Authors Notes: I wrote Bill Nye a LONG time ago. I think I was around 10 or 11. Understandably, my writing was crap. Therefore, I am re-doing on the chapters to include grammar and spelling. If some of my chapters are crap, be patient and I will re do them. Also, if you feel like commenting anything bad about Bill Nye and not the story itself, fuck off.

Bill Nye The Science Guy

A Fan Fiction

Bill Nye sat back in his chair with his feet up on the table, drinking beer. Life was good (or would be until he ran out of beer). He had his own TV show, yet still managed to not be branded as one of the rotters of American children's minds. (Like those were bad.) He was respected by adults, although kids thought he was nerd. Then again,who CARED about what kids thought? He bossed all of them on his show while they did various experiments. To this day, they were little monsters to him for some reason. Oh well.

Bill realized he had to start shooting the digestion episode soon. He walked out of his office and put on his lab coat, but instead of going to the set he went up to a skeleton.

"Are you as bored as I am?" he asked. It wasn't even the theme song, so Bill had a little time to himself. Yuck. Every time he had to roll his head around and go, "Bill, Bill, Bill," in a deep voice he became dizzy.

One kid, a little African-American dude named Robert came up to Bill.

"NYE! How come I didn't get the vacation I wanted? I've been going for one year without a single raise, bonus, or vacation! All of us kids have! If we don't get it, we're going to strike!"

Bill rolled his eyes, this happened every day. Like he was going to have the chance of some snotty little brats meet him on his trip to Hawaii next week. Not to mention that he wasn't the producer! Well, he was, but they didn't have to know that. Albert Kookyham Alcatraz, or AKA, was the producer to them. They always assumed he never showed his face because he had such a dumb name. Not to mention that this was probably the only episode those immature brats didn't want to miss. It was filled with gross bodily functions, and they would no doubt find it quite amusing.

"Well then, you miss digestion and excretory systems," Bill chuckled.

"I don't even know what that is! It's probably really crappy."

The sound of a rim shot magically burst over the speakers.

"Plus those ghost will get you! They like to do that drum thing which means you've made a joke! THEY'LL HAUNT YOU FOREVER!!! OOOOOOH!!!" screamed Bill Nye. Actually, he 79% believed in those ghosts, but he wasn't telling anyone THAT. Robert stared at Bill's frothing mouth, and then rolled his eyes and gave a disgusted sigh.

"Yeah right! You know what Nye? I'm leaving. We all are!"

"JUST TRY! YOU'LL BE BACK! THEY ALL COME BACK!" screamed Bill to Roberts retreating form.

There was a rim shot again.

"Stop that!" Jeez, that wasn't even funny. As it turned out, within an hour all the children were picketing outside the laboratory. Well, this was odd. Usually they couldn't find any one who knew about the child labor laws to make pickets for them. Maybe he should apologize...naww. They'll be back soon enough.

To be continued . . .