him down, let him move on. I would flirt with him shamelessly and encourage his feelings when I had zero intention of reciprocating them."
"Jesus," Victoria laughs. "You were a teenager, babe. We all do stupid shit. There's no need to start beating yourself up over it now. It's done."
"I know," I sigh. "But looking back now, I feel like a total piece of shit for how I treated him. He didn't deserve that. I should have seen it… or realized how fucking perfect he is and – I don't know – done something about it. We wouldn't be having this fucking conversation right now if I had, that's for sure."
"But…" Victoria starts, stopping to chew her lip before continuing – a sure sign that she's about to say something she knows I won't like. "Two years ago. You had your chance to have him… and you ended things with him."
"Ugh!" I cry, forcefully rubbing at my eyes with the heels of my hands. "I know, I fucking blew it. I was – I am – so stupid. You know what? I don't fucking deserve him. I should just let him marry the bitch."
"You and I both know that she's not a bitch, babe." Victoria lightly scolds. "And you're not stupid… you're just very fond of… self-sabotaging."
"Right." I laugh bitterly. "We should get back. We've been in here for way too long."
"Okay," Victoria sighs, face still uncertain. "You going to be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine." I assure her, moving to head back into the main room.
"Wait!" She calls, grabbing my arm and stopping my retreat to my desk. "Tomorrow. Happy hour?"
I roll my eyes and nod. We do Friday happy hours together so often it's almost ritual. "Of course, Vic."
"Good," she smiles, releasing my arm. "We need time to plot."
"Plot?" I ask, the confusion I'm feeling surely showing in my face.
"Yes," Victoria says, eyebrows raised in challenge. "We've got a groom to steal."
Hi All! I'm glad you are all still with me (: I just wanted to address something I saw come up in the reviews. There seems to be some confusion about Ron. Ron is a nickname for Veronica. You'll see me refer to her as Ron, Ronnie and Ronald. They're all the same person! However, Ron and Edward's best friend are NOT the same person. Ron is just Edward's fiancee's sister (say that five times fast). I know, I know, this whole nameless main characters thing is a bit confusing. But isn't it fun?
What do you all think about the best friend's actions as a teen? Do you think she deserves a chance to tell Edward how she feels? As always, thanks for the love! Look out for chapter six on Monday.