Inspired by the su-mafia-yandere-Lapidot-au-blog on Tumblr and their amazing story "Nobody Loves You The Way I do" on AO3! Seriously, look it up!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Steven Universe or any of its characters that are used in this Fanfiction. They belong to Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network respectively. Please support the official release!
How did it end up like this?
Hair disheveled, fingers twitching, and shoulders hunched, Peridot curled into a ball on her single bed in the darkness of her room. She had her alien printed blanket wrapped tightly around her like a cocoon; a barrier between her and the harsh, indescribably complicated world outside. It gave her some physical comfort, but did not help to ease the raging hurricane of thoughts swirling in her head.
It's got to be a joke.
Really, it had to be. There was no way any of what Peridot had heard was real. It was just some silly joke she was fussing unnecessarily about.
She seemed so serious though…
Peridot's day had started out very common. She ate breakfast with her mother, showered and dressed in her usual green hoodie, rode her little moped to school, met up with her friends, and went to class. It was the typical day of a junior in Beach City High, and Peridot was very content for it to be so. She was never a fan of unpredictability. She lived her life with certainty and accuracy. She knew what she wanted, and worked hard for it. Monotony was not something she would let get in her way.
Her friends helped with said monotony, their antics and lively discussions keeping her entertained enough to bear through the dullness of school life. They were the best people she could ever ask to have around. Her friends and fellow juniors Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, the freshman Steven, and her best friend, Lapis, who was a senior.
Lapis in particular had been particularly delightful. They had met in Peridot's freshman year, quickly becoming close after Peridot noticed Lapis' wonderful drawings and complimenting her on them. Lapis at first seemed a little hesitant to open up to Peridot, but thanks to Peridot's incessant and at times quirky nature, Lapis cracked. The two had been inseparable ever since.
The only problem was that none of her other friends seemed to like Lapis, other than Steven who liked everyone without fail. When Peridot had introduced Lapis to the group, they had been cordial and open to the idea of adding her into the fold, only to reject her a few days later. They all tried advising her to stay away from Lapis, much to Peridot's shock. When she tried questioning them as to why they thought Lapis wasn't a good person to be around, they all immediately went tight-lipped. To this day she couldn't get them to explain why they were so wary of her friend. Only that they disapproved of her relationship with her.
This, of course, did not stop Peridot from hanging out with Lapis as much as possible. As stated before, Peridot knew what she wanted and would not let it get away from her so easily, and she most definitely wanted to be Lapis' friend… if not a little more eventually…
Much to her groups' chagrin, Peridot and Lapis were practically glued at the hip. Peridot would always meet up with her friends at the school gates, and then find Lapis waiting for her at the main entrance. They only had two classes together throughout the day, but Lapis would always somehow find a way to meet Peridot just as the bell rang and walk her to her next class. They had lunch together, free period together, and would always be partners in any type of group project in their classes. They shared their hopes, dreams, and almost every thought in their heads. They would spend the night at each other's' house during the weekends and cuddle while watching TV or playing video games.
They were, by all intents and purposes, best friends.
Peridot would easily contribute most of her happiness to Lapis, and had hoped to one day maybe tell her as such. But as much as they shared together, Peridot kept that her little secret. She wasn't ready to confess her feelings to Lapis just yet, she'd told herself. One day she would, but she had needed time to prepare.
Little did she know she would never be prepared for what was to come.
As her day had carried on and she followed her usual routine, she noticed something odd about Lapis' behavior. When they met in the morning she seemed a bit clingier, letting their hug linger a little longer than usual. Peridot hadn't minded, but did indeed notice Lapis reluctance to let go. After first period passed Lapis seemed anxious for Peridot to come out of the classroom as she bounced from foot to foot. As they walked Lapis kept brushing their hands together, as if wanting to hold it, making Peridot blush. During their first class together Peridot could feel Lapis continuously staring at her, only turning away whenever Peridot glanced back at her.
It was a little overwhelming, and it had Peridot worried. Which was why when their shared free period came around she decided to confront Lapis about it.
What a mistake... she would think later, looking back on it while hiding under her blanket.
When Peridot questioned her best friend about her behavior, the answer had been unabashed and immediate.
"I think we should cut the bullshit, Peri," she had said, an odd look in her ocean blue eyes.
Peridot had been taken aback by this. "W-What do you mean?" she had questioned, nonplussed.
Lapis had taken Peridot's hand and cupped it tightly, pulling her closer. This had made Peridot blush.
"We've been skating around each other for two years now," Lapis explained, a wide smile spreading across her face. "I think it's time we stop this game of cat and mouse and just give in to our feelings, my sweet Peri-baby."
Peridot had stared, stunned into silence. Those words had not just come out of Lapis' mouth!
"I just can't help myself anymore," Lapis went on, reaching out to caress Peridot's already flushed cheek as she spoke, still holding Peridot's hand close to her chest. "Seeing your beautiful face every day… smelling your delicious scent… feeling your skin against mine… it drives me crazy. We're meant to be, and I'm tired of playing these silly games around the fact. It's about time we just… be together. You agree, right? Peridot?"
Peridot had finally been able to snap out of her shock-induced trance and, without even thinking about it, pulled away. She almost regretted it, for the look of shock and hurt on Lapis' face stung deep in her heart.
But the words Lapis had just spoken held enough force behind them to push her away.
"Lapis, what are you saying right now?" Peridot had silently gulped. "I-I don't understand what's happening right now…"
"Oh God…" Lapis had gasped, covering her mouth. A look of terror crossed her features, as if she were witnessing a murder. "Was I… did I read the signals wrong? You don't… you don't like me, do you?"
"N-No!" Peridot stammered. "I-I didn't say that I just-"
The look of terror had quickly evaporated at Peridot's words, joyful exuberance quickly taking its place as Lapis reached out and took Peridot's hand again.
"So you do love me!" Lapis had interrupted. "I knew it!"
"Wait, what?!" Peridot had sputtered. "L-L-Love?!"
"I love you too, my sweet Peri-baby," Lapis had nearly sung, a look of unmeasurable joy on her face, her smile so wide almost every tooth was showing in her mouth. "I've loved you since that first moment when you complimented my drawings. No one else ever said such nice things to me with such sincerity before. Your beautiful green eyes had captivated me so easily."
"I tried to fight it at first, tried to avoid you, hoping these feelings would go away… but the moment I gave in… it was nirvana being by your side. I just couldn't get enough of you! You were the sweetest drug, each and every moment we spent together just like the first high. It was never enough, I had to have more and more!"
"Please, just listen to me for a sec-"
"All those nights thinking of you, those sleepovers where I'd watch you sleep all night long; every moment of every day just looking at you… it was painful knowing you weren't mine yet. But I knew you weren't ready, I gave you the space you needed. I waited, but I just can't wait any longer! I can't stand not having you be mine, my darling."
Peridot had felt as if her ears were on literal fire. "L-Lapis!"
Lapis had finally seemed ready to listen, as she dialed back her smile to a more tender one as she leaned forward, intently staring into Peridot's eyes. "Yes, my love?"
"This…" Peridot had coughed, feeling as if someone had a hand clenched tightly around her throat. "This is too much! I-I don't know how to process this!"
Lapis had cooed softly as she ran her thumb over Peridot's knuckles. "It's okay, I know. It's so relieving to me as well, to finally get it all out there! Knowing we can finally be together… there is no greater joy!"
"This is all a joke," Peridot had finally surmised. "Y-You're messing with me!"
The frown on Lapis' face showed her dismay at these words. "What are you saying? I would never mess with you, my sweet Peri-"
"No!" Peridot had yanked her hands away, shame coursing through her. "This isn't funny!"
"Peridot-" Lapis had tried to speak, but she didn't give her the chance. She had quickly turned on her heel and ran in the opposite direction, not daring to look back at the horrified look on Lapis' face.
She hadn't even bothered to go to her locker to retrieve her books before running out of the school and speeding home on her moped to cry her eyes out in her bed. She had spent quite a few hours just lying there, shivering and sobbing, flitting in and out of a restless sleep until finally night came and she ended up right where she was: hair disheveled, fingers twitching, shoulders hunched, and curled into an emotionally compromised blanket cocoon on her bed.
Peridot had cried herself out at least an hour before, feeling like an empty pit that was once a lake; a replay of that conversation running constantly in her mind, each and every time making her feel more and more numb.
Why would Lapis do that to her? Even if she really didn't know beforehand that Peridot had feelings for her, that still was not right. It was just… mean! And Lapis had never once been mean like that to her before. Why so suddenly would she play such a cruel prank?
What if she hadn't been joking? What if…
"No way," Peridot whispered out loud to herself. "Those things she said… they couldn't be true."
Lapis being in love with her? Watching her sleep? Obsessing over her so intensely? Absolutely ridiculous! Peridot was not that special that someone like Lapis could be so fervently in love with her. It had to all be a joke. There just wasn't any way…
Peridot pulled her blanket tighter around her, letting the dark thoughts pull her further down the pit of despair. She closed her eyes and just let time pass her by, unaware of how much of it escaped her before a soft knock came at her door.
"Not now mom," Peridot called out hoarsely, knowing instantly who it was. Her mother must have gotten a call about her sudden absence from school and would most likely be worried about her. "I'm not feeling so good."
Despite her protest, her bedroom door opened slowly and she could hear her mother step into the room. Peridot had her back to the door, having preferred to face her window to stare out into the night sky while entrapped in her thoughts, but she could hear the footsteps of someone softly walking towards her bed.
"Mom, please," Peridot tried again, groaning. "I don't feel very well, so I just want to-"
"Is my Peri-baby sick?"
Peridot's blood ran cold at the sound of not her mother's voice but of, "Lapis?!"
Peridot shot straight up from her huddled position on her bed, eyes wide in horror and her mouth open wide in shock as, indeed, Lapis seated herself at the end of her bed, a look of concern in her blue eyes.
"My sweet darling," the blue haired girl gasped upon seeing Peridot's disheveled appearance. "Your eyes are bloodshot and puffy! Have you been crying?"
"H-How did you get into my house?" Peridot ignored her question with one of her own. "Where's my mother? Mom!"
"Hush," Lapis scooted closer to Peridot, unfazed by Peridot's cry for help. "Your mother isn't here right now. It's just the two of us."
Peridot felt her heart sink into her stomach. "W-Where is she?"
"Don't worry about that right now," Lapis waved her hand, dismissing the question. "We need to talk-"
"I am very worried!" Peridot screeched, cutting her off, panic coursing through her. "I am concerned, disconcerted, perturbed, synonyms!"
Lapis giggled loudly, covering her mouth to try and hold it in. "Oh my god! You are so cute when you freak out! You just start throwing out words I barely understand and it makes me smile!"
Peridot felt her face flush at this, suddenly realizing just how close Lapis had scooted towards her.
"Why are you doing this?" Peridot whispered, gripping her alien themed blanket tightly in her fists. "Why are you teasing me like this?"
"I am not teasing you," Lapis answered, her giggle fit ending. She leaned her face closer, to which Peridot responded by pulling back, pressing the back of her head against the wall. "Okay, maybe right now I am a little." She gave a sly grin for a moment, but then pulled it back into a tender expression. "I do have to ask you something, though, my love. Earlier, you said I was messing with you. I've been trying to figure out what you could possibly mean by that. Please, my angel, tell me what you meant."
"What do you mean 'what do I mean'?" Peridot exploded. "All of this… these sweet nicknames, calling me beautiful, telling me you… you love me… it's all obviously a joke! You're pranking me, and it's already gone too far!"
Lapis' tender expression shifted, taking Peridot aback at the sudden intensity on her face. Lapis slammed her hand against the wall next to Peridot's head abruptly, sending a jolt up and down her spine.
"You think I'm lying to you?" Lapis accused, a hard edge to her voice. "You think this is all a joke?"
Peridot suddenly didn't know what to say. Any and all confidence she had of this all being some sort of elaborate prank was dwindling quickly, and very acutely she was realizing the possibility of how dangerous Lapis could actually be.
"Y-Yes?" Peridot finally mustered the courage to answer weakly after a moment of being stared down.
"I love you!" Lapis asserted. "I have loved you since the moment we met! You are all I think of, all I could ever want and more! You are my Goddess in human form, and I worship you religiously, my dear, sweet, confused love. I have done everything I can to make you happy, to keep you close and safe! I tried to force those 'friends' of yours to stay away-"
"-but they refused to listen, and I wanted so, so badly to make them disappear… but I didn't because I could see they made you smile. And that's all I've ever wanted, for you to smile for me…" Peridot could hear Lapis' nails dragging down the wall next to her head, a sound that made her cringe. "I am in love with you, Peridot. Don't you ever doubt that."
Peridot felt like throwing up. This couldn't be real, couldn't be happening. This was a nightmare – a horrible, horrible nightmare.
Please wake up!
"If you aren't willing to say it back just yet, I understand," Lapis lamented softly, leaning forward to press her forehead against Peridot's. The blonde winced, wanting to pull away but trapped against the wall. She was forced to sit there as Lapis brought herself as close as possible, whispering sweet, yet deranged words into her ear. "I have been very patient, and as much as it pains me I will continue to be so, for you."
Peridot felt tears start to form at the corner of her eyes, gently falling down her cheeks in thick streaks. This was too much, too scary. She felt sick and dizzy and ready to faint. She couldn't handle much more of this.
"Sssh," Lapis hushed her once again. "It's okay, my love. I will let you rest for now, but I promise I will always be close by to keep you safe. We'll be together soon once you realize our inevitability."
Lapis closed those final few centimeters between them and kissed Peridot on the lips gently, eliciting a mousy whimper from the terrified young girl. When she pulled back, she held a look of pure euphoria, her tongue lashing out to savor the taste of Peridot on her lips.
"I love you, Peri-baby," Lapis said, finally pulling away. "You will see me again tomorrow, I promise. Oh, and don't tell anyone about this, okay? I don't want to have to hurt anyone… again."
And with that, Lapis left the room, a dreamy, crooked smile on her face as she closed the door behind her, never once letting her eyes stray from Peridot for even a second until the door was closed.
Peridot broke down then, her once empty lake now roaring with crashing waves as she spilled new, hot tears.