Pivotal moment has arrived. Pardon my 'slower-than-God' update, no excuse. (^_^ At least my Fanart Gallery has significantly improved. Hope you like.) I'm glad to say that there are muuuultiple chapters written, just it's all in pieces.

Trigun "Action!" PT41

The day was gray. Clouds that threatened rain yet seemed so dry and empty hung from the sky. Studio B was empty when Millie first went. She couldn't find him anywhere, so she tried again early the next day. The halls were empty. It was formatted exactly like Studio A of Trigun, so she wasn't lost. The best place to start, she thought was to the main performance room. The quietly entered the large, sliding doorway. Her footsteps echoed throughout the large metal room. Cameras were everywhere. Sounding equipment and lights dangled from the ceiling draped everywhere with vines of wires. There were plenty of dark screens around the lights. Since Hellsing was a vampire anime, Millie concluded, many of the scenes had to have night effects. The set was a dark office, of one desk in front of windows upon lush carpet. The colors were dark and hard to decipher, she concluded it was, once again, for night effect.
A door quietly opened. Millie turned in time to see a light from outside shine into the hall, and then a shadow. Millie watched as the shadow turned to, none other, than Josephius. He turned to the wall corkboard of memos. On that, Millie kept still, nervous about what reaction she may receive. He slowly took his long coat off and draped it upon his arm. Millie sighed and slowly walked up to him, "Mr. Ravzkan?"
On that, he turned around. "Millie?" She gasped when she saw his face. The color of his eyes was blood red and his canine teeth were frighteningly longer. Josephius chuckled at her reaction, "Pardon these." He carefully hid his mouth, "Contacts and fake teeth. Put them on early to get used to them." He sounded rather muffled. Millie relaxed, feeling silly for her reaction. "The man at the interstate poll-booth had a more worse reaction. Are you looking for someone?"
"Um, yeah." Millie felt shy. She didn't truly believe anything could come from this: clear air yes, but nothing more. 'I'm sorry' never really works. "Mr. Ravzkan, I'm sorry about yesterday, I was-." She was cut by his chuckle.
At first, she was offended. Then, she saw his gentle expression. "Don't worry about it, Millie." His hand lowered. His teeth no longer appeared scary. "I understand. I imagine that it was rather embarrassing, and hot coffee is not pleasant to the touch." Millie couldn't help but faintly smile. "And I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. It just wasn't right for him to speak to you like that." On that, Millie felt her face begin to warm up, "What did I do to deserve that from you?" "Nothing, nor do you owe me." Millie silently hoped her reaction wasn't obvious. She felt like trembling. Who was this guy? He was too good to be true. "Is it all right if I walk you back to the Studio? It'll soon be time, is it not?" Millie smiled, "Yeah. Thanks." They walked out of the building side by side, "Millie, what is it like as Millie Thompson?" Millie casually looked up into the sky, "Looks like rain. Well, I was wondering what it was like as a vampire?" On that, she saw something on the roof, "Josephius? There's someone up there." He looked up with her. Nicholas looked up from his car, contemplating whether he needed an umbrella, and he saw something. He peered closely on the roof. Knives? What was Knives doing there? Nicholas stared, trying to guess. The roof was flat, usually wet in places, and not entirely safe. Why would anyone be up there? Knives was still as he gazed in the distance, but he was very close to the edge, much too close for Nicholas' liking. He went straight for the Fire Escape stairs.

Knives stood behind the brick edge, overlooking the city. Far away skyscrapers seemed near because of their dominating height. Even from the top of the building, he seemed small compared to everything. Thunder clapped in the distance.
Then, a door behind him slammed open. He didn't even turn. "Knives!" it was Nicholas' voice. He smiled. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"Nothing. Just standing here, looking around, and realized how insignificant I truly am." Nicholas stood before the door. "I don't stop and look around enough, you know. It's really lovely up here."
"Is it?" Nicholas slowly approached.
"Yeah." Thunder clapped once more.
"But it's not safe to stand up here in a thunderstorm." Nicholas said, hoping that the scene wasn't what it appeared to be.
"So do you want to go back down?" Nicholas didn't answer. On that Knives turned to his head. "Are you waiting for me?"
"Yes." Nicholas answered.
"You'll have a long wait if you think I'm going down with you." He turned back. His long coat billowed in the wind. What was Knives thinking? Nicholas wondered if what happened was enough to push him this far. If it was, it amazed him. "Knives, I know what you're going to do. You can't." Below, people began to gather. "What's he doing up there?" a woman asked. By then, Vash had arrived and had parked his Mustang in the slot. It boggled him why everyone was looking up, until he recognized the one on the roof. He ran over to where Millie, the only one present he knew, and Josephius. "Millie, what's going on?" "It looks like he's standing on the edge."

"Is he going to jump?" "I doubt that." Josephius answered, "People are whispering that he is." Vash's head shot back up, "Why?!" Josephius shrugged. Millie turned to Vash, "I thought I saw Nicholas run up there. Can you see him?" Vash peered, looking for the familiar head of dark hair, which might be all he could see from below. "No. But it looks like talk up there though." A car stopped. The driver opened his door and stepped to watch the scene above. The stereo was blasting.

Now tell me whatchya gonna do when there ain't nowhere to run

When judgment comes for you, when judgment comes for you

Now tell me whatchya gonna to do, when there ain't nowhere to hide

When judgment comes for you, cause its gonna come for you

"But you've done the same thing, haven't you?"
Nicholas was stunned for a moment, "That's different."
"I've heard that you got dumped twice in the same moment. Not much different from me." He barely turned his head, "Or were you dumped just once? Or was it none?"
Nicholas clenched his wrist.
Knives turned around but didn't move from his spot, "Has what I said pissed you off?"

Head south nigga this foe Wally Eazy sees Uncle Charlie

Lil Boo and God's got him and I'm gonna miss everybody

I done roll and blows my gauge look and he want to play

With Krayzie Dustin they play too deep for me ta say

Lil Layzie came to me told him the preacher deceased with him please

Bury me by my gram , my gram , me where, you get, come follow me

"Knock off the mind games."
"No mind games, I just wondered. I've been doing a lot of thinking this week, and you were one." Knives smiled at him, but happiness was not present. "It doesn't seem to mean much to you whether you live or die, doesn't it Nicholas? Nor does it seem to matter to you who you hurt?"

God bless you workin' on a plan to heaven

Follow the lord all 24/7 days

God is who we pray, even though the devil's all up in my face

But he's keeping me safe and in my place

"No! It does!"
"I suppose. It matters so much that you'd kill yourself over it?"
"It was a stupid mistake."
"Which one? The suicide, or the reason for it?" Nicholas glared. It sounded like Knives was mocking him. "You seem to do those 'mistakes' a lot, I know. Ever wondered why?" Thunder clapped.

Say praise to the gauge erased without a chance to face the judge

It's gonna get my sober buds, grudge , because there's no mercy for thugs

Ooh, what can I do, it's all about the family and how we roll

Can I get a witness, not enough fools, we living our lives to eternal our

soul , ey-o ey-o

Heeey , and we pray , and we pray , and we pray , and we pray

Everyday , everyday , everyday , everyday

And we pray , and we pray , and we pray , and we pray . Still we lazy

"So I screw up a lot, OK? What can I do about that?"
Knives began to chuckle, "I don't think that's it.. Lover." He did a small turn to the right, and began to walk along the brink edge like an unafraid child. "I think you have this sensitivity to people. You have this gift for knowing just what to do for someone, to make them feel better about themselves. That's why it hurts so badly when you, as you say, screw up." Nicholas nerves were on edge. Not only because Knives was so close to the edge, also because of what he was saying. He couldn't argue with it. "I think where the problem lies is that you don't know you even have this, much less what to do with it." Knives stopped, and then turned another direction and resumed his walk, "You could be the most wonderful lover anyone could ask for. Believe me, I know what you can do. But it seems you keep making the same mistakes over and over. Do you not learn? Are you even aware of your mistake?" He chuckled, "It be easy to say that you can't keep your pants on. You are a man after all." His calm face sighed in contemplation. "I told you about my family life. What's yours? I promise I won't tell."

Now follow me roll, stroll , whether it's hell or it's heaven

Come lets go take a visit to the people that's long gone they rest

Wally , he's there, Terry, boo, it's steady creepin up on me, family

Exactly , how many days we got lasting, while you laughing, we're passing

passing away

Nicholas folded his arms in defensive body language. He hated talking about this, but it kept Knives from jumping. "I was taken from my druggy parents when I was four. My families were always nothing more than temporary foster homes. They all loved me but no one wanted to adopt me." "I thought so." "What?"

We going to rest ya'll souls

Cause I know we might meet you up at that crossroads, ya'll know

That forever got love for them Bone Thugs baby

Little Eazy's long gone , really wish he could come home

But when it's time to die, gotta go bye-bye, all a thug could do was cry, cry

Knives stopped, and then turned to face him, "Could it be that you don't know how to stay? You long to, you act like you could, but you don't." He smiled, "It seems that we are alike in that way. Does either of us know what love is? How to show it? It's so easy to receive, but it's not so to give." His eyes closed. He appeared like the image of an angel deep in thought. "I now know what it means to love. I know what I've done wrong. You can be the same."

Why they kill my dog, yeah man, I miss my Uncle Charles ya'll

And he shoudn't be gone , in front of his home , what they did to Boo was wrong

Whoooo , who was wrong , who was wrong , gotta hold on, gotta stay strong , when the

day comes

Better believe, Bone, got a shoulder you can lean on, lean on

The clouds began to steadily darken. "What does that mean, Knives? Do you intend to change?" Knives chuckled. "That's right. I realize how far I am behind. So far, I'm not meant to exist." He raised his head, "What about you? Forget me for a moment, and tell me what you think?"

Heeey , and we pray , and we pray , and we pray , and we pray

Everyday , everyday , everyday , everyday

And we pray , and we pray , and we pray , and we pray

Everyday , everyday , everyday , everday

"Forget about you!?" Nicholas exclaimed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean! You're the one who's standing on the edge!" Knives chuckled, "And so are you, but you don't know it. You'd tried to kill yourself once. What's inside of you that you want to ignore? What's the hunger inside that you have yet to satisfy? What do you want, Nick? You serve so many, but you don't know yourself. I know it seems that all you do is take, but in reality, you serve."

See you at the crossroads , crossroads , crossroads (so you won't be lonely )

See you at the crossroads , crossroads , crossroads (so you won't be lonely )

See you at the crossroads , crossroads , crossroads (so you won't be lonely )

Knives began to step back, "Decide for yourself. I have made my decision." Knives closed his eyes, as if falling asleep, and then fell backwards.
Nicholas snapped. He ran over the edge, seeming like flying as reached over the edge. Knives was silent as he fell, coat billowing around him like the fluttering of useless wings. The air took around him like water. Nicholas reached out, and grasped his wrist.

And I'm gonna miss everybody, and I'm gonna miss everybody, (long gone,long gone )

And I'm gonna miss everybody, (long gone ) and I'm gonna miss everybody, (long gone)

And I'm gonna miss everybody, (long gone ) and I'm gonna miss everybody.

The people gathered close or away from Knives' potential landing below. Millie clung to Josephius, which she didn't realize she did until a moment too late. Vash just watched, as if unsure to react. People gasped, chattered, pointed, all waiting in pained suspense like watching a public horror movie.
Then, sirens sounded as blue and red lights darted down the streets. People darted from the streets as police cars stopped.

Livin in a hateful world , sendin me straight to heaven (That's how we roll )

Livin in a hateful world , sendin me straight to heaven (That's how we roll )

Livin in a hateful world , sendin me straight to heaven (That's how we roll )

And I'm askin the good lord , why, and inside he told me we live to die

Knives jerked from the sudden stop, forcing his breath to catch and his eyes to open. The roughness of his weight wrenched at Nicholas' shoulder.

Below, there was the faint breaking of glass as Knives' fallen glasses crashed upon the pavement. Knives gazed back at Nicholas. "If I can't, then you can't either!" Nicholas yelled at him.

What's up with that murder ya'll, see my little cousin was home

Somebody really wrong, anybody want to test us thug

And Ms. Sleazy set up Eazy to fall.

You know I be sendin that cousin and tellin me when he leave, murda come

again, again and again

Knives was loose in Nicholas' hold like a doll, like he was reluctant to Nicholas' help, but not enough to fight him. He gazed up at the man who strained to keep him from dying, watched him in blank thought. Nicholas' arms were bulging bands underneath tight cloth and skin. The collarbone was protruding and hallow. His teeth was grating. Then, Knives' wrist turned in a grasp upon Nicholas'. He swung forward and firmly planted his feet upon the wall. "I'm going to walk up while you pull. Ready?" "Are you?" Nicholas' couldn't think of any better idea, not while his shoulder screamed. "One-two-three!" His feet firmly shoved at the brick while Nicholas pulled back. He was up far enough for his other arm to grip at the ceiling edge.

Now tell me what ya gonna do

Can somebody anybody tell me why, heeey

Can somebody anbody tell me why, we die, we die (oh, so wrong )

I don't wanna die. Sooo wrong. Oh, so wrong, sooo wrong

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads (so you won't be lonely )

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads (so you won't be lonely )

Nicholas rolled back as he pulled Knives over the edge. Knives' heels pushed against the edge. In a way that was almost comical, they tumbled back together, Knives over Nicholas, both flat upon the surface they landed on, breathing heavy. As Knives slowly realized where he was, his hand that lied upon cloth and hard muscle of a chest slowly widened. His head was molded against Nicholas' neck. Nicholas was feeling it too. His arm was between them as the other's weight pressed in fitting against him. He carefully turned his head with a low whisper, "Are you all right, Knives?" In response, Knives rose up, gazing down at Nicholas.
The rain steadily poured upon them. They kept like that, staring at each other. Knives was in disbelief that Nicholas did what he did, and Nicholas was the same. They talked with each other silently about what all this meant. Knives eyes began to close, but in emotion rather than exhaustion. His short hair was half plastered and half spiked with rainwater. "You know what you want, Nick. Choose it. Make your choice and stand by it. You can do it, Nick, you can." Choice? Nick wondered, what choice? "I'm sorry, but it can't be me."
Nicholas was about to ask, but the door suddenly crashed open. Knives solemnly rose his head to charging police men, who roughly grabbed him by the shoulders of his coat and drawn him off Nicholas. Knives moved and stood up without a single attempt at a struggle. Nicholas attempted to sit up, but then fell back down with a cringe. His shoulder felt torn. Knives was led down the stairs in handcuffs. Nicholas watched him as he was questioned and his shoulder examined.

That night, in a fogged state of exhaustion that wasn't apparent, the moment that Nicholas walked through the doors, he crept towards the back of the room.
The restaurant was highly ornate. The floor was black marble, veined in white that matched the patterned tiling. The walls were a dark gray wood with off-white pilasters. Chandeliers of silver dangled from above. But most of the light came from the silver three-stick candelabras. Nicholas dosed his candles to one; he didn't want to be seen. The crowd was high-society. Ladies wore black dresses and men in tuxedos. Nicholas attempted to blend in by wearing a black, silk button-up that had the first two buttons open to reveal a silver chain; black pants with a silver-buckle belt, and black leather shoes. He even shaved, leaving only hair upon his chin in a faint goatee. Although his arm was what ruined his attempt at being inconspicuous, for it hung folded in a sling. The shoulder joint was strained, he was told, nothing of terrible concern.
Nicholas wasn't completely sure what the event was. Some charity for some cause, he guessed. He didn't take the time to figure that out, especially since it was an invitation only affair. It wasn't difficult to sneak in. As he casually strolled, he noticed a brown haired woman, in a small black dress decorated with a pin of a jeweled phoenix at the right mid shoulder, hair up in a twist, and strands of gold that led the eye down to a protruding cleavage, notice him. She was staring at him in study and enjoyed every bit she saw. She did so while holding to an arm of another man, who didn't seem to notice. Normally, Nicholas would have been tempted to return the attention, but the reason why he was here was too important. He ignored her.
He grabbed a wrought iron cushioned chair and slid to his table. The butler-uniformed man with a tray that held glasses of champagne stopped at his table. Nicholas took one. He leaned back in his chair, watching the stage that was at the far side of the room. Music stands and chairs were being set up. A drum set was towards the back.
The lights began to dim, but the crowd only temporarily quieted. Nicholas sat up in his seat, placing the champagne glass down. The musicians came out in a line and sat down one at a time. Nicholas only paid attention to the saxophone player towards the middle by the bass guitar.
Nicholas was now mesmerized. He was one of the few that were; the music was nothing more than background to the crowd. Nicholas watched as Midvalley's fingers danced skillfully upon the pads of his saxophone. He stared at his mouth moving upon the reed. His eyes were closed in concentration, curtained behind locks of dark hair like they were a secret. Nicholas remembered those eyes. Why does Midvalley try so hard to hide his lovely face? Nicholas listened to the music Midvalley played, and it charmed his soul like a snake in a basket of flesh.
Nicholas could despise himself for being like this. He felt drawn to Midvalley, but not in a way he knew. Not in the way as in he wanted to, but like he needed to. Nicholas wanted to run from this; keep devoid like he always did. Even if he felt like he needed to, he couldn't go anywhere near Midvalley. It was too late.
The band played the next number.
It was then that he knew what he needed. He traveled too long. It was time to stop, time to rest. He found where he needed to be, and it was before him. Midvalley, Tenziano was where he needed to be. Was this what Knives meant? The revelation was shaking. He took another swing of champagne to keep himself from being obvious. His body was steady, but he felt like trembling. He seemed composed, but he felt like falling on his knees in a bow.
But could he be close to him? Could he ever? He had trashed what was there before. Was it possible to bring it back? Nicholas remembered the look upon Midvalley's face when they first told each other how they felt. He wished to see that look upon his face forever.
The band played the next number.
He'll try something tomorrow. But right now, sweet music was soothing him.
He needed a little more time to think about this.
"What are you doing here!" Nicholas spun around, and glaring down at him was an angry Meryl. "Don't even think of making any moves!"
Nicholas glared, "Listen you judgmental bitch. I'm not going to make any moves. I just want to listen to some music."
"It's called a radio."
"I still reserve the right to go anywhere I want, Meryl."
"Except here." She answered, "Get out of here."
"I'm not going to do anything."
"Like Hell you will."
"I won't, who do you think I am!"
"A sleazy--." She was interrupted by the sound of applause. To save appearances, they both turned and gave a quick clap and then turned back.
Before she could continue, he spoke, "Fine! I'll go!" He shot up from the chair, "But not because you said so." He didn't want to fight. If their argument got any worse, Midvalley would notice. That, above all, he didn't want.

Nicholas went out the front door, where people were still coming and going. He wanted to stay the whole evening, but he had clearly overstayed his welcome. He straightened his coat against the cold and headed to the parking lot.
Since it was still in the middle of the event, the place was empty of people but full of vehicles. Nicholas dug in his pocket for his keys. Then, in a soft echo that halted him like it was thunder, "Nick."
Nicholas didn't have to turn around, not that he could. "What are you doing here, Nick?"
"I've heard that great music was being performed here." He slowly turned to him. Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed defiantly was Midvalley. His dark eyes were piercing.
"Oh." He said sarcastically, "So this wasn't a plan to take advantage of me again?"
Nicholas sighed as he stood before him, "It wasn't." It made his heart beat to see him. "Tenziano-" "Go ahead and kiss me if you want, but don't expect me to kiss back." Midvalley said curtly.
That hurt. Nicholas was left speechless. He sighed and turned away, tightened his coat around this slung arm, "What do you want from me, Tenziano?"
"You have nothing I could want. Even if you did, no because all you do is offer."
That hurt even more. "Tenziano, if-." He had to think about his words, being careful not to be vulnerable before an angry man. "Did you come out to see me?" "Wanted to make sure I was safe." Midvalley answered coldly, maintaining the glare.
On that one, Nicholas turned away. It was what he dreaded, his heart ripped out of his chest. "What do you want from me?" Nicholas muttered, "To drive off a bridge or something?" Midvalley was silent. "Tenziano," Nicholas muttered, "You sounded great in there."
"You are so strong up there. You're your own man up there. I just wish you could open your eyes to your glory."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You still hide." Nicholas answered. "You're so beautiful. Why won't you show it?"
"Well excuse me for not being promiscuous."
"I'm not asking you to. Why can't you just be confident?"
"What are you getting at, Nicholas? Is this another plan to influence me?"
Nicholas sighed, "I guess I've lost the right to have you trust me."
"You guess?" Midvalley asked sarcastically.
Nicholas sighed, "Midvalley, you're not doing this because you're trying to hide, aren't you? It's not like the whole world is against you or anything."
"Nicholas, you humiliated me."
"So you were humiliated, it's not the end of the world."
"Don't mock me with trite compassion."
"I wasn't mocking you."
"It's easy for you to be so calm. It's not like someone like you can feel any shame. I doubt that you can feel anything at all, save lust." "Midvalley," "And if you think you can use sweet words to persuade me, like you did last time, you're wrong." "Midvalley," Nicholas repeated, coldly, "I'm not going to try to win you back, so stop being so defensive." It all hurt deeply, and it began to fuel his anger, "You have nothing to worry about. I know what you want. Why don't you go and take your pick in that crowd. All those girls want you. Hell, half the guys want you too, after seeing your lips handle that reed. Just ignore this asshole right here, if it makes you feel better. Go ahead and take your pick. Go get drunk, get a girl, and fuck her all night long! Now you know how! She'll make you crazy, and you'll make her scream worse than a banshee! I'm not here anymore, think of it like that! I'm never here! So see you later! Go have yourself some fun!" He turned and stomped away, and Midvalley never flinched.
Nicholas climbed into his car, into the driver's seat, and was sealed inside. But he didn't start the car, hasn't come to mind yet. Midvalley's cold voice, his face, Nicholas couldn't make sense of what was happening inside. "Just lust." He muttered. "Just some intense lust. That's all I can have with him." He turned the key, grabbed the wheel, and then froze. "What was I ever thinking. Its just lust." He repeated, his voice weaker this time. He paused, and then slammed his fist against the wheel, "DAMMIT! DAMMIT TENZIANO!" Then, trembling, he buried his face upon his folding arm, "Stop making me cry."
Midvalley walked into the dark back stage. The cold was like a cloak around his shoulders, and he wished he could brush it off like one.
It took him so much to not look back. Why did Nicholas come? He wished that he would never see his face again, "I hate you." Yet, somehow, his heart still bled. It ached within him like a sickness.
Midvalley looked through the curtains and saw Meryl standing in the crowds. She came to see him. Midvalley faintly smiled.
Then it became clear. Meryl was always there. Meryl would never break his heart, would never deceive him, never had and never will. Midvalley decided; he was going to do away with all that Nicholas has done and forget everything. He was going to Meryl where he belongs.
"Excuse me?" a young female voice said in a gentle, honeyed tone. Midvalley turned from the curtain to find a young, brown-haired woman in a low-cut black dress standing behind him. "Are you Tenziano Harrowitz?"
"My name is Alexia Lennox, head of the Recording Department for Hellsing. I have heard that you are the second assistant for Musical Direction for Trigun." The diamonds and rubies set in the phoenix pin she wore glittered in the stage lights.
"Yes, I am."
She smiled. "You're work is wonderful, absolutely masterful." She stepped closer. "Most of my-employees-are novices. I was hoping that you may accept my offer of the position of first Assistant of Musical Direction for Hellsing as well."
The offer did interest Midvalley, but it sounded questionable, "But Trigun and Hellsing are run by different companies. Isn't working those two jobs simultaneously unethical?"
"Not so." She answered with a smile. "Only if there's a cause of conflict. You will be allowed to make your own schedule so it won't interfere with your current job, and you will not be questioned about your work with Trigun at all." She smiled, "May you at least hear me out? I promise that you will find this most beneficial. Please?"
She was innocent to the point of flirting, Midvalley thought. But the offer did sound interesting. He had heard that Hellsing had a jazzy soundtrack, a format he enjoyed working with. And how often does an offer of a well-paying job jump into one's hands? "Tell me more, Ms. Lennox."
Alexia smiled in delight as she placed a guiding hand on his arm. "Come with me Mr. Harrowitz, and I'll explain everything to you." She innocently winked at him, "Call me Alexia."

Legato sat up in bed, leaning his folded his arms upon sheet-covered, crossed legs. He gazed out the pulled-back curtain window, which looked out into the clear night. The snow sparkled on the ground. It was beginning to melt, but one couldn't tell now.
Legato was surrounded in darkness, even the lights in the hall were dimmed. It was late in the night, but Legato couldn't sleep. So much was on his mind. Vash wanted to stay the night with him, but Legato insisted that he should stay at home. Of course it wasn't that Legato didn't want him here, but it would be more difficult on Vash to go back to work on time from here. There was so much on him already.
All Legato could think about was Vash. Everything that had happened made him think about things that had never occurred to him before.
It was unbelievable, Legato thought, that anyone could see him beyond a sex object. He had good looks and that's all anyone is really looking for. For all his life, he was aware of that. Legato looked good, and he's chivalrous, and that's all people want from him. Dominique was no different than what he knew. Vash was beyond anything he had ever known. If he was told two years ago that the love he had with Vash was possible, he would have cynically scoffed.
Then, Legato grew ashamed. Dating was common, relationships were rare, and a meaningful one was nonexistent. Legato believed that no one could truly want to know him; there's nothing beautiful inside like outside. To Legato, that's all what Love was about, and Legato took it. Yet, Vash wanted to know him.
"There must be something here that I don't see. Vash always calls me beautiful, in genuine confession, not syrupy words. How could Vash love me? I don't understand it. What did I do to deserve it? He's the one to deserve it. I should be the last one he could want." It'll never fully make sense, but strangely, that didn't matter. Vash loved him, enough to die for him. Legato sighed with a love-struck smile as he looked out of the window. Vash was about to make this decision. If he's about to tell his mother he's with a man, that will make it official. He's either bisexual or gay. Something told Legato that Vash would prefer the before, but couldn't escape the later. He wondered what that meant. Legato sighed and wondered, "Am I gay?" He was never with a man before. Before Vash, he never thought about it, was always disgusted by it, even afraid of it, for he remembered what it felt like with Mikago. How could anyone want this way, he had long thought, when it hurts so much? Yet with Vash, it was all ecstasy. Even the most wonderful woman was nothing compared to Vash. And he doesn't want it any other way.
So, he was gay. Legato straightened up and closed his eyes and muttered, "I'm gay." He sighed, and said louder, "I'm gay." He began to smile, "I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay." and he fell upon the bed in glee. Everything he ever wanted and needed he found within one man. Who would have thought that something so wrong could feel so right? Not just right, natural. He had never felt this convicted ever since he first decided to change and make something of his life.
But what about Vash? It all felt good to Legato, but what about Vash? Could he be feeling the same way? Or not? That was the last fear Legato had left, that they wouldn't last forever. Then, Legato smiled again, remembering what Vash did. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember what happened. The concrete was ice against his back. His body felt like deflating. Vash was over him, protecting him from the falling snow. Blood was flowing down his arm. Their blood mixing together upon the snow; the intimacy of that image was arousing.
He could almost remember Vash fainting over him. Legato was nearly gone himself. He remembered seeing Vash slowly collapse but still strong over him. His arms quaking and eyes closing. His blood was pouring, the snow was heavy and cold, and Legato was so amazed. Vash was so strong. Legato smiled to himself; he felt feminine, swooned by the strength of another man. It made him want Vash to use that strength upon himself. He didn't think that Vash would remember slowly falling upon his elbows, their bodies a breath apart, and would have collapsed upon him in, to Legato, a tender cover. But the paramedics caught him in time. Legato kept himself awake the entire time, ignoring the pain beckoning him. He wished he could take Vash into his arms and protect him too.
Legato wished that Vash was here so he could tell him. Legato felt reborn, made pure again. He felt complete and at peace. All because of the love that had graced him, "Vash, love of my life."
He couldn't wait until he could leave the hospital. He wanted out and live life again; the fresh new life that's been given to him. In his soul as well as body, he had been dead for too long.

To Be Continued

"Crossroads" by Bone Thugs n Harmony Unofficial (for now) Song for Trigun "Action!" from reader Broken Spirit: "Wondering" by Good Charlotte. (I'm putting together a soundtrack for this fic. Now, if only I could afford the website.)