I am...the Summoner. It is my duty to continue on my journey to defeat Veronica. (anyway, enjoy the silliness!)
After battling Bruno and defeating him, the Summoner and his forces took a break. Alfonse, on the other hand, started to interrogate Bruno.
"Bruno…are you Zacharias?"
"What….what makes you think that I am he?"
"You both wield blue weapons, and you keep talking about how you killed him. In fact, you act a lot like him…"
Bruno groaned. "Kill me…just kill me now." He grabbed Alfonse's sword in an vain attempt to kill himself.
Suddenly, a rock hit his head and knocked him out. The Summoner stood, with his pistol/legendary weapon pointed at Bruno.
"Nah, he's not gonna die before I get answers from him. Chrom! Tie him up and get him on a horse. Everyone! We're going back to the castle, to celebrate our victory!"
Chrom walked over. "Which room should I put him?"
The Summoner thought for a second. "Oh, get in one of the nicer rooms. Don't put him in the dungeon. If he doesn't answer me, I'll threaten to throw him in the dungeon. While he's unconscious, feel free to prank him, but just don't hurt him."
Chrom laughed. "With pleasure."
Half an hour later, they arrived at the castle. While walking down the hallway, the Summoner looked at Bruno.
Chrom and a few others were painting his face, putting a dirty sock in his mouth, flipping his robe inside out, and even giving him really bad acupuncture on his back.
The Summoner looked at them. They all ceased their giggling. When he turned his back, they all started to laugh again.
"Just like children…"
During dinner, it was…a bit chaotic. Besides eating, there was food fights, yelling, etc. Ike was fighting Marth.
Math yelled at him, "Giveth back my crown!"
Ike laughed. "What? You desire this tiara? Cometh and hope ye will receive it!"
Gordin, ever loyal to Marth, shot two arrows at Ike. In retaliation, Ike swung back. "Distant Counter!" He yelled, and swung his sword to hit….nothing.
"Ike, I'm on the other side of the table, ye cannot countereth it." He paused for a second. "I wonder why I lacketh the ability to shoot arrows point blank when some bastard attacketh me, while only Takumi can. I mean, physically, any fool could perform such a great deed!"
Ike thought for a second, then threw his sword at Gordin.
"OW! That was a mighty clever move! Now thou shall fall under the blade of the Falchion with no Ragnell to protect thou!"
Ike took a silver sword out. "This shall fulfill my need to surviveth this engaging battle."
The Summoner was rather pissed. "Why hath everyone grown a liking to be like bad Shakespearean actors…" A pie was flew into his face as Marth and Ike battled.
"Alright, would you two shutteth the f#$% up and stop thy quarrel? My my, even I hath fallen under this frightful spell…"
The two ignored him, and were knocked out by his stones from his pistol. "There now. Shall we all act as civilized people now? We needeth not set a bad example to the peasants."
He paused for a second. "Also, can we stop acting like horrible Shakespearean actors? Seriously, I'm also catching up with this stupid trend, and I'm not sure why. Just stop it, okay?"
After a few minutes, Anna called on a game. "I call for truth and dare!"
The heroes had no idea what the heck she was talking about, so as she explained it, The Summoner sat back in amusement.
"Alright! Tharja! Truth or dare?"
"Okay! Is it true that the only reason why you joined Chrom's army was because of Robin?"
A few people laughed. Tharja glared. "Why the hex did you ask that? And yes, it's true."
"Okay, your turn!"
"Corrin, truth or dare?"
"I dare you to replace Xander as his horse for the rest of the week!" Xander scratched his chin.
"Well, I guess that would alleviate my weakness to blue units." Corrin transformed into a dragon, and Xander immediately sat on her.
"Giddyup!" He kicked her, like how people do to horses. She proceeded to run around a jump out of the window, right into the moat.
"Oh no! I can't swim!"
Corrin came up with a soaked Xander. "Marth, truth or dare?"
"I dare you to prove you're the best Falchion user!" 1 second later, Marth had all 5 Falchions in his arms, while the other users were sprawled on the floor.
Masked Marth yelled, "Hey, I don't count! Mine is Parallel Falchion! In fact, I'm definitely the same person as you are! Why am I here?"
"Doesn't matter, it's still a Falchion."
"Sharena, truth or dare?"
Sharena thought for a second. "Dare."
"I dare you to walk on the castle floor without your boots for a minute!"
The problem was, the castle floor was freezing. Just try imagine what kind of pain Sharena went through.
"Damn, someone should get those heaters the Summoner mentioned! Oh right? Summoner, truth or dare?"
"I dare you to tell us your real name!"
The Summoner gulped. He started to speak. "My true name is-"
"Is it Goku-kun?"
"No. Are you serious? Why the heck would I put my fan fiction name as my real name?"
"Alright, my name is," he said as intense music played in the background.
Anna yelled, "Why do you only get the cool background music? Can I buy one of the devices that plays those?"
"That'll be all of your money, as there's only one of those in the real world!"
"ummm…man, I didn't expect you to understand economics."
"Whatever." He got his phone and turned the music.
"You all shall remember this name, and none of you shall let anyone else out here know who I really am. I am:"
Everyone held their breath.
For any of you pissed about the fact that I didn't do Kiran, it's because "Kiran" is too common. I kinda want to use a more non-common name in the game (which happens to be my name).