Modern AU in which Thor is an ex hockey player trying to return to the ice after an injury, while also trying to rekindle his relationship with his girlfriend Jane. Until he runs into a figure skater (Loki) that turns his world upside down and changes his whole life. With the help of his friends Steve and Bucky (yes, they're a couple as well), he'll get to know this intriguing who may just be the key to getting him back on the ice. But does Loki lead him down the path he'd originally intended.

Warnings; smut, yaoi, slash, m/m, a bit of f/m (not much). Don't like, don't read. Also talks of depression and reference to attempted suicide.

As always, I own nothing. Marvel owns all these characters, I just get to play with them for awhile.

And huge thanks to my figure skating friend Tea4thought for all the information I gleaned in order to write this. Thanks a million, buddy! I owe ya one!

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

Chapter 1

"What the hell is he doing?"

Thor could hear the voice projecting across the deserted rink where he was currently doing a few shaky laps. It had been what, 1 year, 2 maybe since he'd last been on the ice. He felt like a complete and total newby,but still, he didn't think he looked terrible enough to warrant that response.

Glancing up, he noted the tall,slim man that had asked the question to his friend Steve. He'd known Steve since college and though they weren't as close as he'd like anymore, they still kept in touch. So when Steve offered him a private place to practice and get his skills back, he literally jumped at the chance. Coming back from a broken leg was difficult enough, but he didn't want anyone who might recognize him to see. Anyone, but Steve that was, and he knew his friend would keep his secret. He just couldn't take the embarrassment of how far he'd fallen on his skating skills since he'd last been on the ice.

"Don't you know who that is," Steve asked the other man with an astonished grin creeping up his face that Thor could see as he glided wobbly by. The lanky man looked completely non plussed so his friend continued undaunted. "That's Thor Odinson! THE Thor Odinson! 5 time Hockey champ for the Ducks!"

"I didn't ask WHO he was," The man replied in a snarky tone. "I asked what the hell he was doing? He's tearing up my ice!" The man announced and turned to disappear into the back.

His ice? Entitled much? Thor thought to himself, then barely saved himself from tumbling by a wild pinwheeling of arms. Shit,he needed to focus. It was obvious that it had been ages since he last skated. But he felt good, hopeful even. And at least his leg wasn't giving him any trouble. The doctor had warned that the steel rod in it could ache when it was cold. Well, it was certainly cold in here.

Still he couldn't help glancing up as the man returned a moment later and thrust a pair of skates at Steve. He could Tell by Steve's resolute look on his face as he crossed the ice towards him, that this wasn't good. He stopped in the middle to await him as he glanced up to see the slim man leaning on the rail watching them with a frown.

"Friend of yours," Thor asked looking back to Steve.

"Most days," Steve replied, then thrust the skates at Thor. "Look, I'm sorry buddy, you're welcome to practice here after hours, but rules are rules."

"Steve, these are figure skates," Thor said taking the skates and looking at them in disdain.

"I know," Steve sighed. "But this is the figure skating rink, and Loki does have a point, your hockey skates are tearing up the ice. Now I know you don't want to go over to the hockey rink, but if you want to practice here, you've got to switch skates."

Thor nearly growled out loud. He knew his friend was going out on a limb just securing him a spot here to practice, but asking him to wear figure skates? He looked back over and saw another familiar face had joined this Loki fellow by the rail. Bucky, Steve's long time boyfriend was chatting with a smirk to the lean man. Likely about him, Thor thought, though Loki had since turned his back on the rink, leaning with his elbows against the rail now and he could see his shoulder length dark hair flipped up into jaunty little half curls in the back. That combined with the dark clothes he wore only concreted the image into Thor's head, he was likely some emo wanna be. How the heck did Steve and Bucky ever meet him?

Thor plopped down onto the ice, ignoring the cold biting into his ass out of shear mirth, and removed his skates, swapping them for the finer bladed figure skates with a strange little area of jagged teeth at the front. He'd never paid much attention to Jane's skates, now he wish he had. With much deliberation, he climbed back up and handed over his hockey skates to Steve. He'd show that self important, emo douche. He wasn't a quitter, no matter the difficulty. Challenge accepted!

"Atleast he didn't give you cheap rentals," Steve remarked trying to find an up side, as he turned to carefully begin making his way back across the ice. Years of working with the kids he coached there making his ice balance nearly impeccable even without skates. "Oh, and mind the toe pick." he offered just as Thor pushed off to begin doing laps again.

"The wha.." Thor tried to ask, but as he leaned forward,the tiny teeth on the blade grabbed the ice and the sudden stop threw him face forward onto the rink.

Steve cringed as he joined Loki and Bucky at the rail. "You okay?" he called back to Thor hopefully.

Thor just knew he was being laughed at and growled to himself as he picked himself back up off the ice. Giving Steve a wave as he once again struck off. Thinking this Loki was a real jerk, but as he made his way by, he didn't see the smirk he thought he would on the leaner man's face. He just saw a patient watchfulness. That threw him off and he soon found himself face down again.

"I give him a week," He heard Loki's now much closer voice lilting smugly. Smirk or not, he had this guy pegged as being a real ass.

"You're on," He heard Bucky's reply and the slap of what must have been hands shaking on the bet. That was enough to bolster him to get back up. He'd show that emo wanna be jerk. He was a champion hockey skater, how much more difficult could figure skates be? He just had to stay off the …OOFF, he hit the ice with another slap. Toe pick.