CHAPTER 1 – "Wait? Who the fuck even likes Tumblr anymore?"

"Okay, the URL was hard enough… Why do I put myself through this…" she muttered to herself, typing suckstolovered to be added to the wretched platform, tumblr-dot-com.

Marceline held her breath as she tried to customize the settings of the new space she has created for herself on the internet. It became quite a dilemma for her to choose whether to go for an aesthetic theme or to go with the silly minimalistic substandard ones that Tumblr had to offer. Resigning, she decides to go to a blog that was dedicated to making cool themes. When you play, you've got to hit hard or you go home, right?

Everything seemed to be going in some fancy order. Her about page was looking great, too… or, well, somehow giving enough information, yet not being overtly so?

Blog title: i don't wanna be your fool

Blog description: "and i don't only want to love you i want something that i can't replace."


I write stuff, but don't tell the next guy.

Feeling a bit content with the appearance of her new creation, she proceeded to follow some familiar people; that part is problematic enough as it goes but she thought that as long as nobody knew it was her, they wouldn't follow back.

She followed one blog which she knew would be totally into a run of the gossip mill in school – those ones by Lianne Spencer. What do you call them? Those "Secret Files" blogs? Whatever. She knew that Lianne would be too popular to even care about following back.

Soon enough, the night did pass on – she was following a bunch of blogs about animals, and all those blogs by millennials whose humor pretty much relied on self-deprecation and some sort of semi-ironic hatred towards life.

Thus, began her first post:

i might be a little teapot;

im not short but I SHOUT at literally any moment i can

TAGS: #how do you even do this tumblr thing? #well #life #just #this is me right now in #college

#is this how this works?

She suddenly she got a follower: bubblegumbites.

It was from that smart girl, Bonnibel. She didn't really pay notice of it, and just followed back. Maybe if she didn't mind— until the first reblog.

REBLOG FROM bubblegumbites

Once she came to inspect Bonnie's blog, though, she didn't quite understand what to feel – though she did roll her eyes at the thought that it could be as she appeared to be (prissy and prim), but no, it was a lot different than the image of her would have allowed. The political part of Bonnibel did show, though.

BLOG TITLE: "Blades are for skating – ya dingus"

DESCRIPTION: Bonnie B. | 19 | I'm probably made of candy

She posted a lot of angry bullcrap; she even added some commentary on things – like, dude, you'd see her be controlling a herd of people with one post. The scary part is, it's the believable and convincing "I did my research" sort of thing. At least she posted memes though. That's… always a plus. That's what Marceline assumed, at least.

There weren't any additional comments from her, but soon enough, she noticed that more and more people went on to reblogging that very first post. She was starting to think that maybe her life was meant to for this moment – for this one viral joke.

imalittleteapot started following suckstolovered

Well, that follower is close to expected.

pussy-loverxxx started following suckstolovered

Well, uh. Yikes. She already supposed that porn blogs did that; she assumed that much.

Several other blogs followed her. Over one post? Surprisingly, Tumblr seemed to have begun well for her. Relatively.

jakethestretchyyellowdo-g started following suckstolovered

Or not.

"What, wait, is this Jake?" Marceline cursed.

As she clicked on the URL (and as it loaded the page at a speed she wished at that moment ran a little more slowly). The blog was cute, so to say… but it didn't make her feel any better knowing that some of the more popular kids in school are following her and she has really no plans on ever talking to them. Ever.

URL: jakethestretchyyellowdo-g

BLOG TITLE: i partied with God once; he was chill

DESCRIPTION: jake / you gotta learn to chill / 19 y/o | Male

Suffice to say, he reblogged Marceline's post adding: same with a gif of some… uncomfortable looking Lego.

His blog was overrun with health tips, "swag," whiz kid quotes, and selfies of him and his girlfriend, Sae Na. Who apparently also has a Tumblr blog—

koreaisnotmadeofkimchi started following suckstolovered

"Fuck, fuck; fuckity fuck." Marceline muttered. "Speak of the devil." She decided to skip on snooping in on that one.

It should not have made as much of a big deal with Marceline. Really, it shouldn't. Well, it's not like these people make her college block life a living hell— Bonnie and her group, to be fair, did not really pay her any mind. Jake's crowd though, can be quite… unwanted.

knightinfurrybearcap started following suckstollovered

Marceline groaned as she saw Finn following her. Who else could be the goddamn knight in a furry bear cap? Jesus Christ, he called himself that when he was fawning over Bonnie; Marceline cringes to this day. Imagine him claiming that title when they were still in high school. Oh, Bonnie, I'll always be your knight. Blegh.

URL: knightinfurrybearcap

BLOG TITLE: Mathematical!

His blog was genuinely filled with happy things, and pretty girls… and Marceline was almost not surprised. Still surprising though, were some personal posts. Marceline didn't want to pry, so in respect seeing this, she followed him back.

Marceline, after exhausting all the energy she had in overthinking, decided to start posting some dumb memes, anyway. And overall, it wasn't that bad of a start to an anonymous blog. Heck, it might even be a little fun to watch them post about their drama. People still do that, right?


After being on Tumblr for quite some time, her eyes decided to droop a little bit. Before she could come close to snoozing, though, her phone pinged as she received an email from her dean. Perfect.

FROM: Linus Rae Lim

TO: Marceline Everett Abadeer

"Miss Abadeer,

Several exams of yours remain to be the top within your batch of students; why does it appear, though, that you refuse to acknowledge the potential that you have in performing well within the house of the academe? You refuse to perform well in any other avenue, thus expressing a subpar result.

Teachers have been left with questions of whether these results are valid, as you either rarely attend their classes or altogether show an extreme distaste towards the subjects of which they teach. Despite Sir Petrikov's appeal that you indeed excel without the aid of anything unacceptable, his power as the superintendent cannot always hold reign in the delivery of your results. This is college now; if you refuse to move through the crowd in this manner, the idea of giving your degree is close to dissipating from reality. We do not want to squander what opportunity you have.

Please greet your father for me; and, for the love of God, try to abide by a behavior that is more wholesome and, shall I say this: acceptable. Your father will be sent the results for the quarter before the end, as per his request. We do not want to fail him – and clearly, we know you don't want to, as well.


Mr. Linus Rae Lim, MACT, Ph.D.
Dean of the Department of Humanities
University of Scarborough"

Before Marceline could even think of a reply, she just snapped off the phone and took to ranting on Tumblr — ah, yes, the very reason for her starting this thing.

TITLE: a lane under subpar excellence

"I believe that performing well, so to say, is relative. By which, the narrative I'd like to denounce is the narrative of which I have to engage myself within a standardized education which I am offered on a daily.

It is quite embarrassing, really, as though I am supposedly a craft in the making, I like to dumb myself down to refute any form of expectations. Why? Because it is easy. And that is its own problem which I'd like to assess in a different time. Right now, though, I'd like to revel in the idea that I am better off than what my peers would assert me as.

Then, I'd like to begin a query on whether to submit, or bathe in the glory of this pride of what they might not necessarily be able to attain.

Oh, the life of the vapid can sometimes be something to relish in, isn't it?"

TAGS: #college life #i don't wanna be your fool #i am my own fool #university of scarborough #anonymity is key

Upon posting, she saw that Bonnibel had reblogged it…

Then came the first message she'd ever get on Tumblr.

bubblegumbites sent a message:

"I don't know much about your experience in my university (but I suppose we're from the same university, as your tags put it in there); but I guess I'd like to agree on some points. Though— really, where is the proper alternative that can derail standardized education? Like… you seem well thought out. I thought I'd just be seeing a new shitpost blog but… I guess this new blog might be worth more attention.

But hey, I hope to be friends— since you seem new here. Hopefully you're not a spam bot. I'm just bored, and it appears none of my friends are online.

Anyway. Hi, I'm Bonnie. What's your name?"

Oh boy… It definitely will be a ride for Marceline, won't it?


PSA/Author's Note: The blog is real. You can check it out ;)