EDIT : JUST REVISED this chapterrr :DD With the help of my Senpai, anyway, the story is now on watpad check it out pls :) makes my day.
Kazuma would have been completely content sleeping on a pile of hay if he didn't have to wake up to some useless, debt collecting water goddess every morning. It has been months since he had accepted his journey into this fantasy world, and he had never regretted something as much as bringing this useless goddess with him.
"Kazuma~~, Kazuma~" Aqua said with a pout on her face pulling his arm repeatedly.
"What is it?" Kazuma said, fixing his hair from the hay while mentally preparing himself for what Aqua is about to say. Yeah thats right, he has to prepare himself for what stupid thing she would say.
"Why does someone as beautiful as me, have to sleep with a NEET in a stable," Aqua said while flaunting her hair and teasing Kazuma at the same time.
He was spot on, he knew the goddess long enough to know when she would say stupid things.
"Were in a stable because a certain someone keeps earning debt at the guild and destroying my savings," Aqua crosses her arms and puffs her cheeks.
"Hmph it's not my fault you don't make enough money with our quests."
"Its kind of hard to make money with a useless goddess who gets eaten by toa-"
"God's Blow!" A mad Aqua sends Kazuma flying to the wall, making a loud noise.
"Dont remind me about that! My followers would leave me if they found out I lost to a toad!"
The annoyed landlord next door bangs on the wall. "Oi you guys, quiet down!"
"Sorry! Sorry! We're Sorry!" They said in synchrony.
The duo head to the guild to meet up with Megumin and Darkness to accept a quest, Megumin has get usual getup with her hat, trusty staff and eye patch and Darkness with her full plate armor, nothing too out of the ordinary.
The party starts staring at the bulletin board finding a quest to do for the day.
"Kazuma! Kazuma!" The loli wizard says while pulling Kazuma's shirt.
"Yes, I'm Kazuma," she says while looking for quests at the bulletin board.
"Let's take this one!" Megumin says as she shoves the paper in Kazuma's face.
Kazuma looks to read the quest. "It's the season for snow sprites again! Kill 25 snow sprites. Prize: 500,000 Eris."
"No," Kazuma said immediately after reading the word. "Snow sprites."
"Ehhh? Why not! I can blow them all up with my explosion again!" Megumin grinning as she said the word explosion.
Its been a while since Kazuma died to the snow freak, apparently what his party members failed to tell him was that killing snow sprites angered a snow samurai that would chop your head off. He had died once already, this would not be his second.
"Kazuma! Kazuma!" Called the water goddess while pulling his shirt from his other arm.
"Yes, I'm Kazuma."
"How about this one?" Aqua says, shoving the current paper in his face and replacing it with this one.
"Melzar the dragon has awaken from his century long slumber and is causing panic in the city. Defeat Melzar. Prize : 2.5 Million Eris. WARNING: Only for skilled adventurers."
"Absolutely not," Kazuma says without hesitation.
"But it has a hefty pric-" Aqua says only reading the prices yet not caring about its contents.
"We will d-i-e. It even says in the quest it was only for skilled adventure- Darkness?"
Kazuma looked over to see Darkness drooling at the thought of the dragon, the masochist, waking up from her daydream. "Ahh~" Darkness moaned, face crimson red. "I agree with Aqua, we should take on this quest."
"Kazuma~ you cant move me out of the stable because your too picky," Aqua says puffing her face and putting on a small tantrum with her feet.
"Well sorry for wanting to live!" Kazuma says to Aqua.
The short crimson demon spoke up. "Kazuma, how about this one?"
"The lake east of Axel has been corrupted and is attracting monsters near the farm and eating crops. Purify the lake. Prize : 500,000 Eris."
"Hey, Aqua! Think you can do this?" Kazuma says tugging at her arm.
"Hmn?" Aqua says at she grabs and reads the quest paper.
"No! Nonononono," Aqua says, remembering what happened the last time she took on a purification quest.
"Ne, Aqua, weren't you the one who said not to be picky about quests?" Kazuma says using her own point against her.
"That only applies to NEETS like you! Its okay when I do it!"
"How about if someone stayed with you in the cage?"
"Huh?" Aqua took some time to think. "Well, I guess that would be fine, but who?"
"Oi Megumin!" Kazuma tugs at her arm. Megumin looks over. "What?"
"Can you go in the cage with Aqua?"
Megumin, not wanting to go in the cage after seeing what happened to Aqua the last time, quickly thought up of an excuse. "Nono, I can't swim."
"But you dont have to sw-"
"Still! I just can't!"
"How about yo- Darkness?" Kazuma asked looking at the blonde crusader.
Kazuma wasn't really surprised to see the drooling masochist aroused at the thought of the quest.
"On second thought, I'll just do it."
"EHHHH?! I don't want to be in a cage with a HIKINEET!"
"Then you would rather be alone?"
"Hm." Aqua thought about it for a moment before turning to Kazuma, glaring daggers at him. "Hmph! Fine! But you better not try anything!"
"I won't! What is your impression on me anyways? Is it that bad?"
Megumin and Darkness stayed unusually silent, only leading to Kazuma sighing in resignation.
As Kazuma and Aqua got into the cage, a awkward silence formed between the two, mostly because Aqua was curled up in the opposite corner of the cage, as if there was a hungry lion instead of Kazuma with her.
Kazuma says breaking the silence "Is it necessary to stay as far away from me as possible?"
Aqua puffs up her cheeks "Of course it is! Who knows what a NEET would do to me if I got too close!"
"Were in broad daylight, no one is stupid enough to do that!"
"But NEETS are!"
"Apologize to all the NEETS in the world now!"
"Hey you guys stop *pant* fighting already, we're here." Said the Arch-Wizard who was currently panting on the ground after carrying the wagon with the cage as if she had used explosion several times over.
"Uwah, the lake looks disgusting, its like Kazuma"
"That was uncalled for! You useless godess!"
Darkness, just as tired as Megumin, pushed the cage over, as crocodiles start eyeing Aqua.
"Kazuma im scared, that crocodile is looking at me funny!" Kazuma ignores Aqua and relaxes in his side of the cage.
"Eh? Kazuma?, KAZUMA! DONT SLEEP ON ME!" Aqua looks over to see Kazuma attemping to nap.
"Its fine, they can look at you all you want, it doesn't bother me anyway"
"But it bothers me!"
"Why? Are you scared?~~" Kazuma says with a taunting grin plastered on his face.
Aqua crosses her arms and puffs her face "Huh? M-m-me? S-scared? No way! I am the godess of water! These lowly creatures should bow down to me!"
"Hmnn?" Kazuma says sensing the lie as he taunts her even more.
"I said i'm not scar-!" Aqua tries to say as she hits the cage attracting more crocodiles.
"Eeekkk!, Kazuma! KAZUMA! HELP ME!" Kazuma is trying to hold in his laughter, he watches hysterically as Aqua panics in the water.
"Purify! , Purify!" More crocodiles come, which frightens Aqua even more.
Aqua in a panic moves to the middle of the cage, and chants purify as fast as she can with her eyes closed.
Meanwhile, Darkness and Megumin are watching from a distance, from the hill nearby watching the chaos ensue.
"Ah~ Looks like so much fun, I wanna be in that cage!" Darkness says with a pout on her face.
"M-Megumin?" Darkness looks over to Megumin, who is looking at Darkness with a evil grin on her face
The loli arch wizard is holding a jar and her eyepatch
"This is bad"
"The seal on my eye is about to be released, it will set free a beast that will eradicate all of humanity!" Megumin said to Darkness with a prideful look on her face.
Darkness being extremely gullible, believes the obvious lie "A b-bb-b-Beast?!, What should we do?! Oh no, nonono I cant die here"
"Yes, and It can only be sealed again by using a sacrifice" Megumin says with a grin as she pulls out a jar filled with clear slime.
Darkness hesitates before she asks "S-sacrifice?"
"The sacrifice must shower in is jar of toad slime" As she says this, a evil grin escapes the wizards lips.
"Yes! You must be it Darkness! for the sake of the world you must seal the beast!"
"F-for the sake of the world?"
Megumin raises her fists in the air "We are counting on you Darkness!"
"Yes! It is my duty as a knight to protect the world from this beast!" Darkness says as she pours the slime over herself.
Megumin falls and rolls on the floor unable to control herself "Hahahahahah" Megumin laughs hysterically.
Darkness finally catches on to her act "Huh? Was the beast not real?"
Megumin only kept laughing while seeing the slime drip off her face, which only embarrassed Darkness more.
"Im sorry! Hahahaha sorry!" She apologized while laughing.
Meanwhile, as the last crocodile as finally left, Megumin and Kazuma had laughed a year of their life off, Darkness was left covered in slime as she walked through the village, earning the stares of some 'men'. Aqua was left terrified after what had just happened at the lake.
"Oi Aqua, Aqua get up were back already"
Kazuma looks to see Aqua shivering in fear in a fetal position at the base of the cage. Kazuma pulls out his hand and gives a good flick to her forehead.
Aqua falls to the floor and rubs her forehead "Oww, Stupid NEET! What did you do that for?!?!"
Kazuma grabs her shoulder and Aqua stands up "I didn't want to carry you back to the stable again"
Aqua crosses her arms with her usual prideful act "You didn't have to! I'm fine just staying here!"
"But I'm not fine with it! Even if you are useless, I can't just leave you here"
Aqua felt a blush creep up her face and flicked him back "Stupid NEET!"
As Aqua and Kazuma got to their stable and lie comfortably on the hay, when the silence was suddenly broken by Aqua
"Ne- Kazuma" Aqua asked with a slight hesitation.
Kazuma turns over to Aqua in the face "What?" Kazuma replied with his usual nonchalant attitude.
"T-th-thank you, f-for coming with me in the cage today" Aqua's face turned to a slight hint of red as she said that.
'Huh? Whats wrong with Aqua today, she seems different today' Kazuma silently thought
Kazuma unsure of what to say "I did it because you wouldn't accept the quest otherwise"
Aqua being as sincere as possible, puts her hand on his arm"Still, thank you"
Kazuma smiles "Then your welcome"
With that, Aqua dozed off, leaving a confused Kazuma awake. Recently Kazuma has been noticing the little things about Aqua, Kazuma still doesn't know whats wrong with him, or why hes doing it, but recently he noticed her smile, the way her hair tangles in the hay, how cute she looks when she sleeps. Maybe, just maybe, did he not regret bringing Aqua here?
With those thoughts lingering on his head, Kazuma finally falls asleep.
Aqua shaking Kazuma up and down repeatedly "Kazuma! Wake up NEET!" Aqua asked for the fourth time.
"Natures Beauty!" With that, water comes out from Aqua fan and nails Kazuma in the face.
Kazuma immediately bullets up to the water "Uwahh!" With that Kazuma has awakened from his slumber.
Kazuma drying himself with a towel "What did you do that for?!" Kazuma asks, frustrated at the useless goddess.
Aqua pouts "Because you weren't waking up!"
Kazuma lies down on the hay again "Then let me sleep!"
"No! Lets go already, Megumin and Darkness are probably at the guild already!"
'Shes probably just hungry' Kazuma thought.
"Hai, hai" Kazuma says half-awake.
"Ah!" Kazuma says remembering something "Aqua, can we stop by Wiz's shop first?"
"Ehh, why?!" Aqua says impatiently.
"Don't worry, I will get you food later" Kazuma says, knowing she was hungry.
Blushing Aqua quickly recomposed herself "I never said I was hungry!" Aqua says.
"I know you too well, you useless goddess, how long do you think we've been together?"
Aqua looks away "Hmph!" Was all Aqua could say to retort.
As the duo reach Wiz's shop, Aqua spots a certain masked demon general, and immediately Kazuma senses a evil aura around Aqua.
Kazuma, sensing the evil intent, leaves Aqua outside the shop. Where she would not cause any trouble.
Kazuma waves his hand "Oi Wiz!" Kazuma greeted.
Wiz carrying some items looks over to Kazuma "Oh hello Kazuma" Wiz greeted back.
"Surely you haven't forgotten about me" Said the masked former general.
Kazuma raises his hand again "Hey Vanir, don't worry I left Aqua outside this time."
The last time Aqua went in, she destroyed half of the shop trying to cast archmage spells on Vanir. Kazuma had to pay for everything.
Kazuma, not wanting to keep Aqua waiting, gets straight to the point "Wiz, do you think you could teach me another lich skill?" Kazuma asked "Im looking for this one Kazuma says pointing at his card 'Endless Swamp'"
"Huh? Sure Kazuma" The shopkeeper with no business sense, replied "But for you to learn the skill, I need to have a target"
"Huh, I forgot about that" Kazuma thinks for a while, "psst, Vanir" he calls out to Vanir.
Vanir, already knowing what he's about to ask "Hmnn, what is it little boy?" Vanir asked.
Kazuma whispers "If you act as the target, i'll use my quest money to buy all of the most useless item here" Kazuma said.
Vanir's face lit up as he heard that the useless items would be off the shelf "Very well I shall be the target then"
The three head out to the back of the shop where Wiz demonstrated endless swamp on Vanir, Kazuma quickly learned the skill, and immediately put some points on to it.
Vanir pulls Kazuma to the corner of the shop"Oi kid, time to hold on to your part of the bargain" Vanir reminds Kazuma.
"Yeah, of course, what item should I buy all of?" Kazuma asked.
"This one is by far the most useless" Vanir whispers pointing to a shelf full of Aqua plushies.
"What?! Why do you have Aqua plushies as merchandise?" Kazuma asked.
"Well, you see, Wiz had a trip to Alcanretia and kind of got carried away from the Axis Cultists." Vanir explained.
'Man Aqua is so gonna make fun of me for this' Kazuma thinks as he purchases all 5 of the Aqua plushies.
As Kazuma leaves the store, Aqua runs up to him and they start walking to the guild.
"Ne~ Kazuma, whats inside the bag?" Aqua asks.
Kazuma quickly moves the bag away from her "N-nothing" Kazuma says, trying to hide the contents of the bag.
Holding on to his arm "Nee~~ Show mee~~" Aqua pleads.
"Arghh, get of me already Aqua" Kazuma says as he struggles to pull the bag away from Aqua.
As the two are playing tug of war with the paper bag, it rips in half and reveals the contents as they drop to the floor.
"Is this.." Aqua looks at the plushies
"Me?" Aqua looks and comes to a conclusion "Could it be? That your secretly admiring me?!?!" Aqua says with stars in her eyes.
"Thats right, you should praise me and join the Axis cult!" Aqua says with pride.
Kazuma quickly composes his thoughts and explains himself "Its not like that! I had a agreement with Vanir, and he said I had to buy all of the most useless item in the store" Kazuma clarifies.
"U-useless!?!" Aqua suddenly has that killing aura again "How dare he, that masked demo-"
Suddenly they see a jumping hat in the distance "Aquaa--!, Kazumaaa--!" They hear Megumin call out in the distance.
"Oi!" Kazuma and Aqua run over, "Yo, Megumin, Yo, Darkness"
"You guys were late!" Megumin and Darkness exclaimed.
"Sorry, sorry, I went to Wiz's to do something."
"Kazuma, what happened to Aqua?" Darkness says looking over at the gloomy Aqua who had murderous intent written all over her.
"Ah, just leave her for a while, she'll be back in no time, probably" Kazuma replies.
"A glass of beer please!" Megumin happily orders.
Kazuma taps the waitress on the back "Sorry lady, please cancel the order of beer"
"Hey! What did you do that for?!" Megumin retorts.
"Your too young to drink beer"
"Im not a child anymore Kazuma!, Im already 14!!" Megumin says.
Kazuma Pondered for a bit
'Even if its true that 14 year old girls can marry in his world, I'm definetely not comfortable letting her drink'
"Even so, no drinks for you" Kazuma finishes.
"No fair Kazuma! Aqua gets to drink!"
"I don't even let Aqua drink! She just does that on her own!" 'With my own money' Kazuma adds.
"Oi you NEET! I dont need your permission to drink!" Aqua snaps out of her trance.
"With MY money you do!"
As the food arrives at the table, it is quickly eaten by Megumin and Aqua, who were clearly starving while waiting.
Just as they were about to finish eating, an announcement from the guild came up.
"Attention adventurers of Axel!, It is finally that time of the year! Flying Cabbage season!"
"Huh flying cabbage?" Kazuma thought out loud.
"In this world cabbages fly instead of grow" Aqua explains.
"For each cabbage you catch, it is worth 10,000 eris!, we are giving a hefty price because the cabbages are really ripe this year!"
Hearing that, Kazuma did a double take, "10,000 eris each?!!" 'If we get enough I could finally pay Aqua's debt'
Kazuma got on the table and started jumping "Oi guys! Were catching cabbages today!"
"Yeah!" Kazuma got a collective shout from the party.
As the party walk out to the field with their baskets, cabbages running from other adventurers ran straight into Kazuma's basket. Prepared for this Kazuma got over 45 baskets.
"Pftt, and they said luck was the worst stat for an adventurer" Kazuma thought back on that statement.
Cabbage after cabbage were flying into Kazuma's baskets and were racking up numbers from the hundreds to the thousands. Meanwhile Darkness unable to hit any cabbages due to her terrible aim, is simply getting hit by all the cabbages, arousing her further. Aqua is doing fine, hitting cabbages at a decent rate. On the other hand Megumin has just used her explosion, is unable to move, but gathered quite a few cabbages with that one explosion.
AN : in this AU Kazuma will become rich from cabbages and not Vanirs Purchases, however He will still make Japanese products*
The party had returned to the guild, Kazuma, cashing his cabbages when his jaw dropped when he found out he had enough to last him a lifetime and had earned 2.5 billion eris from the cabbages alone. Kazuma has never looked so happy in this adventure until now.
"Kazuma~, Kazuma~" Aqua said holding on to his arm.
"Lend me some money Kazumaa~"
"But I paid all your debts already" Kazuma said.
"Eheh, About that" Aqua said nervously.
"What did you do this time?"
"I was sure I was gonna make a load of money after the cabbage harvest, so I treated everyone at the guild with drinks" Aqua said.
"Well didn't you make money from the cabbages?" Kazuma asked.
"But the lady said I caught lettuce! So I couldn't sell them" Aqua said pouting as she recalled the events.
Not even listening to what Aqua has to say "Good luck!" Kazuma said.
"Kazummaa~~~ Pleaseeee~" Aqua begged.
"Oi Aqua, can you pay up yet?" A tall muscular man said, he was probably the boss of the work force.
Aqua shook her head still carrying the pout on her face, the man dragged Aqua to the construction site where she began working her debt off.
Kazuma shrugged it off 'I'll just check on her later'
"Kaa-Zuu-Maaa" The Arch-Wizard said calling out to Kazuma.
"Yes its Kazuma" Kazuma replied with his usual line.
"Can we go to Wiz's shop tomorrow?" Megumin said.
"Why?" Kazuma asked.
"I wanna buy a new staff with the money I got from the cabbages!" Megumin said happily.
Kazuma mentally noted that he had to go to Wiz's shop the next day. "Oi Darkness, how many cabbages did you get?"
"None" Darkness said while happily drooling.
'Oh yeah I forgot, Darkness didn't try to get any cabbages'
Kazuma suddenly stands up and faces the entire guild "Oi guys! I'll treat you all on drinks tonight!" Kazuma shouted.
'Gotta get on their good side now that I got all this money' Kazuma thought.
As the night ended with everyone, except Megumin, drunk. Kazuma went to the construction site to check on Aqua to see Aqua sleeping on the concrete wall.
"Ne, Aqua, Wake up" Kazuma said as she shook Aqua "Aqua--",
"*Yawwwnnn, Huh? NEET?" Aqua said as she woke up "I can't go back yet, I need to work my debt off"
Kazuma shook his head "It's ok already" He put his hand on Aqua's shoulder "I paid it already"
Aqua widens her eyes on shock "Really?!?! Thankyouthankyourthankyou!!" Aqua says as she hugs the NEET , quickly realizing what she's doing, both of their faces light up bright red and Aqua quickly releases the hug.
"Ewww, Stupid NEET! Pervert!!"
"Oi! Your the one who did that"
"Hmph" Aqua then proceeded to stay put in the ground for what seemed like a minute.
Pulling Aqua's arm "Oiii, C'mon lets go back already" Kazuma said as he gestured his hand.
"Hmph! fine stupid NEET" Aqua complied, however as much as Aqua hated to admit it, she really was thankful for this NEET. Even though her thank you may not sound sincere, she really was glad to have Kazuma by her side. Even if it was partly his fault she's stuck here, He stuck with her, paid all of her debts, put up with her shenanigans and helped her out during hard times. Without Kazuma, the party would fall, without Kazuma, she would be alone. Without Kazuma she would still be working right now. Without Kazuma, she would not be able to be happy as she is right now. She really had alot to thank to this NEET, she really owed alot to Kazuma. Her thoughts stopped as they reached the stable and as she lie down on the hay.
Aqua moved over "Idiot"
"Huh? Where did that come from?" Kazuma asked, confused.
"Just shut up." Aqua said, finally ending the long night, as she fell into the dreamworld.