A/N: Buffy the Vampire Slayer + nonbinary. Queer Slayer AU.
Gay For You
Wesley was in the middle of one of his long lectures. Buffy wasn't focusing—that was her side of the silent battle between them. Besides, Willow was drinking in every word; Buffy could ask for the short version later.
"…which is the whole reason why," his voice wound up for the big finish, "in every generation, a gay woman is born a Slayer, et cetera, et cetera." He eyed her and Willow's clasped hands. "Case in point."
"Wait." Buffy straightened. His glance made something click. "A gay woman?"
Wesley gave her a look like she was stupid.
"Yes, Buffy. You know this."
"But I'm not gay."
"You're not…" His eyes skipped to Willow and back again, shaking his head. "What did you think we meant every other time you've heard us say the Slayer is gay?"
"I thought it meant happy," she admitted.
He raised a condescending brow.
"I'm not gay gay," she protested, "so it can't mean that."
Wesley sighed. "You have the Slayer powers. You're gay, Buffy."
Blinking, she turned to Willow, who shrugged, hint of a smirk on her face.
"I guess this means I have to break up with you," Buffy said, pouting. "Sorry, love. It's my duty as the Slayer."
"I wish it didn't have to be this way," Willow said, downcast.
A gaping Wesley looked back and forth between them before bursting out, "What the hell are you on about?"
Buffy opened her mouth, but Willow beat her to it.
"Buffy is a trans man," they said stoically. "Hasn't come out yet. Until just now."
Buffy thought Wesley's impersonation of a gasping fish was strong—even his eyes bugged out.
"What? No. Not possible. The Slayer is…the Slayer is a woman. Always. You can't be. It wouldn't—it's just not possible…"
"Relax, I'm a freaking woman, you bigoted ass," Buffy growled, cutting him off. 'You can't be'—really? She'd teach him to decide what she could and couldn't be.
"Thank God." His relief would be comical if she didn't want to take his head off. "You are a woman."
"But I," Willow said, "am not."
"Hi, I'm Willow, nonbinary, they-them pronouns." Willow stuck out their hand. "Nice to meet you."
"It means," Buffy put in, "they are not a woman, and I am not gay."
"What?" Wesley shook himself, taking off his glasses to clean them on his shirt. "So if you're not gay…what are you, Buffy?"
Buffy glanced at her mate. Willow smiled. That open cheerfulness was precisely what made Buffy fall in love with them.
"Willowsexual?" Buffy guessed.
She wouldn't have been surprised if Wesley asked, like the tree? He was acting that dense.
"Okay," Wesley said, filing this in some way that made sense in his Wesley-fied inner world. "But Willow has a female body, so—"
Willow tried to pull Buffy back by the hand, but the Slayer ripped from their grasp and lunged at Wesley's throat. His shriek cut off when a stake pressed against a vein.
"Don't ever make those kinds of assumptions about them," she said. "Got it?"
Wesley swallowed, too scared to nod, while Buffy let her mate pull her away.
"Calm down, Buffy." Willow smoothed Buffy's hair—not that it needed it, but it was their nervous tic. "You have to be nice to ignorant people, or they never learn how the world works. We have to give him a chance to be smarter."
Hand over her mouth, Buffy turned away to hide her laughter. Willow sounded so kind ripping someone's ego to shreds.
The Watcher didn't say anything as the two walked out hand in hand. For once, he didn't call Buffy back or cry reminders at her. He was utter silence. It was nice.
"Sorry for ruining your gay image," Willow said, once they'd left the library behind.
"I'd go gay for you, Wil."
"What does that even mean?" they chuckled.
"I dunno." Buffy laughed. "What even is the word for this?"
"Skoliosexual," Willow said at once—trust them to know. "Neusexual. Diamoric."
"Wow. So I can take my pick?"
"Or poly, pan, or bi if you think you like more than just enbies," they went on. "There's also the general queer label, and some people use gay as a general label as well." Then they grinned. "But I liked Willowsexual."
Buffy hugged her mate close to her side.
"Then that's what I am," she told them. "Whatever label lets us be together—that's what I am."
A/N: I don't even know where I get my ideas. Basically I make everybody queer lol.