Chapter 3 - Trouble
Thursday – 2:57pm
"Laura, honey please talk to me, I know your upset but I can't help you if you won't talk to me. You haven't said a word since we got in the car. Laura please just talk say something. Anything."
Laura's head and gaze slowly shifted up towards her father's, then back down again.
"I-I think I have two new friends, but I don't know how to talk to either of them. Kirsch and his pranks! I couldn't understand the work in physics and I made a total idiot of myself in front of Danny. We have group project in English on journalism, I'm with Laf, Perry and Carmilla. But, I can't even talk to her, I had to keep passing notes to Perry if I had anything to add or idea's. I can't even mumble under my breath!" from started as a calm collected explanation became an unorganised rand of anger.
"Laura, sweetie slow down. Take me back to the beginning"
Laura's eyes were glazed with a clear liquid of her sadness.
Thursday – 8:43am
It was Thursday, the clouds were tucked behind the sun, and Laura's hope for a good day increased. Yesterday was Laura's weekly Wednesday therapy session with Dr. Williams, today it found a way to smear a smile across her face. Though Laura walked with her head down, you could tell she was happy. Even in her stride. Every step she took, Laura believed more and more that she had two new friends, that cared for her. The thought of it was still odd to Laura, only having Laf and Perry as friends since the 6th grade.
She arrived at homeroom exactly at 8:45am, as usual. Thoughts of ideal perfect, happiness began to swirl around Laura's head.
Since Carmilla Karnstein's first day, I've also learned she's in the same homeroom as me, Laf and Perry also sharing all classes with me except science. I'm set one for English, maths and science.
Second period I had physics. I sat next to Danny at the back, when she came past I waved my hand to signify a 'hello' accompanied by an awkward smile. However, I still couldn't make eye contact it just felt…wrong, unnatural. Class soon started and immediately given a pop quiz on reflection and refraction, having 23 questions including sub-questions in total. I didn't mind the topic but all the questions were…muddled…and I-I couldn't r-r-read them.
To a neurotypical it would look like this:
Define what the angle of refraction from diagram A
To me it looked like this:
Wenie Dath ahe tgnle rof eraiAtensi egdmiara
I didn't realise, until I heard Danny's voice that my breathing had become rather erratic.
"Hey, hey Laura it's me Danny. I'm not going to hurt you just-just do a copping strategy, ok"
She knew. Danny knew. Danny knew I had a way to calm myself down. So, I did. I started to count in two's.
"2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20"
My breathing slows.
"22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38, 40"
I reverted to my normal breathing pattern.
"There you go, see. All's you had to do was use your strategy"
"T-T-Thank you-u D-Danny-y"
"Don't mention it, as long as your fine."
Soon, break and third period past, with all my energy focused on Danny. How did she know I had a copping strategy, Danny knew I had my own ways around obstacles. But why would Danny know? Unless she searched up autism and learnt every scrap of information pulled from every website know to man's existence.
Or maybe she already knew? Or someone talked to her? Or maybe dad talked to Danny? Or maybe she checked my file in the offices? Or Danny already knew, and-and somehow, she always knew everything about me? And-and maybe Danny's been stalking me, documenting my life, my routine? But Danny wouldn't do that, would she? I don't even really know Danny.
Do I really know Danny?
Five minutes before the bell me, Laf and Perry left and made our way out of the mundane classroom to the corridor. I walked slower than this morning, which made it obvious to Perry I was contemplating something.
"You're thinking about something I can tell. What are you hiding Laura? Come on you can tell me and Laf"
"why would Danny know? Unless she searched up autism and learnt every scrap of information pulled from every website know to man's existence. Or maybe she already knew? Or someone talked to her? Or maybe dad talked to Danny? Or maybe she checked my file in the offices? Or Danny already knew, and-and somehow, she always knew everything about me? And-and maybe Danny's been stalking me, documenting my life, my routine? But Danny wouldn't do that, would she? I don't even really know Danny. Do I really know Danny? Do I?" At that moment every single thought broke from my mind, realising worry, panic and chaos into my world.
"Laura, Danny's not a stalker, don't worry. And she trust worthy I've talked to her before, she was really nice and friendly." Perry moved closer to me, I could see she wanted to place her arm around me but I wouldn't allow it.
"Yeah, I went around her house once, she's great with her little brother. He's like you, has autism"
"That's why Danny knows so much about it"
"She understands you Laura, isn't that awesome"
"I wouldn't go as far as awesome but yeah it's nice"
"Only you would say that Laura, anyway I lets get to English I heard a rumour that we're going to be starting a new group project"
"What on? Perry you got to tell me."
"No can do until we get to English, because I need something to get you there faster for the lost time"
"Fine, come on then"
Rushing, towards classroom 27 and my beloved seat at the back of the classroom with Perry, Laf and soon Carmilla. My thoughts often rotated towards Carmilla, I wondered why, though I was soon to figure out that it was the thought of having a friend. However, Laf made it quite prominent to imply that it was something else, that everyone understands but me. What Laf was implying made no logically sense.
I heard a knock on the dirty wooden desk below me, looking to the left I saw Carmilla slouching in her chair. I learned that she often did that, it mostly seems like she has a complete lack of posture or none. I tried to look at raven haired punk, but failed, again something knocking my confidence and happiness. As long as I have issues with boundaries, touch, speaking and eye contact, I think it might be almost likely to impossible odds for me ever talk to her. However, there is at least a 4.16666667% chance that I could talk to Carmilla it's just extremely unlikely that I ever will.
"Hey, Laura look I know you've already had a…well…urrr…."
I kept head down and wrote on a perfect original dim, yellow square post-it-note that's 6cm by 6cm, passing it over to her desk. The note read: 'Not a good day. I'm aware.'
"Yeah, that look I know you find it difficult to talk to me, I just want to let you know that you can talk to me if you ever need me. I'm a friend really, I want to help"
I just nod my head in responce, in doing so Carmilla got from her designated seat and placed the now purposeless post-it-note.
Soon, my teacher walked in, informing us that we were indeed starting a new project in journalism in groups of four. He told us, that groups had already been assigned. I didn't panic as I knew me Laf and Perry would be together. But, I soon began to panic when I heard the mention of Carmilla's name in our group.
I didn't know how I was going to Talk to the group if Carmilla was in it. So, I formulated a plan in my head, I would pass notes to Perry on my post-it-notes, if it was valid or needed idea or comment.
Ten minutes into the planning of our newspaper we were already having issues. Laf wouldn't stop fiddling with Carmilla's pencil case, causing said pencil case's contents to spill over the cold, mud tracked class room floor. This then caused a chain reaction of a very aggravated Carmilla to shout, pouring all attention our way.
The rest of the lesson passes much faster than anticipated, fortunately soon after Carmilla's shouting the rest of the class shrugged their shoulders and continued with their life's.
Walking, through the corridor to my locker with who other than Laf and Perry. Placing my books away to get my books for period 5, 6 and 7. Laf and Perry had to leave me early so Laf could ask for some advice on some chemistry homework.
Strolling, alone to lunch something felt off, I knew something had changed. The bin that was usually next to lockers had moved but were to was, my question. I turned the corner cautiously, carefully to avoid danger or trouble.
Still to my avail, there was nothing, which again puzzled me. How could there be nothing, I'm never wrong. Though it's rare that I'm wrong, and there's a 7.3041% chance that I'm wrong. But, I know I not.
I continue to walk further into the hallway, but I am now certain something's out of place. Then I realize what's wrong as Kirsch walks from around the corner, with a devil's grin upon his face.
His eye's are poised upon me, like I'm a prize at fun fair. Soon his reaches deep into his dark blue, jean pocket to pull out a clicker. I didn't understand the point of this, then he pointed up but it was too late.
Bright green liquid engulfed me and my books from head to toe, spine to cover.
I was screaming , on the icy floor, knee tucked to my chin rocking back and forth. I was surrounded by laughter, humiliation and embarrassment.
I saw a shadow push through the crowd of tormentor's, only to realize it was Carmilla soon followed by Danny telling everyone to-to "BACK OFF!" and "BEAT IT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ALL, LAUGHING AND SOMEONE, WHO'S SCARED? IS THIS WHAT'S FUNNY? BECAUSE IT'S NOT. IT'S SICK THAT YOUR LAUGHING AND SOMEONE ELSE'S PAIN, BUT YOU, YOU CAUSED IT, THAT MUST MAKE YOU THE SCUM OF THE EARTH BECAUSE IT IS DISTUSTING FOR ANYONE TO DO THAT!"
To admit Carmilla was the one shouting, whilst Danny got me to sit up and start counting.
Thursday – 3:17pm
"I didn't like today. Today wasn't a good day. Today hurt. Dad, will everyday hurt as much as that?"
"Laura, everyday, every week, every month is different but similar too each other. All's I can say is, to take it one day at a time, breath by breathe, step by step, thought by thought"
"So your saying you don't know the answer"
"Yes, but What I can tell you is to take life at your own pace, no one else's"
"So your saying, I shouldn't worry about what's gonna happen tomorrow"
"Yes, exactly that Laura."
"what about my routine I have to worry about that, because if it's out of place, nothing's right and the everything's a mess and-and-"
"No, your routine you can worry about all you like, but I'm saying don't worry about other evnt's everyday can have a different outcome"
"Ok, how about we get you cleaned up and into some pyjamas"
Thanks for reading, hope you guys liked it.
Sorry for the delay I've been busy will school and everything.
until next time