A/N: I wrote this a while ago and decided to post it. It's my first chapter story. I'll try to get the second chapter up by next week.
Disclaimer: I don't own Elementary or the characters.
It was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea. Most people say you can't keep your feelings secret forever- and although he didn't usually believe things the simple minded public thought- Sherlock couldn't disagree with this true statement.
From what he knew, it had started 2 years ago, when he'd found out that Watson was thinking about leaving the Brownstone and moving out. They'd fallen into a happy rhythm by then and he didn't want it to change. He didn't like change. Only when he thought about it more deeply did he realise the real reason why he was feeling nothing but dread about her leaving him; he had romantic feelings for his partner.
Although he tried to show to the world a calm exterior, the famous Sherlock Holmes was never truly calm. There was always something going round his head, something to think about. His mind worked 24/7; even in his sleep his brain spewed thoughts and ideas (mostly about work). So, he did the only rational thing he could think of: run away from his problems and move back to London. Though, come to think of it, that wasn't rational at all.
Kitty had been a distraction, a distorted replacement for Watson. Nevertheless, whenever his mind wasn't consumed by cases or experiments, it always went back to Joan. How he missed the way her face would light up when she was happy. How much he missed her staying up all night with him to work a case. Or even how she would get angry with him for whatever crude comment he had said or careless act he had done. It was all too much for him. If he felt this way, it was too torturous to be away from her, he had to go back to New York, even if that meant hiding it from her when he was there.
Once they got back, he recognised what a decision he had made. He would have to be around someone he loved and knew didn't love him back and she was completely off limits. That would be his punishment for all his past misdeeds. After a while- and after Kitty left- and Joan moved back in, Sherlock was able to bear the torment of not acting on his feelings. He fell back into the happy rhythm with her and eventually moved on to Fiona. It wasn't a perfect solution, however, as his love for Watson never fully dissipated. When it came to an end, he was upset, not so much for the dissolving of his relationship, but for the realisation that there was no longer a barrier between him and his housemate, no restraints or distractions. That is what led to this mistake…
It was a bad idea. She knew it was a bad idea. Although Joan was oblivious to her partner's feelings towards her, she had her own feelings to hide, though they were discovered much later than Sherlock's. It was only when he began dating Fiona that the former surgeon picked up on her love for the consulting detective. It took an opportunity of jealousy to allow her emotional state to reveal itself. When she learnt of their relationship, it had come on like an avalanche. She loved him, but she didn't want it to change their friendship or their work.
Nonetheless, it did have some effect on both those particulars. In each case, she avoided him like the plague and- with his concentration on burying his feelings- even the great Sherlock Holmes didn't notice. She attempted to carry on as normal but after a long 2 months of inconvenience, Joan finally acknowledged that she would never see her friend in the same light again. In her case, that is what led to this mistake…