I don't own Trigun, although I wish I did. There's that big possibility for self entertainment alone with that.

Just thought of doing something somewhat original. This is a Trigun; Behind the scenes story. With this fic, I'm writing Trigun with all the liberties I want. SWEEEET!

This also means I'm expecting a review ratio of 2:3=flame me like Hell! Well, I'll take that with the same attitude that I usually do with things like that; I DON"T CARE!

This is one of those series that's going to be very random, chapter to chapter. Bear with me. Remember, the scenes are rehearsed out of order! (Ex. Episode 18 gets filmed after 24). Don't remind me.

Hey, there might be a plot to this, SOMEday.

I've kept the character's original first names to avoid confusion.

Warning: My one warning; Strong language and some content.

Well, glad that's over.

Trigun "Action!"

"That's a wrap!"

Legato Barrocas leaned against the folding table, relieved that the next episode was done filming. He was still in costume but without his coat. The secretaries passed him the script for the next episode, which was fifteen, and he started memorizing his lines. He had until tomorrow morning, so the sooner he knew his lines, the better.

"Hey Legato." a familiar voice said beside him. His eyes rose from the script. "Coffee?" asked Vash Rabren, offering him a steaming Styrofoam cup, "The machine gave me two by mistake."

"Lucky mistake." Legato said as he accepted the cup, "Arigato." He took a quick swig, "But what I really need is a huge bottle of the strongest vodka." Vash leaned against the table, sipping his coffee. He was dressed in jeans and a white, buttoned shirt, "If I have to fall down dead one more time, I'll start seeing my own death in my dreams."

"If Vash the Stampede gets so broken up over killing you once, imagine him after after killing you thirty- three times.

"There's no pleasing the director. She's a total-."

"Shhh, she'll hear you." Vash smirked, "You've seen what she did to Nicholas."

Legato chuckled, "Called her a collection-of-multiple-feces-not-worth-his-time, and the next thing he knew, he won't be able to have kids."

"How in hell did he keep his job, it's a mystery."

"I heard that." A voice purred.

Legato didn't even turn to the voice beside him, "Nicholas, what are you doing here?"

"Voice job." Nicholas Wongananda sashayed over. He was dressed in a tight black turtleneck, boot-cut jeans, and black square-framed, yellow lenses glasses.

"Didn't they give you the day off?" Vash asked, taking another drink of coffee, "They usually do that when you die."

Nicholas chuckled, "Our goddess of Tyranny thought I could use some rehearsing."

"It's only one friggin' line."

"I know. It was a pain in the ass. But after watching the rehearsals, it was worth it."

Vash and Legato both rose eyebrows.

"I watched you shoot him down, Vash. After the twelfth time, it got really funny. After the twenty-eighth time, it got downright sad."

"Bull." Legato tossed the empty cup into the distant garbage can. "You forgot your stash."

Nicholas chuckled,, "You're right; I did. But I wasn't going to leave you hanging either." Gracefully, he jumped onto the table and sat cross-legged behind Legato. "The usual?"

"Yeah."

Nicholas popped his knuckles and began rubbing Legato's shoulders, who groaned under Nicholas' skilled touch. "Aren't you ever going to say anything to the designers about your coat?" asked Vash. "It's killing your shoulders."

"He won't need to," said Nicholas, "Not while he has me." He added more pressure against Legato's shoulders, "Damn, what have you been doing? You have knotted ropes for muscle."

"You've seen me. I was falling downOUCH!"

"Sorry." Nicholas said.

Suddenly, a feminine voice called, "Hey Vash!" He turned and saw Meryl Starkand waving as she approached him. "Just wanted to say that you did a great job out there."

"Thank you. So did you."

"But you were better. Shooting the same man thirty-three times without cracking character? That was really impressive."

"Vash," Legato muttered, "At this rate, we'll become an urban legend."

"That reminds me. Vash," Nicholas said, sliding off the table, "Have you been on the Internet lately? Apparantly, a lot of people find Trigun interesting."

"Yeah, so?"

Nicholas smirked, "Have you ever checked the fanfiction?"

Vash didn't, but wouldn't say so. He knew about fanfiction, and Nicholas' smirk made him suspicious.

Meryl asked the question, "What about it?"

Nicholas, still talking to Vash, said, "It seems that many think you and I make an interesting couple."

"Really?" he said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, really." He strolled towards him, "So Vash the Stampede, what do you think of Nicholas D. Wolfwood? Screwable?"

"As water."

Nicholas faked a cringe, "That was harsh. Would you consider yourself screwable?"

"After I swallow glass."

Nicholas just chuckled as he turned away, "Mean kitty, not enough litter? Come on, babe. With legs like yours, you'd make one helluva uke."

"Uke?! Why am I the-." He shut himself up.

Nicholas spun around, "Caught your interest." He stepped forward, planted his hands on the table, surrounding him, and stared into his eyes while barely an inch from his face. "Come with me tonight, honey. Imagine us, holding each other tight. Sweaty skin on skin. Sweet raptures in the moonlight." Vash only glared. "Oh baby, I can see it. You want to hold me; you want to touch me; you want to kiss me; you want to move with me."

"Great Mr. Congeniality. Now get off!" He shoved him back, and he stumbled to the floor. Nicholas, quickly getting back on his feet, only laughed.

So did Meryl, who watched the whole scene. "How many fanfics did you read, Nick?"

"Too many." Vash muttered.

"Enough to get a few ideas." Nicholas teased.

Vash groaned. There are times you couldn't tell whether Nicholas was teasing or not.

"Relax, Vash. You know me." On that he spanked Meryl's butt, who in turn slapped his face.

Legato shook his head with a very faint chuckle.

Vash turned and grabbed his leather jacket. "I'm outta here. I've got a date in a few minutes."

"With who?" Legato asked.

"Merle."

"The Escaflowne cat?"

"Yeah."

Nicholas asked, "Isn't there a 'minor' problem?"

"And a bestiality problem?" Meryl asked.

"Nope, she's thirty- and human."

"Thirty?!" Meryl asked, "How?"

"Got me. She's just a good actress. Get her out of costume, then she looks thirty."

Nicholas snickered under his breath, "Get her out of costume? Really." and walked off.

Just as Vash turned to leave, Legato called to him, "Before you go, take this." He tossed a small plastic thing towards him. Vash caught it. When he saw what it was, he looked back at Legato with a raised eyebrow. The object was a packaged condom. "Cats are frisky."

"How do you know this?"

"Naria and Eriya. They love blue haired men."

Vash laughed, putting the item in his pocket as he left.

Meryl didn't see what the object was and turned to Legato with a questioning expression. Legato, with his usual blank expression that can be creepy at times, only shrugged, then turned to leave, "See you tomorrow."

Meryl casually waved.

To Be Continued

Glad the first part is over. I think it's terrible. I wrote this while traveling from Spring Break on an airplane. Never write while breathing recycled air (I guess). The rest of the series will be better, I swear.