As you may have noticed, we did not finish the story last night. BUT, we're here today!

Disclaimer: We might bake cookies today, but you won't get any.

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Off in the rocket-powered statue of Pastor Richards, Lady Van Castle snipped some hair from Katrino's head, and tossed it into a fire. In the fire, there was already the entire skeleton of the Headfull Horseguy (minus the magnificent skull of great skullitude).

"There. That will cure the Horseguy's male pattern baldness for another day," cackled Lady Van Castle. "Now, to call him to come and kill you!"

Nazbutt crept along behind some boxes, using his cigarettes to detect the laser traps that Lady Van Castle had left for him. He smiled when he came across a large mallet, and prepared to use the weapon on her.

"You sealed your own fate, Katrino," stated Lady Van Castle.

Nazbutt crept up behind her, raising his mallet. He cursed as his optic camo inconveniently shorted out.

The robot that had momentarily replaced Lady Van Castle due to a rip in the space-time continuum whipped around to face him, a manic grin on its face.

"BY HELPING YOU AND YOUR MASTER!" gonked the robot spastically, before its head fell off, and it returned to being Lady Van Castle.

Nazbutt nearly pissed himself, and dropped his mallet.

"It's too late for you, anyways," smiled Lady Van Castle. "I have telepathically summoned the Horseguy!"

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Ickyboo drove along as fast as he could in the Jeep he had found on his way to the statue. How he knew they would be at the statue, I have no clue, but why do you care?

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At the same time, Katrino was being forced to listen to Lady Van Castle.

"You want to know why I killed all those people?" grinned Lady Van Castle.

"No, not really," replied Katrino, taking a swig out of a huge bottle of tequila she had pulled out of...somewhere. [*Shudder*]

"Tough!" snapped Lady. "I want to tell you!"

Katrino rolled her eyes, and took deep gulps of liquor.

"Well, you see," started Lady Van Castle, "My family was forced to leave town and go live in the woods when I was just a little girl. The ignorant villagers, for some reason, had decided that we were satanic. I don't know why. Eating babies is no real fault."

"So...all those people you killed were the ones who drove you out?" slurred Katrino, getting into the story now.

"Uh...no. I just like killing people," said Lady Van Castle matter-of- factly.

"That's just fucking stupid," offered Nazbutt.

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Ickyboo pulled to a stop in front of the statue, and leapt out of his vehicle, and over a cliff he had failed to notice. He swore as he climbed back up and walked into the entrance to the statue.

He swore again, opened the door, and then walked inside.

The Horseguy creaked and groaned as he clambered off his lawn mower and up to the statue, just a few moments later.

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Lady Van Castle backed away, as Ickyboo was pointing his gun at her. Katrino and Nazbutt moved behind Ickyboo, and the three of them started to leave.

Suddenly, the Horseguy appeared in the doorway. In one frame, he wasn't there, and in the next, he was.

The trio turned, and ran up the stairs instead.

Lady Van Castle hastily hid the skeleton in her bodice, so the Horseguy would not attempt to steal it. She burned herself very badly.

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Ickyboo, Nazbutt, and Katrino crawled down into the nose of the statue, which had been built with an escape pod in each of the nostrils. The Horseguy loomed behind them, but they all managed to crawl inside one pod, since he was delayed by a malfunction in his mannequin.

Nazbutt slammed down the launch button, and the little green ball shot out of the nose with great ferocity, and collided with the ground at ninety miles an hour.

The force from this was so great that the statue toppled over backwards, and broke into many little pieces.

Our heroes stumbled out of the crumpled pod, and climbed into Ickyboo's Jeep.

As they left, both Lady van Castle and the Headfull Horseguy rose from the wreckage like zombies, and pursued them on the Headfull Horseguy's lawnmower.

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Nazbutt manned the machine gun mounted on the Jeep's turret, keeping the pair on the landscaping implement at bay. As they approached the Outhouse of Doom, the lawnmower smashed into the rear of the Jeep, causing the all- terrain vehicle to spin sideways and flip.

Ickyboo, Nazbutt, and Katrino were thrown from their mode of transport, and landed at the foot of the Outhouse.

The Horseguy and Lady Van Castle came to a stop, and hopped off the mower. Ickyboo charged at Lady Van Castle in an ill-advised attempt to beat her up, and she shot him with the pistol she had mysteriously come by.

Ickyboo collapsed, and Nazbutt ran to help him. Lady Van Castle grabbed the drunken Katrino by the hair, and called for the Horseguy to come and behead her. "Her" meaning Katrino.

However, Ickyboo's ugly coat turned out to be bullet proof, and he jumped to his feet. He rushed Lady again, and this time managed to actually tackle her. Katrino stumbled off, and the skeleton flew out of Lady Van Castle's bodice and onto the ground in front of her and Ickyboo.

The Horseguy did not see this; however, as he was engaged in catching Katrino in order to chop her head off.

Ickyboo and Lady Van Castle tugged at each other's long, girly hair to try to cause the other enough pain that they could go on and collect the skeleton. Nazbutt, disgusted with this, picked up the skeleton himself, and hucked it at the Horseguy.

The Horseguy immediately let Katrino go, ripped his own head off of the mannequin body, and dropped it on the skeleton. Instantly, muscles, flesh, and organs began growing in an unorganized mass around the pile of bones. The disfigured blob screamed and oozed across the ground, leaving a trail of blood. It paused for a moment when it passed Lady Van Castle, and then absorbed her.

It then crawled off into the gateway to hell, which shut itself immediately afterwards.

Ickyboo fainted.

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"Ah," said Ickyboo as the carriage stopped. "Here it is. Our new home."

He, Katrino, and Nazbutt stepped out of the carriage, cleverly avoided paying the driver, and walked up to the door of their beautiful new house.

"Oh, I know it's going to be just great," said Ickyboo, "Living here at 3822 Edmund Street!"

Their neighbor grinned at them, and wobbled back into his own house, which had many boarded up windows. Screams emanated from within.

"Yup," sighed Ickyboo contentedly. "We're going to love it here."

The End.

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Yay! We're finished!

If you want to be a beta reader for any future story of ours, just say so in your review. We apologize for the sporadic postings of chapters, and we will be finishing our stories before posting them in the future. So, for now, just go and read all our other stuff.

Or I kill you.